


Hurt

by DeckofDragons



Series: Swapfell Sans Suffers [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Blood and Gore, Cutting, Execution, Forced Pregnancy, Gang Rape, Minor Character Death, Nightmare Porn, Nightmares, Other, Oviposition, Past Mpreg, Past Rape/Non-con, Sad Fluff, Self Harm, Self Loathing, Sexual Conditioning, Stabbing, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal actions, Tentacle Rape, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-10-29 12:44:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 67
Words: 128,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10854270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/pseuds/DeckofDragons
Summary: Sans is not okay. Papyrus wants to help but doesn't know how to.





	1. Pain

Sans hesitated, staring down at the knife in his hand. Where had he even gotten the idea to do this? It made sense… sort of. But if Papyrus ever found out… He wouldn’t, Sans wore long gloves most of the time anyway.

He gripped the knife in his hand, scraping its edge lightly against the inside of his ulna. The sound of metal scraping against bone sent a chill down his spine.

He fidgeted, squeezing his legs tight together. His pussy was manifested in his pelvis, aching with gross arousal. He’d been safe for almost two months now, but his body _still_ thought that after eating it was time for his former captor to fuck him. It was _disgusting_ , and he couldn’t make it go away without touching himself. He _hated_ it and himself for being like that.

Which was why he was here in his room, holding a knife to his wrist. Pain might make the arousal go away. And if he could get his body to associate arousal with physical pain he might be able to make it stop for good.

Taking a deep breath, he scraped the knife against his wrist some more, pressing down harder this time. He winced as it started to cut into the bone. He almost stopped but kept going. Pain was what he was after.

He kept at it until with a small amount of satisfaction he cut deep enough to draw ‘blood’. It wasn’t real blood, just the magic that coursed through his body that kept him alive.

He stared at the small trickle of purple magic leaking from his arm, focusing all his attention on how much the cut stung. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to drown out his arousal.

Groaning in frustration, he pushed the knifes’ point into the cut, wiggling it back and forth to make it deeper. Soon blood started running down his arm. Not wanting to get it on the bed or carpet, he stood up and moved to the bedside table. He now had more leverage on the knife, able to put more weight on it.

A kind of anger and hatred that he hadn’t felt for a long time filled him as he continued _digging_ the knife into his bone. It _hurt_ , oh gosh it hurt so much. But gasping and crying in pain, he kept at it. He deserved to hurt for being such a gross _disgusting_ whore. He couldn’t even control his own fucking mind and body.

He let out a yelp of pain as the knife suddenly broke through, impaling the thin bone of ulna. He gasped, hurriedly letting go of the knife handle. It stayed upright, piercing through his bone and into the bedside table beneath. He tried to move his hand but even the tiniest movement was _excruciating_.

“Ah fuck,” he panted, tears of pain leaking down his face. He bent over the table, his legs feeling too watery to support him properly. “Fuck.” He felt ill, almost like he might puke.

Magic ‘blood’ was pooling beneath his arm. It started spreading out to drip over the edge and onto the carpet. There went keeping the carpet clean.

There was a knock on the door. He jumped in surprise, gasping and choking in pain as he inadvertently moved his injured arm.

“You okay Sans?” Papyrus voice was muffled by the door, but the frantic concern in his voice was still audible.

“Y-yeah, I’m okay,” Sans lied. Papyrus couldn’t know about this. It would only make him even more upset and worried about Sans.

“Ya sure? I thought heard something… sounded like ya were in pain or something.” Of course, Papyrus had heard Sans’ yelp of pain, the walls in the house were almost paper thin. But he knew Sans masturbated in here like a gross whore after eating. So, as long as Sans played it cool he wouldn’t come in.

“I-I was just…” he stammered, finding it hard to think past the pain shooting up his arm. “I uh accidentally rolled off the bed. I’m fine.” A poor lie that probably wouldn’t fool anyone but might be enough to get Papyrus to leave.

There was a long few seconds of silence from the other side of the door before Papyrus spoke again. “Are ya sure you’re all right?” Why did he always have to sound so sad all the time? “It’s okay if you’re not. You can talk to me about it, ya know that, right?”

“I’m fine, so please just _leave_.” Sans almost sounded convincing that time, almost like he hadn’t just stabbed a knife through his own arm.

“All right then. But uh ya need me to get ya anything?”

“N-no, thanks.” Sans _needed_ for him to leave.

“Okay, but if ya change your mind feel free to yell for me. I’ll be in my room.”

Sans made no move until he the faint sound of Papyrus’ door closing. He then turned back to look at the knife still impaling his arm. It was… interesting. His bones were thin sure, but he hadn’t known he had enough strength to push a knife point all the way through one. Had his bones always been that frail and he just hadn’t noticed somehow? Or was this a new thing that was probably tied to how much of a fucked-up mess he’d become?

But now that he’d calmed down a little he realized that it had worked. His pussy was gone, his arousal had been snuffed out by the pain in his arm.

“Good,” he whispered to himself with a satisfied smile. He’d finally found a way he could exert some control over his own body again.

Now all he had to do was get the knife out, bandage his arm, and clean up the mess. And he had to do it all without Papyrus catching on to anything being wrong. That shouldn’t be a problem. Papyrus had always been a deep sleeper and had no doubt gone to his room to take a nap.

Sans wrapped his hand around the knife handle again, being careful not to wiggle it. Then clenching his eyes shut and mentally bracing himself, he wrenched it out with one smooth tug. He whimpered at the pain, more tears filling his eyes, but otherwise made no noise.

He glanced at the knife, its blade dripping purple with his spilled magic. He shakily placed it down on the table. He went out of his way to avoid looking at his injured wrist as he moved to the closet. He pulled out a shirt and wrapped it around the injury to cover it up and to prevent more blood from dripping onto the carpet. The shirt was purple so the blood leaking into it wouldn’t be obvious.

Shaking, he exited his room and ran to the bathroom, almost slamming the door behind him. Nothing new, he always did that.

He removed the shirt from his arm to finally inspect the damage. The hole wasn’t very big, only a few centimeters long, but magic was leaking out of it at a steady rate. And it _hurt_.

He dug into the medicine cabinet and pulled out a roll of bandages. He didn’t even bother giving his wrist more than a very brief rinse under the faucet before wrapping it up. He wanted to spend as little time looking and thinking about it as possible.

After that it was cinch to run back to room and clean everything up using a towel he’d grabbed from the bathroom. He wiped off the blade of the knife and hid it underneath his bed where no one would think to look. He then pulled his gloves back onto hands, smiling in satisfaction as they were long enough to conceal the bandage on his wrist.

It still hurt and probably would for a while but it was worth it. He’d just have to be careful to not give any indication that he was in pain so that Papyrus wouldn’t notice. But next time he did this he’d be careful not to take it to such an extreme.


	2. Tentacles

The octopus babies, as Sans still tended to think of them even though he shouldn’t, were starting to get big. Not huge, but if they kept growing like this then in less than a year they’d probably be about the same height as Sans. Though, considering how small he was, that wasn’t really all that large.

But regardless they were happy to see him when he came to visit them. Which was a nice change from the looks of pity and sadness he got from everyone else.

They’d all been name after various fonts. It had been Papyrus’ idea to name them like that, he’d said it was kind of a tradition in their family.

He sat down at the water’s edge, beside the pool of water behind Undyne’s house where they lived. Papyrus sat down next to him. The babies excitedly moved to greet them.

Taking a deep breath, Sans reached out to pet them. He had to brace himself as their tentacles reached out to wrap around his wrists. But he still winced a little at the small amount of pressure being put on where he’d stabbed the knife into his arm this morning. He couldn’t let on that anything was wrong with that arm, not with Papyrus sitting right next to him.

“You okay Sans?” Papyrus asked. He was petting them too as they liked him almost as much as they liked Sans. But of course, he had noticed Sans wincing. He seemed to notice everything.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sans said with a false smile. It hurt but he’d suffered worse injuries in the past, back when he’d been a prominent member of the Royal Guard. So, he could bear this. It was a good thing anyway. The pain should help keep him focused on the present.

Papyrus sighed but didn’t say anything else. He always seemed to be super careful not to do or say anything that might upset Sans. It was like he thought upsetting Sans even a tiny bit would be the worst possible thing.

They sat there like that for a little while before Papyrus abruptly stood up. “I need to talk to Undyne about something real quick, you think you could be okay on your own for a couple minutes?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” It’s not like he’d really be alone anyway, the babies were here.

“’Kay, be right back.” With that Papyrus disappeared with a small pop.

Sans sighed, turning back to the babies. “When are you guys going to learn to talk?” he said. For the past couple of weeks, they’d been making sounds mimicking proper speech but none of them had formed real words yet. It was only a matter of time before they did.

“Can you say ‘mama’?” ‘Mama’ was the first word most parents taught their children to say, right? Not that he knew much about parenting or had any motivation to try to learn.

“Ma-ma.” He sounded it out for them, not really expecting it to work.

“Mama,” one of them echoed back.

Sans froze, trying to figure out which one had said that. But it was followed by a couple more saying it to. And once a few more said it the rest quickly followed. They’d apparently learned their first word.

Tears filled his eyes as he looked at them. They were excited about their new word, repeating it over and over again. It was kind of cute. He wasn’t sure how he should feel about it though. He still had a hard time thinking about himself as their mother. He certainly wasn’t the one raising them, that was mostly Undyne. All Sans did was come see them for a few hours each day. And he only did that because he liked the fact that they were always happy and excited to see him.

They started reached for him, wanting to touch him even more than before. Their tentacles were thin and smooth as they started wrapping around his arms wherever they could reach. A few even crawled up onto his lap where he learned that their tentacles were long enough to almost wrap around the entirety of his ribcage.

Even working together, they probably weren’t strong enough to restrain him or hold him down in any way. They weren’t trying to either. They were just excited and wanted to touch him. But in a few years, when they were bigger, they would be able to. And eventually, once they were all grown up, any single one of them would be able to lift him and force him to do almost anything.

“Please stop,” he whimpered. Trembling, he tried pulling away to free himself but they weren’t letting go. And his distress only seemed to make them cling to him a bit tighter.

They weren’t going to hurt him. Even if any of them did happen to grow to be violent and dislike him, they weren’t trying to hurt him right now. All they wanted was his affection and attention. So, there was no need to be afraid. But he was.

He could almost feel what it would be like to have much larger tentacles wrapping around him. Restraining him and pulling his legs apart so that their owner could rape him. Or just holding him while he sat there and let it fuck him.

“ _Please_ stop,” he whined, tears spilling from his eyes. He _needed_ to get them off _right_ now. The only thing preventing him from completely losing his place in reality was the pain shooting up his arm from his injured wrist.

On the verge of starting to hyperventilate, he gently started peeling their tentacles off. They seemed disappointed and confused but thankfully didn’t put up much resistance.

Soon he had them all off. They all watched as he retreated from the water’s edge. They understandably looked confused. They hadn’t done anything wrong, it was Sans’ own weakness that was the problem.

“Mama?” one of them said. A few more of them repeated the question.

“I-I need a minute,” Sans said despite them not being able to fully understand his words. “I just need a little space to breath, okay?”

“O-kay,” one of them sounded out. The rest quickly picked it up, forgetting their confusion about Sans’ withdrawal to be excited about learning another new word. How could they be so cute and terrifying at the same time?

 

***

Undyne jumped in surprised, making an undignified squeak as Papyrus landed in front her in her lab. “Why can’t you use the goddam door?” she asked with a growl. “Like _normal_ people do.”

“You’re smart, right,” Papyrus said, ignoring her words. She asked him that literally every time he teleported into her lab.

“Y-yes, I’m smart. Why?” she said.

“Do you know of a way I could maybe help Sans?”

Undyne sighed. “I take it he’s not doing very well then?”

“Not really.” Papyrus sighed too, his shoulder’s slumping. “I’m trying but… nothing seems to help and I don’t know what to do.”

“And what m-makes you think I w-would know?”

“I don’t know. Maybe there’s a drug or something that would make him feel better.”

“I’m n-not that kind of scientist. I don’t make drugs.”

“I know but… I don’t know what do. He’s just so…” Papyrus didn’t know how to finish that thought as tears formed in his eyes. Why couldn’t he help Sans feel better? Sans was his baby brother, he should know how to help him but nothing he did or said ever seemed to work.

Undyne gave him a sympathetic look. “If I knew h-how to help I would b-but I don’t. I’m sorry.”

Papyrus sighed again, putting his hands in his pockets. “That’s okay.” It had been worth a try. If only he could just wrap Sans up in a blanket and protect him from all the bad things in the world. But that wasn’t possible.

 “I’ll uh talk to Alphys l-later to see if she might have an idea,” Undyne said before he could teleport away.

Chances of Alphys being able to help were probably low. Papyrus didn’t know her all that well but he did know that she considered violence and brute force to be the answer to every problem. But she was Sans’ friend so she might be able to come up with something.

“Thanks. I’ll uh… see ya later then I guess. I gotta get back to Sans, I don’t like leaving him alone for long.” With that Papyrus teleported out.

He landed on the spot he’d left, by the pool that the tentacle babies lived in. They were still there in the pool but Sans had withdrawn a short distance.

He was sitting on the ground, hugging his knees close to his chest. He wasn’t crying but his face was wet with recently shed tears.

“You okay?” Papyrus asked, walking over to sit beside him.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Sans said. It was a lie. Every time he said he was okay it was a lie.

“What’s wrong?” Papyrus couldn’t even _try_ to help if Sans didn’t tell him what was bothering him. “What happened?”

“N-nothing, I’m fine.”

Papyrus sighed. “Ya know ya can talk to me, right? I won’t judge ya for anything or get upset. I wanna help.” Not that he could really do much but he could at least _try_ if Sans would just give him the opportunity to.

Sans hesitated, looking at him. Maybe he was about to finally talk about it. “They’re starting to learn how to talk.” Or he could completely change the subject. “Check it out.” With a forced smile, he stood up and moved closer to the pool once more, though not too close. “Can you guys say ‘Mama’?”

“Mama,” they repeated back to him. They didn’t speak in anything close to unison but they all seemed super excited about it.

“See, cute, right?” Sans turned his forced smile back towards Papyrus.

“Yeah.” Papyrus couldn’t deny that they were cute. But he just wanted Sans to be truly happy again. But with each passing day that seemed further and further off.


	3. Training

“Okay, now show that training dummy who’s boss,” Alphys said.

Sans stared at the dummy, set a few meter’s in front of him. They were in Alphys’ front yard. She’d insisted that he come in for a training session, like he’d used to do back when he was working on getting into the Guard. He hadn’t wanted to come, he didn’t really have the energy to do something like this. But trying to get Alphys to accept a ‘no’ even before he’d lost his willpower had been nigh on impossible.

It was a few days after Sans had started using pain to make his arousal go. He now had multiple pretty deep cuts on his wrist, wrapped up in bandages and hidden beneath his glove. No one, especially Papyrus, ever had to know about it.

“Just summon one of your cool Blaster thingies and blast that thing out of existence,” Alphys said. She was full of enthusiasm that Sans had used to share, though he couldn’t recall what it had felt like.

Taking a deep breath, Sans reached for his magic. He hadn’t used attack magic at all since he’d been captured, so he was probably a bit rusty. He felt the Blaster take shape in his mind, forming beside him.

_Last_ time he’d summoned a Blaster had been when he’d been trying to defend himself against his captor. Right before it had raped him for that first time and then impregnated him with its eggs. The very beginning of everything going horribly, horribly wrong in his life.

The half-formed Blaster fizzed out of existence as his concentration snapped. He whimpered as he pulled his arms in to hug himself.

“You okay Sans?” Papyrus asked. He was sitting off the side, watching. Both he and Alphys were looking at him with worried expressions on their faces.

“Y-yeah I’m fine. I’m just…” Just thinking about his rapist again, like always because he was too weak to stop his mind from straying to places it wasn’t supposed to go.

“How ‘bout just a normal bone attack then?” Alphys suggested. She’d toned down her enthusiasm for him.

“Okay, yeah, I can do that.” Sans focused his mind on forming a small wave of bone constructs instead. They were easier to hold onto and required less magic to form. So, he could summon them without thinking too much about anything.

He fired them at the dummy, hitting it squarely on its bucket helmet. He didn’t have enough willpower or desire to do damage to be able to put any substantial force behind his attack. As a result, they did little more than rock its head back. Before if he’d done something like that, even holding back, he would’ve at least destroyed its head.

“That’s okay, you did a good job.” Alphys patted him on the back, though her pats were often more like slaps. “Now do that a few more times and then we can practice sparring.”

“Okay.” Sans sighed, he’d rather just lie down some more. But if he did she and Papyrus would undoubtedly be disappointed in him. So, he summoned another wave of bone constructs, a bit bigger this time, and fired them at the dummy. They again, did no real damage.

Alphys kept him at it for the next half hour or so. Insisting the whole time that he was doing a good job even though he wasn’t. A child could’ve done more substantial damage to the dummy than he was doing. But Papyrus cheered him on too, also giving him words of encouragement that weren’t true.

“All right, now let’s do some sparring.” Alphys handed him a wooden practice sword after she’d deemed he’d thrown enough harmless attacks at the dummy. “You haven’t done this in a while so I’ll go easy on ya.”

Sans sighed, holding the fake sword in his hands and positioning his body into a half-remembered attack stance. It felt unnatural and strange to stand this way after so long. He was stiff and nervous, not loose and relaxed like he had been all those times before when he’d been eager to face off against Alphys.

“Come at me,” she said. She was holding her own wooden practice sword, standing in a more defensive position. Her stance looked natural, not forced the way Sans’ felt and probably looked.

Sans hesitated, gripping his sword tighter than he should. It would be much too easy to knock it out of his hands like this. But he couldn’t get his grip to relax.

“You got this Sans,” Papyrus called from the sidelines. “You can do it, just don’t think too much about it.”

Sans took a small step forward, swinging his sword at Alphys. His movements were stiff and unnatural, not flowing and smooth the way they used to be. If this were a real fight Alphys would’ve easily parried him and stabbed him through the chest in less time than it would’ve taken him to realize that he’d lost. As it was she simply blocked it.

“Keep going,” she said.

Sans kept going, trying to find the rhythm they’d used to have when they’d sparred like this before. He’d thought of it like a dance, one he’d been good at. They’d mixed physical and magical attacks in their flow of combat, always seeming to be in tune with each other. It had been exhilarating.

But now Sans felt out of sync with his own body. Not only was he physically rusty from months of inactivity but he also couldn’t think fast enough. His mind no longer even seemed to work the same way it had back then. He lacked motivation and willpower which led to a lack of speed and focus. He probably would’ve cried about it if Alphys wasn’t right there to judge him for it. She didn’t need to know just how emotionally weak he was.

She started off doing nothing but blocking his attacks with practiced ease. She didn’t even make any derisive remarks as she’d used to do to motivate him to anger to get him to attack harder. But after a while, she followed up parrying one of his clumsy swings with a light slap of her weapon on his wrist. The blow would’ve done little more than sting and possibly bruise a bit if it wasn’t the wrist he’d been cutting to make his gross arousal go away.

Not prepared for that, Sans yelped in pain, dropping his weapon and pulling his wrist close to his body. The bandage hidden beneath his glove was now wet with fresh ‘blood’, her blow having reopened at least one of the cuts there.

Alphys froze in place. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to hit you that hard.”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” Sans quickly lowered his hands to his side once, trying to block out the stinging pain. “You surprised me.”

“Ya sure?” Papyrus asked. He’d teleported to stand beside them. “Let me see.”

“N-no, no, it’s fine,” Sans said with a forced smile. “I just didn’t expect it, that’s all. It’s been a while since I’ve been in fight. I didn’t think she’d actually hit me.” Why he hadn’t considered that was beyond him but he really hadn’t. Otherwise he would’ve been more prepared for that.

Papyrus gave him an unreadable look. “Okay but…”

“I’m fine, really,” Sans cut him off. To avoid Papyrus’ being able to see the lie on his face, he bent down to retrieve the practice sword. “Let’s get back to sparring.” He smiled at Alphys, hoping she wouldn’t see how false it was. He didn’t want to go back to sparring but he needed to stop talking to Papyrus before he pressed and found out about Sans’ self-inflected injuries.

“Well uh… all right then, if you’re sure you’re not hurt,” she said, giving him an unsure look.

“I’m sure,” Sans said. He resumed his battle stance, going straight in for another attack. He could take a little pain. It wasn’t that bad, he just hadn’t been prepared for it. Besides he wouldn’t have to be in pain if he wasn’t such a gross whore unable to control his own body. So, he had nothing but his own worthlessness to blame for this.

Alphys had him spar with her for the next hour. Luckily, after that first incident her occasional counter blows were much softer. And she only hit his injured wrist a few times, all of which he was prepared for and did little more than wince. Which she thankfully didn’t notice and Papyrus, having returned to the sidelines, was too far away too see.

Once they were done with that Papyrus teleported them back home. Where they sat on the couch next to each other to watch T.V. until it was time for supper.

“I’m really proud of you Sans,” Papyrus said after a short while of them sitting there.

“What for?” Sans asked. His whole body ached with the once familiar burn of having exercised extensively. He was super out of shape if that much exercise made him feel like this. But he hadn’t really _done_ anything worthy of Papyrus being proud of him. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah you did, you tried. You put effort into something. That’s doing a lot. So, I’m proud of you.”

Sans paused, thinking about Papyrus’ words. He _had_ put effort into something. Though not very much, it was still better than lying around on the couch all day.

“I uh… thanks,” he said. Maybe training with Alphys was a good idea after all. She’d suggested that they make this a thing that they do every day after his visit with the babies. He’d reluctantly agreed, intending to find some excuse to get out of it tomorrow and every day that he could. But if it made Papyrus happy then maybe he would find a way to force himself to put up with it.


	4. Breaking Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated the tags for this chapter, feel free to look them over.

_It was dark and the river was burbling quietly behind Sans. There was something in it, stalking him, but he couldn’t turn around to see what it was. He couldn’t run away from it either. He was surrounded by an empty void, the only way to go was towards the river where_ it _was lurking. So, he was left standing there, unable to even so much as glance back towards the river where danger lurked._

_Something long and thick wrapped around his ankle, jerking him back into the river. Air bubbles escaped from his mouth and nose as it dragged him down into the freezing depths. He struggled, kicking and thrashing but it was useless. It was always useless._

_Suddenly he was lifted out of the water, dangling upside-down by his ankle. More tentacles moved to wrap around his naked body. They drew him closer to_ it _._

_“Please no,” he whimpered. It was useless. He couldn’t escape and trying would get him nowhere._

_“Hello little one,” it said in a cheery voice. “You’re much too cute for your own good.”_

_It placed him on the ground in front of it. Its tentacles were holding him but not restraining him. He would’ve been able to escape its grasp if his body didn’t feel like it was made of jello. Not that there was anywhere he could go to get away from it. Other than the river and the small piece of ground beneath him they were surrounded by empty nothingness._

_“Please, I wanna go home.” His voice came out a choked whisper, barely even leaving his mouth._

_“Ah, but you are home, little one,” it said._

_“No, please no,” he tried to say. But what came out of his mouth instead was, “This is home now, I belong here.”_

_“Very good,” it praised him, stroking a tentacle down his spine. “Now I have a special treat for you. I’m going to make you work for it, okay?”_

_“Okay,” his body said against his will. His voice sounded eager to please it, as if this was something he actually wanted. And there was nothing he could to stop it._

_“I want you to beg for it, and do it like you mean it too,” his captor said._

_“I want it, please fuck me, please I want it,” his voice said._

_Sans shook, trying to move his hands to cover his mouth and stop such horrible awful things from coming out of it. His hands twitched slightly but that was it._

_He had no control. He couldn’t move or speak. He couldn’t even cry. He could only sit there and watch as his own body betrayed him and begged for his captor to rape him._

_“Please fuck me, I want you to fuck me,” his voice said, ignoring any attempt he made to shut up. He_ didn’t _want this, he wanted to go home. But contrary to what he wanted, his body spread his legs and formed his pussy, already wet with arousal._

_“You’re very cute when you beg like that,” his captor said. One of its tentacle rose from the water, it was hollow and tapered off into a close opening. It went between his legs and pushed into his pussy._

_“I want it, it feels good,” his voice said as the tentacle latched into place._

_Sans tried to scream and beg for this to stop. How could this happen to him? It wasn’t fair. He wanted to go home. But the only sound that he managed to force out of his mouth was a strangled squeak._

_“I want it, I deserve it, I belong here,” his voice said as the first bulge appeared in the tube, traveling towards his pussy._

_Sans tried to scream again. He tried to scramble away, deform his pussy, or at the very least close his legs. But his body wasn’t_ listening _. Instead he spread his legs a little further, summoning his ecto-body and womb._

_“_ Very _good job.” It sounded proud of him._

_“I’m a good pet, I want it.”_

_The egg reached his opening, stretching him out. It exited the ovipositor, pushing into the walls of his magic. It was gross and disgusting but his body didn’t even shudder as he watched it slide into his newly formed womb._

_“Oh, how nice.” His captor pet a tentacle over his belly. “Are you happy?”_

_Sans wanted to scream and thrash and cry but he was frozen in place. He was_ not _happy. How could this happen to him? How could he possibly be_ this _weak_ _and pathetic?_

_“Yeah, I’m happy.” His body nodded as the next egg entered him. He watched without crying or even shaking as it pushed into his magic before sliding into his womb alongside the first one. “I’m happy you grabbed me. I like being pregnant.”_

_Why wasn’t Papyrus here to save him? Why wasn’t he killing this thing to protect Sans? He’d promised he’d never let anything hurt Sans again. So, why wasn’t he here to save him?_

_“You’re much too cute for you good,” his captor said. It pet a tentacle over his belly as another egg slid in. “You really are perfect for this, you know that, right?”_

_“Yeah, I’m a good pet.” His head nodded and he felt his mouth twist into a smile._

_This wasn’t fair. How could his body_ want _this? Why couldn’t he just go home and escape this horrible awful place forever? Why couldn’t he just die instead?_

_It continued pumping its eggs into Sans, his belly stretching a bit more each one. The whole time his body acted like it wanted this, never once making any move to disrupt the process though he could’ve. His voice repeated over and over again how much he wanted it, how good it felt, how he deserved it, and eagerly agreeing with every single one of its prompts. While Sans just watched in horror and dread, internally begging and screaming for it to_ stop _. He’d give_ anything _for it to just_ stop _._

_But_ where _was Papyrus? Why wasn’t he protecting Sans like he’d promise he’d do? He never broke a promise before, so why wasn’t he here?_

_“We’re almost done, only three more left,” it said after what felt like_ hours _had gone by of it forcing its eggs into Sans._

_“I belong here, I’m happy, I’m excited to be a mommy,” his voice said with that horrible awful_ smile _as if he really did want this._

_He watched the last three as they entered him one at time, stretching out his pussy and sliding into his womb. Once the last one was all the way in, it pulled its ovipositor out. His womb sealed itself as his pussy deformed. He wanted to burst into tears and beg to go home but lacked any and all control of himself. He couldn’t even get tears of despair to form in his eyes._

_“I’m happy, I like it, I want it,” his body said, placing his hands to cradle his now very pregnant belly. The eggs were visible through his magic and the sight of them in there made Sans wish he could vomit. How could this happen to him again? It wasn’t fair._

_“Very good job, little one,” it said. It scooped him up to cradle him in its tentacles. It lovingly stroked and pet him, paying special attention to his pregnant belly._

_“I’m happy, this is home now,” Sans’ voice lied as his body relaxed in its grip despite his desire to do the exact opposite. He’d gladly throw himself into the empty darkness surrounding them if it meant this nightmare would end._

_“Sans, where are you?” That voice belonged to Papyrus! He was here to save Sans at last._

_“Oh, hey Pappy, nice of you to show up,” his captor said, turning to face Papyrus. “Good news, you’re going to be an uncle in a few months.” It shifted its hold on Sans so that his pregnant egg-filled belly would be on full display._

_Papyrus grimaced, frowning in disgust. He even took a small step back as if he were horrified by the sight._

_Sans wanted to beg and plead for Papyrus to take him away from here. He had_ promised _he’d protect Sans. He wanted to cry and reach out for Papyrus to save him and hold him and make all the bad things go away. He wanted to but he_ couldn’t _. He couldn’t move or even get one small plea to leave his mouth._

_“I’m excited to be a mommy,” were the words that left his mouth instead. “I like this, I want it. I’m a good pet. I’m happy.” His mouth_ twisted _into that smile again. How could he do this to himself? Rescue was_ right _fucking there but he couldn’t_ _do_ _a_ single _solitary_ _thing_ _about it._

_Papyrus grimaced deepened. “Why did I_ ever _put up with you?” he said with a growl. “You’ve been nothing but a fucking burden and now you_ want _this. After everything I’ve done for you? Fucking disgusting. I never would’ve fucking cared about you if I knew you were this much of a whore.”_

_“No Pappy, no,” he wanted to scream. He didn’t want this. He_ didn’t _want this! But his face stayed in that horrible awful wretched smile._

_“This is home now, I belong here,” his voice said instead. “I deserve this.”_

_“Have fun then,” Papyrus said with a derisive huff. “I’ll be better off without having to take care of your ungrateful ass anyway.” With that he disappeared with a small pop, leaving Sans alone in his new home with his captor._

Sans finally found his voice as he opened his mouth to scream at last. It was a wordless scream of anguish and despair that didn’t even come close to expressing how he felt. It was muffled by whatever damp thing his face was suddenly pressed into, his tears only making it damper.

He heaved in a breath, struggling and thrashing against whatever was constricting around him. “Help, please help,” he called out.

But nobody came.

He struggled and thrashed, wriggling and sobbing. Without warning, his body tipped over an edge and he was falling. He landed on the floor besides his bed. But he was finally free of the constricting blankets.

“A dream, just a dream,” he panted. Breathing fast and heavy, he disentangled himself further from the blankets. “Pappy!” he called out as loud as he could. He needed Papyrus to hold him and tell him that everything was all right.

But there was no answer.

He hugged himself as he curled up, pressing his forehead to the floor. Where was Papyrus? Why wasn’t he here? Had he really abandoned Sans? He’d promised he wouldn’t.

“Pappy!” Sans called again, straining his voice until it hurt.

Nothing but silence answered him.

“No, no, no, please no.” Sans pressed the heels of his hands to sides of his head. _Where_ was Papyrus? Sans _needed_ him _right_ now. _Had_ he finally got tired of taking care of Sans all the time even though he’d promised he wouldn’t? Or had something bad happened to him somehow?

Sans couldn’t breathe. No matter how fast or hard he sucked in air it wasn’t enough. He was _suffocating_ in his own room in the middle of the night, all alone.

He _needed_ it to stop. He needed _everything_ to stop. He couldn’t take it anymore, it was too much. The nightmares, being a gross disgusting whore, good for nothing but being a sex toy, and being so weak and pathetic. He needed it to all stop _right_ now.

The knife! If the knife could make the arousal go away maybe it could make everything else go away too.

With trembling hands that he could barely control, he reached under the bed, looking for it. _Where_ was it? He _needed_ it _right_ now.

His hand brushed against something hard. He grabbed it and pulled it out. The knife!


	5. Sorry

Even at an hour before midnight and closing time there were people at Muffet’s bar. Not the same ones, nor as many as Papyrus had been used to seeing back when he’d come here almost daily. Back when drinking away his worry and stress had been an option. Never a very good one granted, but the only person he’d been hurting had been himself.

But now, no matter how much he wished he could drink until he was unable feel anything, he couldn’t. Sans _needed_ him. Getting shitfaced drunk wasn’t going help Sans in any way and would most likely make things worse.

But that didn’t mean Papyrus couldn’t come here occasionally after Sans had gone to bed to take a bit of the edge off and try to think things through. Like trying to figure out why Sans had been acting a bit off the past few days. And why earlier when Sans had been sparring with Alphys after that first hit he sounded like he was pain, not just surprised like he’d claimed. Something was wrong. Or more wrong than usual anyway. But what was it? And how could Papyrus even try to help when Sans refused to even admit to the fact that he wasn’t okay?

Papyrus had been here, sitting and drinking as he ran those thoughts through his mind for a few hours now. The alcohol clouding his mind as time went on only making it harder to come up with an answer.

“How’s your brother doing?” Muffet asked as she refilled his drink again. She, and everyone else, didn’t know what had happened to Sans but it was impossible to keep how damaged he was a secret. So, everyone knew something _bad_ had happened to him.

“Not good.” Papyrus sighed. For some reason, every time he came here she eventually ended up asking that, though the answer always remained the same.

“That’s too bad.” Muffet’s face was always hard to read, even for Papyrus, but she maybe looked like she might feel a little sorry for Sans.

“Do you know of a way I might be able to help him? It’s just… he’s not doing well and I’m trying but I don’t know what do.” Papyrus had talked to her about Sans before, never giving away any specifics, but had never downright asked for her for advice. But being a bartender she probably dealt with depressed people all the time, so she might know something that would help.

Muffet took a few seconds to think before replying. “You could always bring him here and for a few drinks, that makes you feel better.”

“I’m _not_ going to encourage my brother to become an alcoholic.” Alcohol only made things seem better for a short time. It never actually helped and things were often worse the following day when waking with a hangover. He wasn’t going to let Sans fall into the same trap he had.

“It was a thought. Unlike you he’d probably pay his tab on time,” Muffet said with a shrug. “Maybe try getting him out of the house more often. Letting him wallow in his misery probably isn’t good for him.”

“I guess I could try that. But he doesn’t ever _want_ to do anything.” It was a struggle to even get him out of bed most days.

“Of course he doesn’t, whatever happened to him made him depressed. You have to push him some or he’s just going to lie around all day feeling sorry for himself.”

Sans had certainly been doing a lot of that lately. Maybe pushing him to do things was the right choice. Papyrus already had to do that to get him to eat and Alphys had done it to get him to train with her, so maybe he could convince Sans to do other things too. And who knows, it might end up working.

 “Uh… okay, I can try that,” he said. Why hadn’t he asked Muffet for advice before this?

Muffet hummed her acknowledgement as she reached for his now empty glass to refill it.

“No thanks,” Papyrus said before she could. “I should probably head home.” He could stay until midnight when the bar closed and had done so before, it’s not like Sans was going to wake him up at the crack of dawn tomorrow like he used to do. But having come up with something that might help Sans, Papyrus wanted to go check up on him. He didn’t like leaving him alone for long periods of time anyway, even if he was sleeping. “I’ll uh see ya some other night. Thanks for the advice though.”

He teleported home, landing in the living room. The T.V. was off and Sans wasn’t on the couch. Papyrus had caught him like that a few times after returning from his occasional visit to Muffet’s. He’d always say he’d had a nightmare but didn’t ever want to talk about it.

Swaying a little on his feet, Papyrus ascended the stairs. He was careful to be quiet even though he knew Sans probably wouldn’t hear him. First, he headed for Sans’ room. He always made sure to check on Sans before heading to bed himself, especially when he stayed up late like this.

Even before opening it he could hear indistinct sounds coming from other side. Worried now, he opened the door and flipped on the light. “Sans are you…” He froze, his muddled mind taking a few seconds to process the sight in front of him.

Sans was kneeling on the floor beside the bed. He was hunched over, _digging_ a knife into his arm. Magic ‘blood’ was running down both of his arms from several _deep_ cuts, dripping down to the blanket beneath him.

Papyrus instantly teleported to crouch beside him. “Sans!” he said loudly, trying to snap him out of whatever this was.

No response. Tears were streaming down Sans’ face from empty eye sockets as he frantically forced the knife into his arm.

“Sans,” Papyrus said again. He grabbed Sans wrist, twisting the knife from his hand. “Stop it.”

Sans made an unintelligible sound of distress as he tried to pull away, still not really acknowledging Papyrus’ presence. What was happening? Why was he like this? And gosh, there was a lot of blood leaking from those cuts.

 Sans struggled and writhed as Papyrus tried to wrap his arms around him to pick him up. “Sans!” He was starting to get desperate now. He needed Sans to calm down so he could help him.

Sans made more wordless sounds of distress as he reached desperately for where the knife had fallen on the ground. He struggled and writhed as Papyrus pulled him back. He was breathing even faster now than he had when Papyrus had first come in, tears still spilling down his face.

“It’s okay Sans, it’s okay. Calm down.” Papyrus pulled Sans close to his chest, hugging him tight. But that only seemed to make it worse. Sobbing and still not saying anything, Sans pushed against Papyrus’ chest as hard as he could, trying to get away.

Having _no_ idea what to do, Papyrus held onto him, pulling him closer. Holding him close had always soothed him before. So, why wasn’t it working this time?

“It’s okay Sans. Calm down, I’m here. Everything’s gonna be okay.” He tried to keep his voice steady and calm but couldn’t keep the tremor of fear out of it.

Sans didn’t seem to hear him as he continued struggling, weaker than before as if he were rapidly losing strength. His small body heaved with each too fast, too shallow breath he sucked in. What was Papyrus supposed to do here?

Without much warning, Sans went limp. His struggles ceasing as all tension left his body. For half a horrifying second, it seemed like he’d stopped breathing too, as if he were about to turn to dust. But no, he’d just stopped hyperventilating.

“Sans?” Papyrus pulled Sans close, cradling him in his arms as worry thrummed through his soul.

There was no response. Sans had passed out. Was that good or bad? Papyrus didn’t have time to figure that out right now, he had to tend to Sans’ injuries first.

He teleported them to the bathroom. He gently placed Sans down on the counter, leaning back against the wall.

Ignoring everything else for now, he examined Sans’ arms. They were _covered_ in his leaking magic. There so _much_ of it, it was impossible to tell the full extent of his injuries.

They had nowhere near enough gold to pay for a healer and they didn’t operate in the middle of the night anyway. So, Papyrus had to take care of this by himself. That was fine, he’d dealt with injuries, both minor and major, on himself and Sans before. He could do this. Though those had always been injuries taken from someone trying to kill them, not…

Shaking, Papyrus grabbed a washcloth and quickly wet underneath the sink. He then started cleaning Sans’ wounds. “Fuck, I’m so sorry Sans,” he muttered mostly to himself. How could he have let this happen? He should’ve been here for Sans but he hadn’t been. If he hadn’t come home when he did… “Sorry Sans, sorry.”

Cleaning the cuts revealed the full extent of Sans’ injuries. There were several deep vertical cuts running down almost the full length of his forearms, piercing about halfway through his bones and leaking purple magic. Some of the smaller cuts though were several days old. There were even the tattered remains of a bandage that would’ve easily been covered by Sans’ gloves.

“Oh gosh Sans, fuck. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Papyrus’ eyes blurred with tears as he dug in the medicine cabinet for the disinfectant. He pulled it out, pouring some onto another washcloth before applying it liberally to Sans’ injuries. It immediately starting working, cleaning and slowing the leakage of magic.

“Sans, I’m sorry, so sorry.” Papyrus dug out the roll of bandages next. It was smaller than it should be. Choosing not to think about that, he started wrapping Sans’ arms up.

“I’m so sorry Sans,” he whispered for the umpteenth time despite how useless it was. No amount of apologizing would ever help Sans or make anything even a tiny bit better for him. No amount of apologizing would ever change the fact that Sans had been trying to…

“Fuck Sans, please be all right,” Papyrus begged as he finished bandaging Sans’ arms. “Please, please be all right.” Losing Sans would be too much.

Papyrus stepped back to look Sans over again. He was still unconscious, his head lolling to the side and his fanged mouth hanging slightly open. The tears on his face had dried, leaving nothing but streaks behind.

“I’m so sorry.” Papyrus teleported quickly to grab the small towel in the kitchen. After wetting it and squeezing out most of the water, he gently wiped away the tear stains on Sans’ face. “I’m sorry Sans, I’m sorry.”

Now the question was, had Sans lost enough magic for it to be dangerous? Or would he be okay after a few days of rest and food? If he’d lost too much he could still die if he didn’t get a magic transfusion.

“I’m sorry about this, but I gotta do it. Just don’t wake up until I’m done, okay?” Papyrus hovered his hand over Sans’ chest, pulling his soul out with a ping.

Its normal purple glow was almost nonexistent. And its surface looked more grey than it did white. The most worrying thing though was the tiny crack running down from its tip. It wasn’t bigger than a centimeter or two but its presence froze Papyrus’ own soul.

“I’m so sorry Sans.” Fighting tears, Papyrus gently cupped Sans’ soul in his hands. He started channeling magic into it, focusing on his intent to heal Sans. A direct soul-to-soul connection would be faster and more efficient but he could _never_ do that without Sans’ express permission. Not after that _abomination_ had soul-raped him.

Papyrus stood there, crying and channeling his magic into Sans’ soul as he murmured useless apologies over and over for what felt like hours. In reality it couldn’t have been more than thirty minutes. But it worked. As time went on the colour of Sans’ soul faded back to white. And its glow returned, its colour temporarily marred by the burnt orange of Papyrus’ own magic.

The crack didn’t go away though. It never would. But it wasn’t going to get any bigger either… (for now).

By the time, Papyrus released Sans’ soul he’d channeled a good deal of his own magic into it, leaving him feeling lightheaded and exhausted. Which was only worsened by the alcohol he’d consumed earlier.

He watched as Sans’ soul drifted back into Sans’ chest where it belonged. Luckily, Sans hadn’t stirred through any of that. If he had woken up his reaction probably wouldn’t have been good. There was no way he’d be comfortable with someone, even Papyrus, touching his soul after everything he’d been through.

With an exhausted sigh, Papyrus scooped up Sans up in his arms again, holding his limp body as close as he could. Too tired to teleport, he walked to Sans room. The door was still open from earlier.

He froze when he entered though. A good deal of Sans’ magic blood had soaked into the blanket he’d been sitting on. Some of it had even made it to the floor.

“Ah fuck Sans,” Papyrus said. “I’m sorry.” How many times had he apologized to Sans tonight? More times than he could count. But it didn’t matter as none of them would ever change anything, even if Sans had been awake to hear them.

With a sigh, Papyrus turned to head further down the hallway to his own room. Not wanting to let go of Sans for even a second, he was forced to teleport to the other side of the door. Even that left him reeling with exhaustion. But he pushed past it to walk to his bed and gently place Sans on it.

He pulled the blanket up around Sans, tucking him in. “Be right back,” he whispered.

He then dragged his feet back to Sans’ room. As tired as he was, he needed to clean up the mess in there before he could go to sleep. Sans didn’t need to be reminded of what had happened tomorrow morning. And he also didn’t need to clean it up himself.

So, despite feeling like he was about to collapse, Papyrus set to work cleaning. First, he picked up the knife. It was covered with Sans’ spilled magic, the feel of it on his hand made him almost ill. Not wanting to ever touch or think about it ever again, he threw it out an open window.

After he washed his hands, he turned back to the rest of the room. He didn’t want to think about anything having to do with this incident ever again and would much rather just allow himself to pass out and sleep for a _very_ long time. But that wasn’t an option.

He threw the blanket along with his bloodstained shirt into the washing machine. Some of the blood had leaked _through_ the blanket, staining the floor below. With an exhausted sigh, he set to trying to scrub it out.

He gave up half an hour later. It was never going to come out. The only way to get rid of it would be to replace the carpet and he was _way_ too exhausted for that. His shirt and the blanket were most likely permanently stained too, though he couldn’t be sure until he took them out of the wash tomorrow.

He then went back to his own room. Sans was still asleep on the bed. At least he looked peaceful. For now anyway, that wasn’t going to last for long, it never did.

Papyrus could take him back to his room and transport the blanket with him. But he wanted to stay close by and be there when he woke up.

With a tired sigh, he grabbed a chair and placed it by the bed. He slumped on it as he looked at Sans sleeping. “I’m so sorry Sans,” he whispered, already starting to drift off. He wished with all his soul he knew how to make it better, or even a little easier.


	6. Promise

Sans slowly blinked open his eyes, unsure what was wrong at first. Didn’t Papyrus normally wake him up for a late-morning breakfast? Had Sans somehow gotten up before him like he’d used to do?

But the more he woke up the more he realized that that wasn’t the only thing wrong. He lifted his arms in the air to look at them. They were wrapped up in a bunch of bandages. They hurt too, with a dull familiar ache he recognized from when he’d had injuries before. What had happened last night?

He let his hands fall back to the bed as he turned his head to look around the room. Papyrus was slumped on a chair beside the bed, fast asleep. He looked _exhausted_ , with a small worried frown on his face. He always looked like that these days. He was worried and sad _all_ the time. And it was entirely Sans’ fault.

Papyrus would’ve been a thousand times better off if he had never rescued Sans.

Sans had never had a thought like that while fully awake before but he couldn’t deny the truth of it. Papyrus had thought he was dead, he would’ve grieved for a while but would’ve eventually moved on. But now he was stuck taking care of and worrying about Sans all the time. And that most likely wasn’t going to change any time soon. And even Sans could see the toll all that worry and stress was starting to take him. They couldn’t go on like this much longer.

Blinking back unshed tears, Sans pushed those thoughts aside. He instead examined the rest of the room. It was Papyrus’ room. Why was Sans sleeping in here? It was of course a mess. There were clothes strewn everywhere along with various other things, mostly empty beer bottles and discarded cigarette packs. The self-sustaining trash tornado was still chugging along in the corner.

How many times had Sans demanded Papyrus get rid of that thing? And how many times had Papyrus promised he’d do so only to rebuild it the very next day? How did he even make it? And more to the point why?

It and the rest of the mess didn’t bother Sans anymore. He didn’t have enough energy to care. It’s not like it made any real difference anyway.

Sighing, he looked up at the ceiling above him. Despite having just woken up he still felt tired. If only he could go to sleep and stay asleep forever.

Maybe he should get up and make breakfast for Papyrus for once. That was the least he could do after everything Papyrus continued to do for him. But… even getting out of bed seemed like a lot of work. And after cooking he’d be obligated to eat some of it. And he was _not_ in the mood to deal with what would happen after.

So, he just lay there, doing nothing and staring up at the ceiling. Maybe tomorrow he could try to do something for Papyrus. But not right now, he wasn’t in the mood.

“Sans?” Papyrus said in a whisper after maybe half an hour had gone by.

“Hey Pappy.” Sans turned his head to look at him.

Papyrus looked like he was trying to smile but his expression was too sad and worried. “How ya feeling?” he asked.

“Okay, I guess.” Sans shrugged. He didn’t really feel anything other tired and guilty about making Papyrus sad. “What’s this about?” He gestured to the bandages on his arms. There was no doubt Papyrus knew about his cutting thing now, but the bandages were too extensive to cover just that. “And why are we in your room?”

“You don’t remember what happened last night?”

“Not really.” Thinking about it, the only thing Sans remembered from last night had been waking up from a nightmare and that Papyrus hadn’t shown up when Sans had called for him. He must’ve been out of the house for some reason. And that he’d been filled with an overwhelming urge to make everything stop.

Oh gosh, had he tried to… kill himself? He did vaguely remember looking for the knife, thinking that if it could make his gross arousal go away it might be able to make everything else go away to. That would explain the pain and bandages on his arms.

“You were having some kind of… episode or something. I don’t really know. You had a knife and you were… I think you might’ve been trying to…” Papyrus hesitated, all but outright confirming Sans’ suspicions.

“I’m sorry,” Sans said, tears filling his eyes. How could he do that something like that to Papyrus?

“No, Sans, it’s okay,” Papyrus said. “If anyone should be saying ‘sorry’ it’s me. I was at Muffet’s last night, if I hadn’t returned home when I did…”

Fighting tears, Sans pushed himself up into a sitting position, his legs dangling over the edge of the bed as he faced Papyrus. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He really hadn’t been, he didn’t even really remember it all that well. If he had been thinking he would’ve realized how sad that would’ve made Papyrus. And he already made Papyrus sad more than enough without adding that to it.

“It’s… okay.” Papyrus sighed, giving Sans a mournful look. Did he know that he was the _only_ reason Sans didn’t want to kill himself? “But uh… some of those cuts didn’t look like they were from last night.”

Sans froze, unsure what to say. He’d been doing such a good job keeping it a secret he’d never once considered what he’d say if Papyrus ever found out. But there was no use trying to deny it.

“Yeah, some of them aren’t.” Looking down at his feet, he felt Papyrus’ sad worried gaze boring into him as he spoke. “Pain makes it go away.” Maybe if Papyrus knew why Sans did it he wouldn’t be so upset about it.

“Makes what go away?”

“After I eat when I get all… you know. Pain makes that go away.”

Papyrus sighed again. Why did everything Sans did have to make him sad? “I guess that makes sense but… it’s not something you should be doing.”

Sans’ eyes filled with tears as he squeezed his hands into fists on his lap. This is one of the reasons why he hadn’t wanted Papyrus to find out, because he’d want to make Sans stop. “But Pappy it… I can’t… every time I touch myself I always end up thinking about… and I can’t take it anymore. I just want it to stop.” It wasn’t ever going to stop as long as Sans kept indulging himself like a gross whore and letting his body continue to associate eating with sex. Or more accurately, rape. Horrible gross disgusting rape that part of him _wanted_.

“I know.” Papyrus sounded almost as full of despair as Sans felt. “But hurting yourself isn’t the answer.”

“Then what _is_ the answer?”

“I don’t know. But doing _that_ ,” Papyrus gestured to Sans’ bandaged wrists. “isn’t going to help. So, can ya _please_ promise not to do it again?”

Of course, Papyrus was going to ask him to make a promise like that. It wasn’t fair. That was the only way Sans had found to control his disgusting urges and now Papyrus was taking it away from him.

Sans sighed, bowing his head in defeat. “I… promise I won’t do it again.” Refusing and doing it again anyway would’ve made Papyrus sadder than he already was. _Everything_ Sans did made Papyrus sad and upset. Why did it have to be like that? Why couldn’t Sans just stop being a broken mess? The least he could do is fake it better, but he didn’t know how.

“Thank you,” Papyrus said with a relieved sigh. “But Sans, I wanna apologize. I wish I knew how to help you but…”

“It’s fine,” Sans cut him off. “You do help.” He hated the look of guilt and sorrow on Papyrus’ face. None of it was Papyrus’ fault so why did he have to feel so bad about it?

They sat in silence for the next couple of minutes. Sans didn’t know what to say and Papyrus clearly didn’t either. So, they just sat there, feeling tired and miserable for a little while.

“Sans I…” Papyrus eventually broke the silence. “I’m so glad that you didn’t… that you’re… still alive.” His voice broke as tears formed in his eyes and started slowing rolling down his face.

Sans flinched. Why couldn’t he just _not_ be broken? Why did he have to hurt Papyrus so much? “I’m sorry,” he said. He slipped off the bed and crawled onto Papyrus’ lap to hug him tight, resting his face on Papyrus’ shoulder. “Doing that was selfish of me. I shouldn’t do that to you, I’m sorry.”

Shoulders starting to shake with sobs, Papyrus hugged Sans almost tight enough to hurt. “I can’t lose you, Sans. You’re my baby brother, you mean so much to me and… I can’t go through that again. Please I… can’t bear the thought of losing you again, please.”

“You won’t.” Sans was crying now too. “I promise I’ll never do anything like that again, okay?” He couldn’t do that to Papyrus, not after everything he’d already put him through. Why that hadn’t occurred to him last night was beyond him but it should’ve.

Papyrus nodded. “Thanks.” He was shaking and crying, clinging to Sans as if his life depended on it.

Sans just held him, taking his own comfort in their closeness. Ignoring for now that Papyrus was this upset solely because of him. He had to do something to start getting better, or at least learn how to fake it. Dragging Papyrus down with his misery wasn’t fair or right.


	7. Deserved?

Sans jolted awake to the feel of Papyrus shifting him in his arms to cradle him. He’d apparently fallen asleep while they’d been hugging. He didn’t open his eyes or let on that he was awake as he felt Papyrus stand up, holding him close. It was comforting and part of him just wanted to go back to sleep like this.

“I know you’re not gonna like this but…” Papyrus whispered, leaving off with a sigh as he started moving. What did he mean by that? Sans was too tired and relaxed to let himself worry about it right now.

He carried Sans downstairs to the living room and placed him on the couch, his head resting on the armrest. Sans waited until his back was turned to watch him exit to the kitchen. Which, considering the fact that it was past lunch time, meant he was probably going to cook something and expect Sans to eat it.

Sans groaned quietly as he flopped back onto the couch. He was _not_ in the mood for that. Except for the fact that he was starting to feel weak with hunger. He hadn’t eaten in a while and what had happened last night had taken a lot out of him. So, he _needed_ to eat, he just didn’t want to.

There was nothing he could do about that though. There was never anything he could he could do about anything. He was powerless in every way. If it wasn’t for Papyrus protecting him somebody would’ve killed him by now. So, he was left lying there listening to the sounds coming from the kitchen as Papyrus cooked.

It was kind of amazing how much work Papyrus had been doing around the house lately, he’d never done that before. He had lazed around and did nothing most of the time while Sans did all of the work. Now their roles were reversed in a lot of ways. Only Papyrus never yelled at Sans or got mad at him for being lazy, like Sans had done to him.

Maybe Sans had deserved to be kidnapped and turned into a sex slave. He’d been awfully mean and rude to everyone, especially Papyrus. Maybe all that shit he’d been through and this following depression was his just dues for having been such an awful mean person.

“Sans are you okay?”

Sans jolted as he realized Papyrus had reentered the room. “I uh…” He blinked his eyes as he realized he was crying too. “Do I deserve this?”

“What?” Papyrus looked concerned as he moved to sit beside Sans.

“Everything that happened to me, did I deserve it?”

Papyrus froze for half a second, a look of shock and sadness coming over his face. “No, Sans, no. You didn’t deserve that,” he said with conviction layered with sadness. “You didn’t deserve _any_ of what happened to you and you don’t deserve any of the shit you’re going through now either. Don’t _ever_ think that.”

Sans sighed, turning his head away as another tear rolled down his face. He shouldn’t have asked that. Of course, Papyrus had answered the way he had, he was Sans’ brother. Instead of having his question answered all he'd done was make Papyrus upset and worried. Which was something Sans should stop doing so often.

“Sans,” Papyrus said, drawing Sans’ gaze back to him. “Do you… wanna talk about it? Ya know, like get it off your chest or something. I won’t get mad or upset, I promise. I won’t even say anything if ya don’t want me to. I wanna help.”

Sans sighed. “No, thanks.” Papyrus wouldn’t get mad but he would get upset. Sans talking to him would only make him even sadder and more worried than he already was on a daily basis. Which wouldn’t be fair to him.

“I… okay.” Papyrus sighed. “But I’ll always be here if ya ever change your mind.”

“Thanks.” Sans did his best to fake a small smile. He wasn’t sure how genuine it looked but he’d probably have to practice it in the mirror later if he ever wanted to fool Papyrus with it. “You being there for me is more than enough. So, don’t feel bad about not being able to help.” Even if his smile was false, his words weren’t.

“Okay.” Papyrus sighed again. No matter how many times Sans told him that just his being there helped, he never seemed to believe it. “But uh… I know ya probably not in mood but I made lunch. And I know my cooking’s not the greatest but… you should come eat anyway.”

“Please no.” Sans was unable to even force a smile anymore. “I can’t take that right now. I’ll eat later, just not right now, please.”

Papyrus let out a heavy sigh, turning his head away from Sans. “I know, but ya gotta eat, especially after… what happened last night. I know it’s hard but…”

“I know.” Sans nodded in despair. Papyrus was right. After what happened last night Sans’ magic stores were low. He needed to eat to restore them, which would help him heal faster. But Sans didn’t want to deal with what would happen after, not now or ever again. There was nothing he could do about it though. There never was.

So, he allowed Papyrus to scoop him up in his arms and carry him into the kitchen. On the table, set in two spots across from each other, were two bowls of instant noodles. Unfortunately, Papyrus being a rather poor cook and Sans being reluctant to have anything to do with food, meant they often ended up eating simple easy to make meals. Which made the whole ordeal that much worse.

“I’m sorry,” Papyrus whispered as he placed Sans on one of the chairs at the table. He then walked around to sit on the opposite side.

Sans met his worried expectant gaze, _knowing_ he was right but wishing he wasn’t. Unfortunately, the sight and smell of ‘real’ food made Sans’ hunger worse. And refusing to eat or even complaining more would only make Papyrus sad as well as get him nowhere.

So, with a sigh, he picked up the fork and started eating. He didn’t say anything or even glance up at Papyrus, who was no doubt watching him with a worried expression as he always did during meal times. He just ate as fast as he could, not caring about how bland it tasted.

Afterward his body assumed, as it always did, that it was time for sex. Four months of being raped after eating and two more months of touching himself while fantasizing about that rape, made it impossible not to. And he couldn’t do anything to change it.

He groaned, fighting tears as his magic automatically formed into a pussy in his pelvis. How was it possible that he’d once prided himself for his control over his magic? Heck, how was it even possible that he’d once _had_ control over his magic at all?

“You okay Sans?” Papyrus asked, giving Sans the same sad worried look he always did.

“You know the answer to that,” Sans said. Why did Papyrus even bother to ask anymore? Sans clearly wasn’t okay and he was only going to lie and say that he was. So, asking accomplished nothing.

Sans pushed himself to his feet, bowing his head to avoid looking at Papyrus anymore. “I’m going to go lie down for a bit.” That was the euphemism he used to say he was going to go indulge in his disgusting habits.


	8. Soul

Once he made his way upstairs to his room he closed and locked the door. Locking it didn’t do anything, Papyrus wouldn’t come in anyway. But it was still symbolic of not wanting to be disturbed.

He froze as he turned to head towards the bed. There was a dark splotch of something on the carpet beside it. He recognized the look of a magic stain, he had been cutting himself for the past few days and some had gotten on the carpet after all. But _this_ was far bigger than those.

“Did I really…” He looked down at his bandaged arms again. Yeah sure, they hurt a fair amount but had he really cut himself up _that_ badly? How could he not remember doing that? And how could he be up and functioning after losing that much magic? Unless he’d gotten magic from someone else. But that would mean they would’ve had to have _touched_ his soul.

Shaking, Sans summoned his soul. It hovered in the air in front of him, glowing with gross arousal. But its normal purple colour was marred by the familiar burnt orange of Papyrus’ magic. Meaning, Papyrus had… touched his soul.

The only other person to have touched his soul had been his captor. He could still remember what it had felt like when it had forced arousal into him and all those times he’d _given_ it his soul so it could renew its magic block. And… when its soul had overpowered his own, erasing his mind and making him _enjoy_ it hurting him.

How could Papyrus do that to him? Why would he betray Sans like that?

“No, no, that’s not right.” Sans shook his head, blinking away tears of betrayal. “That’s not right.” Papyrus wouldn’t do that. Papyrus was his big brother and had promised to protect him. He wouldn’t have touched Sans’ soul unless he had no other choice. Like if Sans had been on the brink of death from magic loss and the only way to save him had been a transfusion of magic.

Shuddering, Sans pulled his arms in to hug himself as he took another look at his soul. There was tiny crack running down from the top. That kind of thing only happened when someone was starting to fall down. He really _had_ been about to die and most likely would’ve if it hadn’t been for Papyrus.

That realization filled him with equal amounts of relief and dismay. Papyrus _had_ only touched Sans’ soul because he had to, _but_ he shouldn’t have had to in the first place. Sans shouldn’t have tried to kill himself. He was a real selfish piece of garbage to have almost hurt Papyrus like that, especially after everything Papyrus did for him.

Blinking back tears, Sans forced his mind away from such things. What was done was done, he couldn’t take back last night no matter how much he wished he could. Dwelling on how selfish he’d been wouldn’t fix anything.

Taking a deep breath, he reached out a tentative finger to touch his soul along the crack but paused when it was mere inches away. He couldn’t touch it, not just the crack but his entire soul. The thought of doing so was repulsive. Like if he touched it, it would be like when his captor had. That made no sense, but feelings weren’t always logical.

So, with a shaky sigh of relief, he allowed his soul to fade back into his chest. He didn’t even want to see it or its visual representation of his disgusting arousal anymore. Not to mention the crack, a testament to his selfishness and how close he'd come to hurting Papyrus.

He then finally moved to lie down on the bed, collapsing onto it sideways. He curled up, hugging his pillow to his chest. His arousal was still there, demanding his attention. His soul being out seemed to have only made it worse.

But he wasn’t going to touch himself this time. It was way past time the he stop letting his body associate eating with sex. And he’d never been able to finish without his imagination going to places it shouldn’t. His fingers just weren’t enough for that.

He closed his eyes tight, trying not feel the throbbing warmth in his pelvis. Instead he focused on the dull ache of his injured forearms. Unfortunately, even with the pressure from hugging the pillow, they didn’t hurt nearly enough to drown out his arousal. Meaning he was just going to have to lay here until his arousal went away on its own, no matter how much time that took.

He moaned as he rolled over onto his other side, still hugging the pillow tight. As with most things, the more he tried to not think about it the more it was on the forefront of his mind.

He briefly considered dropping to the floor to pull the knife out from under the bed. But if Papyrus found out, as he most likely would at some point, he’d be sad and upset again. Besides the knife wouldn’t be there anymore. He’d brought it out last night and there was no way Papyrus would’ve put it back.

He could maybe bite his arms instead. His teeth were kind of sharp and if he bit down on one of his injuries he’d probably be in enough pain to make his arousal go away. But… even if that wasn’t with a knife it still counted as hurting himself, which he’d promised Papyrus he wouldn’t do. And breaking that promise would not only make Papyrus sad should he ever find out about it but it might also set a precedent that might lead to him breaking the other promise he’d made. Which left him with no choice but to lie here and wait.

It wasn’t even five minutes before he was squirming uncomfortably. His willpower having been dashed to pieces during his months as a sex toy, he’d never once been able to force himself to wait until his arousal faded. It would undoubtedly go away eventually if he could just muster up enough stubborn patience to wait it out, but he’d never been able to.

He _needed_ some kind of stimulation. It would feel good and he’d done it lots of times before so would it really make that much of a difference? He was still a gross disgusting whore regardless of anything else.  And he was _so_ tired, both mentally and physically. He couldn’t take a nap when he felt like this.

Maybe he could stop indulging himself tomorrow instead.

There had been a time when he would’ve had enough self-control to say ‘no’ to that thought, probably wouldn’t have even had it in the first place. But his pussy _ached_ with its need for stimulation, for something long and thick to thrust into it.

“I need…” he moaned to himself, squeezing his legs tight together. Lying here, doing nothing was like torture, he needed to do something. His moments of gross arousal like this were the only times he had a strong urge to do anything. How sad and fucked up was that?

“Fuck,” he groaned. Tomorrow, he’d stop indulging his disgusting habits tomorrow. One more time wasn’t going to make a difference at this point.

He released the pillow and positioned it under his head as he rolled onto his back. “Last time,” he promised to himself as he lowered a hand to his pelvis.

He spread his legs a little as he slipped his hand underneath his pants. He threw his other arm over his eyes, closing them tight. He slid his fingers against his warm slick magic, rubbing at his clit as he slipped them inside. He wished it was something longer and thicker thrusting into him instead. His fingers could never go deep enough nor could they ever stretch and fill him in the way he so desperately needed and wanted.

“I want it, it feels good,” he moaned. He thrusted his fingers in and out of himself, imagining something long and thick pounding into him. And how good it would feel inside him as it stretched and filled him perfectly with each thrust.

“I like it, I want it.” He pressed his fingers as deep into his warm wet magic as they could go.

He kept that up for a while. He had a lot of practice with this, so it wasn’t that long before he brought himself to climax, imagining that thick _something_ swelling as it released inside him. He moaned loudly, arching his back as the walls of his pussy clamped down around his fingers.

Coming down though brought him back to his senses, as it always did. Tears filled his eyes as he moved his arm to look up at the ceiling. Why did his mind always have to turn off and go to his rapist? Why couldn’t he take care of it without thinking about that?

Tears leaking down his face, he pulled his hand out of his pants and dispelled the magic making up his pussy. He stood up, refusing to look at his hands with proof of how gross and disgusting he was. He ran to the bathroom at the end of the hall, closing and locking the door before hurriedly washing his hands.

He whimpered as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was a _mess_ with tears running down his face and clothes wrinkled from having worn them for three days straight now. His old self would’ve been disgusted. Heck, he _was_ disgusted, hard not to be considering what he’d just done.

He looked so weak and broken where once he’d been able to look in the mirror and think of himself as handsome. _Had_ he ever really been handsome or had that just been his self-conceited imagination? Either way he _hated_ looking in the mirror these days. In fact, this was the first time in more than a week since he’d done so. He wished he hadn’t.

Once he’d scrubbed his hands as clean as he they could get he ran back to his room. He wanted desperately to lie down and take a nap but after lunch was when they went to go visit the octopus babies. And afterward he’d have that promised training session with Alphys.

He groaned at the thought, tears forming in eyes. He didn’t want to do that. He was too tired and just wanted to go back to sleep. But… he had to get better. If he didn’t, Papyrus would continue to be sad and miserable forever and it would be his fault. Getting better unfortunately meant he couldn’t lie around and do nothing, no matter how exhausted he was. Besides sleeping often brought nightmares.

So, he forced himself to change into some clean clothes instead of collapsing in despair on the bed. He pulled on an often-forgotten grey and dark purple hoodie with long baggie sleeves to make sure the bandages on his arms would be hidden. He used to hate wearing such things but didn’t care anymore. He was just glad he could wear clothes at all.

He then dragged his feet out of his room and down the stairs. “Pappy?” he said. Normally Papyrus was standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting to teleport them to Undyne’s place. But this time he wasn’t.

Sans froze as brief flash of panic shot through him. Why would Papyrus not be here? Maybe he was in the kitchen. Sans fast walked over to check, nope. He took a breath, intending to call out but stopped when he finally spotted Papyrus sprawled on the couch. He was fast asleep, his chest rising and fall in a gentle rhythm.

Sans almost went over to wake him up but didn’t. Papyrus was exhausted from taking care of and worrying about Sans all the time, he deserved a nap. Sans could go to Undyne’s and then Alphys by himself. The walk might even do him some good.

Sans groaned softly to himself as he made his to the door and opened it. He didn’t want to leave, especially by himself, and walk all that way. But doing things he had no desire to do was nothing new.


	9. Alone

Outside the air was cold, as it always was in Snowdin. Sans’ boots crunched softly in the snow as he walked down the street. He hadn’t been outside without Papyrus accompanying him since he’d been rescued. Being so now might not be a good idea but he didn’t care all that much.

He paused when he was passing by Muffet’s bar. He used to go in there quite often to drag Papyrus out. Papyrus had always gone there to get drunk and forget about his worries. Sans used to scold him for that, saying alcohol wasn’t going to fix anything. But maybe fixing things hadn’t been the point. Maybe the point had been to forget, even if it was only for a short time. Forgetting sounded really good right about now.

Sans took a hesitate step closer to the entrance. He shouldn’t, he had places to be and things to do. He took another step closer anyway. Drinking wouldn’t solve any of his problems but…

He was opening the door and stepping inside even before he’d consciously made the decision to do so. The low murmur of conversation came to a halt as the door swung shut behind him, everyone turning to look at him. He saw several people point at him and whisper something to their companions, some responded with laughs others with looks of pity.

The problem with living in a small town like Snowdin was everyone knew everyone else. And Sans had been _very_ well known around these parts because of his loud cocky attitude. So, everyone in this room knew him on some level. They all knew how strong he used to be, how arrogant and sure of himself he’d been. Meaning they also knew that he’d been broken even if they didn’t know how or why.

“Oh, hey Sans.” Muffet smiled at him from her place behind her bar. “It’s unusual to see you out and about these days. Why don’t you come sit over here and I’ll fix up a drink for you?”

“Uh…” That is what he’d come in here for. But he found himself shrinking beneath the weight of everyone’s stares. Some people looked at him with pity, others with scorn, some with nothing but curiosity. But they were _all_ looking at him.

“N-no thanks,” he stammered already pushing the door open behind him as he reversed back outside. He didn’t even wait until the door had swung all the way shut before he resumed fast walking down the way he’d been headed before.

“Okay, dumb idea,” he whispered to himself. If he wanted to get drunk he’d have to do so somewhere else. Somewhere where he hadn’t been so well known before he’d been broken.

As he walked he ignored everyone else he passed by and the various kinds of looks they gave him. Luckily, the dogs were on sentry duty right now. They’d been the most persistent about trying to find out what had happened to him. They’d gotten all up in his face about it the last time he’d been out of the house. Papyrus had had to shoo them off by threatening to hit them with a Blaster.

He walked all the way to Undyne’s place, staring at his feet the whole time. Still recovering from last night and no longer used to walking such distances, he was exhausted by the time he reached it. He did his best to push past it though. He could’ve taken the ferry to make the trip faster and easier but he couldn’t bear to be that close to any type of river.

Undyne had already left, as she occasionally was anyway. But it didn’t matter, she’d given Sans a spare key to get into her backyard a while ago.

He opened the gate and closed it behind him. Even before he turned to look at the babies, they started greeting him with a chorus of ‘Mama’. Unlike literally everyone else, they were always happy and excited by his presence. They never looked at him with sorrow or pity but with happiness and joy instead.

“Hey guys.” He turned to face them with a false smile and cheery voice. Too young to know he was faking it, they responded with enthusiasm.

Taking a deep breath Sans forced himself to take several steps closer to them. His feet felt like they were made of lead, each step harder to take than the last. Ever since he’d realized that they would easily be able to hurt him one day when they got big enough he’d been a little afraid of them. No matter how many times he’d told himself everything was fine and that they didn’t want to hurt him some small part of himself never believed it. The bigger their tentacles got the more they resembled that of their father’s, even if their colouring was different.

“Mama?” one the them asked in a sweet voice.

“It’s okay, I just… can’t.” He couldn’t force himself to get close enough for them to touch him, not without Papyrus there to offer a sense of safety. So, he just stood a few feet away from them, watching them watch him.

Not even five minutes passed before he started shaking, pulling his arms in to hug himself as tears blurred his vision. Most of the time he was pretty good at _not_ thinking about where the babies had come from or why they’d been born. But that dream he’d had last night was too much of a reminder.

It had been a couple weeks since he’d had a dream about the tentacle monster impregnating him. After such dreams visiting the babies was always harder. Being alone without Papyrus there to comfort him made it worse. He had a hard time preventing him mind from straying to that event in real life and everything that had happened afterward.

He still remembered quite vividly the months of his pregnancy. How his captor had turned him into the perfect sex toy. How it had convinced him to cooperate and pretend to want it by promising to consider letting him go after the eggs had hatched. And how his body and mind had broken as his need to pretend vanished and he’d started liking and wanting it for real.

None of that was the babies’ fault of course. They had no control over the circumstances surrounding their birth. They didn’t, and hopefully never would, know anything about that. And they’d helped him keep a small measure of sanity both before and after they’d been born. But none of that changed the fact that the main reason Sans had been grabbed in the first place had been the tentacle monster’s desire for offspring.

“Mama?” several of them said at once. They sounded confused and sad by his distress and unwillingness to come closer. Great, he’d managed to make them sad now too.

“Sorry I just…” Sans started taking slow steps backward. He didn’t want to be near them right now. He loved the fact that they loved him and had no idea he was a broken mess, but right now he couldn’t look at them without thinking about how they’d come to be. “Look I’ll uh… see you guys tomorrow. I’m really tired right now, okay?”

“Okay?” they echoed back at him. They still sounded sad and confused. He hated that but he just couldn’t be near them today, not when he was alone. He’d try to make it up to them tomorrow.

Sans let out a sigh of relief once he was on the other side of the gate once more. His hands shook as he locked it. Could he be any more pathetic and miserable?

He wiped away his tears with his sleeve as he took several deep breaths to ward off the need to break down into sobs. He sunk down to the ground, his back against the fence, to steady himself. He could hear the babies on the other side making incomprehensible noises at each other. At least they sounded happy again, without him there being a miserable broken wreck.

What should he do now though? It was still a little too early to go Alphys for training. And he didn’t want to go home yet either. If he did he probably wouldn’t be able to force himself to leave again. He didn’t want to admit defeat like that, not after he’d just started trying to get better. Not to mention Papyrus would be there, looking sad and worried.

Once he’d calmed down some he pushed himself back to his feet. He was exhausted and his legs felt wobbly and weak. Maybe going for an hour long walk after how much magic he’d lost last night, hadn’t been such a good idea after all. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it now.

He started walking in the direction of Alphys’ house. He could go there and wait for her. She’d probably be happy with him for being early anyway. Or given how exhausted he was he might not arrive until it was time after all.

He’d been walking for maybe twenty minutes when he decided sitting down for a little bit couldn’t hurt. He found a nearby bench in an empty alleyway and sunk onto it. There was no one nearby so he should be okay to rest for a few minutes. And if anyone did pass by, they hopefully wouldn’t think much of him.


	10. Helpless

_Sans was cradled warmly and securely in tentacles. They were stroking him and petting him, paying special attention to his pregnant belly. Something was off about this situation but it didn’t matter._

_“I want you to fuck me,” Sans said. He wanted it to fuck him, it would feel good. And it would give him something to do while he waited for… whatever it was he was waiting for._

_“Of course,” he captor said. “You have been a good pet huh?”_

_“Y-yeah, I’m a good pet.” Agreeing with it and pleasing it was a good thing, though Sans wasn’t sure exactly why. But it didn’t matter anyway._

_Sans spread his legs, summoning his pussy for it. He was already wet too, he was used to playing this role. It wasted no time thrusting into him, its tentacle-dick stretching and filling him in a way he’d been missing. It set a fast but steady pace like it always did. Not too fast though, he was carrying its eggs after all._

_He moaned loudly in pleasure, spreading his legs a little wider for it. There was a reason he shouldn’t be like this but he didn’t care. It felt good, that’s all that mattered until the thing he was waiting for happened._

_He closed his eyes, moaning in pleasure again. He tried to ignore the feeling of something warm and wet sliding across his face. He didn’t want it. He wanted to stay here. It ran up his face again, leaving behind a trail of warm… spit? He was…_

 

He blinked open his eyes to see Doggo’s face, way more up close than he preferred. He groaned. His pussy was dripping wet between his legs but there was disappointedly nothing thrusting into it. Where was he and what was happening?

“Heya Sansy,” Doggo said with a grin, pulling his muzzle back a bit. “Good to see you’re awake.”

Sans snapped fully awake in sudden fear. He’d fallen asleep on a bench somewhere between Alphys’ and Undyne’s house. And he’d been dreaming about…

“Having yourself a good dream huh?” Doggo said.

“N-no.” Sans flinched, squeezing his legs together. He tried to dispel his pussy but, not surprisingly, couldn’t. This kind of situation was one he’d been hoping to avoid at all costs. How could he have been so stupid as to have let himself fall asleep when he was out of the house?

“You smell like a whore.” Doggo grinned. “Wanna have some fun?”

“What…” Sans froze stiff as he realized what Doggo had to mean by ‘fun’. “No, no, no, please no.” He couldn’t keep the tremor of terror out of his voice. “ _Please_ don’t, please.”

“Oh, this is gonna be fun.” Doggo chuckled. Sans trembled, tears filling his eyes as he caught sight of the bulge in Doggo’s trousers. This couldn’t really be about to happen, could it? Surely, he’d already been through more than enough.

With a whine, Sans tried to scramble up and run away but was pulled up short by Doggo grabbing his arm and pulling him closer once more. “I’ve wanted to fuck your fool mouth ever since I first heard you open it, you demanding little bitch.” His foul-smelling breath was hot on Sans’ face.

“N-no, p-please no,” Sans whimpered, cowering as far away as he could. He couldn’t go through this. It wasn’t fair.

Doggo chuckled again, gripping his arm tight so he couldn’t get away. “You know I think I like you a lot better like this. Now, Greater, Lesser, you guys get to decide which one of you gets to fuck his cunt.” Those last words were directed behind him where Sans was horrified to see Greater Dog and Lesser Dog were standing. They were also already visibly turned on, probably by nothing more than the smell of Sans’ unwanted gross arousal. “The other can fuck his eye or something.”

“No, please no.” Sans was frozen, trembling and crying in terror as the dogs closed in him with eager expressions. Greater Dog grabbed his hips, using his superior strength he pulled them up to rub his erection against Sans’ pussy through their pants. Sans gasped from the sudden stimulation. He was still soaking wet from the dream and couldn’t do anything about it.

“Ha, he likes it,” Doggo said. Greater barked in agreement. Lesser whined and wagged his tail as he moved closer, his bulging erection far too close to Sans’ face and eye socket.

Sans opened his mouth to scream for help from Papyrus or _anybody_. But before he could get a single syllable out, Doggo had freed his dick and thrust it roughly into Sans’ mouth.

Sans yelped around it, trying to scramble back even if that meant bumping into Greater more. But Doggo grabbed the back of his skull, pulling him forward once more. “If you bite I will break _every_ single bone in your body,” he said with a threatening growl. “You understand?”

Sans nodded, unable to see through his tears and breathing frantically through his nose. He whimpered as he summoned his throat and tongue around the dick in his mouth, earning himself an approving huff from Doggo. Cooperating would make it hurt less and hopefully make it end faster. And afterwards he could go home and back to Papyrus.

Behind him he could feel Greater slipping his pants down, exposing his pussy. Seconds later, what had to be Greater’s cock thrust all the way to the back in one harsh move. It was _huge_ and Sans wasn’t the slightest bit ready for it. But Greater wasn’t giving him any time to adjust as he set a brutal punishing pace right off the bat.

Doggo was thrusting now too, forcing himself down Sans’ throat over and over again. And then to top it all off, Lesser started thrusting into his eye socket. It hurt, though not as much as the first time his captor had done that.

Sans sobbed, tears pouring uncontrollably from his free eye. He clenched his hands into fists, forcing himself to focus on breathing through his nose. He tried to make his body relax as much as possible, ignoring the pain and discomfort, and just take it. There wasn’t anything else he could do. He knew from experience that trying to resist would only make it worse. They’d probably pull out his soul.

But it was all so much. It hurt and it was awful and he just wanted to go home where Papyrus would be there to protect him. How could he have thought leaving the house on his own was a good idea? Hadn’t he learned his lesson the last time he’d run off by himself?

Doggo laughed. “You really _are_ a filthy whore huh? You’re not even trying to fight back.”

That was true. Sans was a gross _disgusting_ whore, too weak, pathetic, and worthless to fight back. So, he moaned his agreement around Doggo’s thrusting dick. He was rapidly getting used to the size of Greater’s cock as it thrust harshly into him over and over, rocking his body forward into Doggo and Lesser. It was starting to feel good. The same kind of horribly disgusting good that he’d felt when his captor had fucked him. Hopefully, this would be over soon.

“Hey!”

All three dogs froze mid-thrust at the commanding shout. They then promptly pulled out and ran like the devil himself was chasing them. They quickly vanished around the bend of one of the buildings.

“Don’t you run away from me, ya worthless mutts!” It was Alphys! She was standing a few feet away with a look of extreme fury on her face. Magical axes floated around her, poised to fire, but the dogs had already vanished. She growled in contempt as she looked in the direction they’d run, as if contemplating going after them. But the look on her face softened a bit as she looked at Sans. “We’ll go after them later.” She relaxed her battle stance and let her axes dissipate.

Sans’ initial rush of relief at seeing Alphys faded almost as fast as it had come. She was the last person he’d want to see him like this. His pussy was still manifested in his pelvis, wet and aching with arousal and its sudden emptiness. He was a disgusting piece of garbage, he’d been sitting there, letting the dogs rape him and she’d no doubt seen it.

Whimpering with shame, he curled up on his side, pulling his legs up to his chest and lifting his hand up to cover the eye socket Lesser had been fucking.

“Are you okay Sans?” The anger in Alphys voice was buried underneath concern. “Fuck, dumb question. Of course, you’re not okay.”

Shoulders shaking with quiet sobs, Sans couldn’t bear to look at her as he heard the sound of her heavy footsteps come closer. When she reached him, she placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder. “Later we’re gonna hunt them down and make them pay, okay?” Her tone of voice suggested she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be gentle with her comment or forceful. It came out as an odd combination of the two.

“Alphys.” Sans looked up at her, his vision blurry with tears. “T-thank you.” He pressed his forehead against her armored chest. “Thank you for s-saving me.” Even if her seeing him like this was one of the worst possible things he was still grateful that she’d saved him. She could’ve easily left him to his fate after seeing how disgusting he was.

“Ah fuck.” Alphys gave him an awkward half-hug, patting him on the back. “It’s uh… gonna be okay. That’s what you’re supposed to say in this kinda situation, right? I think so anyway. But uh maybe ya wanna… ya know like… your uh… magic…”

Sans choked on a sob as he struggled to pull his pants back up. But even covered up his pussy wasn’t going to go away any time soon, not after that dream and then… He curled up on himself once more as he broke down into a fresh round of sobbing, putting and arm over his eyes to hide his face and squeezing his legs together.

“Ah fucking shit,” Alphys said. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m sorry. It’s okay.” She patted him awkwardly on the arm some more. “Look let’s just get out of here. I’ll uh take you to my place and then we’ll call Papyrus, alright? And then everything’s going be okay… somehow.”

Sans was unable to do anything as Alphys picked him. Still sobbing he pressed his face into her shoulder, a vain attempt at hiding from the world. But he nodded at her words. He _needed_ Papyrus right now.


	11. Phone

Alphys carried him for what felt like forever but couldn’t really have been for long. She was walking fast, almost jogging. Sans kept his face pressed to her shoulder the whole time, not wanting to see anyone or anything. If Alphys wasn’t Alphys, they probably would’ve been attacked for this blatant show of weakness.

“All right, we’re here,” Alphys said, followed by the sound of her door closing.

Sans finally looked up to see her familiar living room. He could remember all the times he’d been in here when she’d been teaching him how to cook. That felt like it had happened to an entirely different person. Like Sans had borrowed the memories from someone else, someone who wasn’t a broken mess.

Alphys placed him on the couch. “I’m gonna go change out of my armor and then we’re gonna call Papyrus, okay?” She put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Okay.” Sans nodded. During the trip down here, he’d stopped sobbing but his face was still wet with tears. And his pussy was still manifested in his pelvis, aching with arousal.

“Be right back then.” Alphys gave him another gentle pat on the shoulder before disappearing down the hallway. She returned a couple minutes later wearing causal clothing and holding her cellphone. She sat down right beside him on the couch, close enough for them both to see her phone. Which from the way she was holding it, seemed to be on speaker.

He watched her scroll through her contacts until she came across Papyrus’ cellphone number. “Everything’s gonna be okay, all right Sans?” she said as she pressed the call button.

“Thanks.” Sans nodded, sniffling as he wiped at his tears with his sleeves. Papyrus would make it better, he always did.

They sat there listening to phone ring until it went to voicemail. Alphys didn’t let the answering message play before hanging up and trying again. “I swear to god Papyrus if you don’t pick up your fucking phone…” she mumbled under her breath. But it once more went to voicemail.

Was Papyrus really so deeply asleep that he’d slept through his phone ringing? It was possible, he’d done so more times than Sans could remember. But Sans _needed_ him right now.

“Ugh fucking…” Alphys complained loudly, startling Sans when the third try didn’t work either. “I uh… fuck, sorry.”

Sans whimpered, pulling his arms in to hug himself. “Try the home phone. His cellphone might be on charge in his room and when I was left he was sleeping on the couch.” Forgetting to grab his cellphone in the mornings was another thing Papyrus did sometimes.

“Okay,” Alphys said. “But uh I don’t know your house phone number.”

With shaking hands, Sans took the phone from her and dialed. Papyrus sleeping through the house phone ringing was also a possibility, but surely not even he could sleep that deeply for so long. But Sans’ hopes steadily dropped with each unanswered ring until it too eventually reached voicemail.

“Hello, you’ve reached the residence of the one and only Sans. And I guess Papyrus lives here too, but I don’t see why anyone would want to call him. I’m either out or I don’t want to talk to you. If it’s important leave a message, if it’s not fuck off.”

Sans stared at the phone for a few seconds after the message beep sounded. That had been his voice. He even sort of remembered recording that message shortly after they’d moved there a few years ago. His voice had been filled with haughty self-importance even though it had been nothing but a voicemail message. And he’d been so… dismissive of Papyrus.

“You okay Sans?” Alphys asked.

“No.” Sans shook his head, pressing the end call button as tears flooded his eyes. How could he have ever been so confident and in love with himself? And how could he have been like that to _Papyrus_ of all people?

“Fuck,” Alphys said under her breath. “Don’t cry. It’s okay.” She put an awkward but gentle arm around Sans, letting him lean against her as he started crying again. “I’m sure Papyrus will wake up, see our missed calls and get his dumbass over here in no time. So, it’s uh… gonna be okay. I’m sure of it.”

Sans sobbed, pressing his face into Alphys’ shirt. This wasn’t the same as when he cried on Papyrus, not nearly as comforting. But it was all he had.

After everything else he’d been through today, the last thing he’d needed was a reminder of how much of a jerk he’d been before. How could Papyrus still love him after all that? He didn’t even deserve for Papyrus to love him anywhere near as much as he did.

Alphys held him and let him cry for a couple minutes before she started squirming uncomfortably. “You uh… gonna be done crying anytime soon?” she asked.

“I’m sorry.” Shame flooded through Sans as he pulled away from her to curl up on himself instead. “I’m sorry.” He couldn’t expect Alphys to hold and comfort him as if he were a child. He shouldn’t even be crying this much, but he couldn’t stop. It was all too much. He just wanted Papyrus to come and hold him and make everything better. But he wasn’t here and who even knew why that might be.

“Ah fuck, sorry, I didn’t mean…” Alphys groaned. “Dammit, I don’t know what to do.”

Sans didn’t reply as he curled up on his side, hugging one of the couch cushions to cry into instead of Alphys. “I’m fine,” he whimpered. Even a blind person would’ve been able to see that he was lying. He didn’t care though.

There was heavy silence from Alphys for a long while before Sans felt her stand up. Glancing up he watched her dash off into another room. He whined in despair from sudden loneliness. Had he really annoyed her that much? Not really that surprising considering how weak and pathetic he was.

He pressed his face into the pillow, crying harder. He couldn’t take it, it was too much. And he was _still_ turned on. He couldn’t take care of that without…

With a growl filled with self-hatred, he pulled back one of his sleeves, revealing the bandages underneath. He started unwinding it, uncovering the wounds he’d inflicted on himself last night. They were _deep_ and ran along the entirety of his forearm. He still didn’t remember doing it though.

He put his mouth over his arm, positioning his bottom teeth into the sealed cut. He bit down as hard as he could. His squeak of pain was muffled by his arm as fresh magic flooded his mouth. It tasted strange and swallowing it made him feel sick.

It worked. The sudden sharp pain shooting up his arm drowned out his arousal. He kept biting though, squeezing his eyes shut as tears continued to leak down his face. He wanted it to hurt. He deserved to hurt.

“Holy fuck Sans. What the fuck?”

Sans froze, blinking open his eyes to see Alphys staring at him with a shocked expression. She was holding a blanket and a DVD case, probably anime, both of which she placed on the coffee table as she moved closer.

Sans whined, flinching away from her. What had he been thinking doing _this_ in her living room? _And_ breaking the promise he’d made to Papyrus not to hurt himself anymore?

“Let me see it.” Alphys’ tone was trying to be gentle but unlike Papyrus she wasn’t very good at hiding her stress and discomfort.

Sans didn’t resist as she pulled his arm out of his mouth. His sharp teeth had reopened it up and there was blood leaking out, dripping down to the carpet.

“Ah fuck this wasn’t…” Alphys grimaced, filling Sans with yet more shame. “Let’s just… c’mon, I’ll help you clean up.”

Sans stayed silent as he let Alphys pull him off the couch and lead him to the bathroom. There was nothing he could say to try explain this and he didn’t care to try. He sat on the side of the tub as she turned to pull out fresh bandages and disinfectant.

“Does your brother know about this?” She started dabbing his arm with the disinfectant. It stung, but he deserved that pain too.

“Yeah.” His voice was emotionless and flat. He felt drained, like a wrung-out dirty dishrag. If only he could go to sleep and stay asleep for a _very_ long time. But he’d probably have a nightmare so he couldn’t.

Alphys sighed, not saying anything as she finished cleaning and then rebandaging his arm. She then used a warm wash cloth to wipe off the blood around his mouth from biting his arm.

“It’s uh… gonna be okay.” Her tone suggested that even she knew saying that was a useless gesture, that it _wasn’t_ going to be okay.

Sans didn’t reply as she took his hand and led him back to the living room. She took the blanket off the coffee table, unfurling it to reveal an anime cat-girl printed on it. She handed it him as if she expected him to do something with it. He didn’t know what though, so he just stood there staring at her until she took it back.

“Just… relax,” she said. She wrapped the blanket around his shoulders before giving him a light push back onto the couch. She grabbed the DVD off the coffee table, which Sans now saw was definitely anime, with the same cat-girl from the blanket as the cover art. “We’ll watch some anime and spam call your idiot brother until he gets his dumb ass down here.”


	12. Headache

_“When I’m all big and grown up I’m going to join the Royal Guard.” Sans smiled up at Papyrus, his eyes alight with joy and excitement. “I’m going to be the bestest best Guard ever. I’ll be super strong and famous._

_“I’m sure you will,” Papyrus grinned down at him. He was holding Sans’ hand so they couldn’t get separated in the formless sea of adults watching the Queen’s procession go by. This was the first Sans had ever seen the Royal Guard but Papyrus wasn’t surprised by his excitement or sudden desire to join them. He seemed to get excited about everything. “You are the most_ sans _ational monster in the Underground after all.”_

_“Don’t make bad jokes Pappy.” Sans’ wide smile betrayed his fake annoyance._

_“What, don’t ya think my jokes_ pun _ny?”_

_“No. Now lift me up so I can see the Guards better.”_

_“Sure.” Papyrus lifted Sans up so to sit on his shoulders. He was rather tall for his age so Sans should get a pretty decent view now._

_“I’m going to be super cool and strong like them one day,” Sans said. “And then no one will be mean to me for being small ever again.”_

_“But bro, you’re already super cool and strong,” Papyrus said. Sans was barely six and small for age but he already had a strong personality and no doubt one day he’d have the physical strength to match it._

_“Yeah, but I’ll be cooler and stronger. I’ll be the best. And you’ll be like the second best. People won’t get away with being mean to us ever again.”_

_A ringing cut through the murmur of the crowd. It sounded like a phone but for some reason it filled Papyrus with a sense of dread. He didn’t want to listen to so he tried to ignore it. But it came again seconds later and again and again and…_

 

Papyrus blinked open his eyes. He was on the couch in the living room and the phone was ringing. Who would be calling the home phone? And why did they have to interrupt his pleasant dream?

He rolled onto his side, ignoring it. It was already too late to answer it now anyway, unless he teleported to catch it before it went to voicemail. If it was important they’d leave a message that he could listen to later when he wasn’t halfdead with sleep.

He clenched his eyes shut, trying to go back to his dream. It was only a memory but… he’d give _anything_ to see Sans happy and smiling like that again. Or heck, even seeing him go into one of his passionate rages about something, like a huge mess or Papyrus sleeping through something super important, would be wonderful. Anything other than the listless depression he’d been under ever since he’d been rescued. But unless Papyrus somehow invented time travel, that was at the very best, a _long_ way away. And at worst, never going to happen.

Now that he was awake, Papyrus should probably get up to check on Sans and make sure he was doing all right. Being on his own for any significant length of time probably wasn’t good for him, especially after what happened last night. And as exhausted as Papyrus was, Sans’ wellbeing was infinitely more important.

He groaned as he pushed himself into a sitting position. His head _hurt_ , like someone had pounded a nail through it. And despite having slept for who even knew how long, he still felt _exhausted_. He hadn’t slept properly in what felt like forever and all the magic he’d spent on healing Sans last night made it worse.

So, with another tired groan he forced himself to his feet. His pounding headache made him feel lightheaded and he had to put a hand on the couch back to steady himself for a few seconds as the world rocked beneath him.

“Sans?” he called, his voice thick with sleepiness. Sans either hadn’t been able to wake him up or had chosen not to, meaning he was most likely upstairs in his room, taking a nap. Which probably wasn’t good, he needed to go out and do stuff, they both did. But they could start doing stuff tomorrow. For now, Papyrus would go back to sleep after the made sure Sans was okay.

With a tired sigh, he dragged himself up the stairs and to Sans’ room. He knocked on the door first but got no reply. He opened it a crack to peek in, opening it a bit more when he didn’t see anything. Odd, Sans wasn’t in there.

It was probably fine. Sans was most likely just taking a shower or something. There wasn’t any need to worry. It’s not like Sans would’ve left the house by himself.

Papyrus walked to the end of hall where the bathroom was. It didn’t look like the light was on and he couldn’t hear the water running, but he knocked anyway. “Sans, ya in there?” There wasn’t any reply. He twisted the doorknob, it was unlocked and slowly swinging the door open revealed… nothing. Sans wasn’t here either. But then, where was he?

“Sans!” Papyrus shouted, wincing at the sound of his own voice. He then stood there frozen for a few seconds, waiting for Sans to show up but nothing happened.

It was probably nothing. Sans was safe somewhere in the house. He was just… asleep so he hadn’t heard Papyrus call for him. He wouldn’t have left the house without Papyrus, would he? But maybe he hadn’t left the house, maybe the reason he wasn’t responding was…

“No, no, no.” Papyrus cut off that thought before it could fully form. Sans wouldn’t do that, even if the only reason was because he didn’t want Papyrus to be sad.

But then _where_ was Sans? Papyrus groaned, rubbing at his forehead. The headache made it hard to think and he was beginning to feel nauseas. He _had_ to find Sans.

First, he’d search every room in the house. If he didn’t find Sans by the time he was done with that, he’d have to go search Snowdin and ask around for anyone who’s seen him. He _hated_ the thought of Sans having gone out by himself, it would be far too easy for someone to hurt him. But Sans probably wasn’t thinking very rationally and might’ve gone out on his own because he couldn’t or didn’t want to wake Papyrus.

He started by double checking Sans’ room, even peeking under the bed and in the closet. Not surprisingly he came up with nothing. He then moved on to this own room.

Opening the door and stepping inside, he was immediately overcome with way too loud ringing of his cellphone. Why did he have to have such a loud ringtone? But unfortunately, the room was empty.

He groaned as he walked over to his bedside table where his phone was plugged in, charging and blaring its ringtone. The caller ID read ‘Alphys’. Why was she calling him? But what was even more surprising was that he apparently had nine missed calls from her. Whatever she wanted, it was probably important.

 On the final ring before it would go to voicemail, Papyrus accepted the call. “Hey Al-” he began before being cut off.

“Oh my fucking god Papyrus, it’s about goddamn time you picked up your fucking phone.” She sounded _pissed_ and was yelling loud to make Papyrus flinch and pull the phone away from his ‘ear’. “Do you have any fucking idea how long…” her voice faded before cutting off as if someone were taking the phone from her.

“Pappy?” That was Sans’ voice! He was safe. Why he was at Alphys’ was a mystery but it didn’t matter as long as he was safe.

“Hey Sans.” Papyrus tried not to let his relief reflect in his voice. The last thing he wanted was Sans knowing how worried he’d been. “Why are you at Alphys’ place?”

“I just am.” There was something off about his tone of voice. As usual he didn’t sound happy, but it seemed worse than usual this time.

 “You okay?” Papyrus again tried to keep the worry out of his voice, trying to make it sound like a casual question.

“No.” Sans’ voice was flat and emotionless.

Papyrus froze. That was the first time in a long while that Sans hadn’t lied about being okay. That couldn’t be good. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? Are you hurt?”

“I’d rather not talk about it right now. Can you just… come get me please. I need you here.” The last sentence was spoken almost like a desperate plea.

“Of course, I’ll be down in like two seconds, okay?” Without even waiting for Sans to reply, Papyrus gathered his magic and teleported himself down to Alphys’.

He landed in her living room and knew immediately that teleporting that far with how exhausted he was, was not his smartest idea. He swayed on his feet, his headache flaring as darkness encroached on his vision.


	13. To Blame

Sans froze as his immediate relief at seeing Papyrus was instantly shattered. Papyrus swayed on his feet as his eye lights flickered on and off. Luckily, he’d teleported next to the couch as he half sat, half collapsed onto it.

“Pappy?” Sans asked, worry thrumming through his soul. Was Papyrus hurt or sick? Was he going to be okay?

“Uh…” Papyrus groaned.

“You okay Papyrus?” Alphys asked. She’d been angry at Papyrus before but that seemed to be gone for now.

Papyrus shook his head some, blinking his eyes a few times as his eye lights steadied. “Uh yeah… I’m good… just a bit tired,” he mumbled. With a poor attempt at a reassuring smile, he gave a shaky thumbs up with one hand, pressing the other to his head.

“I don’t think almost passing out qualifies as ‘good’.” Alphys frowned, crossing her arms. “And why would you be almost passing out anyway? You’ve teleported more than that distance before and never had any problem.”

“Uh…” Papyrus hesitated, blinking at Alphys confusedly. “I don’t know?”

Tears formed in Sans’ eyes as he moved closer. “I’m sorry.” It was his fault Papyrus was like this. If he hadn’t been a selfish idiot and tried to kill himself or a needy fool, insisting that Papyrus come to him, this wouldn’t have happened. Heck, if he hadn’t been a stupid arrogant piece of shit, he never would’ve been kidnapped and Papyrus wouldn’t have any need to worry about him in the first place.

Papyrus sighed as he put an arm around Sans’ shoulders. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I’m just tired and have a bit of headache, that’s all.” From the look on his face it was obvious that ‘a bit of a headache’ was a gross understatement.

Sniffling, Sans latched onto Papyrus. Hugging him tight, he pressed his face into Papyrus’ chest to hide the tears leaking from his eyes. How could he have let Papyrus push himself so far? What if next time Papyrus got seriously hurt or injured because of him?

Papyrus sighed again, rubbing Sans’ back. “It’s okay Sans, you’re okay. Everything’s gonna be okay.” The sound of his deep voice quickly soothed Sans more than anything else could. “Ya wanna tell me what happened?” he asked once Sans had calmed down some. “Why ya needed to get a hold me so bad.”

“Nothing happened,” Sans blurted out. Papyrus knowing what happened would only make him more stressed out and upset. Which he clearly had more than enough of.

“Sans…”

“Really Pappy, nothing happened.” Sans pulled back to look up at Papyrus with his best attempt at an honest expression. “I just walked to Alphys and I’m too tired to walk back so we called you, that’s all.” Even before he’d been captured Sans hadn’t been a good liar but now he was worse.

Papyrus gave him a hurt look, making him feel bad. “Lying about it isn’t gonna help. Ya gotta tell me what happened or I can’t even try to help.”

“But Pappy,” Sans whined, tearing up yet again. Not only did he not want Papyrus to be upset, he also didn’t want to admit that he’d been letting the dogs rape him. The thought of trying to use his attack magic hadn’t even occurred to him. He’d sat there and _let_ them fuck him. How much more pathetic could he possibly be?

“Papyrus,” Alphys cut in before he could respond. She was using the same tone she used when she was commanding her Guards, meaning she was not to be argued with. “Trying to get him to talk about it might not be a very good idea. We’ll have a private chat about that and some other things in a bit.” Of course she’d want to tell him and there was nothing Sans could do to stop her. “First though, we’re going to wait for Undyne to get here. I’m going to have her do a check up on you since you’re clearly not in very good shape. I was already planning to call her over to have her check on Sans anyway. And she’ll keep Sans company while you and me discuss things.”

“There’s no need to call Undyne, we’re…” Papyrus began.

“No,” Alphys cut him off with a stern look. “Something’s clearly not right here. You weren’t this exhausted yesterday. And you don’t just randomly run so low on magic that something like a single teleport is going to make you almost pass out.”

“But…”

“No ‘buts’. Now, you are going to comfort your brother while I call Undyne.” Alphys didn’t even wait for a response before turning on her heel, already pulling out her phone again as she exited to the other room.

Papyrus sighed in exhausted defeat. “Yeah, okay,” he said despite her having already left the room. He wrapped his arms around Sans, pulling him up onto his lap and holding him close. “I’m not gonna ask ya what happened but are you okay?”

Sans nodded, relaxing as he rested his head against Papyrus’ chest. “I’m better now that you’re here,” he whispered. He was being overly clingy and needy but having Papyrus here made him feel safer. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course, ya know I’m always here for you.”

“Are _you_ okay though?” Sans didn’t know what he’d do if Papyrus was seriously injured or sick because of him.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I promise. I’m just tired and have a headache. I’ll be back to normal again in no time. So, don’t worry about me, ‘kay?”

Sans sighed. How could he _not_ worry about Papyrus when he was pushing himself too far in caring for and helping Sans? Especially when Sans hadn’t done anything to deserve any of it.

“Okay, Undyne’s on her way,” Alphys said as she reentered the room. “When she gets here, both of you are going to let her examine you. Don’t even try to argue.”

That wasn’t good. If Undyne examined Sans, she’d discover the crack in his soul and the magic that Papyrus had given him. Which would lead them discovering his suicide attempt. There was no way he’d be able to dissuade Alphys though, hopefully he could convince Undyne to leave him along.

For the next hour or so they sat and watched anime. Papyrus had requested some pain reliever and had fallen asleep not long after taking it. Sans didn’t mind though, as long as he was here it was fine and he clearly needed rest. In fact, Sans, still on Papyrus’ lap, was starting to drift off himself when the front door opened.

“Hi guys,” Undyne said as she walked in, closing the door behind her. “How’s it going?”

“Not good,” Alphys said. “Papyrus almost fucking fainted when he teleported here. And Sans… fuck I don’t wanna talk about what happened with Sans.”

“Oh,” Undyne frowned. “I guess that’s w-why you wanted me to come down here and give them a checkup.”

“Yes. Something clearly happened to make Papyrus lose all his magic like that and they’re not going to tell us,” Alphys said. “Now Sans wake up your brother, Undyne’s going to do him first.”

Sans sighed. He didn’t want to wake up Papyrus. He’d rather just go home and take a nap with him instead. But there wasn’t a whole lot he could do here. Besides, it was possible that there was something seriously wrong with Papyrus.

He slipped off Papyrus’ lap. “Wake up Pappy,” he said, giving Papyrus’ arm a light shake.

Papyrus groaned as he eyes fluttered open. He looked and sounded so _tired_ and it was all Sans’ fault. “Hey Sans, what’s up? You okay?”

“Undyne’s here to make sure you’re really okay.”

Papyrus groaned even louder than before. But he didn’t say anything as he turned his head to look at Undyne. “Just make it fast so I can go back to sleep.”

“O-of course.” Undyne smiled nervously at him.

Sans watched silently, fidgeting in his seat as Undyne examined Papyrus. First, she quickly checked him for physical injuries, having him remove his coat to get a better look. She then summoned his soul and scanned it with one of her science tools.

“Wow, your m-magic levels are super low,” she said. “H-how did that happen?”

“Uh… ya know, stuff happened and I needed to use a lot of magic because… of reasons.”

Undyne frowned at him as she pushed her glasses back up her face. “Your lying isn’t even remotely convincing. Just tell us what happened.”

“I can’t.” Papyrus cast a brief look at Sans before immediately looking away again. “I just can’t tell you, okay? Please don’t ask.”

“Examine Sans now,” Alphys cut in.

“B-but we haven’t determined what happened to P-Papyrus yet.”

“I know, but he’s not going to tell us right now. And since he’s not on the verge of dying, we’ll figure out it out later. I just want to make sure that Sans is okay, or at least going to be.”

Undyne sighed. “A-all right Sans, let’s do this.”


	14. Check Up

“Please don’t,” Sans whined. If Undyne examined him she’d no doubt find the aftermath of his suicide attempt.

“Yeah, there’s no need for that,” Papyrus said, making a nervous dismissive gesture with his hands. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“I already know about the cuts on his arm,” Alphys said. “You two trying to hide it isn’t going to do you much good.”

“Wait, how did you find out about that?” Papyrus asked.

“It doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that Undyne makes sure he’s okay. Some stuff happened earlier and he might’ve been hurt during it.” Alphys had to have said that for the sole purpose of getting Papyrus to allow Undyne to examine Sans. “Now Sans, you _are_ going to let Undyne examine you.”

Sans nodded, whimpering. “O-okay.” It’s not like he could say ‘no’ to Alphys when she was using her command voice. Besides he hadn’t formally been discharged from the Royal Guard yet, so she was technically still his boss.

“D-do you really have…” Undyne began, her eyes flicking to his arms.

Sans didn’t answer. What could he even say to that? He glanced towards Papyrus, looking for comfort and reassurance. He didn’t get it. Papyrus was sitting unnaturally stiff, fidgeting and squirming in his seat. Did he not know that Sans knew about the magic transfer? Of course he didn’t know, Sans hadn’t brought it up. But surely, he had to know that Sans wasn’t angry about it, he’d only done it because he’d had to. It was Sans’ own fault for trying to kill himself.

“Okay well uh… c-can I see it?” Undyne said.

Sans didn’t say anything but he didn’t resist as she took one of his arms, the one he’d bitten earlier. She rolled back his sleeve, revealing the bandages. The frown on her face deepened as she unwound them.

“T-these are kind of b-bad. A-and they l-look a bit o-odd, l-like not normal b-battle wounds. How did you g-get them?”

Sans bowed his head and looking away so he didn’t have to see the look on her face. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Oh, oh fuck, shit.” Undyne flinched, pulling her hands away from his arm as if she’d been burnt. “I d-didn’t… I-I’m so sorry Sans. I s-shouldn’t’ve b-brought that up. I’m s-sorry.”

Sans didn’t reply as he started rewinding the bandages around his arm. This might be a good thing though. She might not be willing to continue the examination. Also, as long as they didn’t know that both of his arms were cut up that badly they hopefully wouldn’t suspect that they were from anything more.

“A-are you o-okay Sans?”

“What do you think?” Why was she even asking? Wasn’t the answer obvious by now?

“Oh uh… I’m s-sorry.”

Sans sighed, trying to ignore everyone in the room staring at him with sadness in their eyes. Papyrus looked the saddest and his gaze seemed to burn into Sans, filling him with shame and regret.

The heavy silence settled on them as Undyne completed the physical examine. She seemed reluctant and almost afraid to touch him, as if she might accidentally trigger him somehow. Or like he might fall to pieces if she touched him the wrong way. Luckily because of this she missed examining his other arm. So, his secret was safe for a little while longer.

“Okay Sans,” Alphys broke the silence once the physical examine was done, “Undyne’s gonna check your soul real quick to make sure that your magic levels are okay.”

Sans whined, pulling his arms up to hug himself. “ _Please_ don’t.” Them seeing his soul would make it impossible to hide that he’d tried kill himself.

“It’s o-okay Sans,” Undyne said. “I’ll be really q-quick, I promise. I just have to summon and s-scan it and then we're done.”

“Ya don’t really have to do that at all,” Papyrus interjected. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

Alphys frowned at him. “You know that you telling us not to check him only makes us want to check him more, right? You of all people should want to be a hundred percent sure that Sans is okay.”

“Also,” Undyne said, “h-he probably lost a lot of m-magic from… you know, the uh… his arm.”

“Yeah but…” Papyrus hesitated, glancing at Sans. “He doesn’t want you to.”

“Look Sans,” Undyne turned back to Sans, “we just w-want to make sure that you’re okay. We’re your f-friends and Alphys told me that she was really worried about you. S-she didn’t explain to me what happened, only that s-something did and she w-wants to make sure that you’re o-okay after it, at l-least physically anyway.”

Sans sighed, looking at everyone in the room. They were all worried about him all the time. There wasn’t really anything he could do to ease that worry, other than getting better which at this point seemed almost impossible.

“Fine, just make it fast.” Refusing would make them unhappy and he didn’t want them bothering him about it anymore. They’d find out he tried to kill himself, but did it really matter? They both already knew he was a broken mess, it probably wasn’t even going to surprise them a whole lot.

He summoned his soul out to hover in front of himself. He flinched at the shocked gasp Undyne let out at the sight of it, quickly followed Alphys’ own. The crack, though small was still painfully visible and there was no way to hide it. And more obviously, the glow was still marred by Papyrus’ magic and would continue to be so for the next few days at least. Which only served to paint a picture of why Papyrus was so low on magic.

“Sans, I swear to god I only did that because I had to,” Papyrus hurriedly explained before anyone else could say anything. “I wouldn’t’ve even brought your soul out if you weren’t… A-and I didn’t touch it with my own soul, I _promise_. I transferred the magic through my hands. So, I did touch it, just not as bad as I could’ve and I know that’s probably bad enough but I had to and I’m really super sorry. And I know you’ll probably never forgive me for that but…”

“Pappy!” Sans cut him off, grabbing onto his sleeve. “It’s okay. I already figured all of it out this morning. I forgive you.” He hadn’t given much thought to how Papyrus had done it, but he had kind of assumed that Papyrus had used his own soul. It was faster and a lot more efficient that way. But the fact that he hadn’t done that made Sans feel a tiny bit better about it. Papyrus respected his boundaries as much as possible even at cost to himself.

“You do?” Papyrus sounded almost like he was afraid Sans might take his forgiveness back or had been lying about it.

“Yeah, I forgive you.” Sans could never let Papyrus worry about stuff like that. “You only did it because you had to.”

Papyrus let out a heavy sigh of relief. “Thanks,” he said. “I am sorry that that happened though. I should’ve been there sooner.” Why did he have to blame himself for all of Sans’ stupid mistakes?

“It’s okay.” Sans patted him lightly on the arm. With his soul hovering in front of him, he couldn’t hug Papyrus yet.

“Sans,” Undyne said, pulling his gaze back to her. She looked shocked and horrified as if she’d already figured it out. “D-did you try to… the c-cuts on your a-arm… you tried to…”

“Wait,” Alphys said, “Are you saying he tried to kill himself or something?” Now she looked just as shocked as Undyne. So, they were surprised by it after all.

“Just scan my soul so I can put it away please.” Sans didn’t want to talk about it. They knew now, he didn’t need to confirm it.

“O-of course, of course,” Undyne stammered. Her hands shook as she pulled out the tool again and pointed it at his soul. It beeped softly as it read his magic levels. “Y-yeah, your magic’s uh… not good. But with P-Papyrus magic y-you’re okay.”

With a grateful sigh, Sans let his soul fade back into his chest. He then moved back onto Papyrus’ lap, relaxing as his long arms encircled him. He hid his face in Papyrus’ jacket. If he looked at Undyne and Alphys right now he’d probably start sobbing again and he’d already done enough of that for the day.

“Papyrus,” Alphys said. “Did Sans really…”

“Can we not talk about it please?” Papyrus answered, soothingly rubbing Sans’ back.

“Yeah okay, let’s just… relax for a bit I guess and then later you and me will chat later about what happened earlier.”


	15. Chat

Even with the pain killers he’d taken earlier Papyrus still had a headache. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been earlier but it was still enough to make him want to lay down in a dark room for a bit. But he had to talk to Alphys about what happened with Sans earlier, the reason why they’d been so desperate to get a hold of him.

“So, what happened?” he asked once he and Alphys were alone in the kitchen together. Undyne and Sans were still in the living room, watching anime. They’d waited until Sans had relaxed as much as possible.

“Well uh,” Alphys clapped her hands together. “First, I wanna ask, did Sans really try to uh… kill himself?”

“Yeah.” It’s not like Papyrus could deny it given the evidence Alphys had seen. “It’s not really any of your business though and he promised he’d never do it again.”

“Ah fuck, that’s…” Alphys frowned. “I didn’t think he’d ever do something like that. Like even after I saw his arm, I didn’t consider that he had… taken it _that_ far. Gosh fuck, I’m so sorry.”

“How did you find out about that anyway?”

“Well uh… he was upset and crying. I wasn’t really sure what to do so I ran to my room to grab a blanket and some happy anime because that always helps Undyne feel better when she’s upset. I was only out of the room for like two minutes at most. When I got back he’d taken the bandages off and was… biting his arm. Hard enough to make it bleed again.”

“Oh.” Papyrus flinched. Sans had promised he wouldn’t hurt himself anymore. Why would he break that promise? Especially so soon after making it. “Why was he upset?” It had to do with whatever bad thing happened, right?

“I don’t think there’s a tactful way to phrase this, I’m not even sure I’d want to be tactful if I could. But when I went looking for him earlier I found him in an alleyway nearby and a group of goddam fucking mutts were raping him.”

Papyrus froze, rage flooding his soul and erasing his exhaustion as he processed Alphys’ words. “I’m gonna _fucking_ kill them.” He wasn’t just going to kill them, he was going to skin them alive.

He started gathering magic to teleport out and hunt them down to rip them to shreds. But before he could, Alphys grabbed his wrist, squeezing it hard and jerking him to pull him back to the present.

“Don’t, you moron.” She growled. “You’re gonna get yourself killed.”

“But…” Papyrus growled, unable to articulate how much he _needed_ to obliterate the people who had hurt Sans. He was going to make them regret even _thinking_ about hurting Sans. They were going to begging for death _long_ before he was done making them suffer.

“Dude, you’re low on magic and only one guy, let me handle hunting them down,” Alphys said. She looked angry too but seemed to have more control of it. “I’m going to send the entire fucking Guard after them so they’ll pay for hurting Sans, I promise.”

No matter how angry and hungry for vengeance Papyrus was he couldn’t deny that she was right. He was too low on magic to be of much use in a fight right now. Not to mention he didn’t know who exactly did it.

“ _Who_ did it?” Though at this point, he hardly cared who did it. He was willing to slaughter every single dog monster in the entire Underground just for being the same species as the people who’d hurt Sans.

“Greater, Lesser, and Doggo was leading them. They ran off the moment I showed up. I didn’t chase them because I had to take care of Sans. They’re probably in hiding by now since they know I’ll be looking for them. We’ll find them though.”

Papyrus growled again. He should’ve killed Doggo a long time ago. He’d been tempted to on multiple occasions, but never had for one reason or another.

“Fucking dammit.” Papyrus punched a nearby wall hard enough to leave a sizable dent. It hurt but he was too enraged to care right now. How could he have failed Sans _again_? He’d _promised_ he would protect Sans from anyone and everyone who wanted to hurt him. Why did he always seem to fail? If he hadn’t been sleeping like a useless fool he would’ve been there to protect Sans in almost every instance he’d been hurt.

“They’re as good as dead, I promise.” Alphys looked almost as angry as he felt. “They’ll fucking pay as soon as we find their dumbasses. We’ll make them wish they’d never been born.”

Papyrus growled as he punched the wall again, there being no other target he could take his fury out on right now. As soon as he got his hands on those wretched mutts he was going to make them pay _very_ dearly. Until then he’d just have to bide his time and make sure that Sans was safe.

***

 

Sans watched Papyrus head into the other room with Alphys. She was no doubt going to tell him about the dogs. Papyrus would get angry and upset and then he’d start to blame himself. There wasn’t anything Sans could do about that though.

“So, uh how are things going?” Undyne fidgeted in her seat, her eyes seemingly unable to meet his. “You doing okay?”

“Why are you asking? You already know the answer.”

“I uh… I’m really s-sorry Sans about… _that_ being brought up. I didn’t m-mean to. But uh can I ask w-why did you uh…” Undyne trailed off, not even looking at him anymore.

“Try to kill myself?” Sans finished for her, making her flinch. Now that it was out in open, her and Alphys knowing didn’t bother him a whole lot. It didn’t change anything other than now they looked at him with even more pity and sadness than they had before. Which was bad but nothing new.

“I don’t really know,” he answered. “I don’t even remember doing it. I woke up from a nightmare and Papyrus wasn’t there. So, I decided that I wanted to make the nightmares and bad feelings go away. That’s the last thing I remember. If Papyrus hadn’t come home when he did…” He shrugged, unable to complete that thought aloud. Papyrus would’ve been devastated. After everything Papyrus did in caring for him the least Sans could do is not leave him to grieve like that.

“I’m _so_ sorry Sans.” Undyne moved her hand as if she wanted to touch his shoulder or something but withdrew before she got close enough.

Sans shrugged again, looking away from the sadness on her face. Why did she even care? She’d always been Papyrus’ friend, not his. In fact, if he remembered correctly, she used to be a little afraid of him. He’d yelled at her once about supplying Papyrus with marijuana and she’d flinched at his every word and had profusely apologized. She’d even stopped giving Papyrus pot. So, she should be happy that he’d been broken.

“Did I deserve it?” he asked, looking back her.

“D-deserve what?”

“Being kidnapped and turned into as sex toy.”

There were a few seconds of stunned silence before Undyne answered. “No. W-Why the fuck would you even t-think that?”

“I was a jerk before.”

“B-but that doesn’t…” Undyne flailed her hands, at a loss for words. “T-that doesn’t mean… No one deserves that.” Those last words sounded almost angry.

Sans sighed. Maybe she was right. Maybe he’d just been unlucky. Lots of other people were way worse than he’d been and nothing bad ever happened to them. But maybe she was wrong too. Sans had been a jerk to his very own brother, who had proven time and time again that he cared immensely for Sans even after all the mean things Sans had said to him.

Undyne sighed. “Y-you talk to your brother a-about this?”

“Yeah. He said basically the same thing you did. But that doesn’t mean anything. He still loves me for some reason so his thoughts on that aren’t worth much.”

“W-what are you talking about ‘for some reason’? H-he’s your brother, why wouldn’t he love you?”

Sans shrugged. “Lots of people don’t love their brothers.” He’d never realized how lucky he was for having Papyrus as his brother until all of this happened. “And I know I don’t deserve for him to.”

Undyne stared at him, shocked, as if he’d just said something crazy. “Your… He… N-no, you deserve it. After all the fucked up shit you’ve been through, you more than deserve e-everything he’s done for you.”

Sans didn’t know what to say to that, so he said nothing. Part of him wanted to argue and tell her how much a burden he was being on Papyrus these days and how much of a jerk he’d been before. But she had to already know that and he wasn’t in the mood to talk about it.

Luckily, Papyrus and Alphys chose that moment to return from the kitchen. The look of fury mixed with guilt on Papyrus’ face as he walked over to Sans confirmed that he knew about the incident with the dogs.

“Sans I’m…”

“ _Don’t_ apologize,” Sans interrupted. He was proud of the slight note of command he managed to get into his voice. “It’s _not_ your fault so don’t you _dare_ try to blame yourself.”

“I… yeah, okay.” Papyrus nodded firmly before sitting on the couch again. He wrapped his arms around Sans, hugging him and pulling him back onto this lap. “They’re gonna _fucking_ pay, I promise,” he whispered into Sans’ ‘ear’. His voice was dripping with venom and hate. It was comforting in that he didn’t sound sad for the first time in what seemed like ages. “I’ll make them _suffer_. I promise they’ll be _begging_ for death long before I’m done.”

“I know,” Sans said. At least everyone who hurt him would always pay for it. It was just too bad that revenge couldn’t fix anything.


	16. Proud

“No, you are not going to head home right now, it’s too fucking dark out, you moron,” Alphys said.

“I’ll just teleport.” Papyrus shrugged. He was still holding Sans on his lap. It seemed he didn’t want to let go after learning about the incident with the dogs. Sans didn’t mind though, it made him feel safer.

“No, you’re not going to do that either.” Alphys crossed her arms, tapping her foot in annoyance. “You almost passed out when you teleported down here. You guys are going to stay in the guest bedroom and I’ll escort you home tomorrow morning.”

Papyrus let out an annoyed sigh. “There’s really no arguing with you, is there?”

“Not when you’re trying to be stupid. You don’t have enough magic to teleport down there without almost fainting again. The ferries have stopped running for the day so you’d have to walk. And I don’t want you guys walking all the way to Snowdin when it’s dark out like this.”

“What do you think Sans?” Papyrus looked down at Sans. “I could probably teleport if I really had to.”

“No,” Sans said without taking any time to think about it. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” Sans would never forgive himself if Papyrus got seriously hurt because of him. “And she’s right, walking home in the dark wouldn’t be very smart.” Especially with how weak and vulnerable they both were right now.

“It’s decided then,” Alphys said. “You two will be staying in the guest bedroom tonight. Or one of you could sleep on the couch, whatever you guys decide to do.”

“Yeah, okay.” Papyrus gave in with a sigh.

Alphys nodded in triumph. “Good. Now I know it’s super late and you’re probably tired but we haven’t eaten dinner yet. You wanna help me make something Sans? You know like we used to do sometimes.”

Sans groaned. There was _no_ way he could eat around Alphys and Undyne. They didn’t know about his problem and he’d rather keep it that way. Not to mention, after everything he’d been through today, that was the _last_ thing he wanted to deal with.

“That’s fine,” Alphys said. “You’ve had a rough day, you deserve some rest. We’ll cook together again some other time.”  With that she turned and went back to the kitchen. Maybe five seconds passed before the loud banging and clattering that always accompanied Alphys’ less than subtle cooking style started.

“I’ll uh make sure she doesn’t almost burn the house down again,” Undyne said before following her in.

“I can’t eat Pappy,” Sans said, stating it plain and simple.

Papyrus sighed, giving Sans a sad look. “But you need to…”

“I _promise_ I’ll eat something tomorrow morning as soon as we get home. Just please don’t make me tonight, not in front of them. I can’t take that right now, _please_.” He gave Papyrus his best sad pleading look.

Papyrus thought for a few seconds in silence before sighing again. “Yeah, okay, I won’t make ya eat. I don’t know what we’ll tell them but I guess we’ll figure something out. But I’m gonna hold ya to that promise tomorrow, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Sans nodded with a sigh, relaxing once more. He’d at least put off that torment for a little while longer, assuming that Alphys let him get away with not eating too.

A short time later Undyne and Alphys returned. Alphys was wearing an apron that was splattered with more than a little of whatever food she’d decided to make and stained from numerous other cooking adventures. “Food’s done.”

“We can’t eat,” Papyrus said.

“Pappy no, you should eat,” Sans said before Alphys could ask ‘why’.

“But…”

“You’re already low on magic so you _need_ to eat. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

“What’s going on?” Alphys cut in.

Sans took a deep breath to steady himself before answering. “Because of personal reasons I’d prefer not to discuss, I… am _very_ uncomfortable with the thought of eating when I’m away from home. I know it sounds weird but I just _can’t_ do it, especially after how bad today’s already been.”

Alphys studied him, a thoughtful look on her face. “All right, fine, since it’s apparently bad enough that Papyrus is letting you skip eating, I’ll allow it. But you _are_ going to eat something the moment you get home tomorrow morning.”

Sans let out a breath he hadn’t know he’d been holding. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks.”

“But Papyrus _you_ are going to eat with us.” Alphys pointed at Papyrus. “Unless you have the same problem he does.”

“I don’t, but…”

“No ‘buts’. Food is important and you need to eat.”

“Yeah, Pappy please eat.” Sans not eating didn’t mean Papyrus should skip too.

Papyrus gave Sans a troubled look before giving in with a sigh. “Yeah okay, I guess.” He gave Sans one last hug before standing up and placing him on the couch. “Ya sure you’re okay with this? I feel kinda bad for eating when you’re not.”

“It’s fine, I’ll eat something tomorrow.” Sans dreaded that but he didn’t have to think about it until he got there.

 

Later, after wishing Undyne and Alphys a good night, they were in the guestroom together. Sans had spent the night in here a few times before when he’d stayed late at Alphys’ for training. It was just like he remembered it, small but serviceable with few furnishing besides the bed.

“Ya want me to sleep in here with you, or on the couch?” Papyrus asked.

“I don’t wanna be alone.” Sans couldn’t keep the whimper out of his voice. Now that he was faced with the prospect of going to sleep, he didn’t want to. What if he had another horrible nightmare like he had last night? Or one of his sex dreams? Either one he didn’t think he could take right now.

“In here it is then.” Papyrus sat on the edge of the bed. “I know you’re probably not doing too well but… how ya feeling?”

Sans shrugged. “Tired, but… I don’t want to go sleep.”

“Yeah, thought so.” Papyrus sighed, leaning back on his hands.

Sans forced himself to sit next to him instead of standing there and fidgeting. How fucked up was it that he was almost _afraid_ to go to sleep?

“How often do you have nightmares?” Papyrus asked.

“Almost every night. Sometimes they’re not _really_ nightmares though, not until I wake up anyway. In them I… I uh…” wanted to be raped like a gross disgusting whore.

“Yeah, Sans I know, ya don’t gotta say.” Papyrus sighed again, rubbing at his forehead when Sans trailed off. “I’m sorry you have to go through that. I wish there was something I could do.”

“You should go to sleep,” Sans said. “I think I’ll try to stay up.” Maybe if he put off sleep long enough when he finally did go to bed he’d be too tired to dream.

“Not sleeping isn’t good either.”

“I know but…” Sans shrugged. “I don’t wanna dream.”

“All right, but can you at least lay down with me until I fall asleep.”

“Okay.” Knowing Papyrus, that wouldn’t take long, especially with how tired he had to be.

Papyrus lay on his side, his back to the wall. Sans lay down next to him so that they were facing each other. The bed was just big enough to comfortably fit both of them with a small gap of space between them.

Papyrus pulled the blanket up. “Remember when we were kids and ya wouldn’t go to sleep unless I read you a bedtime story?”

“Yeah, what about it?” Sans had used to be ashamed of how long he’d needed Papyrus to read him a bedtime story. Now he missed those days.

“I was just thinking about it because you’d always make me lay down next to you so that you could see the pictures without me having to turn the book.”

Sans let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, things were a lot easier back then.” The memory of how happy he’d been back then, even with all the hardships they’d faced growing up, almost made him want to cry.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make ya sad.”

“No, it’s fine.” Sans did his best to smile, even if it was only for a second or two. “I just wish we could be that happy again.” Even before Sans had been broken that level of happiness had been unattainable for both of them. The world was too fucked up a place for that.

“Me too.”

The silence stretched for a short eternity and Sans was starting to think that Papyrus might’ve fallen asleep when he spoke up again. “Sans, I’m so sorry about… what happened earlier today.” Underneath his sad tone was a half-buried edge of anger and guilt. “I should’ve been there to protect you but… I wasn’t.”

Sans didn’t want to talk about this or even think about it. “It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have gone out alone.” Not to mention he shouldn’t have let himself fall asleep on a bench in an empty alleyway. He’d basically been asking for trouble.

“Why were you out alone anyway?”

“You were sleeping and I didn’t want to wake you up. I knew how exhausted you had to be after… you know and I figured you deserved some rest. So, I thought I could go out on my own and that maybe you’d… be proud of me for doing stuff and trying to get better.” Those last words were spoken in a whisper as Sans blinked back a few tears that had formed in his eyes.

Papyrus froze for half a second before gathering Sans up in his arms, pulling him into a warm hug. “I _am_ proud of you. You’re my super awesome baby brother and I’ll always be proud of you.”

Sans stiffened in his arms for a moment before relaxing against his chest. “Really?” he whispered. Why would Papyrus be proud of him when he’d been nothing but a weak crybaby for a while now?

“Yes really, I promise.” Papyrus sounded _so_ sure of that, like he actually meant it and wasn’t just saying it to make Sans feel better. But _did_ he actually mean it or was he just good at faking it? “You’re handling this a lot better than I know I probably would if I were in your position. And you not only _want_ to get better but you’re also _trying_ to. That takes a lot strength.”

“I guess so, maybe.” Sans main reason for wanting to get better was because he wanted Papyrus to stop being sad all the time, so did it really count?

The silence stretched for a bit more and Sans was considering extracting himself from Papyrus’ hug and probably quitting the bed all together before he started to fall asleep. But before he could even start to muster up enough willpower to force himself to do that, Papyrus pulled him a little closer as if reading his mind.

“You should sleep, I’ll keep ya safe, I promise. You’ll be just fine, just… relax.”

Sans halfheartedly tried to push away. He could undoubtedly escape if he really tried, Papyrus wouldn’t hold him down if he put any real effort into trying to get away. And he _should_ do that. A nightmare would shatter the peaceful bliss he was feeling right now. Or having one of his disgusting sex dreams when sleeping next to his brother would be one the worst possible things.

But he couldn’t make himself move. He was too warm and comfortable. And Papyrus offered a sense of safety as if he could actually keep the nightmares away somehow.

“Everything’s gonna be okay.” The tone of Papyrus’ voice suggested that he was getting sleepy too. But he kept murmuring soft assurances anyway, his intent obviously to soothe Sans to sleep.

Despite Sans best efforts at staying awake, it was working as he was lulled further and further towards sleep. “Thanks Pappy,” he managed to mumble quietly before succumbing to it.

By some miracle that night turned out to one those increasingly rare special nights where he had no dreams, or none that he could remember anyway.


	17. Cooking

Sans avoided looking down at the river as he forced himself to step over it and onto the ferry. The last thing he needed was Alphys and Papyrus being even more worried about him because he was a little afraid of some water. That fear didn’t even make a whole lot of sense. Chances of something snaking up to grab him and drag him down to its layer were low and Papyrus and Alphys were here to protect him if that did happen.

The boat rocked beneath him as he settled both feet on it. Unsteady, he couldn’t stop himself from looking down and froze. What if something _was_ in the water? And what if that something _did_ try to grab him?

“You okay Sans?” Papyrus stepped next to him, causing the boat to rock a little more.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Sans nodded, unable to take his eyes off the river. Why did the water have to be so dark? Almost anything could by down there and they’d never know unless it surfaced.

The boat rocked wildly as Alphys jumped on, almost making Sans lose his balance. “Snowdin,” she said to the ferry man. She’d woken the two of them up at the crack of dawn this morning, saying it was time for her to escort them home. It was the earliest Sans had woken up in what felt like ages, which was kind of nice.

As the boat started moving Sans forced himself to sit down on the bench next to Papyrus. Alphys was sitting across from them, nearer the ferry man.

“I’m gonna drop you guys off at home and then I’m going to get a squad together and we’ll find the dogs,” Alphys said. Her tone was stern, edged with anger and professionalism.

“When you find them tell me.” Papyrus growled softly, squeezing his hands into a fist.

“Yeah, the moment I have them in custody I’ll call you.”

The rest of the ride was spent mostly in silence. Sans stared down at his feet the whole time, barely resisting the urge to grab onto Papyrus’ sleeve to ground himself. He repeatedly told himself that being afraid of the river was stupid and unnecessary.

The ride seemed to take ages but they did finally get there. After paying, they jumped out and started walking towards home with Alphys leading. She set a brisk professional pace, her armor clanging softly with each step she took.

As they walked they got some looks from people on the street. All of them quickly turned away and went out of their way to avoid them. Probably because of Alphys, no one wanted to risk angering the Captain of the Royal Guard.

“You two rest and relax for a bit,” Alphys said once they’d reached the outside of their home. “I’ll call you as soon as I have the dogs in custody.”

“How long’s that gonna take?” Papyrus asked, a low impatient growl hidden in his voice.

“Depends on a number of things. But _don’t_ do anything stupid, that goes for _both_ of you. Let me handle this for now, okay?”

“I already said I’d let ya handle it,” Papyrus said. “And we won’t do anything ‘stupid’.”

“I will see you two later today then.” With that Alphys turned and strode away.

Sans and Papyrus entered the house together, closing and locking the door behind them. Sans sighed in relief at the familiar surroundings. There was nothing quite like being safely home again.

“I guess I’ll make breakfast then,” Papyrus said with a tired sigh. He’d never been a morning person and it showed.

“I can do that,” Sans said.

Papyrus froze in his tracks, turning to look back at Sans with a surprised expression on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, probably ask a question, but Sans cut him off.

“It’s just… you’re always doing everything around the house these days. And I know that’s really stressful for you and… and you should probably be resting after… after you know.” Sans put a hand on his chest, over where his soul resided. “So, I think I should do something for once maybe. To help you out a little. I do live here too after all so I should be doing my share of the work.” That had always been what he’d used to say to Papyrus to try to get him to do something around the house, it had even worked sometimes.

“Oh, okay,” Papyrus said. He changed course and slumped onto the couch instead of heading to kitchen. “Ya sure? I know ya got that… eating thing so…”

“I’ll be fine.” Sans was going to avoid thinking about that for as long as he could. “Besides I’m… one of the best cooks in the Underground, right?” He had used to believe that with all his soul, now he wasn’t so sure. His voice probably reflected that doubt but Papyrus smiled at his words anyway.

“Yeah bro, you’re the bestest best cook in the entire Underground.”

Sans had finally done something right for once. “Thanks.” Even if he didn’t really believe Papyrus’ words they were still nice to hear. “I’ll be in the kitchen then.”

“’Kay, yell for me if ya need me.”

Sans walked into the kitchen, holding his hands behind his back to stop them from shaking so much. There was no reason to be nervous, he’d cooked many times before. And doing this would be good for him. Even if he could never leave the house alone again he could at least do stuff around here to get better. And then Papyrus wouldn’t have to be so sad and stressed out all the time. And he did owe it to Papyrus after everything Papyrus did for him.

He froze as he caught sight of the answering machine. The light was blinking, indicating a missed call and waiting message. No doubt that was from when Sans had called yesterday. He hurriedly walked over to it. A few button presses deleted the message and a few more deleted the voicemail recording, setting it back to the default robotic one. He could worry about recording a proper voicemail message later, for now he just wanted the old one gone forever.

He turned back to the kitchen proper and strode over to where he kept his cookbooks. He had a bunch of them, most of them birthday gifts from Papyrus. He opened the cupboard and lightly ran his hand across their spines. After going over them once or twice he normally never had to read them again since he’d always been able to remember most of the recipes he liked after making them once. But it had been a while since he had even _thought_ about cooking so he probably needed one.

He grabbed one that he knew had simple recipes in it that would make for good breakfast foods. He wasn’t up to make anything big or complex right now. If he managed to continue to force himself to do this, he would work his way up to stuff like that.

He settled on making strawberry crepes, easy and simple even it if wasn’t the healthiest option. As he worked he forced his mind to focus solely on what he was doing. After not eating last night he was hungry enough to make that a little easier.

It wasn’t long before he had finished and had laid out both plates on the table across from each other. He didn’t feel like he could force his voice to get loud enough to be heard from the living room so he walked over there instead. Papyrus was lounging on the couch and smiled at him when he approached.

“Food’s done,” Sans said.

Papyrus’ smile faltered at whatever he’d heard in Sans’ voice. But he didn’t say anything about it. “That’s good.” He stood up and followed Sans into the kitchen. “You’re doing a really good job, ya know that?” he said as he took his place at the table.

“I guess.” Sans sighed, sitting across from him.

He picked up his fork and poked at his food. This morning had been one of the best mornings he’d had in a long while, barring the ferry ride. Eating was going to ruin it.

Papyrus ate rather quickly, scarfing it down like he’d been the one who had skipped supper last night. “Fuck, I’d almost forgotten how good your cooking tastes,” he said, obviously going out of his way not to say anything about Sans’ reluctance to eat.

“Thanks.” Sans poked at his food some more. He needed to eat it before it got cold. And he was _very_ hungry, the smell of it only making him hungrier. Besides the morning had already been ruined just by the thought of eating, so he wasn’t losing anything. He’d just have to deal with his problem and move on with his life, like he usually did. Like the gross disgusting whore that he was.

He took a deep breath before he started eating. For some reason, he was kind of surprised by how much better it tasted than anything Papyrus ever made. Unfortunately, his enjoyment of that fact lasted only up until he finished eating as he body and magic automatically responded to months of sexual conditioning.

He groaned, tears coming to his eyes as his pussy formed in his pelvis. It was already wet and ready to be fucked by his now dead captor. There was no escaping this, no matter what he did. Was he going to be forced to live the rest of his life like this? He was basically still a sex toy, just with no one to use him. At this point he might as well go out on the streets and become a whore in actuality, since sex was apparently all he was good for.

Without even glancing Papyrus’ way, he pushed himself to feet. Before he could exit the kitchen though Papyrus lightly grabbed his upper arm. Sans stopped but turned his head away, he didn’t want to see the sadness in Papyrus’ eyes.

“Sans.” Papyrus sounded just as sad as Sans had expected. “I’m _so_ sorry ya have to go through this. I can’t even imagine what it must be like.”

“It sucks.” What else could Sans say? “I have to go… take care of it.” He tugged lightly against Papyrus’ hold, he could easily escape but he wanted know what Papyrus wanted first.

Papyrus sighed. “The way you’ve been… taking care of it clearly isn’t working. Maybe you should try something different.”

Sans didn’t mention that he _had_ tried something different and that it had worked, but wasn’t allowed to do it anymore. “Like what?”

“Like… doing nothing, ignore it until it goes away.”

Sans finally turned his head to look at Papyrus, his vision blurring with tears. “I’ve _tried_ that. I’m too weak and can’t do it.” He sniffled as the wiped at his tears with the back of his hand.

“Maybe don’t go upstairs. Maybe do nothing down here until it goes away.”

“But…” Sans didn’t like Papyrus seeing him like this. How could Papyrus not look at him with disgust when he knew Sans was sexually aroused because of how many times he’d been _raped_ after eating? How many times he’d _wanted_ it to fuck him after eating? Everything about this was _disgusting_.

“Sans, it’s not like I don’t know what’s going on. There’s nothing wrong with it and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Papyrus seemed to actually believe that. “I don’t want ya to… hurt yourself anymore. And I’m not just talking about with the knife. I’m also talking about… your other way of dealing with this problem. It clearly makes you upset and… only makes everything worse.”

“What do I do then?”

“Maybe some kind of distraction might help. We could watch TV or play a board game or something.”

“I guess.” Sans shrugged. He could at least give it a try. He’d probably end up in his room, touching himself and fantasizing about his rapist eventually anyway though, he always did.


	18. Distraction

Sans watched silently as Papyrus stood up, grabbing their dirtied plates to place in the sink. He then made his way over to the one of the side cupboards, the one that held the small amount of ‘fun’ things they’d gathered over the years. Which consisted of a few board games, puzzles, all of which were missing at least a few pieces, and the occasional broken toy. All of it they’d scrounged up from the Dump back when they were kids. Sans had used to think about throwing it all out, but had never gotten around to it.

“Remember back when we used to play chess all the time?” Papyrus asked as he pulled out a familiar chess board.

“Yeah.” Sans had desperately wanted to be good at it since it was a game that revolved around strategy and he’d wanted to think of himself as a master strategist. But he’d never been able to beat Papyrus unless Papyrus let him win. Which had annoyed him to the point where he’d eventually given up, lying to himself that Papyrus had to have been cheating or that the game was broken and unfair.

Papyrus lay the board out on the table and started placing the pieces in their proper squares. Some of them had been missing and had been replaced with homemade ones carved from wood that were barely recognizable as the piece they were supposed to represent. And the pieces that were there were all had cracks and flaws of their own. Even the board wasn’t in very good shape, with several cracks and gouges marring its surface.

“Focusing on something else should help, right?” With a forced smile, Papyrus gestured to the board once he’d finished setting it up. “Ya wanna try?”

“I guess.” Sans shrugged, not meeting his gaze. He squirmed, squeezing his legs together before gingerly lowering himself back onto his seat. He gripped the front edge of his chair. Part of him wanted to touch himself, even despite Papyrus’ proximity. But _that_ at least he could never do. He’d almost rather die than ever let Papyrus see him acting like a gross whore.

“Look we’ll even turn on the TV for some background noise.” Papyrus left the kitchen. Seconds later the sound of the TV drifted into the kitchen, providing another layer of distraction. Papyrus then returned and sat on the other side of the table. “It’s gonna be okay Sans, I promise. This has to work. Ya can’t stay… ya know, forever. It’ll go away if ya just ignore it long enough.”

Sans nodded, barely holding back a whimper. That made sense, without stimulation it _had_ to go away eventually. But how _long_ was that going to take? He was already starting to feel antsy and Papyrus’ presence when he was like this almost made him feel almost ill with shame and self-disgust.

“Just focus on the game and me, all right?” Papyrus smile was again obviously forced. “Don’t think ‘bout… you know what, ‘kay?”

Sans nodded again, unable to make himself say anything or even make eye contact. How was Papyrus able to stand being near him when he knew what was going on? It was _disgusting_. Papyrus should be disgusted by this. He had to be faking because he didn’t want to hurt Sans’ feelings, right?

But despite his shame and disgust with himself Sans turned his attention to the chessboard. Papyrus let him make the first move. He moved a random pawn, not putting any thought or strategy into it. It didn’t matter if he won or lost.

The played for a bit, silent except for the low murmur of the television in other room. Sans refused to even glance at Papyrus’ face the whole time, keeping his eyes glued to the game instead. He didn’t want to see how sad and worried Papyrus undoubtedly was.

“Sans,” Papyrus said, breaking the silence. “Why are ya… refusing to look at me?”

Sans shrugged. If he spoke, Papyrus would hear how close was to tears. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. It was awkward and awful in a hundred different ways. They’d been here for at least five minutes and his pussy was still aching with arousal, making him squirm uncomfortably in his seat.

“Sans?” Papyrus sounded worried now.

Sans didn’t reply. He couldn’t think of anything he could say other than the lie that he was fine. He was tired of lying about that to Papyrus and Papyrus never believed it anyway.

“C’mon Sans, I know it’s hard but…” he trailed off. The silence stretched for a bit, Papyrus not taking his turn. “Can ya please talk to me? Or at least _look_ at me? I’m trying to help but… I don’t know what to do.”

Sans sighed as he finally looked up to meet worried Papyrus gaze. Things had been going so well today until this. Why did Sans’ brokenness have to ruin everything?

“Why…” Sans’ voice almost broke and he had to take another few seconds to compose himself before trying again. “Why did this happen to me?”

Papyrus’ body seemed to deflate as he sighed. “I… don’t know.”

“Everything had been going so… great. I was a part of the Royal Guard and… Alphys was thinking about promoting me to her be her second in command. I know I was a huge jerk but… I was strong and… people knew not to… mess with me. But then… I go out on my own, something I’d done numerous times before, and it’s all over. Now I’m nothing more than a broken sex toy. So, _why_ did that have to happen to _me_? Why did it have to grab _me_ to be its stupid breeding tool?” Sans was crying now. Not that it mattered, he cried all the time these days. “ _Why_ _me_?”

Papyrus stood up and moved over, opening his arms to pick Sans up. Before he could, Sans put a hand on his chest, holding him back. He didn’t want to be held when he was aroused like a disgusting whore. Papyrus immediately backed off, seemingly not even offended. Instead he pulled up a chair to sit directly next to Sans.

Sans gripped onto his sleeve with both hands, _tight_ , like if he let go Papyrus would float away. Squeezing his legs together, he drew them up to his chest and leaned against Papyrus’s side. “Why me?” he whimpered again, tears still leaking from his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Despite the sadness in Papyrus’ tone he made no move to embrace Sans, just moving his other hand to Sans’ instead. Sans appreciated it. “I should’ve been there to…”

“Don’t fucking start that shit,” Sans cut him off. “It’s _not_ your fault.”

Papyrus sighed. “I know, but… I should’ve been able to find you sooner. I shouldn’t’ve given up looking for you. If Undyne hadn’t set up those cameras…” Sans never would’ve been rescued.

“I sometimes wish she hadn’t.” The words were out of Sans’ mouth before he could even think about them.

Papyrus froze. “Ya don’t really _mean_ that, do you?” He sounded _horrified_ and more than a little upset by that idea.

“I don’t fucking know.” Sans pressed his forehead to Papyrus shoulder, still gripping onto his sleeve. “I-I had _accepted_ that as my life. It was simple and easy, I never had to think about it or anything else. _Now_ I think about it and everything else all the time. And you’re worried and sad about me all the time.” He was little more than a burden to Papyrus. “And just fucking look at me, I still _want_ it to fuck me even though been like two months now.”

“You don’t want that,” Papyrus said in an almost angry tone. “Being… aroused because of… what it did to you _doesn’t_ mean you want it to… fuck you.”

True, his _mind_ didn’t want it to fuck him, but his body did. And his body hadn’t cared about what his mind wanted for ages now. He had no control over it, or where his mind went when he inevitably ended up touching himself.

“And ya don’t want to have not been rescued either,” Papyrus continued, still sounding on the verge of anger while also somehow being compassionate. “Just because things… _seemed_ easier back then, doesn’t mean they were and doesn’t mean they were better. You’re much happier here where you’re safe and no one’s gonna hurt ya anymore.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry I said that.” Sans didn’t want that. He was glad to be home and with Papyrus again even if he was still a broken mess. He was maybe a little selfish for feeling that way since his despair and brokenness dragged Papyrus down to. But as long as Papyrus continued to love him despite that, he didn’t care.

Papyrus sighed heavily. “I’m… sorry ya have go through all this after everything else you’ve been through. It’s not fair and I… wish I could just make it all go away.”

Sans nodded. “Y-yeah, me too.” It wasn’t just going to away because they both wanted it to though, life sadly didn’t work like that. “I hate it.”

“I know. But you’re gonna get through it. We’ll find a way to make it stop eventually. So, everything’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

Sans nodded again even though he wasn’t sure that was ever going to happen. Ignoring it was proving to be difficult and torturous. It was an _awful_ reminder of how far he’d fallen. He just wanted it to _stop_ as soon as possible so he didn’t have to feel or think about it anymore. But the only way to make it go away fast was touching himself which always led to thoughts of his rapist.

“It’s gonna be okay Sans,” Papyrus whispered to him. “It’s gonna go away eventually, ya just gotta hold on until then. You can do that, I _know_ you can that because you’re my super strong baby bro and you can do anything.”

Sans nodded again. Touching himself would allow the problem to continue, possibly for the rest of his life. But if he somehow managed to ignore it every time for long enough then maybe the problem would eventually go away, or at least not be as severe.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and wiping away the tear streaks on his face with the back of his hand before letting go of Papyrus’ sleeve entirely. “Let’s… get back to our game.” It was the only real distraction he had right now. It wasn’t perfect and it was going to be hard but he’d just have to try not to think about his gross arousal. It _had_ to go away eventually. And as long as he was with Papyrus there was no way he’d give in and touch himself.

Papyrus rubbed his shoulder. “Okay.” He stood up and moved to other side of the game board once more. “You’re gonna get through this. Everything’s gonna be okay.”

Sans nodded, wiping way more of his tears with the back of his hand. He hoped with all his soul that Papyrus was right.

They played for a while, Papyrus murmuring soft assurances every so often. Sans did his best to just focus on the game and Papyrus’ promises that he was going to make it through this. Putting the effort in to do so made him feel a bit better, even if he remained disgustingly aroused.

“You’re letting me win,” Sans said after a while. Papyrus had just made a move even _Sans,_ being both bad at the game and not in a very good mindset for this type of thing, recognized as a bad play.

Papyrus hesitated, probably considering denying it despite how obvious it was. Sans was going to be mad if he tried that. “Yeah, I am. I just want ya to be happy.”

Sans sighed. Part of him was grateful for that but another part didn’t want to be treated with kid gloves. He didn’t even care if he won or lost, it made no difference. He was only playing as a distraction anyway.

“Thanks, I guess.” He shrugged. “But you don’t have to. I won’t get upset if I lose.”

“I know but… I want you to win. And even if winning a game of chess isn’t really a big deal or anything I still feel like ya deserve to win at something.”

Sans didn’t know how to respond to that. But he nodded anyway, taking advantage of Papyrus’ intentionally bad move. It didn’t matter if he won or lost so he might as well take the win, even if it was for no other reason than to make Papyrus happy.

It wasn’t long after that, that he got checkmate. He remembered those times in the past when beating Papyrus at a game of chess had been a great victory. He’d lied to himself about being good enough to get past Papyrus’ cheating, even though deep down inside he’d known that Papyrus had merely let him win to make him stop bitching about losing.

“How ya feeling?” Papyrus asked.

Sans shrugged. He was still turned on, though maybe not as much as before. He couldn’t be sure and didn’t want to dwell on it too much else he me start feeling more aroused. “Let’s play another round.” He still needed a distraction.

“’Kay.” Papyrus started setting the pieces back up.

Just like in the first round, Papyrus let him win again. Same with the third, though not by as much, making it seem almost close. Even knowing Papyrus had manipulated the whole thing, Sans still got a small rush of victory from that round.

They were just starting to set up for the fifth round when Sans realized that he was feeling… okay. Without stimulation and with the mental distraction, his unwanted arousal had faded and his pussy had dispelled. He wasn’t quite sure when it had happened since he’d been focused on the game so much, but it was gone.

“It’s gone!” Gosh, he was actually excited about something for once in what felt like centuries. But his arousal was _gone_ and he _hadn’t_ had to hurt or touch himself to make it go away.

Papyrus looked up at him, his expression of surprise quickly morphing into a hopeful smile. “It worked?”

“Yes, it _worked_.” Sans stood up and ran around the table to hug Papyrus tight. “Thank you Pappy, thank you so much.” He would never be able to thank Papyrus enough for this.

“That’s awesome.” Papyrus hugged him back, warm and tight. “See, I told ya everything was gonna be all right.”

Sans nodded, blinking back happy tears. He was almost unable to believe that it was true. “Can… can we do this next time too?” Waiting for it go away on its own sucked in its own way, but touching himself was worse.

“Of course,” Papyrus said. “We can do this anytime ya want, ‘kay? Ya know I’m always gonna be here for ya no matter what.”

“Thank you.” Maybe if he kept doing this for long enough he’d stop reacting like that after he ate. That hope was really all he could hold onto right now.


	19. Vengeance

“I have the dogs.” Alphys voice came through Papyrus’ phone, which was set on speaker so both he and Sans, sitting on the couch next to him, could hear.

Papyrus growled, his relaxed demeaner vanishing as if it had never been, replaced by anger and fury. “ _Where_?” His voice was dripping with the promise of violence.

“Snowdin Prison. Bring Sans,” Alphys said before hanging up.

“I’m gonna make them _suffer_ for hurting you,” Papyrus said, looking at Sans as he pocketed his phone.

Sans nodded. He didn’t want to think about the dogs or what they’d been doing to him. What he’d _let_ them do to him. In truth, he’d prefer not to see them at all and just let Papyrus deal with them. But he didn’t want to argue or make any kind of protest that might upset Papyrus or Alphys.

Papyrus took his hand and teleported them outside Snowdin Prison. Of all the prisons in the Underground this one was the smallest and had the fewest inmates. Sans had been here numerous times, delivering people he’d arrested in the area.

Alphys was waiting for them at the entrance. Standing next to her was Dogamy and Dogaressa. Papyrus growled at the sight of them, his eye flaring orange with magic.

“Don’t,” Alphys interrupted him before he could say anything. “They’re the reason I was able to capture Doggo and his pals so fast.”

“We turned them in when she told us what they did,” Dogaressa growled, stabbing the butt of her of halberd in the snow.

Dogamy bared his fangs in a growl too, deep and menacing. “Rapists don’t deserve to live.”

Sans wasn’t sure how he felt about them knowing that the other dogs had raped him. But he was surprised by their reaction to it. The entire Snowdin dog pack had always been fiercely loyal to each other, never allowing anyone else to hurt another member of their pack no matter what. And they’d protected each other from other people looking to get vengeance on any of them more times than Sans could ever know. But they’d just willingly betrayed three members of their pack because of what they’d raped Sans.

“Oh, thanks.” Papyrus’ anger calmed a bit, though it remained simmering just beneath the surface. “Let’s go then.”

Alphys gestured and they fell in behind her, the dogs marching in the back as if they were some kind of rearguard. “I locked them up in the interrogation room,” she explained. “Normally the punishment for rape is just execution but we can relax that rule a bit. As long as they’re dead when we’re finished with them it doesn’t matter.”

Sans knew from things he’d seen and heard in the past that that rule was often relaxed. He’d known several Guard members who’d hated rapists substantially more than they did serial killers. Heck, he’d interacted with serial killers who despised rapists.

“I’ll be sure to make their suffering last,” Papyrus growled.

The walked in silence until they reached the locked entrance of the interrogation room. “Dogamy, Dogaressa,” Alphys said, pulling out her key to unlock the door. “Stand guard out here.”

“Yes ma’am.” The saluted in unison before positioning themselves on either side of the door.

The door swung open, allowing Sans, Papyrus, and Alphys to enter. She closed it behind them once they were all inside. It locked automatically with a small click.

Sans had rarely been in any of the prisons’ interrogation rooms before, mostly because he preferred patrolling, and never in this one. But it was much like the other ones he’d seen, though a bit smaller in size. The room, like the rest of the prison, was made entirely of cold grey metal. One entire wall had all kinds of torture implements hung up on it for ‘interrogation’ purposes. Everything from whips to various shapes and sizes of knives to pliers and crowbars and some other things he didn’t know the use of.

But it was the center of the room that drew Sans’ attention the most. Doggo was lying spread-eagled on a metal table that resembled an examination table with shackles around his wrists and ankles. Greater Dog and Lesser Dog were set up in temporary stockades in the corner of the room. All three of them were wearing painful looking metal muzzles that muffled the fearful whines they started making as the door swung shut.

Papyrus growled, starting to move closer to them. “I’m gonna…”

“You’re not going to do anything to them,” Alphys cut him off, stepping in front of him block his path.

“What the…” Papyrus began angrily before she cut him off again.

“Sans is going to do it.”

Sans froze, unsure if he’d actually heard her correctly. “What?”

“You’re going to kill them or torture them until they die, whichever you prefer.” Alphys said it like it was an already agreed upon fact.

“But…” Papyrus began. He was visibly rearing to go rip the dogs to shreds.

“They hurt Sans, so it’s Sans who should be getting vengeance on them.”

“But does it really make a difference?” Sans wasn’t sure if he was comfortable doing that. And Papyrus was so eager to do it.

“Yes, it does,” Alphys replied. “From here on out you’re going to kill anyone who tries to hurt you. You’ve been through hell so you’re going to have to relearn how to defend yourself. Your first lesson is getting vengeance for yourself. You need to get it into your mind that when people hurt you, they die by _your_ hand.”

“But he doesn’t…” Papyrus began before she cut him off once more.

“No Papyrus, you or I can’t always be there to protect him. In our fucked up world he _needs_ to be able to defend himself. And that means he needs to be able to hurt people who hurt him. So, you and me are going to stand here and watch Sans do what he needs to do.”

Papyrus hesitated, his eyes flicking from Sans to the center of the room and back to Sans. “What do you wanna do Sans? If ya wanna take care of them you can, I won’t stop ya. But if ya don’t, I can do it instead.” The poorly concealed look of bloodlust on his face said that he desperately wanted to do it himself. But him being him meant he placed Sans’ wishes and happiness above his own. Sans had no idea what he’d done to gain that kind of loyalty but he knew he didn’t deserve it.

Sans sighed, thinking about his options. On one hand letting Papyrus do it would make Papyrus feel better and give him what he wanted. But… Alphys was right, he needed to learn how to defend himself again. If he ever ended up in another situation like the one he’d had with dogs, he probably wouldn’t be as lucky. And maybe hurting the dogs would make him feel better.

“I’ll do it,” he said upon reaching his decision.

Papyrus sighed in disappointment, but made no argument as he stepped back. “Fuck them up, ‘kay? Make them _beg_ mercy. They _deserve_ it.”

“You can make it as fast or short a death as you want Sans,” Alphys said. “It’s up to you. Now me and him are going to shut the fuck up and let you do what you need to do.”

“O-okay.” Sans nodded before turning to face the center of the room once more. Feeling Papyrus and Alphys’ eyes on him, he strode over to stand beside the table Doggo was restrained on. It had clearly been lowered to accommodate for his short stature. Meaning this wasn’t a spur of the moment decision from Alphys.

Doggo’s high-pitched whining increased in volume as Sans got closer. Despite his infamous poor vision his eyes were locked onto Sans, following his every move. They didn’t hold any of the cockiness that had been in them yesterday, but instead looked pleading and fearful as he tugged uselessly at his shackles.

What was Sans supposed to do here? He’d never tortured anyone before or even had any desire to do so. He’d always taken pride in how cleanly and efficiently he could kill his opponents in combat. And he’d never killed anyone in cold blood before. Every time he’d killed someone they’d always been trying to kill him to.

So, he stood there silently for a few seconds, watching Doggo’s futile struggles. He wasn’t so big and strong now, was he? He was just as helpless as Sans had been yesterday. And Sans could do whatever he wanted to him and he wouldn’t be able to do a single thing about it. But what should he do?

Knowing he needed to do something before too much time passed, Sans walked over to the wall with all the torture implements set up on it. After staring at them for several seconds, Doggo’s panicked whining sounding increasingly more desperate, he pulled down one of the knives. It was hefty and looked intimidating with its large blade and serrated edge.

He returned to the table, holding the knife in a way to make sure Doggo would see it, making him whine and whimper in increased fear. Sans twirled the knife in his hand for a bit, watching Doggo’s eyes follow its every move. Then, ignoring Doggo’s attempts to shy away he started cutting off the leather stings keeping the muzzle on Doggo’s snout. Sans was curious about what he might try to say for himself, if anything.

“I’m so sorry Sans,” Doggo stammered as soon as he could speak. “I didn’t mean it, I’m so sorry. Please don’t kill me, please.”

“Like hell ya didn’t mean it,” Papyrus growled with anger and fury from his spot by the door. “You’re _fucking_ lucky Sans is the one killing you, because trust me when I say ya don’t wanna fucking _know_ what I’d be doing to ya right now.”

Doggo whimpered and whined, sounding as if he were already being tortured extensively. “I don’t wanna die. Please Sans I’ll do _anything_ you want me to, just don’t kill me _please_.”

Sans stared blankly at Doggo, searching within himself for any sense of satisfaction, or really any emotion would do. But came up with nothing. He didn’t care and was tempted to just shove the knife through Doggo’s soul and be done with this worthless charade. But Doggo had hurt him so he deserved to be hurt to. And Papyrus wanted Sans to draw this out and make it painful. But how was he supposed to do that?

He took the knife and put its point to Doggo’s shirtless chest, underneath his throat. Ignoring Doggo’s continued please for mercy, he pressed lightly down on it, just hard enough to pierce flesh. Red blood welled up around the cut, matting Doggo’s fur as he whined and whimpered.

“Please Sans, please, I’m so sorry. _Please_ don’t do this to me _please_ , I’ll do _anything_ just don’t do this.” Doggo really was a coward, wasn’t he? Sans hadn’t even _done_ anything yet and he was already crying.

Sans stayed silent and uncaring, ignoring Doggo’s pathetic whining as he started pulling the knife down his torso, leaving behind a thin line of red matted fur. The cut was nothing, Sans was barely even pressing down, but that didn’t stop Doggo from whimpering and squirming as if it were so much more.

How could Doggo be _that_ much of a worthless coward? It had taken soul rape and forced impregnation to break Sans. But Doggo started crying and begging for mercy at just the suggestion of being tortured and killed. The worst part was that Sans had _let_ this sniveling coward rape him.

With a grimace, Sans pulled the knife all the way down to Doggo’s stomach, pausing at the waistband of his shorts as an idea occurred to him. It would be a _very_ fitting punishment.

Sans lifted the knife and moved it over to hover above Doggo’s crotch, right where his dick would be.

“Oh god Sans, _please_ don’t,” Doggo whined, squirming against his cuffs. “Not that, anything but that. _Please_ I’ll do…” He cut off with a piercing yelp of pain as Sans plunged the knife down, burying it all the way to its hilt.

Doggo screamed and writhed in pain, still pulling uselessly at his shackles. _That_ finally gave Sans some satisfaction as he stepped back examine the scene. The knife’s handle was sticking out of Doggo’s crotch and pants like a strange parody of an erection. He _deserved_ this. He’d raped Sans so this was only fair.

Filled with cold fury and hate, Sans wrapped his hand around the knife’s handle again. He pulled it up slowly. Its blade was covered in blood, some of which inadvertently got on his hand, the red standing out sharply against the white of his bones. With a grin, he thrust the knife into Doggo’s crotch again, causing another yelp of pain that left his ‘ears’ ringing.

“You deserve this,” he whispered quiet enough that only Doggo would hear, assuming he could comprehend past his pain.

“Oh god, Sans, please, please, stop.” Doggo’s voice was pitched high with pain as he sobbed and whimpered.

“You didn’t listen to _me_ when I begged you not to rape me, so _why_ the fuck should I listen to you?”

“Sorry, I’m _so_ sorry, I’m…”

Sans pulled the knife up only to plunge it down once more, cutting off Doggo’s meaningless apologies. Somebody deserved to be hurt for what had happened to Sans. This was entirely Doggo’s fault. He _deserved_ it.

Time seemed to lose all meaning as Sans thrust the knife into Doggo, over and over again, reveling in each new scream of pain. Soon the knife destroyed Doggo’s pants, revealing the bloody ruin of what lay underneath. It wasn’t even recognizable as anything more than sliced up flesh and whatever else fleshy monsters were made out of.

Sans thrust the knife down for the umpteenth time and suddenly all resistance disappeared as a sound like glass shattering rang through the air. The knife’s blade clanged, jarring his hand as its tip collided with the metal table.

Panting for air, Sans blinked in confusion at the sight of the table in front of him. A pool of blood was slowly spreading out, dust layered on top of it and covering the rest of the table’s surface. Looking down he saw that his knife and hand were also covered in blood and dust, even soaking the sleeve of his shirt and wrapped bandages underneath.

“I… did it.” He wasn’t sure how he felt about it yet but he’d done it. He’d gotten vengeance for what Doggo had done to him. He’d made Doggo hurt until he died. But… did it make a difference? Was Sans any less broken now?

“Good job Sans.”

Alphys’ voice drew Sans’ attention to her and Papyrus, standing by the door. Sans had forgotten about their presence until just now. They looked… pleased, maybe. Sans couldn’t tell. Nor did he care a whole lot right now.

“Yeah, you did great,” Papyrus said.

“Thanks… I guess.” _Had_ Sans done a ‘good job’?

“Want us to move one of the others to the table now?” Alphys gestured to Greater and Lesser, cowering in corner in their stockades.

“No, I’ll just… take care of them like that.” Sans felt too drained to deal with all that right now. He just wanted to get this over with so he could go home, lie down and think about things for a bit.

With slightly shaky hands, Sans placed the knife down on the table, watching as more dust stuck to its bloodied surface. Now that he was more aware he could tell that Doggo’s blood had gotten on more than just his hands. It was also on his shirt and it felt like some might have splashed on his face, lifting his hand up to check only made it worse. It was still warm and sticky with an odd almost metallic smell, very different from his own magical ‘blood’ even if the function was basically the same.

He walked back to the wall to pull down a heavy sword. He probably still didn’t have enough willpower to make his magic deliver a quick clean blow to end the dogs’ lives, so mundane means would have to do.

The sword’s grip was slick in his blood covered hand as he dragged it across the room, its tip scraping against the floor with a horrible metal on metal sound that almost made him flinch. But thankfully the trip to where Greater and Lesser were restrained was a short one.

Just like Doggo, their eyes locked onto him, fearful and pleading. Maybe he should say something to them about how they deserved this or cut off their muzzles to give them one last chance to speak, even if he wouldn’t understand it. But… he didn’t really care and just wanted this to be done.

He lifted the sword up and held it over Greater’s thick neck, ignoring his pathetic whining. After a couple test swings to get the right angle, he brought it down as hard as he could. He felt the blade jerk in his hands as it bit into Greater’s neckbone, not cutting all the way through. Not caring about Greater’s muffled cries of pain, he lifted the sword again. Bringing it down this time finished the job, separating Greater’s head from his neck before both parts bust into dust as his soul shattered.

Lesser’s neck only took one swing to sever, killing him almost instantly. Sans still didn’t care though as he let the sword drop with a clang to the now dust covered floor. He should pick it up, clean it and put it back in its proper place on the wall, along with the knife. But he didn’t care enough to go through all that trouble.

He turned to face Papyrus and Alphys again, walking towards them. “Let’s go home Pappy, I need a shower.” Doggo’s blood was starting to cool and congeal on his face and hands, making him feel a little nauseous.

Papyrus looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t as he stepped closer to put a hand on Sans’ shoulder. “Okay… I guess we’ll see ya later Alphys.”

“Yes, I’ll be expecting you for training later today.” As always Alphys’ tone allowed for no argument.

Sans sighed, he was too tired to deal with that today. But arguing with Alphys would be futile and he wasn’t in the mood for it. He just wanted to go home, he could figure a way out of it later.


	20. Nothing's Changed

“How ya feeling?” Papyrus asked as Sans stepped out of the bathroom.

“I don’t know.” Sans shrugged, throwing his blood and dust covered clothing into the laundry room. He’d just gotten out of the shower so he was at least clean on the outside even if on the inside he still felt gross. But he’d felt that way for months now and was mostly used to it.

“Is something wrong?” Papyrus asked, following Sans to the living room.

Sans sighed as he lay down on the couch, curled up and facing the TV with his head resting on the arm rest. Papyrus sat at his feet, looking down at him with that worried look in his eyes that he always had. He should be happy though. The dogs were dead, Sans had even made one of their deaths very painful. That’s what Papyrus had wanted, right? So, why wasn’t he still looking at Sans like that?

“I don’t know,” Sans said. He’d killed the dogs for raping him, but he didn’t feel any better. Killing them hadn’t undone what they’d done to him or how he’d responded to it. Just like killing his captor hadn’t changed anything.

The room was silent other than the TV, playing a rerun of a show Sans had seen at least a hundred times. But he wasn’t in the mood to bother with finding the remote to change the channel. And it wasn’t like anything worthwhile would be on any of the other small number of channels available to them anyway.

“You feel any better after killing the dogs?” Papyrus broke the silence.

“I don’t know.”

“C’mon Sans, don’t just say ‘I don’t know’ to every question. If something’s wrong I want ya to tell me.”

“But I really _don’t_ know. I guess I felt a little better when I was stabbing Doggo but…” Sans shrugged, gesturing in frustration “nothing’s changed. I got my… ‘vengeance’ so I should be happy I guess. But I’m not. It doesn’t fucking matter because I’m still little more than a broken sex toy.” It didn’t seem like anything was ever going to change that.

There was a second or two of stunned silence before Papyrus replied. “No, you’re not.” The almost angry tone in Papyrus’ voice made Sans look up to meet his gaze. Not surprisingly he looked worried, sad and upset. “Don’t ever call yourself that again.”

Sans sighed, regretting his words. Not because they weren’t true but because they’d upset Papyrus. “I am though,” he whispered, not sure if he wanted Papyrus to hear him or not. “And nothing’s ever going to change that.”

“But you’re _not_. That _thing_ hurt you and it… put you through a lot of… conditioning, I guess you would call it, but… you’re _not_ a… ‘sex toy’. So, _stop_ thinking of yourself like that.”

Sans shouldn’t be talking about this, he was only upsetting Papyrus. He should just shut up about it right now and refuse to say anything further. But at the same time, part of him wanted Papyrus to understand at least a little bit of how he felt. And he wanted to vocalize his thoughts and feelings out of little more than frustration.

“How can I _not_ be though?” He balled his hand up into a fist, hitting the armrest. “All I’m good for is sex. When Doggo and… and them came to up to… to fuck me, I didn’t even _think_ to fight back. I sat there and _let_ them rape me. And they’re fucking _cowards_. If I wasn’t so _worthless_ I could’ve fought them off. But the thought didn’t even _occur_ to me. So, I sat there and let them fuck me because I’m a fucking sex toy and that’s all I’ll ever be.” Tears welled up in his eyes but he tried to ignore them.

Papyrus placed a gentle hand on Sans’ shoulder. “You’re _not_ a sex toy. No matter what ya think or how you might feel, you’ll _never_ be a sex toy. And I _know_ ya didn’t let the dogs… fuck you. You were…”

“But I _did_ ,” Sans cut him off. “I didn’t even _think_ to fight back. The moment they started fucking me I decided to just let it happen. And… and…” he stammered, choking back a sob as his tears spilled over. “Before Alphys came… it was starting to… I was starting to…”

“What is it Sans?”

Sans took in a deep shuddering breath, his frustration and anger being overtaken by his despair. Since then he’d done such a good job _not_ thinking about it, but here it was on the forefront of his mind and Papyrus was asking him about it. “It was starting to feel… good,” he admitted in a whisper, turning his head into the armrest so he didn’t have to look Papyrus in the eye. “I was starting to… like it.” He couldn’t deny that truth to himself no matter how much he wished he could. “If Alphys hadn’t saved me… I would’ve… I would’ve…” eventually reached climax. Not that orgasming from being raped would’ve been anything new. But he should be past that and fighting back _had_ been an option, but he hadn’t even _considered_ it.

Without saying anything, Papyrus scooped him up into his arms, pulling him onto his lap. Sans hid his face against Papyrus’ chest, latching onto him as if his life depended on it. Didn’t Papyrus ever get tired of Sans crying on him all the time?

Papyrus silently held him close, gently rubbing his back and letting him cry for as long as he needed. “I’m _so_ sorry Sans,” he said once Sans’ tears had mostly petered out. “I promised I’d never let anyone hurt you again but… I failed. I…”

Sans balled up a fist and hit him lightly on the chest to get him to cut off before he could apologize again. “You _didn’t_ fail,” he said. “You did everything you could to protect me. If I hadn’t gone off on my own without you, that wouldn’t have happened. Leaving the house on my own and falling asleep on that bench was _my_ decision and _my_ mistake, _not_ yours. If you had been awake you wouldn’t have let me do that.” Sans was the only person who could be blamed for what happened. He had made several poor decisions in a row and had paid the price for them.

Papyrus sighed, no doubt still finding some way to blame himself for everything bad that had happened to Sans. Why couldn’t he just not do that?

“Sans, I… I don’t know what to do. The dogs are dead now, you killed them but…”

“Nothing’s changed,” Sans finished for him.

“Fuck, maybe I shouldn’t’ve let you anywhere near them. I just thought that maybe them get punished for hurting you would…” Papyrus trialed off with a frustrated half growl.

“It doesn’t undo what they did to me _or_ the fact that I let them and … liked it.” Sans had known from the start that the dogs dying, even painfully, wasn’t going to make a difference. But when given the idea that _he_ would do the hurting and killing, he’d thought that maybe it _would_ make a difference, even a small one. He’d been a fool to think that.

“ _No_ ,” Papyrus growled for real this time. “You _didn’t_ let them do anything. You’ve been hurt too many times before so you were _afraid._ And there were _three_ of them. They would’ve _killed_ you if you’d tried to fight them.”

Given how weak Sans was that was without a doubt true. If he’d tried to put up any real defense they would’ve forced him anyway and probably would’ve killed him afterward. Heck, they might’ve been planning to kill him afterward anyway, even if it was for no other reason than because they feared Papyrus. But he still could’ve at least _thought_ to fight back.

“And ya didn’t like it,” Papyrus continued. “Just because your body reacts to something in a certain way _doesn’t_ mean ya like it or want it.”

Sans sighed, running his mind through Papyrus’ words. That was true, his body and mind had been out of sync for a while now and there was nothing he could do about that. “I guess, maybe, I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. He didn’t even want to talk about this anymore lest he’d start crying again. “I just wish that things could go back to how they’d been before. Back when nobody messed with me.” The dogs never would’ve dared try anything like that back then. “But I know that’s never going to happen, even if I ever do get… ‘better’ somehow.”

“I know.” Papyrus sighed. “I’d give anything and everything to erase what happened to you.” He sounded like he meant it, that he would truly be willing to sacrifice everything to erase the hell Sans had gone through. “But it’s gonna get better eventually. Everything’s gonna be fine even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.”

Sans wasn’t sure if he believed that but nodded anyway. “I hope so,” he whispered.

Papyrus stayed silent for a little while, just holding Sans close to his chest. “You’ve already started making some progress towards getting better. So, I know it’s gonna happen, ya just gotta keep working at it.”

“I… have?” Confused, Sans tilted his head up to look at Papyrus.

“Yeah, you have.” Papyrus nodded. “We found a way to deal with your eating problem. We probably should’ve worked on it sooner but… I didn’t think about a whole lot, I’m sorry. Better late than never though, right?”

“Oh, I guess you’re… right.” That _was_ progress. He could finally deal with his disgusting arousal without giving into it and touching himself, that was a big relief. And if he could keep it up for long enough his eating problem might go away one day. Getting rid of that would be _huge_.

“And you’re finally talking to me about stuff. I know that has to be hard so I’m very proud of you.”

Sans froze, taking a moment to fully comprehend Papyrus’ meaning. “Why would you be proud of me for that?” All talking to Papyrus about ‘stuff’ did was make him upset.

“Just ya know.” Papyrus shrugged slightly. “I know it’s hard to talk about how ya feel and stuff. And I know ya don’t like making me upset by telling me about it. But I can’t try to help if I don’t know what’s wrong. And keeping everything bottled up inside can’t be good. So… I’m really glad you’re finally actually talking about it instead of trying to say that you’re ‘fine’ all the time.”

“Oh, okay.” Sans wasn’t sure if that really counted as progress but he didn’t want to argue with Papyrus again.

They sat in silence for a little while after that. Sans allowed himself to relax, resting his head against Papyrus’s chest. He was warm and safe, that was all that mattered right now. He really was super clingy, wasn’t he? But at least Papyrus didn’t seem annoyed by it… yet, and just held him.

Comforted by the gentle rise and all of Papyrus’ chest as he breathed and the droning of the TV, Sans eventually started to drift off. Last night had been the best night’s sleep he’d had in months, so why was he still so tired today? He shouldn’t be, sleeping all day wouldn’t be good for him. But he couldn’t help it and didn’t care nearly as much as he probably should.

“Sans?” Papyrus’ voice brought him back from the edge sleep.

“Yeah?” he said, lifting his head up a little.

“We probably shouldn’t spend the day sleeping.” Papyrus’ voice suggested that he was tired too and might have also been starting to fall asleep despite the time of day. “We gotta go out and do… stuff.” He made a vague gesture with one of his hands.

“I know.” Sans sighed. They had to go to Undyne’s place to visit the babies and after that to Alphys’ for training. But the thought of doing either of those things today made him want to curl up into a ball and try to pretend he didn’t exist. “I don’t want to though.”

Papyrus sighed too. “Yeah, me too.”

“Can we just… not?” Sans asked hopefully.

“But we gotta, if we don’t…”

“Just for today?” Sans cut him off. “The last couple of days have been really… difficult.” Difficult was certainly one way to put it. In truth, they’d been the worst couple of days since he’d been rescued. And Papyrus was no doubt not doing much better. “And we already _did_ stuff today, we dealt with the dogs. So… can we… slack off, _just_ for the rest of today? Please. We can do everything we need to do tomorrow.” Skipping his responsibilities today probably wouldn’t be good for him but all he wanted to do right now was relax and do nothing with Papyrus. Just one day of that after everything that had happened yesterday and the night before wasn’t too much to ask for, was it?

“Fucking hell Sans.” Papyrus groaned. “It’s like ya know the exact excuses I was coming up to try to get outta doing anything today.”

Sans had already basically won this battle if Papyrus was thinking along the same lines as him. “Please Pappy, just for today.” He could remember when he’d been strongly against avoiding responsibility, even for a short a time. He used to get furious at Papyrus for all the times he’d slacked off, skipping work and not going to agreed-upon meetings as well as a host of other things. But here was Sans, wanting to slack off and even having to convince Papyrus to do so.

“All right yeah, fuck it,” Papyrus gave in as Sans knew he would. “We can slack off for the rest of the day. Alphys is gonna be pissed but she can go fuck herself. I’ll even show ya my old hiding spot in case she wants to come looking for us.”


	21. Slacking Off

Papyrus’ hiding spot turned out to be a bench in cave in Waterfall. It appeared to be abandoned with nothing but a wilted echo flower growing next to it. It was overlooking the endless drop into the abyss, a couple meters away. They’d teleported here so Sans couldn’t know how far away it was from the river that flowed into the abyss but he could neither see nor hear it from here.

Before leaving Papyrus had texted Alphys, letting her know that Sans wasn’t going to train with her today. They’d left before she’d responded and had both left their phones at home so they wouldn’t have to deal with any possible backlash on her part, not until tomorrow anyway.

“So, this is always where you went to hide from me?” Sans asked as they sat down on the bench next to each other. He’d always suspected that Papyrus had a hidey hole somewhere.

“Not from you,” Papyrus said. “From having to go to work and clean my room and all that stuff.”

“Yeah, but I was the one yelling at you about all that.” Sans remembered how mad he’d gotten on several occasions about Papyrus not showing up to work or missing something else important. It was odd to think about now, like he was thinking about another person’s actions and not his own. How could he have yelled at Papyrus like that? And how could he have had enough energy to even care in the first place?

“Yeah but, ya know…” Papyrus shrugged, trailing off with a sigh. His voice lowered to a whisper. “I miss those days.”

“Why?” Sans drew his legs up to hug them to his chest and rest his head on his knees. “I was huge jerk to you.”

“Sometimes yeah, I guess ya were. But that was only because ya liked things being a certain way. Ya wanted me to be just as diligent about work and stuff as you were. And when I wasn’t, ya got annoyed with me because ya thought I was wasting my life.”

“I’m sorry I was like that. It wasn’t fair, I just…” Sans couldn’t even fully recall what his problem had been. Yeah, Papyrus had lazed around a lot, avoiding work and seemingly refusing to clean his room, but that didn’t excuse any of the mean things Sans had said to him. The worst part was he couldn’t remember if he’d truly meant them at the time or if he’d just been saying them out of anger and annoyance. “I was really awful. Pappy, I’m sorry. I…”

“Nah bro, it’s cool,” Papyrus cut him off. “I always knew ya never meant it. And I always did it to myself with how often I went out of my way to be as lazy as possible, even knowing you were gonna yell at me for it.”

Sans sighed. “But still… I’m sorry I was so mean to you, especially after everything you did for me even before all this… bullshit.” For as long as Sans could remember Papyrus had always placed him first.

“It’s all right, I forgive you.”

“You do?” Sans turned his head to look at Papyrus.

“Of course, I do. I forgave ya for all that shit a long time ago. So, don’t worry ‘bout it anymore, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Sans wasn’t sure if he deserved forgiveness but this was Papyrus, his big brother who loved him no matter how much of jerk he was or how broken he became. “Thanks.”

“Anytime bro,” Papyrus said. “But uh… ya mind if I smoke? It just that this was always where I went to do it so…”

Sans remembered when he used to strongly dislike it when Papyrus smoked and had made a big deal about it every time he did it in the house. These days though, Papyrus never smoked in the house and seemed to have cut down on it quite a bit. No doubt because of how much time he was spending with Sans. It didn’t matter anymore though. “Sure, go ahead.”

Papyrus pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He put one between his teeth and flicked his lighter under it until the flame took.

“Can I… try one?” Sans asked in a tentative whisper. Where had this idea even come from? “Please.”

Papyrus froze, his hand halfway to his pocket to put his cigarettes away. “Uh… sure if ya really want to. I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t let you. But ya really sure ya wanna do this? I thought ya always said ya hated them.”

“Yeah, but… I want to try one,” Sans said with confidence he didn’t feel. “You’ve said before that it uh… helps you relax. So, maybe it might help me a little too. And I know it’s not… a good solution or anything but I’m just so…” He wasn’t sure what words would describe how he felt. He wanted to sleep all the time to forget everything but that never worked because of the nightmares. Leaving him with no real escape from his thoughts other than distraction.

“Yeah, okay.” Papyrus nodded, pulling another cigarette out and handing it to him. “We’re slacking off and avoiding responsibility today anyway.”

Sans accepted the cigarette, holding it still while Papyrus lit it for him. He stared at curling smoke coming off the burning end of it for several seconds before lifting it to his mouth. He breathed the smoke in and almost instantly was struggling not to cough. He didn’t have any lungs but it seemed to burn anyway.

“You okay bro?” Papyrus asked.

“Yep, I'm good.” Sans’ voice was strained from holding back his need to choke on the smoke he’d inhaled as he breathed it out. He forced himself to take another smaller draw on the cigarette. He’d asked for this so he wasn’t going to chicken out on it. He could handle a little discomfort.

“’Kay, if ya sure,” Papyrus said. “Just be careful.”

Sans nodded his assent, too focused on not coughing to say anything.

After a minute or two he started to get used to it. His lack of lungs probably making it easier to adjust. The smoke tasted almost exactly like how it smelled. That would’ve bothered him once upon a time, when that smell had seemed unpleasant. But he’d grown to like it since it clung to all of Papyrus’ clothing, causing him to smell it every time Papyrus held and comforted him.

He pushed himself to take a slightly deeper breath of smoke, searching for the calm that was supposed to come from this as he stared out at the abyss. It’s like the bench was put here for the sole reason to look out at it. Why would anyone want to do that though? There was nothing out there except empty blackness.

What would it be like to step off into it? How long would it be before he hit the bottom? Would it hurt? Or would he die so fast he wouldn’t feel anything?

He shook his head, tearing his gaze away from it as he realized what he was thinking about. He couldn’t do that to Papyrus.

He sighed, taking another long draw on his cigarette, the need to cough on it almost entirely gone now. He had used to be very confused about why people would want to kill themselves. The concept had been so far beyond him that it had often made him angry when he’d heard about how often it occurred. Yeah sure, the Underground sucked, but everyone else dealt with it so why couldn’t suicidal people just suck it up too? Could he have been any less sympathetic?

“Pappy?” he said, noting that his cigarette was about half gone by now.

“Yeah?”

“I never… thanked you for the other night, when I… ya know. I probably would’ve… died if it wasn’t for you. So… thanks.”

“Yeah, I’m…” Papyrus sighed, putting his free hand on Sans’ shoulder. “I’m really glad you’re all right. But uh is it okay if I ask… what made you… do that?” His grip on Sans’ shoulder tightened a little, his hand trembling slightly.

Sans sighed, taking a few seconds to order his thoughts before replying. “I… woke up from a nightmare, one of the worst one I’ve had in a while. It was one of the ones where it uh… put its eggs in me and uh… my body was… saying stuff and acting like I… _wanted_ that to happen. And I was… forced to watch and… feel it, unable to do or say anything for myself.” Just thinking about it had tears threatening to form in his eyes. _Did_ some small part of him want that? Why would he keep dreaming about it otherwise? “When I woke up… I wanted it to… stop.” He wasn’t going to mention how he’d call out for Papyrus. “The nightmares and all the bad feelings… I just wanted to it all to go away and never come back. I wasn’t even really thinking about it as… suicide or… killing myself. I just wanted to… not feel things anymore. I don’t even remember doing it other than… looking for the knife.”

“I’m so sorry Sans. After that ya go out and… the dogs…” Papyrus took a long draw on his cigarette, finishing it off before dropping it on the ground and snuffing it out with his shoe. He bowed his head, hunching his shoulders as he put hand to his forehead, partially blocking his eyes from Sans’ view.

“Yeah,” Sans said in a whisper. He’d rather not think about the dogs ever again. They were dead and gone, it was time to move on. And what they’d done to him wasn’t worse than anything else he’d been through before, they hadn’t even finished. So, he shouldn’t be bothered by it, or at least not as much as he was. “I’m sorry I tried to… do that though. I could never… put you through that, especially after everything you’ve done for me.”

Papyrus sighed, lifting his sorrowful gaze to meet Sans’ once more. “Is that… the only reason you don’t… want to do that?” he asked in a whisper, clearly hoping for a ‘no’ but fearing a ‘yes.’

“I…” Sans paused, searching within himself for any other reason he’d have to want to stay alive. Maybe because he didn’t want to disappoint Alphys. But would that reason alone be enough to keep him going? “I… think so, yeah.” He admitted with a nod, finishing off his own cigarette and dropping it on the ground to snuff it out. Papyrus would’ve known if he’d lied and that probably would’ve upset him more than the truth.

Papyrus sighed, pulling out another cigarette. “I guess that’ll do for now.” He offered Sans another cigarette too. “Let’s not talk about it anymore though, ‘kay? Let’s just relax and enjoy the fact that we’re dodging our responsibilities.”

Sans nodded, accepting the offered cigarette. He could worry about the babies and training with Alphys again as well as everything else tomorrow. For now, he was content to relax and do nothing with Papyrus.

They spent the rest of the day doing just that. Sans did his best not to think about anything heavy, casual conversation with Papyrus helped a lot. They eventually teleported back to Snowdin to stroll through Snowdin Wood, ending by sitting at the door to the Ruins, another spot Papyrus had used go to avoid everything. It was peaceful and quiet since few people bothered to go all the way out there.

They made an unspoken agreement to skip lunch. Sans was grateful Papyrus hadn’t even brought it up. Despite everything he was feeling kind of not bad. Eating, even with the solution they’d found to his problem, would ruin it. He’d of course have to deal with it after supper, but he could worry about that when he got there.

But alas, they eventually had to go back home as the lamps started to dim as ‘nighttime’ approached. Meaning that it was time for dinner and all that came with it.

“Ya want help with supper?” Papyrus asked after teleporting them into the kitchen.

“No, I can do it,” Sans replied. He didn’t _want_ to but he could do it. Papyrus’ help probably wouldn’t be all that useful anyway.

“’Kay, I’ll uh be the living room if ya need me, all right?”

Sans nodded, wringing his hand together as Papyrus left the kitchen. He _really_ didn’t want to deal with right now. He’d rather just skip the whole thing and go to sleep. But he couldn’t do that. Papyrus would be upset if he tried and would end up guilt-tripping him into eating anyway.

So, with a tired groan he set to work making quesadillas. Again, something easy that he didn’t have to force himself to put a whole lot of effort into making.

He finished and again he and Papyrus sat across from each other as they ate. Sans ate slowly, wanting to put off the reaction for a little bit longer. Though, as much as he wished he could, he couldn’t put it off forever.

“Ugh…” he groaned as his pussy formed in his pelvis. “I hate this.” He squeezed his legs together as if that could somehow make it better.

“I know.” Papyrus stood up to put their plates in the sink and pull out the chess the board. He placed it on table, sitting down to set up the pieces. They’d already turned the TV on in the living room to provide constant background noise. “But it’s gonna be okay. Just like earlier, your gonna make it through this.”

“Yeah.” Sans nodded, wiping away unshed tears. “It’s… going to okay, it’s going to go away on its own. Everything’s going to be fine.” His voice sounded almost robotic.

“Yeah, that’s the spirit.” Papyrus smiled encouragingly at him.

Sans did his best to smile back as he took the first turn. If he could keep this up for long enough the reaction might go away eventually. And then things really would be a lot better. He just had to hold on until then.

Just like last time, Papyrus let him win every round. Sans still didn’t care a whole lot but appreciated it anyway.

“It’s gone,” he said with a sigh of relief once he realized it after winning the fourth round. “Thank you.” He stood up and walked around the table to hug Papyrus. “Thank you.”

Papyrus hugged him back. “Anytime time, bro, anytime.”


	22. Nightmares

“Pappy can I…” Sans trialed off. Was he really about to ask for this? Was he really that much like a fearful needy child?

“What is it Sans?” Papyrus asked, looking down at Sans. They were standing in the living room next to the stairs, about to go up them and to bed. “Ya know ya can always ask me for anything, right?”

Sans nodded. “Can I… sleep in your room tonight… with you?” he said in a whisper. “It’s just that last night I didn’t have any nightmares so…” maybe Papyrus could keep the nightmares away tonight too.

“Of course, ya can. Your blanket is kinda… ya know, anyway.”

Sans had seen his blanket a little while ago when Papyrus had pulled it out of the dryer. There was a large purplish stain on it from Sans’ blood soaking into the other night. It was clean from the wash but… Sans wasn’t sure if he’d be comfortable sleeping under it with the reminder of his dumb mistake being so prominent on it.

“Thanks,” Sans said. If sleeping next to Papyrus could make the nightmares go away then… things would be great. All he’d have to worry about anymore is his own dark thoughts.

Papyrus led the way up to his room. He held the door open, letting Sans in first before swinging it shut behind them.

Sans sighed, looking around the room. It was a mess, the biggest mess it had probably ever been. Even if Papyrus now took the time to keep the rest of the house clean, he still apparently didn’t care to keep his own room clean.

Maybe Sans should clean it for him. But… that would take so much time and effort. And did it really matter? It was just going to get dirty again anyway.

“You gonna tell me to clean my room?” Papyrus asked.

Sans sighed again. “No, I don’t really care.” Why had he ever cared?

“Oh.” Papyrus sounded disappointed. But he didn’t say anything else as he switched off the lights and walked to his bed. He lay down on the far side of it and moved the blanket back as an invitation for Sans to join him.

Sans followed, sitting on the edge of the bed before lying down, facing Papyrus. “If you want me to tell you to clean your room, I can. But it doesn’t really make a big difference to me right now.”

“Yeah, I know,” Papyrus said with a sigh. “That’s okay though. It uh gives me an excuse to be lazy, right?” His smile was forced.

“I’m sorry, I just… don’t have enough energy to care about stuff like that anymore. I know I should but… I don’t.” What good would having a clean house do when Sans would always feel like a gross disgusting whore on the inside? And it was just going to get dirty again anyway, so why bother putting so much time and effort into it?

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I shouldn’t’ve even brought it up.” Papyrus sighed again.

Sans nodded as they lapsed into a kind of awkward silence. Despite his now usual tiredness, he didn’t feel like he could fall asleep yet. It took him a little bit to figure out why.

“Pappy can…” he cut himself off. Before Papyrus could ask him what was wrong, he cuddled closer. “Last night we slept like this,” he said as Papyrus arms seemed to almost automatically encircle him. “And you were…” Sans trailed off, unable to say what Papyrus had been doing.

“Yeah, okay. Ya know, I’ll always do whatever ya need me to,” Papyrus said, a small smile almost audible in his voice. “Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise. I’ll keep ya safe from the nightmares and everything else.”

Sans hummed his thanks as he allowed himself to relax, his eyelids growing heavy as he listened to Papyrus continuing to whisper soft assurances to him. If last night was anything to go by then Papyrus would keep him safe from the nightmares. Meaning it was safe to fall asleep as long as he was somewhere nearby.

 

_There were marks on the cave wall. Sans had used his sharpened fingers tips to make them. He didn’t know how many there were and he couldn’t count them even as he stared at them. They seemed to shift and dance, sometimes it seemed like there only one or two, other times there were at least ten._

_He put a hand over the large swell of his pregnant belly. He was waiting for something important. It had something to do with the marks on the wall and the eggs inside his womb. He wasn’t sure what it was though, only that it was important._

_There was a sound of something surfacing in the water behind him. He finally tore his gaze away to look at the tentacle monster._

_“Can I come out?” he asked._

_“Of course,” it replied._

_Sans stood. The bells on the cell door rang loudly as he pushed in opened. He walked over to sit in front of his captor. Its tentacles instantly moved to touch him, lovingly petting and stroking his belly. He relaxed, this felt good that’s all that mattered until the thing happened._

_“Can I have a bath?” Sans was dirty from… something. He needed a bath. “I’ve been a good pet, so I can please have a bath?”_

_“Remember you have work for it,” his captor replied._

_“Yeah.” Sans nodded. “Can you fuck me? Please fuck me.” It didn’t matter, sex felt good and gave him something to do. And he’d get a bath afterward. “I want you to fuck me. I_ need _you to fuck me right now please.”_

_“You’re very cute, ya know that?”_

_“Yeah, I’m a cute pet, so fuck me please.” Sans spread his legs, summoning his pussy for it. He was already dripping wet with anticipation too. His body had gotten used to this role a long time ago. “Fuck me until I can’t think straight, please.”_

_Finally, it summoned its tentacle-dick. It pushed right into his waiting pussy. He moaned in pleasure, clenching around it as each thrust filled him perfectly. It’s like his pussy had been made for this thing._

_“I like it, I love it,” he said as if he were trying to convince himself. “Feels good.”_ That _at least was true, it did feel good. And nothing else mattered until the thing with the marks on the wall and eggs in his womb happened._

“Sans, wake up.”

_Sans clenched his eyes shut, trying to block out the voice. He put all his attention towards how his captor’s dick felt thrusting into him. “I like it, I want it,” he said. Was that true? It didn’t matter._

“C’mon Sans, ya gotta wake up.”

_“No,” Sans tried to tell the voice. He wanted to stay here. Leaving right now would be bad._

 

But his eyes fluttered open anyway, the dream shredding to nothing. He was someplace dark. His pussy was manifested in his pelvis, dripping wet with arousal and painfully empty. He was panting as he pressed his body up against… Papyrus.

 Shock, horror, and disgust flooded through him. He jerked, pushing himself away.

“Whoa, hey.” Papyrus grabbed hold of one his arms, stopping him from falling off the bed.

Tears flooded Sans’ eyes. “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Papyrus assured him. “You were having a nightmare so I woke ya up. Everything’s okay now.”

Sans shook his head. It wasn’t okay. Nothing was okay. He’d been having one of his disgusting sex dreams with Papyrus _right_ there and they’d been hugging. Did it get any more shameful and disgusting than that?

Papyrus’ arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. “You’re okay now, it was just a dream,” he said, sitting up and leaning back against the wall with Sans in his arms and on his lap.

Sans whimpered. He was hot and painfully aroused and he wanted something to fuck him. And that something was _not_ his brother. His captor had always held him when it fucked him, petting his pregnant belly and wrapping its tentacles around him, preventing him from escaping even if he’d tried. This wasn’t the same but…

Normally when Papyrus held him it was comforting, made him feel safe. Now though he was all too aware of how restrained he was, how little he could move without Papyrus allowing it, how he couldn’t escape if Papyrus didn’t let him.

“Stop,” Sans whimpered in a choked whisper. He couldn’t breathe and needed this to stop before he suffocated. “Stop please stop. Let me go.” His voice got louder as he spoke, ending in yell as he pushed against Papyrus’ chest in a desperate attempt for freedom.

Papyrus _immediately_ let go, letting him roll off his lap and onto the bed. Sobbing with relief, Sans curled up in a ball and wrapped his arms around his head to hide his face and tears.

“I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry. Are you hurt? Are you okay?” Papyrus sounded almost panicked.

“D-don’t touch me, please,” Sans begged.

“Okay, okay, I’m not gonna touch you. I promise I’m not gonna touch you if you don’t want me to, okay?”

Sans nodded, but still kept his body and head turned away. “Don’t hold me when I’m… like this. Please I can’t… just don’t hold me when I’m… all gross like this.” His voice was broken up by hiccupping sobs.

“I won’t. I _promise_ I’ll never hold ya when you’re like that again. I’m _really_ sorry I did this time. I didn’t… I didn’t know.” Papyrus almost sounded like he wanted to cry too. “Are you okay? Do ya need me to get ya anything? Do… do ya want me to… leave?” That last sentence was spoken in a whisper, barely audible over the sound of Sans’ sobbing.

“No, no, don’t leave.” Sans froze up in terror at the thought of being left alone, abandoned with his dark thoughts and misery. “Please don’t leave, please, please don’t leave me alone, please…”

“Okay, all right, I’m not gonna leave. I’m right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

Sans whimpered, turning his head to look up at Papyrus through tear-filled eyes. He was sitting next to him, his hands hovering awkwardly and making small grasping motions. But despite how much he clearly wanted to touch Sans he didn’t. He looked almost afraid to.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” Sans didn’t know what else to say. Papyrus had only been trying to comfort him but he’d freaked out about it.

“No Sans, _I’m_ sorry. I… I hurt you. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to but… I did and I’m really sorry.”

Sans whimpered again, curling up tighter and turning his head away once more to cry into bed beneath him. He’d been a stupid fool to think that sleeping next to Papyrus would make the nightmares stop. He’d only made things worse for both of them.

He froze as something light and soft landed on him. Looking up at last, he saw that Papyrus had laid the blanket back over his huddled form, being careful not to touch him. Sans reached out to take his hand, while keep the rest of his body curled in on itself.

“I’m sorry I freaked out.” He squeezed Papyrus’ hand, looking up at him through his tears. “I just… can’t and I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay Sans, it’s okay.” Papyrus put both hands over his, highlighting just how small his hands were especially in comparison to Papyrus’ own. “Everything’s gonna be okay. If I ever do anything ya don’t want me to, let me know and I’ll stop.”

Sans nodded, sniffling as he continued to squeeze Papyrus’ hand as if it were a lifeline keeping him grounded in reality. Tears were still almost pouring from his eyes as he started taking deep breaths to try and quell his desperate sobs.

“You’re okay Sans, everything’s gonna be okay.” Papyrus gently stroked the back of his hand, not complaining about his tight grip, even squeezing back slightly.

After a while Sans’ breathing started to even out as his tears began to slow. Once he was sure he was done crying, for now anyway, he uncurled his body and sat up. Taking a shaky breath, he wiped at his face with the heel of one hand, still holding Papyrus’ hand with the other. “I can’t…” he whimpered, fresh tears threatening to form in his eyes. “My magic’s still…” manifested as a pussy in his pelvis, aching with arousal. Why did he have to gross sex dreams too? _Did_ part of him what the tentacle monster to rape him again?

“Yeah, I know and it’s okay,” Papyrus said. “We’ll wait it out like we do with your eating problem, all right?”

“O-okay.” If it worked for his eating problem it would work for this too, right? So, at _least_ he wouldn’t have to touch himself.

Papyrus teleported them downstairs to the kitchen, placing Sans on one of the chairs. After flipping on the lights and briefly leaving to turn on the TV, he pulled out the chess board again. He placed it on the table as he sat on the other side of the table from Sans. “Everything’s gonna be fine.” His hands shook a tiny bit as he started setting up the pieces. “We’ll take care of it.”

Sans nodded, swallowing back his need to tear up again. Could tonight have turned out any worse?

By the start of the third round Papyrus was half asleep again, it was the middle of the night after all. But he didn’t complain.

“I-I’m sorry about all this,” Sans said. He was tired too, though that was nothing new. “You can go back to bed if you want.”

“Nah, I’m fine,” Papyrus said, stifling a yawn. “And ya don’t gotta apologize.”

“But it’s the middle of night, you should be sleeping.”

“Yeah, but you’re more important.” Papyrus shrugged. “I don’t mind, really. I wouldn’t be able to sleep, knowing how upset ya are anyway. So, don’t worry about it, ‘kay?”

Sans sighed, nodding as he took his turn. Why had he thought sleeping next to Papyrus would be a good idea? The fact that he hadn’t had nightmares the other night didn’t mean anything. Papyrus couldn’t keep him safe from the demons in his own mind, nothing could.

It wasn’t until after Papyrus had let him win the sixth round that San realized his arousal was gone. He let out a sigh of relief, pushing himself to feet. “It’s gone.”

Papyrus, who seemed to be barely awake by now, perked up. “Good.” He nodded, as if shaking off sleep further. “Does that mean I can hold ya again?”

How fucked up was it that his own brother had to ask him if it was okay to hug him? “Yeah, you can hold me again.” Sans moved closer to hug Papyrus while he was still sitting. “Thanks for helping me.”

Papyrus squeezed him tight. “I’m so sorry ya gotta go through all of this. And I’m sorry I can’t help more with the nightmares.”

“It’s fine,” Sans said. “I just… have to deal with them I guess.” He’d rather not, they were awful. But it’s not like he had a choice. Staying up all night wouldn’t be good for him and would only make him feel worse.

“Let’s go back to bed.” Papyrus stood up, lifting Sans too, cradling him in his arms.

“I don’t want to.” Sans didn’t want to sleep next to Papyrus ever again.

Papyrus froze. “But…”

“I think I’ll watch some TV for a bit and fall asleep on the couch.” He seemed to have nightmares less often when he slept on the couch with the TV on. That was only because he couldn’t sleep as deeply on the less comfortable couch with the TV blaring. But he didn’t care.

“All right, I’ll join ya then.” Papyrus started walking again, taking Sans to the living room and sitting on the couch. He sat so that Sans was on his lap, not holding him tight or close though.

“You don’t have to,” Sans said.

“But I want to.” Papyrus grabbed the remote off the armrest to turn down the volume some, it having been on loud enough to be heard in the kitchen. “If ya _really_ don’t want me here, I’ll leave, but…”

Sans sighed. “You can stay.” He didn’t want to be alone anyway.

“Okay, I’ll stay then.” Papyrus relaxed back against the couch, still mostly keeping his hands to himself. It was like he was going out of his way to make sure Sans didn’t feel trapped or restrained. Sans appreciated the gesture but wished he wouldn’t, he felt safer when Papyrus held him close. But he wasn’t going to say anything about it, especially right now.

It wasn’t even five minutes before Papyrus was fast asleep. He’d always been able to fall asleep anywhere at any time, no matter how much surrounding noise there was.

Sans allowed himself to relax some too, watching but not really paying attention to the TV. “Goodnight Pappy.”


	23. Touching

“I’m… a little afraid of them,” Sans said, looking up at Papyrus. They’d just teleported to Undyne’s to visit the babies and were standing outside the gate. Sans’ had pulled Papyrus back before opening the gate, wanting to get this off his chest. Maybe Papyrus would know something that might help him feel better.

“Yeah, I thought so,” Papyrus said. “That’s understandable though, ya know… with everything that happened surrounding them.”

Of course Papyrus had known he was afraid of them. It’s not like he’d done a good job hiding it. It didn’t matter though.

“And I don’t want to be a… mom.” That role didn’t fit him at all. He didn’t even think of them as his children most of the time, thinking of them as ‘the babies’ or the ‘octopus babies’ instead, even though they called him ‘Mama’ and he’d given birth to them.

Papyrus thought for a few seconds before replying. “You… don’t have to keep coming to see them if ya don’t want to. Undyne’s mostly rising them already anyway. She may not be the best surrogate parent but she’s doing pretty good. So, they’d be fine even if ya never came to see them again.”

Sans sighed. _Did_ he want to stop coming to visit them? He was literally afraid of them and they were reminders of what he’d gone through. Heck, they were the main reason he’d been forced to go through all of that to begin with.

But at the same time, he _was_ their… mother and only surviving parent whether he liked it or not. And they were always so happy and excited to see him. _And_ , even if he’d hated them at the time, they’d technically been the only thing keeping him from completely losing himself during the months of his pregnancy. Who knows how much more broken he would’ve become if he hadn’t been able to cling to the idea of freedom after the eggs hatched for most of his time as a sex slave? Not to mention, after he’d given birth to them, they’d given him something to think about and focus on that wasn’t his rapist. So, he owed them something, right?

“I don’t know,” Sans said. “I don’t think abandoning them would feel… right. I just… wish they weren’t the same monster type as their… dad.” He almost choked on that last word. He’d never referred to his captor as the babies’ dad before, even in his own mind, despite it being true.

“That’s okay, I was just letting ya know that that’s an option,” Papyrus said. “But I’m… curious, do you uh… do you care about them? Like as your children or offspring or whatever ya wanna call it. It’s perfectly okay if ya don’t.”

Sans froze. _Did_ he care about them like that? They were his kids so maybe he was supposed to, even with how they’d come to be. But did he care about them the way a mother was supposed to? He didn’t even know what that meant since he couldn’t remember his own mother.

“I… don’t know,” he said after some thought. “I don’t know how I feel about them. Other than I’m a little afraid of them and like how they’re always happy to see me. I’d be sad if they died or got hurt, so I guess I do care about them at least a little bit but… I just… don’t know if it’s really… like that.”

“I see,” Papyrus said. “That’s… understandable. Things are… complicated with them.”

“What about you?” Sans asked. He’d have to think about that question for himself later but he wanted to know what Papyrus thought too. “How do you feel about them? They’re your nieces and nephews so how do you feel about them?”

“Gosh I…” Papyrus took a breath, glancing towards the gate. “I don’t know. It’s… I don’t know.”

Sans waited, tapping his foot as he looked up at Papyrus. He wanted a better answer than that. He’d given a better answer himself after all and Papyrus had to have more of an opinion than ‘I don’t know’.

“Yeah, all right, okay.” Papyrus let out a resigned sigh. “I try not to… think about how I feel about them much but uh… part of me doesn’t want to like them because of… ya know.” He made a vague gesture with his hand. “But I know you care about them at least a little bit so I do to. And they like me too so…” He shrugged. “I don’t know how to feel about them.”

Sans nodded, satisfied with that answer. He’d suspected that Papyrus would only care about them because Sans did.

“Let’s go see them,” he said. He pulled out the key to the gate, trying not to think about how he’d reacted to them last time he’d visited. Papyrus was here now though so it should be fine. “I still have to go to Alphys’ for training later so…” they were limited on time. He shrugged.

“You gonna be okay hanging out with them?” Papyrus asked.

Sans paused, his hand on the gate, getting ready to push it open. “I’ll be fine… I think, as long as you’re here anyway.” The only times he’d gotten close to losing it was when Papyrus wasn’t there. With them getting bigger it was only a matter of time before he got scared even with Papyrus there, but for now he would be okay, hopefully.

Taking a deep steadying breath, he gave the gate a light push, letting it swing open. Stepping through it, they were greeted with a chorus of mostly nonsense happy noises. Sprinkled in was the occasional ‘Mama’ and their best attempts at saying ‘Uncle Pappy’. Papyrus had taught them to say that the day after they’d learned ‘Mama’.

They sounded cute, both in their voices and in their enthusiasm at seeing Sans and Papyrus again. Why did they have to be almost terrifying too?

“Hey guys.” Sans forced a smile for them. Things might have been easier if there weren’t so many of them. But he couldn’t do anything about that.

Papyrus moved to sit closer to them. They reached out to touch him, some even crawled onto his lap.

Sans forced himself to move closer too, sitting next to Papyrus. They reached out to touch him as well, wrapping their small tentacles around his arms as they crawled onto him. They were full of energy, more so than usual, no doubt excited to see them after so long.

Why did they have to like touching so much though? Why couldn’t they be content with Sans sitting next to them? Why did they have to touch him too? Why couldn’t they stick to only touching Papyrus? He wasn’t bothered by their them touching him.

“You okay Sans?” Papyrus asked.

“Yeah, I’m… okay.” Sans nodded. It was okay, they weren’t going to hurt him. So, he was okay. They were small and their tentacles were thin and weak as they continued to climb on him, saying ‘Mama’ every so often. They were _nothing_ like Sans’ captor had been. So, why did stiffen and flinch a little each time their tentacles wrapped around any part of him?

“I’m okay, it’s fine.” He was just trying to convince himself at this point because he _should_ be fine. They couldn’t hurt him even if they’d wanted to, and they _didn’t_ want to. Why would they want to hurt him when they clearly liked him so much? So, there was no need to be afraid of them. Not yet anyway. When they were older he might have cause to fear them but not right now.

Their tentacles, so small right now, would one day be big enough and strong enough to lift him and hold him so that he couldn’t escape no matter how much he struggled. They’d be able to force his legs apart and grab his soul to force him to form his magic into a pussy so that they could rape him. And if they really wanted to they could also…

“Okay that’s enough.” Papyrus’ hands were suddenly on him, gently pulling the babies’ tentacles off, putting them back in the water. “No more touching.” He lifted Sans and moved him further away, placing him softly on the ground and kneeling down beside him. “You okay Sans?”

“I uh…” Sans looked towards the water where the octopus babies were staring at them, making sad confused noises now.

“Mama?” they kept saying. They didn’t understand why he’d been dragged away from them.

“Um…” Sans turned his head back to meet Papyrus’ worried gaze. Lifting a hand to his face he was surprised to find it wet with tears. He was shaking a little too. “I’m sorry,” he said, wiping the wetness off his face with his sleeve.

“It’s okay. But what’s wrong? Why are ya crying?”

“I uh… was thinking about… stuff. They’re small right now but one day they’ll be big enough to… do stuff to me. If they really wanted to they could…” Sans froze, choking on his words as more tears filled his eyes. He wiped them away, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. “…they could… hurt me. And I know they probably won’t but… their tentacles, when they wrap around my arms and stuff… I just… can’t…”

Papyrus sighed, leaning forward with his arms spread, about to hug Sans, but he pulled up short, freezing in place. “Is it okay if I… hug you?” he asked in an almost fearful sounding whisper.

Sans whimpered, unable to prevent his tears from overflowing as his shoulders started to shake with small sobs. He’d messed up everything last night. He was such a fucking idiot. But he nodded, reaching out to latch onto Papyrus.

Papyrus’ arms encircled him, warm and comforting as they pulled him closer and up onto Papyrus’ lap. Sans relaxed some, hiding his face against Papyrus’ shoulder as he cried.

Ever patient and tolerate of his brokenness, Papyrus held him, not saying much other than the occasional whispered promise that everything was going to be okay, letting him cry as much as he needed to. Which, as always, was way too much.

“Okay, new rule,” Papyrus said in a soft voice once Sans’ tears had finally died down. “They’re not allowed to touch you anymore. They’re not gonna like it and they won’t understand it but it’s for the best. When they get older we can tell them that you just don’t like being touched by anyone other than me. They won’t need to know any more than that.”

“Yeah okay.” Sans nodded, sniffling as he wiped away the tear streaks on his face. That was true for the most part anyway, touching had never been a thing he’d been into. Not until all this shit anyway, now he needed Papyrus to hold and comfort him all the time. Alphys was okay too, but anyone else, no, he’d rather not have them touch him.

With a sigh, he lifted his head to look over at the babies. He’d forgotten they were there for a bit. Breaking down and crying in front of them like that couldn’t be good. They didn’t need to know he was broken. Though keeping it a secret when they were older was going to impossible. But for now, at least they were too young to understand what had happened and hopefully wouldn’t remember it, especially since they’d been the main cause of it happening.

“Mama? Uncle Pappy?” They were all staring him, looking almost worried and definitely sad. Some of them made motions with their tentacles, like they wanted him to come closer so they could touch him again. Which was _not_ going to happen. “Okay? Mama okay?” Great, now they were asking if he was okay. Or just using one of the few other words they knew.

Trying not to listen to them anymore, Sans sighed. He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead back against Papyrus’ shoulder again, so he at least wouldn’t have to see them. “I’m tired.” Crying always either left him feeling a little better or more tired than before. This was unfortunately one of those latter times. If only he could just go back to bed and sleep all day without any nightmares.

“I know Sans, I know.” Papyrus sighed too. He was still holding Sans on his lap, legs crossed and sitting on the hard ground. He couldn’t be comfortable like that, even if he didn’t complain or shift around much. “But we can’t spend the whole day sleeping anymore. That wouldn’t be a good for us, no matter how appealing it may sound right now.”

If Sans were able to, he would’ve laughed at that. He had used to tell Papyrus that he couldn’t spend the whole day sleeping, that it wasn’t good for him, all the time. Papyrus had never listened of course, not until now apparently.

“Besides,” Papyrus continued, “ya still gotta train with Alphys later. She’d fucking kill me if we tried to bail again.”

Sans groaned at the thought of training with Alphys. That was going to be so much work and would only highlight how weak he’d become, both in body and mind. But… he had to, even if it was for no other reason than to make her and Papyrus happy. Not to mention the commotion she’d raise if he tried to say ‘no’ wouldn’t be worth the effort.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said. “I don’t want to but… you’re right.”

Papyrus hugged him a little bit tighter for a second. “That’s… a really brave thing to say Sans. I know I could never do that.”

How was that brave? Sans was used to doing things he didn’t want to do. And if he tried to insist on not going Papyrus would be sad and Alphys would be disappointed in him and probably mad at Papyrus for letting him bail again.

“Thanks, I guess.” Sans shrugged. Let Papyrus think he was brave if he really wanted to, it made no difference.

“You wanna leave though?” Papyrus asked. “Or stay here with them.” He gestured towards the pool. Sans didn’t look though, he didn’t want to see the babies’ sad expressions to go along with the lonely noises they were making. “It’s okay if ya don’t wanna be around them anymore right now. They’ll be sad but… there’s always tomorrow.”

Part of Sans wished he could take Papyrus up on that offer. But yesterday they hadn’t come at all and the day before he hadn’t even spent five minutes with them before running away like a coward. “No, we can stay for a while longer,” he said with a sigh. “Just… don’t let them touch me.”

“Of course, they’re not allowed to touch ya anymore, remember? I’ll play with them and you can go back to teaching them new words and stuff. Ya don’t even have to go anywhere near them.”

Should Sans feel guilty about how relieved he was that the babies weren’t going to touch him anymore? They liked touching him and were sad when they couldn’t so maybe he should feel at least a little bad, but he didn’t. They’d just have to get used to it.


	24. Late

“We’re going to be late if we do this.” Sans said.

“Yeah, but only like five minutes, ten at most.” Papyrus shrugged. He’d just teleported them to the bench overlooking the abyss instead of to Alphys’ like he was supposed to. “I can teleport so it’s not a big deal. And you did very good job today, so you deserve a break.”

“I didn’t do anything.” All Sans had done was freak out about harmless children touching him.

Papyrus sighed, pulling out his cigarette pack. “Want one?” He held it out towards Sans.

Sans considered protesting about being late to training with Alphys again before pulling one out. He didn’t have the energy to care and it would put off that inevitable humiliation a little longer.

Papyrus pulled out a cigarette for himself and used his lighter to light both before pocketing the pack once more. “You did a lot, even if ya don’t think so. And I’m very proud of you for it.”

Sans sighed, breathing out a cloud of smoke instead of responding. The need to cough was entirely gone now. He shouldn’t be doing this. Even if it wasn’t as bad without lungs it still wasn’t healthy or completely safe. But he didn’t care. It took the edge off his stress, not just the cigarette itself but also sitting with Papyrus and doing nothing important or strenuous.

“Let’s just relax and not think about anything, ‘kay?” Papyrus said after as short silence. “Just for a little bit.”

Sans nodded, he preferred not to think about anything anyway. “Is doing stuff like this the reason you were always late to everything?”

“Yeah. But like… better late than never, right?” Papyrus shrugged. That had always been his excuse every time Sans had yelled at him for being late. Hearing it again was almost nostalgic. “There’s nothing wrong with taking a break every so often, is there?”

“I guess not.” Sans should care more about being punctual. If they’d wanted to do this they should’ve left early instead of waiting until it was time to go to Alphys’. But… he couldn’t bring himself to care. It didn’t make that much of a difference and… “This is kind of nice actually.”

 

“You’re late,” Alphys said, glaring at them with her arms crossed. They’d just teleported into her front yard and she hadn’t paused for even a second before speaking her mind.

“We were just…” Papyrus began before she cut him off.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised though with you two being the way you are now.” She let out an annoyed sigh. “But I’ll allow it for now. Just don’t ever be more than ten minutes late or do what you did yesterday or we’re gonna have problems.” She directed that statement mostly at Papyrus, glaring up at him.

“We won’t, don’t worry about it,” he said.

“All right Sans, let’s do this.” She gestured for Sans to come stand by her.

With a sigh, he did so. This was going to be exhausting and he was going to hate it. But he couldn’t put it off forever and he had to at least try to get better. Being able to defend himself again would be a step in the right direction and should prevent anything like what happened with dogs from happening again.

“Good, now Papyrus leave, we’ll call you when we’re done.”

Papyrus froze. “What…”

“Sans doesn’t need you here watching him,” Alphys cut him off. “And you need to get your life back on track too.”

“But…”

“Sans _needs_ to start becoming more independent otherwise he’ll never feel like he can take care of himself again. So, you need to leave. He’ll be fine with me, I promise, and if we need you we’ll call. So, make sure you have you phone on. Now go smoke pot with Undyne or hang out at Muffet’s or whatever else it is you used to do in your free time.” Alphys made an exaggerated shooing gesture towards Papyrus.

Papyrus stood frozen for a few seconds, a look of almost angry indecision on his face. Sans didn’t want him to leave and hoped he’d insist on staying.

“Seriously Papyrus,” Alphys was starting to sound a little annoyed now. “You _both_ need to work on becoming independent again. You spend every single second you’re awake taking care of and worrying about Sans. I understand why you do that but you need to take care of yourself sometimes too.”

Sans froze, holding back a whimper. He couldn’t deny that she was right. Papyrus was always placing Sans first, never seeming to care much about himself. Just the other day he’d almost fainted when he’d teleported. And that had been solely because of what he’d done for Sans and his eagerness to get over there, again for Sans. And just last night he’d woken up in the middle of the night because of Sans and stayed up with him until his arousal faded. He did so much for Sans without ever seeming to think about himself or his own wellbeing. What if one day he got sick or injured because of it?

“It’s okay Pappy,” Sans forced himself to say in a voice barely above a whisper. He fidgeted, wringing his hands together. He didn’t want Papyrus to leave, bad things happened when Papyrus wasn’t around to protect him. But Alphys was right. “You can… go if you want to. You’ll just be sitting around here doing nothing anyway.” A small selfish part of him hoped that Papyrus would insist on staying anyway.

“Ya sure?” Papyrus asked with an unsure frown.

“Yeah, I’m… sure.” He wasn’t sure at all. The thought of Papyrus leaving was almost terrifying. “Alphys is here so I’ll be fine. And it’s… only for a few hours so… it’s okay if… you want to… go do something else.”

“See, Papyrus it’ll be fine. This’ll be good for both of you in the long run.” Alphys said. “Go have some time to yourself for once. I’ll be keeping Sans too busy to even worry about you not being here.”

Papyrus sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck for a few seconds before replying. “Okay, if ya think this might help him get better. Just be sure to call if ya need me.” He turned back to Sans. He looked worried as he walked over and kneeled down, about to hug him but hesitated. Before he could ask for permission, Sans hugged him tight, sighing in relief as Papyrus’ arms wrapped around him a half second later.

 “I love ya, ‘kay baby bro?” Papyrus whispered in Sans’ ‘ear’.

Sans hesitated, saying ‘I love you’ wasn’t a common thing, even with how they were now. “I… love you too,” he said also in a whisper. It made him feel a tiny bit better about Papyrus leaving.

Papyrus gave him one last squeeze before straightening. “I’ll uh be by to check up on ya in a bit, ‘kay?”

Sans nodded. He could do this. Alphys was here and would keep him busy so it would be fine.

Papyrus sighed one last time before disappearing with a small pop. Right away his absence seemed to weigh heavy on Sans. Last time he’d been away from Papyrus the dogs had raped him and the time before that he’d been kidnaped and…

Alphys put a firm hand on his shoulder, jarring him out of his thoughts. “Very good Sans,” she said as if he’d accomplished something difficult.

Sans took a deep breath, reminding himself that this was fine. He shouldn’t need Papyrus to be with him all day every day. It wasn’t fair to do that to him. And situations might arise in the future where they had to be separated so they might as well start getting used to the idea now.

“What did you guys whisper to each other when you were hugging?” Alphys used her hand on his shoulder to start leading him towards the training grounds. Sans let her, grateful for the contact.

“Nothing important,” he said with a small shrug. She didn’t need to know what they’d said.

“Whatever I guess.” Alphys shrugged, pausing him a short distance away from her training dummy. “But before we begin, I want to… apologize for being a less than good friend the last two months.”

Sans froze, looking up to try to meet her gaze. Alphys apologizing was rare.

“I should’ve started doing this with you a long time ago,” she continued. She was standing stiff and awkward, wringing her hands together as she stared down at the ground. “I just thought that given enough time you might start to… get better on your own. That clearly isn’t happening. So, I’m… sorry I’ve been neglecting you when I should’ve been helping you.”

“Oh uh… it’s… okay.” Sans hadn’t realized it before but other than the occasional text message and two short visits, Alphys hadn’t been around at all before she’d called him up to have them start training together again. And she’d only had the idea to do that after Undyne had asked her for ideas to help Sans.

“Well we’re here now.” She perked up once more, clapping a hand on his shoulder almost hard enough to hurt. “We’ll get you back to normal in no time.”

“Alphys…” Sans paused, reluctant to bring down her mood again. “I’m not… I’m not ever going to be… ‘normal’ again. Even if I ever do get better, I’ll never… be like I was before.” He would never be able to forget how low he’d fallen, how much he’d given in and let his captor rape him or how he’d enjoyed it and accepted that that was going to be his life.

“Yeah, I know but…” Alphys frowned before shrugging it off. “Let’s just start training.”

Sans sighed, taking a deep breath to clear his thoughts. He had to focus on this. “Yeah, okay.” He didn’t want to but he had to. He would make it through this and then he could go home and take a nap. “Let’s start training.”

“Good.” Alphys nodded firmly. “We’ll start with the basics again. We’ll review fighting stances both with and without a physical weapon. We’ll skip stances for fighting with a group for now since you’re not going to be going out on patrol again anytime soon. And then we’ll move on to practice smashing things and proper fighting techniques.”

Sans barely held back a groan. That sounded like so much work and he was going to be bad at it. But he had no choice. He was just going to have to deal with it. Maybe after a while of him not making any progress training with her, she’d give up and leave him alone again.


	25. Worry

Papyrus’ teleport land him in Undyne’s lab. “Alphys sent me away,” he said, ignoring her surprised jump as his sudden appearance.

Undyne sighed, straightening her lab coat as she glared at him with a small amount of annoyance. “Yeah, she told me she was going to do that. She said she wants Sans to feel in-independent again, like she d-doesn’t want him to feel like he needs you to protect him anymore.”

“I know but…” Papyrus trialed off with a shrug. Bad things happened when he wasn’t around to protect Sans. It didn’t make sense to think that way, before everything Sans had gone off by himself without Papyrus tons of times and nothing bad had happened to him. And he was with Alphys, she’d keep him safe. But… Papyrus couldn’t help but worry.

Besides, Sans needed him. It didn’t take a whole lot to trigger him or make him upset so he needed Papyrus’ comfort and reassurance. And Papyrus had been away when Sans had tried to… kill himself. So, was them being separated right now really a good idea?

But Sans had said he was all right with it. He hadn’t truly meant it, he’d looked scared and unsure about the thought. He’d said it probably only because he was worried about Papyrus. But he had been willing to be separated. And Alphys might be right about this possibly helping Sans feel more independent and able to take care of himself. So, Papyrus had left.

“You think this’ll work?” he asked. “That it’ll help him and stuff.”

Undyne shrugged. “I don’t know. I-it might.”

Papyrus sighed. “I hope it does.” It’s not like he had any better ideas. And it made sense, if Sans could learn to protect himself again and no longer felt like he needed Papyrus’ protection, he’d be doing a lot better. But… Alphys could’ve at least waited until Sans had started making progress in his training before sending Papyrus away, right?

“C’mon,” Undyne interrupted his thoughts. “We haven’t hung out in ages, let’s go watch some anime.”

“Yeah, okay.” Papyrus had nothing better to do. The only other place he could go was Muffet’s and he lacked the self-control to prevent himself from getting drunk with how much he was stressing right now. And he and Undyne hadn’t hung out in a long while, not since before Sans had been kidnapped.

He followed her to her break room. The TV was already on, one of her animes paused on screen. She pressed play on her remote as they settled down to watch it.

Papyrus took a deep breath, trying to focus on the TV. Sans was fine. He was with Alphys so he wasn’t in any danger and she’d be keeping him busy so he wouldn’t have time to miss Papyrus. Nothing bad was going to happen to him so Papyrus didn’t need to worry.

“The tentacle babies were crying for you yesterday,” Undyne said, interrupting his thoughts. “B-both you and Sans. Al said you two were taking the day off so I went to g-go check on them. It was around the time you guys n-normally come to see them and they were c-calling for you two, especially Sans.”

Papyrus sighed. Being even partially responsible for kids was proving to be a big responsibility. “Yeah, they like Sans a lot.” Too much with how they always wanted to touch him. “But uh… thanks for taking care of them and stuff for us.” He’d thanked her for this a few times before but it never felt like it was enough. There was no way he and Sans would’ve been able to handle them without her help. “We really appreciate it.”

She shrugged, turning her face away so he couldn’t see her blush. “It’s w-whatever. They’re kinda cute. But uh…” she turned her face towards him once more, “how are you holding up?”

“I’m… fine, I guess.” He shrugged. How he was holding up didn’t matter a whole lot, Sans was more important. “I’m worried about Sans. I don’t really know what I’m doing and sometimes when I try to make it better… I only make it worse.” He’d hurt Sans last night, he hadn’t meant to but he had. How could he ever forgive himself for that?

“I-I’m sure you help a lot more than you m-make it… ‘worse’.”

Papyrus sighed, his shoulders slumping. “I know but… I wish I could do more.” No matter how much he wanted to he could never protect Sans from his nightmares or bad thoughts. He could never undo what had been done to Sans or make it better.

“Don’t think like that.” Undyne’s almost angry tone drew Papyrus gaze back to her. “There’s only so much you c-can do and you’re doing everything you can. S-Sans isn’t going to get better in a matter of days or w-weeks, it’s gonna take a long time. S-so, don’t beat yourself up about not b-being able to help because you _are_ h-helping, more than anything or anyone else probably could.”

That’s what Sans said often just in different words. It had to be true, Sans had downright admitted that Papyrus was the only thing keeping him from… committing suicide. As sad as that was it was still a lot.

“I guess you’re right, maybe.” He helped Sans with his eating problem, that was good. “I just… hate seeing him like that.” As much as liked how close they were now, it wasn’t worth it. “I want him to be his old self again.” That was never going to happen though. Sans was too damaged to ever fully recover.

“I know.” Undyne patted him lightly on the arm. “But h-he’ll get better eventually, you just have to give him some time.”

“I know.” Papyrus sighed again. Sans had already made some progress towards getting better, he just had to hold onto that.

After that they sat in silence, Papyrus only half paying attention to the TV, for a while before Undyne restarted the conversation with the clear intent to distract him from his worry and stress about Sans. She mostly blabbed about the anime they were watching or other animes she’d been watching. Papyrus had been out of the loop on that stuff for a while so she had a lot to tell him. She of course eventually ended up talking about Alphys too like she always did.

After a little over an hour though he decided he needed to go check on Sans. He wouldn’t be done training with Alphys yet but Papyrus wanted to see how he was doing. She couldn’t expect him to stay away for so long anyway. So, after wishing Undyne farewell, he teleported back down to Alphys’ place.

He landed in her front yard, the same place he’d teleported too when he’d brought Sans down here earlier. Alphys and Sans were deeper in. She had Sans fighting a training dummy with a wooden sword. She had to have noticed Papyrus’ arrival, she was practically facing him, but she didn’t even glance his way. And Sans had his back to him so he didn’t notice either.

With a quiet sigh, Papyrus sunk to the ground, leaning back against the cave wall to watch. Sans’ fighting stance looked awkward and stiff and his swings were clumsy. It seemed like Alphys was correcting him every so often, but her voice was too quiet for Papyrus to make out the exact words.

Even without seeing his face it was obvious that Sans was already exhausted. His shoulders were slumped and the way he was swinging the wooden practice sword made it look like it weighed a ton. But if he made any complaint it wasn’t loud enough for Papyrus to hear. And he kept going at it anyway.

Papyrus’ soul swelled with pride. Sans was trying so hard despite how tired and depressed he was. Papyrus could never force himself to do that even without having experienced anything like Sans had gone through. He couldn’t even imagine how hard it had to be especially since Sans had used to be so good at fighting but had now lost his edge, both mentally and physically. It was just too bad Sans most likely wasn’t going to think he’d accomplished much, if anything.

Papyrus sat and watched unnoticed for almost another hour before Alphys declared in a loud voice, “Break time.”

Sans slumped, panting as he let the wooden sword fall the ground with a clatter. Alphys put a hand on his shoulder, pointing towards Papyrus as she whispered something to him. Sans turned, his exhausted expression morphing into a relieved smile as he started walking towards Papyrus. Seeing a smile on his face, even such a small one, brought a smile to Papyrus’ face as well.

Upon reaching him, Sans half collapsed into Papyrus’ arms, hugging him tight. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Papyrus pulled Sans closer and up onto his lap. As always, Sans felt small and fragile as his small frame curled up against Papyrus, like it would take almost nothing at all to dust him.

“Am I doing a good job?” Sans’ tone implied that he didn’t think he was.

“Yes, you are. You’re doing a _very_ good job and I’m super proud of you.” Papyrus reaffirmed his words with a gentle squeeze.

Alphys cleared her throat loudly, pulling Papyrus’ gaze to her.

“Sans, you can have a thirty-minute break. When you come back we’ll practice with your magic,” she said, her commanding tone allowing for no argument. “So, Papyrus you can teleport off to wherever you want to take him but you’re going to bring him back here in exactly thirty minutes.”

“Yeah, okay.” Papyrus didn’t try to hide his annoyance with her tone. But at least she was giving Sans a break because he clearly needed one. “See ya in a half hour then.”

Without waiting for a reply, he teleported, landing them back home on the couch with Sans still in his arms and on his lap. “What do ya wanna do with your break Sans?” he asked.

“I uh… I’m tired, can I… take a nap?”

It seemed like an eternity ago that Sans wanting to take a nap would’ve been shocking. He’d always been too full of energy to ever sleep during the day. Now though that kind of behaviour was all too common.

Papyrus sighed, pushing those thoughts aside. “Of course ya can,” he said. “Ya want me to take ya up to room?”

“No, here’s fine.” Sans nuzzled his face against Papyrus chest, pulling the edge of his coat over to cover his face, presumably to block out the light.

“’Kay, I’ll wake ya when it’s time to go back.” Papyrus would rather let him sleep for as long as he wanted to but that wouldn’t be good for him.


	26. Blaster

It didn’t seem like Sans had had his eyes closed for more than five minutes before Papyrus was shaking him awake again. He groaned, pressing his face harder into Papyrus’ chest. He didn’t want to wake up yet, he was tired both physically and mentally and wasn’t ready to face the rest of the day.

“I know it’s hard Sans, trust me I know, but ya gotta get up,” Papyrus said. “Sleeping all day like ya been doing isn’t good for you.”

Sans groaned again but looked up at Papyrus anyway. “I know.” Assuming it was possible for him to get better, he couldn’t let himself wallow in misery anymore. He needed to work on becoming stronger, at least physically, so he could protect himself again. “Let’s go then, I guess.”

Papyrus squeezed him a little tighter before teleporting. They landed at Alphys’ again. Papyrus was still cradling Sans in his arms, holding him close. It was almost hard to believe that there had been a time not that long ago when being held like this would’ve infuriated him to no end.

“Wow, you’re actually a whole minute early,” Alphys said. She was just standing up a short distance away. “I didn’t expect that.”

“Yeah.” Papyrus shrugged before bending down to gently place Sans on his feet.

Sans sighed, already missing the days when they’d laid around and slept all day. “Let’s do this,” he forced himself to say, stepping closer to Alphys.

“Very good Sans,” Alphys praised him again. “Now Papyrus leave and don’t come back until I call you.”

“But…” Papyrus began before she cut him off.

“It’s for the best, you know that. Now leave.”

“Yeah okay.” He sighed. “You gonna be all right Sans?”

Sans nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be okay.” The thought of being separated from Papyrus was still scary but last time had been fine so this time should be fine too, as long as he was with Alphys anyway.

“’Kay, see ya later then. Be sure to call if ya need me,” Papyrus said before he teleported away.

“All right, let’s do this.” Alphys put a hand on Sans’ shoulder and steered him back towards the training dummy. The sight of it almost made him groan. He didn’t want to fight it anymore, he didn’t even want to see it ever again. “Now take an offensive stance and summon a Blaster.”

“Alphys…” Last time Sans had tried to summon a Blaster he’d failed. It took a lot of magic and focus to summon a Blaster, both things he couldn’t muster up right now. Not to mention it reminded him of when he’d tried in vain to defend himself against his captor before it had impregnated him.

“You can do it Sans, I know you can,” Alphys said, interrupting him.

“But… I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Now do it.”

Holding back a whimper, Sans positioned himself into an attack stance. Light on his feet and ready to surprise his nonexistent opponent with a barrage of magical attacks on all fronts.

With magic was how he’d always preferred to fight. Mostly because he’d had excellent control of it and had taken great pride in that. But also, because being small made it harder to fight with physical weapons, especially against larger opponents, which was almost every other monster in the Underground. He would’ve never admitted to the latter though, not even as a quiet thought to himself. He’d been too full of himself to do that. He didn’t have that problem anymore.

Taking a deep breath, he looked at Alphys. She gave him a firm nod, encouraging him to continue. So, he turned back to the dummy and gathered his magic, shaping it into a Blaster.

Last time he’d failed, distracted by thoughts of his captor. And the time before that his magic had been forcefully cut off by the tentacle monster’s grabbing his soul and using its magic suppressant slime on it. He could still remember what that felt like, how _gross_ it was and how every time following that first time he’d _let_ it happen.

The Blaster taking shape above his head fizzed and popped out of existence. He couldn’t do it. It was too hard.

Alphys put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Try again.” Her tone was soft but firm.

“I can’t.” Sans wiped away his unshed tears hopefully before she could see them.

“You can and you will.”

“But…”

“Sans, you _have_ to do this. You’re Blasters are one of your strongest weapons, you need to be able to use them again. I’m just asking you to summon one for a short time. You don’t even have to fire it if you don’t want to.” She patted him a on the shoulder. “I know it’s probably hard but… remember when I first decided to train you?”

Sans nodded. That had been years ago, back when he was a teenager and she’d only been a low-ranking officer in the Guard. But she’d known more than him about fighting and was quickly making her way up to higher and higher ranks, so he’d begged her to teach him. And to his surprise she’d agreed to, unlike everyone else he had asked.

“I decided to do that because I knew you had potential and I was right,” she continued. “And you still have that, you just have to find it again.”

“Things were different back then.” Sans hadn’t been a broken sex toy back then and wouldn’t have ever conceded to the possibility that that could happen to him.

“Physically you’re still the same as you were before you went through all of that… _shit_.” Alphys made a vague gesture with her hands towards him. “Well you will be once we get you back into shape.”

_Was_ Sans physically the same as he had been before? His body didn’t feel like it was the same. It had been through a lot. He’d been forcibly impregnated and had given birth as well as having been turned into a sex toy. Even if most of that involved his magic parts surely something had broken inside him. Something that couldn’t be fixed. Otherwise why did he feel so tired all the time?

And even if he _was_ as physically strong as he’d been before, a large part of combat was still a mental thing, and fighting with magic was almost entirely a mental thing. And his mind certainly wasn’t the same and never would be.

“Now summon one of your Blasters,” Alphys continued. “After you do that we’ll move on to fighting with your normal bone attacks, I promise. But you’re gonna summon that Blaster first.”

“I…” Sans began, meaning to say ‘can’t’ before she cut him off.

“Don’t start that shit.” She sounded almost annoyed now. “You’re going to do it even if we have to stand here all day and all night.”

Sans opened his mouth to reply but was cut off again.

“No ‘buts’. I’m not going to coddle you all the time like Papyrus does. You need to be pushed sometimes too.”

Sans whimpered. Didn’t she understand that he _was_ pushing himself? He didn’t want to be here, doing this when he would rather be asleep and he wanted Papyrus to come back to keep him safe and comfort him. This was already difficult, why did she have to ask more of him? It wasn’t fair.

“Fuck.” Alphys groaned, lifting a hand to her forehead. She took a deep breath before looking back up at him. “Okay, all right, you can work your way up to a summoning a Blaster. Practice with your normal bone attacks first. Just don’t cry please.”

Sans flinched, turning his face away and lifting his hands up to wipe the tears from his eyes. “I’m not.” He couldn’t cry in front her, especially not right now. He was supposed to be getting better, not breaking down and crying again.

Alphys sighed. “You gonna be okay?”

No. Nothing was okay or ever would be. He was broken beyond repair. He couldn’t even use his own magic reliably.

“C’mon, let’s go sit down for a bit.” Alphys took his hand and started leading him towards her house.

“I’m sorry.” Sans whimpered again, a few tears trickling down his face despite his best efforts to stop them. He’d disappointed Alphys, she was mad at him because of how weak he was.

“No Sans, I’m sorry.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze as she led him into the house. After closing the door, she guided him to the couch and lightly pushed him down onto it. “Pushing you this hard so soon wasn’t a good idea.”

“I’m sorry I failed, I… I just can’t and…”

“It’s okay, Sans it’s okay.” Alphys sat down next to him. “I’m not mad at you. We’ll get there eventually. You just have to work your way up to it, okay?”

Sans nodded as used his hand to wipe away more tears. “Can we… can we call Pappy please?” He needed Papyrus to hold him and tell him everything was all right.

Alphys grimaced. “I’m sorry but… no. I’m not gonna call Papyrus unless you need him.”

“But I _do_ need him.”

“No, you don’t, you can handle this yourself.”

How could Sans possibly handle this himself? He needed Papyrus to hold him and tell him that everything was okay, even if it probably wasn’t.

He whimpered as he pulled his legs up to hug them to his chest, curling himself up tight. “I can’t.” He couldn’t do this. He needed Papyrus.

“You can.” Alphys patted him on the shoulder. “You’ll see him again as soon as we’re done training. You can handle this yourself, all you need is some time to collect yourself and calm down. And then we’ll go back to training.”

“Please no.” That was the _last_ thing Sans wanted to do.

Alphys sighed, keeping her hand firmly placed on his shoulder. “You’ll be fine. We’ll take it easy and we’ll wait until you’ve calmed down some before going back out there.”

Shoulders starting to shake with small sobs, he hid his face so she wouldn’t see his pathetic tears. It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t Alphys just give up on him as a lost cause? He was useless anyway, so why bother? The least she could do was let him call Papyrus. Why did she have to makes things harder than they already were?

She sat with him, a hand on his shoulder, for a long while without saying anything. Despite everything Sans’ tears eventually started to dry up, no matter how upset he was crying forever wasn’t possible, even if it sometimes felt like it was. His soul still ached for Papyrus to comfort him but at least he wasn’t alone. Alphys was still here to give him some comfort and he didn’t like crying in front of her.

“Feeling better?” Alphys asked.

“A little, I guess.” Sans took a shaky breath as he lifted his head to look at her. He used the back of his hand to wipe away the tear streaks on his face.

“See, I told ya, you can handle it yourself.”

Sans hadn’t handled it, he’d more cried until he couldn’t anymore. He would've calmed down a lot sooner if Papyrus had come.

“Ready to go back to training?”

“Can we not please?” As much as Sans didn’t want to train anymore he couldn’t force any real emotion into his voice. “I can’t summon a Blaster I just… can’t.” He was pathetic. He should be able to use his magic.

“I’m not going to ask you to. We’re gonna work our way up to that. And we’re gonna take it easy for the rest of the day. So, c’mon.” She took his hand and pulled him to his feet. “And we’re almost done. In an hour, we’ll call Papyrus. You can hold on for another hour, I know you can.”

Sans perked up a little. An hour wasn’t that long. He could do that. Afterwards Papyrus would come and make everything better like he always did and Sans could lie down and take a nap. “Okay, I… guess I can do that.”

She led him back outside and brought him back over to the training dummy. It seemed to almost glare mockingly at him. He hated it. It made no sense to hate an inanimate object as much as he hated it but he did.

“All right,” Alphys said, “summon a wave of bone constructs. Not a big wave, but a small one. Focus on making it as powerful as you can.”

Sans took a deep breath as he reached for his magic. He summoned a small wave like she’d asked, trying to make them powerful. But that was… difficult. Making them more powerful required willpower and focus, both things he was sorely lacking.

After a nod from Alphys he fired them. They hit the dummy’s body, shattering against it. He’d done no damage, hadn’t even made a scratch.

“All right now do that again. Only this time make the wave as big as you can make it. Don’t worry about making them powerful. Just throw as many attacks as you can.”

Sans sighed. Why couldn’t time go by faster? An hour wasn’t that long but… it sure felt like it.

“Sans…” Alphys began, a warning tone in her voice.

“Yeah, I’m doing it.” Just one more hour and then he’d get to take a nap with Papyrus again. So, he forced himself to do as she commanded, she was still his commanding officer after all.

To nobody’s surprise, his attacks still did no damage no matter how many he threw. If that bothered or disappointed Alphys she didn’t show it. She didn’t even mention it.

They did that for a while. She had him practice with different patterns and combinations of bone constructs. It was exhausting in its own way but true to her word she let him take it kind of easy, rarely did she tell him to try to put any real power behind his attacks. Meaning he could get away with putting no effort into them.

“All right, tomorrow we’ll practice being more defensive,” Alphys said after what felt like _ages_.

“Does that mean we’re done for today?” Sans couldn’t keep the desperate note of hope out of his voice.

“Yes, we’re done for today.”

Sans let out a sigh of relief as he let go of his barely held battle stance. This was _finally_ over. He could go home and take a nap with Papyrus.

“There’s one last thing before you head for home though. Wait here, I’ll go get it.”

Confused, Sans watched her head back to her house. What was she getting and why?

He didn’t have long to ponder that question before she returned. In her hands was… a sword? Not a practice sword but a real sword, complete with purple scabbard and sword belt.

“A weapon.” She held it out as she reached him as if she expected him to take it for some reason. “Since your magic’s kinda wonky right now I got you a sword to defend yourself with.”

“But…” Sans was rusty with fighting with real weapons too. Not to mention his small size put him at a disadvantage in that kind of fight anyway.

“Yeah, I know you’re still out of shape and stuff. But this is better than nothing and will have to do until he can use your magic properly again. And just _having_ a weapon on you should make you look like less of a potential target.”

“Yeah but… I’m not… I’m not going to be by myself a whole lot.” Or ever really, not for a _long_ time. When he wasn’t with Papyrus he’d be with Alphys. He’d learned his lesson about going off by himself.

“I know.” Alphys sighed, her body seeming to deflate a little. “I just… don’t like the idea of you being defenseless, not after… what happened with the dogs.”

Sans froze. Why did she have to bring that up? Why couldn’t everyone pretend that that hadn’t happened? They were dead now so it shouldn’t matter anymore.

“I know you’ll be with Papyrus all the time when you’re not with me but… what if a group attacks you guys or something. Snowdin is one of the more violent parts of the Underground so it could happen. As strong as Papyrus is he might not be able to keep all of them off of you and be able to defend himself at the same time. So, you _need_ to be able to defend yourself even just a little bit. And until you get your magic back under control you have no choice _but_ to use a physical weapon.”

“Yeah… okay.” Sans couldn’t deny that she was right. It wasn’t likely that he’d need to fight for himself any time in near future but it was still possible, especially now that he’d decided he couldn’t spend the whole day lying around at home anymore. And he wouldn’t Papyrus to risk himself that much if they were attacked by a large group. In that case he’d probably just teleport away but bad things  might still happen.

So, with a sigh, he accepted the offered sword from her. It wasn’t heavy and was small even for a short sword. She’d no doubt picked it out just for him.

“I’ll work on getting you a good set of armor too,” Alphys said as she helped him fasten the belt around his waist. “But this is already a good step in the right direction.” She stepped back as if to admire how he looked with the sword.

He sighed as he rubbed his palm against the sword’s pommel. He’d never liked carrying physical weapons. They got in the way a lot of the time. But unable to use his magic, he had no choice right now.

Would it make a difference though? If he’d had a sword or some other weapon when the dogs had come to rape him would he have been able to use it? Or would he have still given in without a fight because he was too afraid of what they’d do to him?

“You’re going to wear that every time you go outside. You can only take it off once you’re safely home again,” Alphys said.

Sans sighed again. “Yeah, okay, I guess.” It didn’t make that much of a difference. It was just one more annoying thing he had to think about. “Can we call Papyrus to come get me now?” He needed to see his brother again, and he just wanted to go home.

“Yeah, we can do that,” Alphys said as she pulled out her phone.


	27. Blanket

The rush of relief from seeing Papyrus again was almost worth all the heartache that had led up to it. He offered a sense of safety that Sans hadn’t fully realized until he’d been deprived of it. The best part was, Papyrus looked happy too, as if he were just as relieved to see Sans as Sans was to see him.

“Hey Sans, how’s it going?” He asked as he bent down to let Sans hug him.

Trembling, Sans wrapped his arms around Papyrus, squeezing him tight. “I missed you.” Just like before, they’d only been apart for a short time but it felt like so much longer.

“I missed ya too.” Papyrus held him just as tight as if he’d missed Sans just as much. “How’d training go?” he asked as they pulled apart a short time later.

“It uh…” was not good, worse than training with the wooden sword had been. But could he say that? Would Papyrus be disappointed in him for not getting better?

“Not good, huh?” Papyrus could apparently read his mind. “That’s okay though. You’ll get the hang of it eventually. But what’s with the sword?”

“I gave it to him so he could defend himself,” Alphys cut in. “He’s too… uh… distracted to use his magic properly right now so I gave him a physical weapon just in case he ends up in a situation where he has to attack somebody Hopefully he won’t but… anything could happen.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Papyrus said.

“He’s going to wear it every time he leaves the house and is only allowed to take it off when he gets back home. You’re going to help me enforce that.”

Papyrus frowned before completely turning away from her and smiling at Sans. “Ya ready to go home?”

“Yes please.” Sans nodded eagerly. He wanted to go home and take a nap.

Without even saying ‘see ya later’ to Alphys, Papyrus took Sans hand and teleported them back home. He landed them in Sans’ room.

“Look Sans, I got ya a new blanket.”

“Oh.” Sans hadn’t expected that. It was a light pink and had large print of a white anime cat with a pink bow. He might’ve seen something similar at Undyne’s once, in a box with a bunch of other anime stuff. It was tacky and didn’t match the various shades of black and purple making up the rest of the stuff in the room, but it was _clean_. There wasn’t that _horrible_ bloodstain on it. And to top it off there was a rug on the floor. It was solid blue so it too didn’t match the rest of the room either but it covered the bloodstain on the carpet.

“I know it’s not much,” Papyrus said. “And they’re kinda tacky but it’s all Undyne had so…”

“Thank you,” Sans interrupted him. “I really appreciate it, so thank you.” He wouldn’t have ever thought to do something like this himself. He would’ve just let himself be reminded over and over again of his failed suicide attempt. This was _much_ better.

“You're welcome.” Papyrus smiled at him.

Sans unbelted the sword and leaned it up against the nightstand. That wasn’t a good place for it, he should put in on a proper stand on the wall or something. But he didn’t care enough to go through all that trouble.

He was tired, so very tired, and he wanted to take a nap. But… would that be a good idea? His nap earlier had been wonderful but if he took another one right now would he be able to force himself out of bed later? Probably not, especially since he’d need to do so to make supper. But he body was sore from training which was coupled with his natural tiredness.

“You okay Sans?” Papyrus asked, jarring Sans out of his thoughts.

“I’m tired and sore, I want to take a nap,” Sans replied. If Papyrus said it was okay then surely it would be okay, right? They could maybe even take a nap together, that would be nice.

“I uh…” Papyrus hesitated. “This probably makes me a bit of a hypocrite but uh I don’t think ya should take a nap right now. It’ll only make ya feel worse and it’ll be time to eat soon so…”

“I know.” Sans should be grateful that Papyrus was no longer letting him get away with doing things that weren’t good for him but… that was really hard right now when he just wanted to lie down and sleep. “I’ll… go make supper then, I guess.” He didn’t want to but he had no real choice.

“Ya want me to help with that?” Papyrus asked.

“Sure, you can help.” Sans was too tired to do it by himself anyway and even if Papyrus couldn’t provide much useful assistance he would at least keep Sans company.

 

“It’s gone.” Sans let out a sigh of relief after he’d checkmated Papyrus for the fourth time. Maybe after a while he’d start to get good at chess for real and maybe be able to beat Papyrus without Papyrus letting him win.

“That’s good,” Papyrus said.

Sans stood up and made his way around the table to him. “Thank you.” He could never thank Papyrus enough for thinking of this or for anything else really.

Papyrus hugged him back, holding him tight for several seconds before letting him go. “Ya ready to go to bed or do wanna like watch TV or something first?”

“I don’t know.” Sans was still tired but… going to bed and sleeping for so long was almost guaranteed to bring nightmares.

Papyrus sighed. “We’ll think of something to do ‘bout the nightmares eventually.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know yet but there’s gotta be something we can do to at least make them less severe.”

“I could always drink until I pass out every night.”

“Sans that’s…”

“Yeah, I know,” Sans cut him off. “I was just joking. That wouldn’t be good and would only make things worse in the long run.” Part of him still wished he could do it though. Alcohol would let him forget everything for a time and passing out from drunkenness probably would stop the nightmares. That would almost be worth it by itself. But Papyrus would never let him do that.

“Well uh… at least you’re feeling good enough to make jokes and stuff,” Papyrus said with a dubious smile. “But let’s hang out for a bit before going to bed, give ya some time to relax and stuff.”

Sans sighed. “Okay, I guess.” It was still a bit early to go to bed anyway.

After packing away the chess board they headed back to the living room. Sans slumped on the couch, resting his head on the arm rest. He was tired but didn’t want to sleep, not for real anyway. Napping was so much better, well as long as he didn’t drift far enough into sleep to start dreaming. If only there was a more reliable way to stop himself from sleeping that deeply.

Papyrus sat next to him with a sigh. He grabbed the remote and turned down the volume to an acceptable level before changing the channel.

There was of course nothing good on any channel, there never was. It was the same three channels showing the same shows over and over again. Even anything that wasn’t a rerun felt the same as everything else.

“We could watch a movie,” Sans said. They had a few movies, most of them human movies given to them by Undyne or Alphys either because the movie wasn’t anime or because they already owned a copy. Which also meant they were all from the Dump.

“We could,” Papyrus said with a thoughtful expression. “What do ya wanna watch?”

Sans shrugged. “I don’t care.” As long as it wasn’t any of the stuff that was on TV all the time he’d be happy with it.

Papyrus stood and made his way over to the box under the TV that they’d stashed all their movies into. Sans had never taken much interest in them and had been considering telling Alphys and Undyne not to give them any more and throw the ones they did have out. They’d never watched them much anyway. But now he’d watch anything that wasn’t the bullshit they put on TV, he’d seen it all a million times in the past two months anyway.

Papyrus chose a movie, seemingly at random, and popped it into the DVD player. He pressed play before heading back to the couch to sit next to Sans once more. “How ya feeling Sans? You doing all right?” he asked as the opening commercials started to play.

“I don’t know, still tired, I guess and sore.” Not that feeling tired was anything new.

Papyrus took a deep breath as he placed a hand on Sans’ arm. “I know you’ve been feeling kinda down on yourself lately but uh I just want ya to know that I’m super proud of you for all the hard work ya did today and everything else.”

Sans paused before answering. “Thank you, I… really appreciate that.” He did his best to smile up at Papyrus. He’d never thought he’d take so much comfort and reassurance from something as simple as Papyrus being proud of him, especially for something that shouldn’t be a big deal to anyone but Sans.

***

Sans fell asleep about halfway through the movie. Distracted from the movie himself Papyrus just looked at him for a bit. His face was serene. He wasn’t having any nightmares or thinking any dark thoughts. It was nice to see even if it was only temporary. Maybe one day he’d look like that even when he was awake. Or maybe he’d even get some of his old angry bossiness back. Wouldn’t that be nice?

But should Papyrus let him sleep like that or take him up to his room where it’d be more comfortable? They’d both ended up sleeping on the couch last night and Papyrus was still feeling a bit stiff because of it.

With a sigh, he paused the movie, they could finish watching it tomorrow. The sudden silence seemed almost deafening. He stood to switch off the TV and DVD player.

“’Kay Sans, let’s get ya somewhere more comfortable,” he whispered as he scooped Sans’ limp body up into his arms. A teleport would probably wake him so Papyrus walked instead.

He carried him to his room and gently placed him on the bed before tucking him in with the tacky pink anime cat blanket. He’d _really_ wanted something different, something that was at least a solid colour. But they didn’t have enough money to afford a new blanket and that was literally the only spare blanket Undyne had had. So, he hadn’t had much of a choice. But at least it was clean and Sans was happy with it.

Now where should Papyrus sleep? He wanted to be there in case Sans had a nightmare but… sleeping next to each was clearly _not_ a good idea. He could go back to his own room, he’d be able to hear Sans through the wall if he called out loud enough, but… Sans had tried to kill himself after having a nightmare. Yeah sure, Papyrus wouldn’t be leaving the house like he had that night but still.

So, he’d have to sleep in here, just not on the bed with Sans. He briefly teleported out to grab a chair to place beside Sans’ bedside. It wasn’t the best thing to sleep on but he’d slept on worse.

“’Night Sans,” he whispered as he sat down. “Love ya.”


	28. Jerk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this chapter taking longer than usual to come out, I was focusing on writing that thing for the contest. And I've been babysitting a kitten who likes to go out of his way to make it hard for me to write.

_Sans walked along the river, surrounded by darkness. He could almost feel the coldness coming from the water as it sent chills down his spine._

_“Pappy!” His call echoed off the cave walls. He was in danger something was following him, watching him with evil intentions. He needed somebody to save him._

_But nobody came. The cave was empty and dark, there was no way out and he was all alone._

_Despite knowing it was coming he couldn’t do anything about the tentacle bursting out of the water to wrap around his ankle. He yelped as he was dragged under, the water cold against his naked body. He couldn’t do anything to fight it as it pulled him up out of the water on the other side, dangling him upside down._

_“You’re more perfect for this than I thought you were going to be,” the tentacle monster said as it started to draw him closer._

_“No, please no,” Sans begged, tears starting to stream down his face. It was useless though, it always was._

_“It’s just a few eggs, you’ll be fine.”_

_It held him on the ground as its ovipositor rose out of the water. Sans’ body automatically summoned his pussy for it, even spreading his legs. “I deserve it,” his voice said against his will. It started moving towards him and there was_ nothing _he could do to stop it._

“Sans wake up.”

_Sans jerked at the voice, the world losing some of its depth._

“C’mon Sans, wake up please.”

 

Sans blinked open his eyes to darkness and the sight of Papyrus hovering over him with a concerned expression.

“Y-you okay Sans?” Papyrus’ hands were hovering near Sans almost like he was afraid to touch him.

“T-thank you.” Sans couldn’t stop himself from trembling. “You woke me up before it…” He sniffed and wiped at his tears with his hands.

“G-good, I’m glad,” Papyrus said with a relieved smile. But he _still_ made no move to pull Sans close and comfort him.

Sans whimpered, pulling his arms in to hug himself. Papyrus was afraid to touch him, that’s how broken he was. And it was all Sans’ fault.

“Sans are you… is it okay if I hug you?”

Sans nodded as he lifted his arms towards Papyrus. Once given permission Papyrus at least didn’t hesitate to take Sans up into his arms. Sans latched onto him, trembling with relief.

“Thanks,” he said again, pressing his face into Papyrus’ jacket and breathing in that familiar cigarette smell.

“Anytime.” Papyrus patted him on the back. “Ya know I’m always here for you.”

Sans nodded, already starting to calm down. Once he was sure no more tears would be coming he took a deep breath and he lifted his head to look around the room. They were in his room now, on a chair next to his bed. “Pappy were you… sleeping on this chair?”

“Uh… yeah, I was. I didn’t want to leave ya alone with your nightmares and I know ya probably wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping next to me on the bed. It’s the only thing I could think of.”

Sans sighed. He appreciated it, especially with how well it had turned out. But Papyrus needed proper sleep too and deserved to sleep on a bed. And Sans wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping on the same bed with him, not after last time. So, what should he do about this?

“Do ya… not want me to do that?” Papyrus asked.

“No, I like having you close but…” Sans trailed off.

“But what?”

“But… you should be sleeping on a bed too. This can’t be comfortable.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m used to sleeping on all sorts of weird spots, ya know that.”

Papyrus _could_ sleep almost anywhere. That didn’t make Sans feel any better about this though. “But… I don’t want you to have to do that.”

“Well uh… maybe we can figure something else out later. For now, I just wanna help ya with your nightmares as much as I can even if I can't really fix them. So, we could probably come up with a better sleeping set up later, like finding a way to put my bed in here or something.”

“Yeah, okay.” Sans sighed. He should be more insistent about Papyrus sleeping on a proper bed, even if that meant sleeping in the other room. What kind of difference would this even make most nights? Yeah it had worked out really well this time but how often would Papyrus be able to wake him before his nightmares got bad? But he couldn’t bring himself to send Papyrus away, not when he genuinely seemed unbothered by it. So, they would just have to figure something else out later.

 

“All right Sans, let’s do this,” Alphys said. She was as full of energy as always. She’d just sent Papyrus away again, telling him to come back when she called when it was time for Sans to take a break. “Remember we’re going to practice being defensive today.”

Sans sighed, already missing Papyrus as he rubbed his hand against his sword’s pommel. But that at least meant she shouldn’t be asking him to summon a Blaster today. So, he followed her to the training ground, thankfully not to the dummy though.

“Here.” Alphys handed him a wooden sword, already holding her own. “Just like yesterday we’ll start with physical weapon training. We’ll work on mixing the two once you’ve gotten more used to this. Now put yourself into a defensive stance and get ready to parry and block my blows. I’ll go easy on you though so don’t worry.”

Sans took a deep breath as he followed her instructions. He had no other choice.

Just like yesterday and the time before his mind and body felt out of sync and clumsy. But despite that he ended up blocking a good deal of her blows anyway. She made slow and deliberate moves, telegraphing her attacks enough for him to get his own wooden sword in the way just in time. Doing so well felt good despite the fact that it was only because she going about as easy on him as she probably would a child.

Eventually he started losing the rhythm though as his body tired, made worse by his continued soreness from yesterday. She kept pushing him anyway, her blows little more taps on his shoulders and ribs.

“Break, can we please take a break?” He had eventually had to ask, panting with exhaustion. She was probably going to say ‘no’ but it was still worth a try, right? “Just for a little bit.”

“Sure, we can take a short break.” Alphys withdrew and relaxed her battle stance.

“Oh… thank you.” Sans slumped gratefully, letting his practice sword fall to the ground. He should care more about not doing that but didn’t.

“If you need a break and it’s not your scheduled break time, you’re going to ask for it. But I’ll only grant it when you really need it, like right now, understood?”

“Yeah, okay.” Sans could do that.

“Good, now let’s go sit for a bit and drink some tea.”

Sans followed her to her house and sunk down onto the couch as she went to the kitchen. She returned a short time later, two steaming mugs in her hands. She handed one to him as she sat down next to him.

The silence stretched for a while as they drink their tea. Before they’d always had something to talk about during their breaks or any other time they were alone together. Now Sans couldn’t think of anything to say.

How had he ever been so talkative? Well a lot of what he’d had to say back then wasn’t nice stuff. He’d used to complain to Alphys about how lazy Papyrus was, or about how messy he was, or any number of other things he shouldn’t have been saying.

“Alphys can I… ask you something?” Sans broke the silence, drawing her gaze.

“Of course,” she said.

“Did I… deserve it?”

“Deserve what?”

“You know, everything that happened to me.”

“Oh.” Alphys paused for a second or two as her facial expression went from surprised to angry. “Fuck no you didn’t deserve it. Why the fuck would you even think that you did?”

“Because I was a huge jerk before.”

“So, what? I’m a huge jerk too, do I deserve for something like that to happen to me?”

“No, of course not.” Sans would _never_ wish that on anyone, least of all his best friend.

“See, and neither did you. And ya don’t deserve any of the bullshit you’re going through now either. So, don’t even fucking try to suggest that you do.”

“But… I was really mean to _Papyrus_. He’s my brother I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t even go there,” Alphys cut him off. “Papyrus said some nasty things to you sometimes too.”

“But I always started it,” Sans said. Papyrus had only ever said mean things back when Sans was yelling at him about something and overreacting in every possible way. And even then, he only did it when he was already in a bad mood from something else, most of the time he’d just taken it with little more than an annoyed sigh.

“That’s technically true but Papyrus knew being lazy and smoking in the house and all that other shit you yelled at him for would make you mad. But he did it anyway, so in a way _he_ started it. So, would he deserve half of what you’ve been through?”

“What?” Sans growled as he processed what her words were implying. “ _No_.” Papyrus was the person who deserved to be hurt the least. How _dare_ anyone try suggest otherwise? “Don’t you fucking _dare_ try to say…”

“Good to see you can still get angry sometimes.” Alphys patted him on the shoulder as she cut him off. “Now let’s go back to training. No more talk of deserving that shit, ‘cause ya don’t, ‘kay?”

“I uh… okay.” Sans nodded, his brief flash of anger fading. Other than when he stabbed Doggo to death he hadn’t gotten angry at anything that wasn’t directed towards himself in months. It felt almost nice.

But if both Undyne and Alphys said he hadn’t deserved what happened to him, maybe they were right. And maybe Alphys had a point, she could be a jerk sometimes but under no circumstances would Sans ever think she’d deserve something like that, even if she weren’t his friend. So, maybe Sans hadn’t deserved it, or at least not all of it. But then _why_ did it have to happen to him?


	29. Idea

“C’mon Sans, I know it’s hard but ya gotta get up,” Papyrus said.

“Please, I’m tired.” Sans groaned. He didn’t feel like he was even capable of getting out of bed. He _should_ force himself to like he did most mornings, but right now he was too tired to care about what he should be doing.

Today would be just like every other day since he’d started training with Alphys about a week ago, filled with stressful things that he had to do. The babies still wanted to touch him and got sad when they couldn’t. That was the least of his worries though, training was worse. He _still_ couldn’t use his magic properly and couldn’t summon a Blaster, every time he tried he teared up again like always. But he was making some progress in physical training, though _nowhere_ near as much as he should be. The only thing that had really changed was he was a bit stronger now from all the exercise. He was still clumsy and unfocused, assuming he didn’t chicken out he’d lose a fight against anyone who wasn’t a child. So, he was still worthless. Worthless enough that he couldn’t even drag himself out of bed to make Papyrus happy.

“Sans, please,” Papyrus said. “Ya know ya can’t do this. Please get up, you’ll feel better if ya do.”

Sans whimpered as he turned his face into the pillow so he wouldn’t have to see the worried expression on Papyrus’ face. “I can’t.” What would even be the point of getting up? He wasn’t ever going to accomplish anything, especially not today.

Papyrus sighed as he scooped Sans up into his arms. Sans didn’t have enough energy to even try to fight it and let himself hang limp.

“I’m sorry,” Papyrus said, his voice full of sorrow.

Sans groaned as he gripped onto Papyrus’ shirtfront. “Don’t be, it’s my fault. I’m too…”

“No,” Papyrus interrupted him, “Whatever you’re about to say isn’t true. You’re amazing and you’ve been doing so well and working super hard, so don’t put yourself down, okay?”

Sans hadn’t been about to ‘put himself down’ he’d been about to state the truth. He was weak and pathetic. Even Papyrus had to see it even if he wouldn’t admit it. And he wasn’t doing well, he was getting nowhere.

“Okay,” he said anyway to appease Papyrus. His voice was devoid of any emotion, giving away how little he could make himself care.

Papyrus stood there, cradling Sans for several seconds before speaking. “All right Sans, how ‘bout… we take the day off today?”

Sans froze, turning his eyes up to look at Papyrus. A day off would mean he wouldn’t have go to Alphys for training. He wouldn’t be asked to try to summon a Blaster or attack that horrid training dummy. And he could spend the day with Papyrus instead. “Can we?” He gripped onto Papyrus shirt front, desperate for a ‘yes’. “Please can we?”

“Yeah, we can.” Papyrus smiled sadly at him. “You deserve a break.”

Sans let out a breath, trembling with relief. He was going to get a break, he didn’t have to do anything today and Papyrus was _letting_ him. “Thank you, I really… need this, I think.”

“Yeah, ya do and ya deserve it. Now let’s go make breakfast and then we can spend the rest of the day avoiding our responsibilities.” Papyrus started for the door, holding Sans close in his arms.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” Sans shouldn’t be so eager to slack off but… he’d been pushing himself so hard for what felt like ages, even if it was only a little over a week, he deserved a break, right? Just one day off wouldn’t hurt, would it?

 

“I guess we should probably also let Alphys know you’re not training with her today,” Papyrus said with a sigh.

“She’s not going to be happy,” Sans said with a sigh. They were sitting on the couch, Sans on Papyrus’ lap, after their normal chess routine and had just finished texting Undyne that they were taking the day off. Sans wished they didn’t have to tell Alphys, she was going to be disappointed with him on top of being mad at Papyrus, but they had to. She’d be worried and even more upset if they didn’t.

With a resigned sigh, Papyrus pulled out his phone to text Alphys. He held it out so that Sans could see the screen as he typed. Once done he hit send and was about to turn it off when Alphys’ reply came in.

 ‘ _Fine. Was expecting this soon anyway._ ’

Sans blinked in surprise. That was the kind of response he’d expected the least. “Ask her if she’s really okay with this?” It was possible that she was still annoyed about it and was just going easy on him.

“’Kay,” Papyrus said before texting back. ‘ _u really not mad_ ’

‘ _Sans has been working hard, he deserves a break. So, he can have the day off today. But I want you both to come down here and chat with me first. I have an idea that should help all three of us out._ ’

‘ _what is it_ ’

‘ _Come down here and I’ll tell you._ ’

“Let’s go see what she wants,” Sans said. She’d already agreed to let him have the day off and had seemed genuinely all right with it, the least they could do was see what she wanted to talk about with them.

“I guess why not?” Papyrus shrugged as he pocketed his phone before teleporting them to Alphys’. He landed in her living, sitting on the couch and still holding Sans on his lap.

“I’m not surprised,” Alphys said as she strode into the room from the kitchen. Was she talking about Papyrus teleporting to the couch or Sans sitting on his lap?

“Ya wanted to chat?” Papyrus said.

“Yes.” Alphys nodded as she moved over to stand in front of them. “I’ve talked this over with Undyne last night and she said this is either a good idea or an extremely bad one, depending on what things happen because of it.”

Sans didn’t like the sound of that. With his luck, it would turn out to be an extremely bad idea.

“As you guys know,” Alphys continued. “We’re short three Guards in Snowdin now, which on top of you two also being out of commission is starting to cause problems. And it’s that time of year where new recruits are scarce. So…”

“So, ya want us to go back on duty?” Papyrus interrupted her with poorly concealed disapproval, his grip on Sans tighter than before. “I don’t think Sans is ready for that yet.”

“I knew you were going to say that,” Alphys said. “But I think this could be good for him, even if it _is_ a bit early. Some of his old instincts might return if he’s faced with a real fight. And going out on patrol like he used to might help too. _Also,_ if you two are active again, I can get you your normal paycheck again even if you’re not fulltime.”

“That’d be nice but… I don’t want Sans anywhere near potential danger.”

Did they really have to talk about Sans like he wasn’t here? He had a right to be part of this discussion too, right?

“You’ll be with him the entire time he’s on duty to keep him safe,” Alphys said. “If things get too dangerous you can just teleport out.”

“But what if something happens and I _can’t_ teleport out for whatever reason and he gets hurt because of it?”

“I doubt that’s gonna happen. Magic blocking technology and I guess magic too, or whatever that abomination used to block Sans’ magic, is rare. And even if you’re one of the laziest monsters in the Underground you’re still more than competent in a fight. So, you should be fine. And if anything does come up that you and Sans can’t handle just teleport to me or Dogamy and Dogaressa.”

“Still no,” Papyrus said. “I refuse to put Sans in any situation that even _might_ get dangerous, not until he’s stronger anyway.”

“He isn’t going to be doing it every day, he still has to train with me after all. It’ll be only on the weekends until he regains his strength. Instead of training with me on those days he’ll be with you, patrolling and working sentry duty in Snowdin and _only_ Snowdin. It’ll give him some time off while also giving him something to do that might help him get better.”

Sans didn’t like the thought of patrolling but… he’d get to hang out with Papyrus instead of going to training. It would be every weekend too. And knowing Papyrus, they’d be as lazy as possible about the whole thing. Meaning unless they came across something that needed their attention they’d mostly just be hanging out. And with Papyrus was without a doubt the safest place for him to be.

“I still don’t like this idea,” Papyrus said. “How ‘bout I do it alone instead? I’ve got nothing better to do most days anyway and we could use the extra money. But I don’t want Sans doing stuff like that yet, not until he’s stronger.”

“That was my original thought and I do want you working up there even when you’re not with Sans,” Alphys said. “But Sans used to love working as a Guard and he was one of my best because of it. I want to try to awaken that spark in him because training alone isn’t doing it.”

Sans _had_ used to love being a Royal Guardsmen, it had been his dream job from pretty much the instant he’d first laid eyes on a procession of Guards escorting the Queen way back when. And, unlike a lot of people, he’d not only achieved his dream but it had been everything he’d wanted it to be too.

“I’ll do it,” he said, blurting it out before he could think of any reasons why he shouldn’t.

Papyrus jolted, as if he’d forgotten Sans was sitting on his lap. “Are you sure Sans?” he asked, looking down at him. “Ya don’t gotta do this just because Alphys says ya have to.”

Sans wasn’t sure. He was weak and pathetic, a broken sex toy. He hadn’t even been able to get out of bed that morning without help. And he’d been patrolling when he’d been grabbed. So, this was probably a horrible idea, he’d only be a burden to Papyrus and possibly get one or both of them hurt. But at the same time, he wanted a consistent break from training and… and he wanted that spark back too. He wanted to want to be part of the Royal Guard again.

He hesitated before nodding, “Yes, I’m sure I want to do this. I’d get to spend more time with you and I _know_ you’d keep me safe if something did happen.” Unless something went terribly, terribly wrong, that was unlikely though, right? They’d be in Snowdin, even if Snowdin wasn’t a safe place it was still better than Waterfall.

“See, it’s decided then.” Alphys clapped her hands together in triumph. “You two will start tomorrow. Papyrus, we’ll discuss later what days you’ll have off since I don’t want you overworked either a well as your general hours. But for now, you guys are free to do whatever the fuck you want for the rest of the day.”

 

“Sans are ya _sure_ ya wanna start patrolling and stuff again?” Papyrus asked. They were sitting on the bench overlooking the abyss, smoking again as it had become their smoking spot. “No one’s gonna think less of ya don’t think you’re ready for that yet.”

Sans almost lied and said that yes, he was completely sure about this decision. But he didn’t want to lie to Papyrus, especially while they out here. “No… I’m not sure.” He sighed, letting out a thick cloud of smoke. “I know how weak I am. If anything dangerous does come up I’ll just be a burden to you. But… I used to patrol and stuff all the time. It was my job and I liked it.” He couldn’t quite remember why but he had liked it a lot. “Maybe if I start doing stuff like that again I might… get better or something.”

Papyrus sighed too. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense but… I still think it’s a bit early.”

“Yeah, probably, but I’ll be with you. I know you’ll protect me. And if we encounter anything too dangerous you’ll teleport us out. So, it should be okay.” There was of course still plenty of things that could go wrong, but as long as Papyrus was there it should turn out fine.

“I hope so.”


	30. First Day Back

“Fuck, it’s been ages since I’ve been here,” Papyrus said. He was referring to his old sentry station. It was a mess despite how insistent Sans had used to be about him keeping it clean. Empty and broken beer bottles, discarded cigarette packs, and various kinds of food wrappers, mostly from Muffet’s, were thrown underneath it.

Seeing Papyrus’ work station being like that would’ve thrown Sans into a rage back before he was broken. Now though… he didn’t care. “Let’s start patrolling or whatever,” he said with a sigh.

Papyrus had wanted them to start out with just standing sentry since that was marginally safer. But Alphys had been insistent that they start with patrolling to ensure the people of Snowdin knew they were back on duty. She hoped that their mere presence would be enough to subdue some of the criminal activity that had swelled due to the lack of Guards in the area. And that Sans might regain some of his old love for the Guard if he was doing what he’d spent the most time doing back then.

“Yeah, I guess let’s do this if we’re gonna this.” Papyrus sighed, obviously still reluctant about this whole thing. But he didn’t say anything about it as they started walking down the path towards Snowdin.

Sans took a deep breath, puffing out his chest to look… maybe more like how he’d used to. Alphys had given him a new set of armor that morning. It was purple and was similar in style to his old one but it felt heavier, though that was probably only because he wasn’t used to its weight anymore. He didn’t like wearing it, it was uncomfortable, which had never bothered him before for some reason. But coupled with the sword it would help him look stronger. Now if he could just learn how fake a confident stance and facial expression he’d be ready for this, sort of anyway since he’d still be faking.

Papyrus walked beside him, tense and nervous but trying to hide it by putting his hands in his pockets and slouching. Sans was almost tempted to hold onto him as they walked, like he’d done back when they were kids, to ground himself and maybe clam bother their nerves a little. The main reason he didn’t was because that would’ve made them look weak, the exact opposite thing people should be thinking about the Royal Guard. But…

“Pappy?” Sans asked.

“Yeah?”

“Everyone here knows that I’m… broken so…” was this really a good idea? Most people had used to not mess with him and had often run away when he’d shown up because they’d been afraid of him. But now even the weakest of criminals had no reason to fear him.

Papyrus sighed. “As long as I’m with ya it should be fine.” People were still afraid of him, possibly more than they’d ever feared Sans. “And who knows maybe if they see ya doing this they might think you’ve gotten your strength back. You certainly look badass in your new armor.”

“Do I?” Sans hadn’t had an opportunity to look in a mirror yet but he couldn’t ever imagine himself as looking badass, even if he’d used to think of himself like that all the time.

“Yeah, ya do.”

“Thanks.” Compliments were nice even when they weren’t true, he was too small and weak to ever look badass.

“Hey, good to see you two back on duty.”

Sans turned his head to see Dogaressa approaching with Dogamy on her heels. They were also on duty, wearing their armor and wielding their giant halberds.

“We could really use the help,” Dogamy said.

“Is it bad?” Papyrus said, his voice filled with concern as his eyes flicked to Sans before returning to the dogs.

“Not as bad as it could be,” Dogaressa began.

“But worse than it was when Sans was in charge of the place,” Dogamy continued.

“And worse because people know we’re sort handed.”

“But things should be better now that Sans is back, right?”

They both looked at Sans as if they expected him to wholeheartedly agree. He didn’t say anything as he looked to side. It was impossible for him to make things better, he was broken and everyone knew it.

Papyrus sighed. “I hope it helps, if not then…” he trailed off with a shrug. “But anyway, if anything too bad happens we’re coming to you for help, ‘kay?”

“Of course,” both dogs said in unison. “At least one of us will be at out sentry station at all times.” “Teleport there if you need us.” They saluted Sans before turning on their heels and marching off.

Sans took a surprised step back. He didn’t deserve for anyone to salute him. He was so weak he shouldn’t even be _in_ the Guard let alone in a position of authority. He hadn’t officially been demoted but that didn’t change the fact that he was now undoubtedly the weakest member of the Guard and therefore was at the bottom of the power rankings.

“All right I guess let’s do this,” Papyrus said with a sigh. “Stay close, ‘kay?” As if Sans would ever would ever even consider leaving his side when they were out and about like this.

As they walked into Snowdin they drew glances and finger pointing. The attention almost made Sans freeze in his tracks before a subtle nudge on the shoulder by Papyrus kept him moving forward. It was just stares and whispers, nothing new. They’d even gotten that sometimes before Sans had been broken, though only when something eventful happened and never were there looks of pity mixed with curiosity amongst the glares and measuring glances.

They were supposed to draw attention, that was expected and had been agreed upon before starting this. Word would get around that they were back, that there were two more Guards patrolling now so it wouldn’t be as easy to get away with stuff. So, Sans had known this was coming but that hadn’t helped him prepare for it in any way.

“Act natural,” Papyrus whispered. “If anyone tries anything I’ll fuck them up, ‘kay? You don’t even gotta do anything.”

“Okay.” Sans took a deep breath to try to steady himself. He could do this as long as Papyrus was here to keep him safe. There was no reason to be afraid.

Sans had patrolled the Snowdin area so many times that even now he could probably do it with his eyes closed. He knew every little nook and cranny where lawbreakers liked to hang out and every spot where someone might think to set up an ambush to try and take out passersbys or possibly Guards. His familiarity with the route made him a little less nervous.

At first, they didn’t encounter anything unusual, other than the extra attention. Everything looked pretty much exactly the same as it had before, other than some of the buildings being more rundown or broken into. Very few things had been fixed or repaired, or even painted over. It’s like everyone was content to let everything fall apart around them. Was that a new thing or had it always been like that and was Sans just now noticing it?

“Pappy, do you think we’ll ever see the Surface?” Sans asked in a whisper, soft enough that only Papyrus would hear him. The Surface wasn’t something people talked about. A lot of the time most people seemed to want to pretend it didn’t exist.

Papyrus seemed to almost freeze for a half a second before continuing. “It’s been a long time since ya asked that question,” he said. Sans had used to ask that often when he was a young kid, most often when he was sad or upset about something. “But uh… I don’t know. I hope so but… who knows when or even _if_ another human will fall.”

Sans sighed. He’d used to believe that they’d see the Surface one day. He’d been convinced that he’d be the one to catch the human and become famous. How had he ever even come up with that idea? The chances of the seventh human falling in his lifetime were basically nonexistent. He was stuck in this dreary unchanging place for the rest of his life.

“Sans, you okay?” Papyrus asked.

Sans paused, realizing that he was tearing up. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He nodded, quickly wiping his tears away with his gloves. He couldn’t be seen crying in public, that would only invite trouble.

With a worried look on his face, Papyrus opened his mouth to say something but Sans cut him off. “Yeah, I know, you want me to talk about it. But that would only make me cry more.” It’s not like talking about it could change it anyway. They were all stuck down here and even if everyone tried to not ever think about it everybody still knew it.

“Ya wanna take a break or something?”

“No,” Sans said with confidence he didn’t feel. “We haven’t even been patrolling for a full hour yet.”

“Well, all right if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Sans said as he wiped away the last his unshed tears. He’d somehow gotten himself back under control before he completely lost it and without clinging to Papyrus like a worthless crybaby. Maybe going out on patrol was a good idea after all.

 

The rest of that day was surprisingly uneventful. The only real problem they encountered was a group of kids vandalizing an old building, layering their graffiti over who even know how many other layers that were already there. Papyrus had let them off with a warning and Sans couldn’t remember why he wouldn’t have done so before he was broken.

Word had undoubtedly gotten around that there were they were back on duty. People watched them closely the whole time, taking their measure. A few groups of monsters even followed them for several blocks. They’d made no effort to hide their presence but hadn’t approached or made any move to challenge them, so Papyrus and Sans chose to just ignore them.

 

“Today went kinda well, I’m really proud of ya,” Papyrus said later that

night when they were getting ready to go to bed. The compromise they’d found was that Papyrus would sleep in a sleeping bag on Sans floor. Not ideal but their only other option would be to move his bed in there which would be impossible unless they moved the dressers and bedside table out. Neither of them had the energy nor time to go through all that right now so it would have to wait. But at least it was better than Papyrus sleeping on the chair.

“Yeah, it was nice,” Sans said with a yawn. He hadn’t had to go to training and nothing bad had happened, what more could he ask for? And even better, tomorrow would be the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be longer and end on a cliffhanger but it makes more sense to end it here since the day is ending and that would've made this chapter too long anyway.


	31. Unsure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split this chapter because of how long it was taking me to finish it so it's kinda short but it's at the best stopping point I could find.

“We’re being followed again,” Papyrus said. It was the next day and they’d only been patrolling for a little over an hour.

Sans had noticed their followers too, a few seconds ago. They were some of the same ones as the day before, a group of five or six. They were following much closer now than they had been yesterday, only a few blocks back. But just like yesterday they made no effort to be sneaky or even obscure the fact that they were following Sans and Papyrus. They were clearly confident that they had nothing to fear, which could never be a good thing.

“What do we do?” Sans normally would’ve known what to do immediately and would’ve acted on it at once, but now he wasn’t sure. They should maybe turn around and confront them, tell them to fuck off and make it clear that their shenanigans would _not_ be tolerated under any circumstances. But that could be the wrong move, if they weren’t intimidated they’d no doubt become violent. And violence was something he could no longer handle.

“I don’t know,” Papyrus said. “They’re not really doing anything wrong but…” he growled softly. “If they try to hurt you I’ll _kill_ them.”

Sans couldn’t help but be comforted by the threat in Papyrus’ voice. As long as he was with Papyrus no one would get away with even trying to hurt him. He was safe. So, as long as Papyrus didn’t get hurt trying to protect him everything would be fine.

“So, we just… ignore them for now then?” he asked. That didn’t seem like a good idea. It had worked yesterday though. But being followed by the same group of people two days in a row could only mean trouble. They had to be up to something more than just wanting to know what was up with them, whatever it was no doubt wasn’t going to be good.

“I guess, I don’t know.” Papyrus shrugged. “We could teleport out if ya want? I’m kinda tempted to anyway.”

Sans almost said ‘yes, let’s do that’ but stopped himself. Running away wouldn’t be a smart move unless they had no other choice. Cowards were despised by most people, anyone caught trying to run from a fight often ended up in an even worse one. And they were Guards, they couldn’t let people walk all over them, that would set a dangerous precedent for the future.

“We can’t just… teleport away when they haven’t even really done anything yet,” he forced himself to say. He would rather run away and avoid the problem for as long as possible but… “That would most likely make things worse for us later. They’d only want to do whatever it is they’re planning to do even more. If we don’t… confront them they’ll just try again another day or some other day after that. Depending on how patient they are we could be forced to avoid them for a long time. And we can’t avoid every single minor problem we come across, especially since it’s our job to deal with stuff like that.” It was logical but Sans hated it and wished he could just run back home and avoid the whole thing. But he’d agreed to start patrolling again knowing that a situation like this was bound to arise eventually, so he just had to suck it up and deal with it. Papyrus would be doing most of the work anyway so it’s not like he’d have to do much other than watch, he could handle that.

Papyrus sighed. “I don’t like it but… yeah, you’re right.”

“And besides, I think I recognize some of them. They’re not strong, you should be able to take them out if you have to, even with me dragging you down.” If violence was unavoidable Sans would stand as far away from it as he could get. He wouldn’t be able to defend himself so he’d have to stay out of harm’s way as much as he could so Papyrus wouldn’t have to focus much on protecting him.

 “So, ya want to go fuck them up now or wait for them to come to us?”

“I don’t know. Why are you asking me?”

“’Cause ya used to deal with this kinda shit all the time and you’re really good at it, better at it than me.”

Sans had dealt with situations like this before, quite often actually. The key was being in control and intimidating the other party into backing down or failing that being prepared to fight them, possibly to the death. But Sans couldn’t do that anymore. He couldn’t even control his own magic let alone a situation like this and he was one of if not the least intimidating monsters in the Underground, not counting babies and small children.

“We should just try to scare them off, I think, don’t try to start a fight,” he said with a sigh. How had he ever been so sure of himself? He had no idea what he was doing. For all he knew he was thinking about this entirely wrong. There could be a better solution he was too incompetent to think of. “We should probably go to them so they don’t think we’re afraid.” He could say that all he wanted but it wouldn’t change the fact that he _was_ afraid. He couldn’t even fight for himself and would be doomed to die or get raped again if he were alone. So, Papyrus shouldn’t defer to his judgement on this. He was a broken mess, hardly the same person he’d been back then.

“See, I told ya you’re better at this kinda shit.” Papyrus smiled down at him, probably just saying that to be encouraging. “Now let’s go tell them to fuck off. If they try anything I’ll kill them.”

But before Papyrus could grab his hand to teleport them in front of the monsters following them another group stepped out from behind a building to stand right in their path, forcing them to come to an abrupt halt. Sans had been so focused on what was happening behind them that he hadn’t been paying attention to much else. A stupid rookie mistake that he shouldn’t have made even with how worthless and broken he’d become.

“Hey Sans, hey Papyrus, I heard you two were back on duty.” It was a cat monster with brown fur who spoke. Sans had had dealings with him in the past. He was a drug dealer whose front was a burger stand in Snowdin. He went by ‘Burgerpants’, though Sans doubted that was he real name but it’s what everyone called him.

Standing next to him was his partner in crime, and possibly life Sans wasn’t sure, a blue bunny who went by the street name of ‘Nicecream’. With them were a few of their lackeys, they formed a loose half circle in front of them, blocking the road ahead. Their followers caught up too, completing the circle, closing the trap, and leaving no possible escape route. They were all armed too with nailed bats, various kinds of knives and a few even had swords or axes.

Sans took a step closer to Papyrus. These guys didn’t like him, he’d busted them for dealing illegal drugs more times than he could remember. They’d sworn to get vengeance on him almost every time but had never tried anything… until now.

Papyrus growled, low and deep, his eye flaring burnt orange with hate and anger. It was a warning no sane person who knew him would ignore. “What do _you_ two want?” He’d been with Sans a few times when Sans had been searching for and then arresting them. So, he knew them too and knew too that they didn’t like Sans.

Despite Papyrus’ unvoiced threat Burgerpants seemed unfazed and Nicecream looked the most confident Sans had ever seen him. This could _not_ be good. They _had_ to have something up their sleeve if they weren’t even a little afraid of Papyrus.

“We heard Sans got broken and is weak now,” Burgerpants said.

“I don’t think that’s any of your fucking business,” Papyrus said. “Now tell us what the fuck you want or leave us the fuck alone before I _make_ you.”

Burgerpants still looked unfazed and seemed to ignore Papyrus’ threat completely. “Ya know, before Doggo got arrested and executed he bragged to me and a few other people about what he and his pals did to Sans.”

“ _What_?” Papyrus said, his voice filled with shock and anger. Sans gasped, fighting the sudden need to cling to Papyrus like a frightened child.

But of course, Doggo had bragged to people about raping Sans, why wouldn’t he? Sans had basically _let_ him. Who wouldn’t want to tell their friends that they’d bested somebody who had used to be so strong?

Burgerpants’ grin widened as he replied. “Yeah, Doggo said that he and his pals fucked Sans like a whore. Apparently, he not only liked it but was practically _begging_ for it too. I think me and my pals would like in on that action. So, how much gold ya want for him?”

Even before Burgerpants had finished speaking Papyrus was growling again and lifting his hand in the gesture he often made when summoning his Blasters. Except… nothing happened. Where there should be Blasters firing at full tilt towards Burgerpants there was nothing, the air remained still and empty.

“You like it?” Nicecream grinned as he gestured for someone to come closer, a young fox monster holding a black box with a cylinder and dish coming out the top. “I stole a magic blocker from Undyne’s lab. Working for Napstablook can really fucking pay off sometimes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally when I need someone to instigate violence I use the dog squad. But I already did that so ya'll get evil Burgerpants and Nice cream guy instead.


	32. Worthless

Before either Papyrus or Sans could recover from their shock and make a move, the fox holding the magic blocker stepped back as the circle of goons drew their weapons and closed in on them. Burgerpants attacked first, swinging his nail studded bat towards Papyrus’ face. Papyrus ducked out of its path.

Somebody grabbed Sans from behind, wrapping their arms around his neck and front, pulling him back against their sturdy chest. He whimpered as his body locked up in terror, instinctively clutching at one of their wrists, unable to pull it off. They wanted to rape him. Why did so many people want to rape him? It wasn’t fair.

Suddenly Papyrus was clawing at the face of Sans’ attacker. Sans almost stumbled and fell over as he was released, the rat monster who’d grabbed him jerking back away from Papyrus’ fury.

“ _Don’t fucking touch him_.” Papyrus followed up by grabbing the other monster by the throat and roughly throwing them down to the ground where he kicked their forehead in with a loud crack. Their soul shattered with a sound like breaking glass as their body fell to dust.

Papyrus paid for turning his back on the others though as Burgerpants’ bat connected solidly with the side of his ribcage. Sans flinched at the horrible sound of bones breaking. A few of the others managed to get solid hits in too before Papyrus was pulling back and turning to face them once more.

Despite how much it must’ve hurt Papyrus didn’t seem to notice as he quickly ducked down to grab the rat monster’s weapon off the ground, a bat with a large rusty nail sticking though it. He straightened as he placed himself firmly in front of Sans, swinging the bat at their attackers. It connected, the nail piercing into an arm and getting a surprised yelp of pain. But it did little to deter their onslaught as they kept swinging and stabbing their weapons at him, forcing him to focus more on dodging and blocking than attacking.

With a whimper, Sans retreated several steps back. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t fight, he was too weak and would only get in the way and cause problems for Papyrus. Besides they were vastly outnumbered. And they were all planning to rape him. Why couldn’t they be content with just killing him instead? He deserved no less for getting Papyrus into this situation.

Seemingly forgotten (for now) in favor of taking out the bigger threat, Sans could only watch as Papyrus was driven back. They were forcing him away from Sans and away from the monster holding the magic blocker.

“Once we’re done with you we’re gonna fuck your bro in your dust,” one of the goons taunted. “I bet he’ll…” they cut off with mangled scream as Papyrus’ weapon tore through their throat. They clutched at it, collapsing with a sound like they were drowning.

But the others again took advantage of Papyrus’ distracted fury to get more solid hits in. Someone or something, Sans couldn’t see who or what, caused Papyrus to stumble as one of his legs almost gave out from underneath him. He stayed upright though, but now visibly favored one leg.

Sans couldn’t just stand here, he had to at least try to help. He drew breath to shout something hopefully distracting towards Papyrus’ attackers. But before he could get a single syllable out, a hand wrapped over his mouth.

“You really _are_ broken,” Nicecream said in a half whisper, presumably so that no one would hear him over the sound of the fight. He pulled Sans back so he couldn’t struggle and his arm moving to wrap around Sans’ armored chest, restraining him. “We’re gonna have lots of fun with you once your bro’s dead.” No, that couldn’t happen. They couldn’t kill Papyrus, he was all Sans had left. “But if what Doggo said is true, you’re gonna like it, am I right?”

Tears started to stream down Sans’ face as he tried to rip himself free of Nicecream’s grip, throwing himself forward and desperately trying to wiggle free. But despite being skinny Nicecream was still taller and had more weight than Sans, anchoring him pretty effectively.

“Ha, this is the most fun I’ve had since that time Burgerpants… well actually you don’t need to know about that. But how much longer do you think your bro’s gonna last? He’s already limping so he’s gotta go down soon, right?”

As good a fighter as Papyrus was he was out numbered more than ten to one. Without magic, there was very little chance of him beating those odds, especially since he was already injured bad enough for it to show in his movements. They were going to kill him and they were going make Sans _watch_.

No, he was _not_ going to stand by while that happened. Restrained or not, he was going to do something to stop it. Because how dare they try to kill one of the few good people in the world? How dare they try to make Sans _watch_? No, he _had_ to do something.

With a growl Sans changed tactics, throwing all his weight backward instead of continuing to tug forward. Nicecream yelped in surprise as he lost balance and they both toppled over. Sans recovered quickly, using Nicecream’s body beneath him to push himself back up.

He drew his sword, his eyes roving for the best opening. He locked onto the fox monster with the magic blocker. His back was facing Sans now as he’d stepped closer to watch his pals’ unfair fight against Papyrus where they’d driven him up against the wall of a nearby abandoned building.

But before Sans could take a single step to close that short distance, Nicecream grabbed the back part of his armor’s neck opening, yanking him backwards. “No, ya fucking don’t, ya fucking piece of shit.”

Sans almost called out in surprise as he just managed to stop himself from falling onto his tailbone. He instinctively twisted on his heel instead, using his momentum to swipe his sword at Nicecream as he turned. It sliced through the wooden bat Nicecream had pulled up to block it and into his wrist. Before he could recover or try to retaliate, Sans followed up with a swift thrust to his upper leg, impaling it.

Nicecream screamed in pain, his hands going to his injured leg as he started to collapse. Sans didn’t bother to watch or finish him off as he ripped the sword out and snapped back around to face the fox once more.

He’d turned to face Sans. “Whoa hey, I thought you was supposed to be weak now.” He held the magic blocker close to his chest as if it were a shield.

Sans didn’t have time to reply, he had to destroy the magic blocker so Papyrus could teleport away. Gripping the sword’s hilt with two hands he rushed forward. The fox panicked and started backpedaling, still gripping the magic blocker tightly in front him.

In less than two seconds Sans had closed the distance between them. With a kind of desperation he hadn’t felt in a long time, he thrust his sword into the magic blocker. It was surprisingly fragile as his blade tore through its shell and into whatever kind of machinery was inside. It broke through to the other side, pushing into the fox’s chest and grating against his ribs as it just managed to pierce through them.

The fox yelped in pain as he let go of the magic blocker and hunched over to clutch at the growing red stain on his chest. But Sans was again already turning away, the heavy weight of the magic blocker stuck to his sword. He flicked the sword down as hard as he could and it fell to the ground with a loud clunk as whatever was inside was damaged further.

Turning, he saw that Papyrus’ attackers still encircled him, cornering him with his back against the abandoned building. Right as Sans took a breath to call out that the magic blocker was destroyed, Papyrus’ leg gave up from underneath him and he fell. His attackers cheered as they crowded even closer to beat him while he was down. They were going to kill him. Sans _couldn’t_ let that happen, but they were several feet away, too far to reach with his sword.

He dropped it. As he raised his hand a row of Blasters formed above his head, firing seconds after they came into being.

The monsters attacking Papyrus weren’t prepared, none of them even faced towards Sans. The beams craved through them, killing several of them instantly and leaving silhouetted burn marks on the wall behind them. The survivors, Burgerpants among them, jumped back, quickly scrambling to face Sans. Some clutched at minor or major wounds where the beams had hit them indirectly. Before Sans could rev up another barrage everyone but Burgerpants split, but after shooting Sans a hate filled glare that promised vengeance, he followed.

Sans didn’t care though as he sprinted towards where Papyrus lay in the dust and blood covered snow. “Oh my gosh Pappy are you okay?” Upon reaching Papyrus he skidded to a halt and collapsed to his knees.

“Holy fuck Sans, good job.” Despite his obvious numerous injuries Papyrus smiled at Sans, it was pained and weak but genuine. His burnt orange magic stood out against the white snow and grey dust, soaking into his clothes in several places, as it bled out from who even knew how many wounds. His gold tooth had been knocked out again along with another one on the bottom, more ‘blood’ leaked out from where they used to be. And he clutched at his leg just below the knee, magic soaked through the pant leg where his lower leg was bent at an odd angle.

“Oh my gosh Pappy I’m so sorry. This is all my fault, I’m sorry. If I wasn’t such a worthless burden this wouldn’t have happened and…”

“Sans stop,” Papyrus cut him off. “It’s not your fault so just calm down, ‘kay?” He was breathing heavy, his face contorted with pain.

Sans whimpered, trying to blink away his tears. He could apologize for his worthlessness later, for now he had to get Papyrus somewhere safe to treat his injuries.

“Holy shit that was exciting.”

Sans gasped as he looked up at the new voice. Despite being in the mostly empty part of town their fight had drawn spectators. Spectators were often dangerous, like vultures they waited to prey on monsters weakened by others in a fight.

“Go away.” Sans tried to sound intimidating but the effect was ruined by his tears. If anyone in the small crowd of observers decided to take advantage of Papyrus’ weakened state Sans wouldn’t be able to do much about it.

“Time to go.” Papyrus grabbed Sans’ hand and was teleporting before Sans could tell him how bad an idea that was in his state.


	33. Injured

“Pappy, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Sans said almost the instant they landed in Papyrus’ room with Papyrus laying half-curled on the bed and Sans standing next to him holding his hand. Papyrus should _not_ be teleporting when he was bleeding so much magic.

“Had to… needed to get ya away.” Papyrus’ voice was distant and hazy, his eyes half lidded as his face scrunched up with pain.

Sans let of go his hand to sprint towards the bathroom to grab the first aid kit. He could scold Papyrus for being stupid later, for now he’d just be glad Papyrus had had the sense to at least teleport them somewhere safe with access to a medical kit.

He grabbed the first aid kit, not evening bothering to close the medicine cabinet before turning and sprinting back to Papyrus’ side. First, he had to figure out where Papyrus was injured the worst and take care of that. The obvious place to start would be his broken leg where blood was soaking through his pant leg.

Taking a shaky breath Sans pulled off his gloves and placed them on the bedside table. “Okay Pappy, this going to hurt but I have to do it.” His voice shook but his hands somehow remained mostly steady as he reached to pull off Papyrus’ shoe and roll up his pant leg. He knew how to do this, Papyrus had taught him and he’d done it before. He had to remain calm until he ensured that Papyrus would be all right. He could hate himself for this afterward.

If Papyrus heard him he made no reply, didn’t even stir until Sans was pulling up his pant leg, unable to stop it from brushing over the break no matter how careful he was. He groaned and winced but made no move to try to pull his leg away from Sans.

“Oh fuck.” Sans gasped as he revealed the break in Papyrus’ leg. His tibia had been crushed hard enough that it had snapped. An uneven and choppy break, magic streamed out of the splintered ends, quickly soaking into the blanket and bed beneath.

“It hurts.” Papyrus groaned again, his voice weaker than ever. If even _he_ was complaining about it, it _had_ to be painful.

Sans took a deep breath as he snapped open the first aid kit. He’d only ever dealt with broken bones a few times before and none had ever been quite as bad as this. But he knew how to do it, Papyrus had made sure of that a long time ago.

As he worked he didn’t let himself feel anything, he couldn’t afford to. Worrying about Papyrus would only make him break down crying which would be the opposite of helpful.

Once the leg was cleaned, bandaged, and splint as good as Sans could get it, he moved on to do his best for Papyrus’ other injuries. Which amounted to multiple cracked and fractured ribs, bruises galore, and tons of cracks and fractures in his arms, shoulders, spine and other leg. Most of them were small but some of them weren’t and almost all of them were at least deep enough to draw blood.

Sans worked as quickly and efficiently as he could, cleaning and bandaging over and over until he felt almost like an automaton. Not long after he started Papyrus lost consciousness, either passing out or falling asleep. Neither were good, though the latter was would be slightly better.

By the time he was done it felt like hours and hours had passed, though that couldn’t be right. The first aid kit was practically out of both bandages and disinfectant. They’d have to go to the store to get more soon but for now…

“Pappy?” Sans whimpered as tears he hadn’t let himself shed while doctoring Papyrus spilled over.

Papyrus of course didn’t respond. He lay limp and unconscious. Was it a restful sleep or was he passed out from blood loss? Sans couldn’t be sure but he suspected the latter.

Shaking Sans ran his hands down his now blood-spattered shirt, wiping Papyrus’ spilled magic off. He’d unstrapped his armor a while ago and it now lay on the floor at his feet. Once his hands were as clean as he could get them with how dirty his shirt already was he turned back to Papyrus, trying to figure out what he should do next.

He should probably check Papyrus’ magic levels to make sure he hadn’t lost enough for it to be dangerous. His leg had been bleeding an awful lot after all, even the disinfectant, bandages, and splint hadn’t completely stopped it. And there were several other wounds that had bled quite a bit and the blood lost from his countless minor injuries would add up. The bedding beneath him would have to be changed, there was so much spilled magic on it. Not to mention how he’d foolishly teleported.

But pulling out Papyrus’ soul without his permission would be wrong, wouldn’t it? Except Sans had done it several times before when he’d needed to make sure Papyrus was going to be okay, like he did now. Family did that kind of thing for each other all the time. Papyrus had done that with Sans after he’d tried to… kill himself.

“Oh gosh Pappy please wake up.” Sans shook Papyrus’ shoulder. If Papyrus woke up that would mean he was okay and Sans could ask him to make sure.

But Papyrus didn’t wake up, he didn’t even stir.

So, what was Sans going to do? Invade Papyrus’ personal space to make sure he would be okay? Or just hope that he would be without making sure?

Papyrus wouldn’t be bothered by soul stuff like Sans was, right? He had no reason to be. But it still felt wrong, like doing that might hurt Papyrus further. Which of course wasn’t true, Sans would never have any intention to hurt Papyrus in anyway, but knowing that didn’t change how he felt about it.

Sans took a deep breath, swallowing back tears. “I’m sorry Pappy but… I have to make sure.” The risk of losing Papyrus was too much. And Papyrus would forgive him like he always did.

Mentally bracing himself, he hovered a hand over Papyrus’ sternum. He pulled Papyrus’ soul out with ping that seemed to ring almost accusatory in his ‘ears’. Its glow, not surprisingly, was much diminished. Without a scanner Sans couldn’t know exactly how bad it was but it was obviously not good, it was starting to fade to grey instead of white and its glow was dim.

Was it potentially fatal though? Probably not right now, his soul wasn’t cracked and it did glow even if it wasn’t very bright. But he would need magic to start healing, a lot of magic. Losing so much was dangerous especially if he couldn’t wake up to eat and replenish it. So, what should Sans do about it?

Well, the answer was obvious, lend Papyrus some of his own magic. Like Papyrus had done for him to make sure _he_ would be okay. It made sense and was the logical next step to ensure that Papyrus would be okay eventually but… Sans was still reluctant.

The thought of touching Papyrus’ soul felt wrong. Souls were delicate and in the wrong hands great damage could be done, Sans was far more aware of that than he’d ever want to be. He could never want to hurt Papyrus though, he _knew_ that but still couldn’t shake the feeling of maybe he could do it on accident somehow, as almost impossible as that was.

“Pappy, wake up.” He shook Papyrus’ shoulder again. If given permission and the assurance that it was okay he wouldn’t feel so bad about it.

But of course, Papyrus didn’t wake up. With how much blood he’d lost it was almost a miracle that he’d even managed to teleport them here without passing out right away. So, Sans was on his own in this decision. Not that it was really much of a choice, Papyrus being okay was more important than Sans’ worthless fears.

He took a deep breath and put his hands to either side of Papyrus’ soul, not quite touching it yet. “I have to,” he reminded himself in a whisper before forcing his hands to cup around the Papyrus’ soul. He closed his eyes as he started transferring magic through his hands, taking deep breaths to ward off his tears.

He’d transfer just enough that Papyrus wouldn’t be dangerously low anymore. He’d apologize about it later and Papyrus would undoubtedly forgive him. He probably wouldn’t even be super upset about it so Sans didn’t need to worry about that even if this still felt wrong.

He kept at it for maybe about ten-fifteen minutes before opening his eyes again. Papyrus’ soul looked better. It had lost its grey cast and its glow had strengthened, now purple as well as burnt orange. Sans let go of it, letting it drift back to Papyrus’ chest. Now all he had to do was wait for Papyrus to wake up and try not to think about what he’d just done.

He left to go grab the chair from his room. He dragged it over and placed it by Papyrus’ bedside before pulling himself onto it. He should take a shower, change out of his bloodstained clothes, clean and put his armor away as well as probably some other things he couldn’t think or right now. But those things didn’t seem important enough to bother with even though they should.

Instead he pulled out his phone. He’d call Alphys, let her know he needed some time off training so he could take care of Papyrus, not to mention Papyrus not being able to teleport him there and Sans’ proven inability to safely walk there by himself.

Alphys picked up on the second ring. “Hey Sans, what’s up?”

“Uh…” Sans hesitated. Would she be mad at him because his incompetence had caused Papyrus to get hurt? If she did he would deserve it. “Papyrus got hurt.”

There was a second or two of silence before she replied, her voice serious now. “What happened?”

“Some guys ambushed us and I didn’t see it coming even though I should have and they hurt him.”

“How badly is he hurt?”

“Um… pretty bad. His leg’s broken and he’s super beat up. He’s unconscious right now. They wanted to…” Sans took a deep breath as more tears formed in his eyes. “They wanted to kill him and… and…” his voice lowered to a whisper, “fuck me in his dust.” He bit back sob as more tears flowed from his eyes.

Alphys growled. “Okay Sans first you’re gonna tell me who did it and then you’re going to tell me what happened exactly.” Her voice was filled with barely controlled anger. “And don’t you dare fucking try to imply that it’s your fault Papyrus got hurt, I’ll go over there and slap you if you do, understood?”

But it was Sans’ fault. If he wasn’t so weak that wouldn’t have happened. If he had been paying more attention he would’ve seen the trap coming a mile away and been able to avoid it. If they’d teleported out like Papyrus had wanted to they would’ve gotten away and maybe could’ve reported it to Alphys and gotten her help or possibly Dogamy and Dogaressa’s help dealing with Burgerpants’ gang. The least he could’ve done was destroy the magic blocker faster so Papyrus wouldn’t have been hurt so badly.

“Yeah, understood,” he said anyway, wiping at his tears as he did his best to collect himself once more. “It was Burgerpants and Nicecream, they had several of their gangmates with them.”

“Them really?” Alphys asked, incredulous. “How did a gang of street thug drug dealers get the best of Papyrus?”

“They stole a magic blocker from Undyne’s lab. And they…”

“Oh fuck, shit,” Alphys interrupted. “I guess that explains where that went. Undyne’s not gonna like this. But anyway, explain to me what happened. How did you guys get away if they had magic blocker?”

“Well uh… when they attacked most of them went after Papyrus because I’m not really a threat and stuff.” And they’d wanted to rape him, couldn’t do that if he was dead. “Nicecream grabbed me to restrain so I couldn’t help Papyrus. I managed to fight him off with my sword and then I destroyed the magic blocker. After that I…” Sans froze, straightening in his chair. Had he really done that?

“Then what Sans, what happened?”

“I did it Alphys.” More tears flooded Sans’ eyes, happy tears this time. He shouldn’t be this happy when Papyrus was hurt so bad but he couldn’t help it. He’d really done it, he’d finally used his attack magic properly. And not just anything but his Blasters, several of them at once without crying or thinking about bad things.

“What did you do?” Alphys’ confused voice cut into his thoughts.

“My Blasters Alphys, I summoned them and used them and I…” he hadn’t given it any special thought at the time but he’d _finally_ done it. “I did it, I finally did it.”

“Ah good job Sans!” Alphys whooped. “I knew you could do it. So, ya fucked some dudes up huh? Did any get away?”

“Yeah.” Sans’ elation faded a little at remembering why he’d summoned his Blasters. “I… let them.” He could’ve gone after them harder but he’d been much more concerned for Papyrus. “They were… trying to kill Papyrus. They had him cornered against a building and he fell pretty much right after I destroyed the magic blocker. They were going to beat him to death. I… _couldn’t_ let that happen so I summoned my Blasters, I was too focused on… saving Papyrus to even give it much thought.”

He’d actually saved Papyrus’ life. He hadn’t been a worthless burden after all even if it was still his fault that Papyrus had gotten into that situation in the first place. But he’d finally done something good for once. If it wasn’t for him Papyrus would’ve died.

“I killed several of them in one blast,” he continued after a short pause. “They weren’t prepared so I got them good. The rest ran away and I didn’t chase them or throw any attacks after them because I needed to get to Papyrus and make sure he would be okay.”

“That’s understandable,” Alphys said. “Where are you guys now?”

“Home. Papyrus teleported us here before I could tell him not to.” Though things were probably better this way anyway. Sans would’ve had a lot of trouble dragging Papyrus’ home, both because carrying him with their height differences would’ve been neigh on impossible but also because of how many people they would’ve had to walk by. They would’ve been easy prey if any of their other old enemies had decided on vengeance or if someone had decided they wanted to be known as the person who killed Sans and/or Papyrus.

“All right, I’m gonna call up the dogs and have them find the scene of the crime to start tracking down the ones who got away. And then I’m gonna take the ferry down there to make sure you guys are gonna be okay. So, just sit tight for a bit, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Sans nodded. Good, she was coming down and would hopefully give him something to distract himself with until Papyrus woke up.

“Good, see ya in bit then.”


	34. Visit

Alphys pulled Sans into a bearhug almost the instant he opened the door for her, not even giving him time to close it. He’d been waiting upstairs with Papyrus when she’d texted him that she was at the door.

“You finally summoned your Blasters.” She hugged him almost tight enough to hurt, his feet lifted several inches off the ground. “I _knew_ you could it,” she said as she placed him back on his feet and released him. “You did great.”

“Uh thanks I guess,” Sans said with a small blush. He was happy he’d finally gotten his Blasters to work, maybe even a little proud of himself, but… Papyrus had gotten hurt. Nothing was worth that.

Dogamy entered the house after Alphys moved from the doorway, closing the behind him with his foot as his hands were full. “Here, I retrieved these for you.” He was holding Sans’ sword, now coated in dried blood and the destroyed magic blocker, the hole made by his sword clearly visible.

Not knowing what else to do, Sans accepted them. “What am I supposed with this?” He held up the magic blocker.

“It’s a trophy,” Dogamy said with a grin. “You put it on your wall or wherever you put your other trophies.”

Sans had never been into collecting trophies, he’d never needed remainders or proof of the deeds he’d accomplished. But maybe he’d keep this one for when he was feeling down he could remind himself that he wasn’t always completely useless.

“All right Sans, clean your sword and then change your clothes and take a shower,” Alphys said.

“But…”

“I’m super proud of you but dude you’re covered in your brother’s spilled magic. And I know you’re super concerned about him but you need to remember to take care of yourself too. Which means you need a shower and a change of clothes.”

Sans sighed as he looked down at himself. The front of his white cotton shirt he’d had under his armor was now more burnt orange than white from how often he’d wiped his hands clean on it while doctoring Papyrus earlier. Continuing to wear it wouldn’t make sense. And with how dirty he was a shower was definitely needed even if he didn’t really feel like it.

“Yeah, I know,” he said, his shoulders slumping.

“Good, you said on the phone that Papyrus was unconscious, I presume he still is. I’ll sit with him while you go take care of yourself and your equipment.”

“Okay.” Sans liked that idea, if Papyrus woke up while he was in the shower Alphys could inform him with a shout. “What about Dogamy?”

“I just came to deliver your stuff,” he said. “I’m now going to rejoin my mate in hunting down where Burgerpants and his gang ran off to.” He headed back for the door, closing it behind him as he stepped out.

Sans sighed again as he placed the magic blocker on the coffee table. He’d clean the sword first so it wouldn’t rust and then a take a quick shower so he could go back to waiting for Papyrus to wake up.

“Sans, don’t tell anyone about the magic blocker yet,” Alphys said, freezing him in his tracks as he started for the kitchen. “Undyne could get in trouble if the Queen finds out that a magic blocker got stolen. She’ll find out eventually but I want to keep it under wraps as long as possible, hopefully at least until we can get it sorted out. I haven’t even told Undyne yet because she’s gonna get upset and try to blame herself even though she literally has nothing to do with it. So, we’re gonna wait to inform her until Papyrus wakes up and can ensure her himself that he’s fine, okay?”

“Okay.” Sans nodded. Of course, Undyne wasn’t at fault in anyway, she’d been robbed. It was Sans’ fault for being inattentive and…

“I know what you’re thinking,” Alphys interrupted his thoughts. “It’s not your fault either so don’t you dare even fucking think about it.”

“But…”

“Don’t make me slap you because I meant it when I said I’d hit you if you tried to blame yourself for this. You _saved_ him, remember? And yourself. Now go get cleaned up, I’ll be upstairs with Papyrus. If he wakes up I’ll shout loud enough for you to hear.”

Sans watched half stunned as Alphys marched up the stairs. He had saved Papyrus and himself too but he could’ve done better to prevent Papyrus from being in need of saving to begin with. He just wasn’t allowed to voice that fact around Alphys then.

After cleaning the blood off his sword, he went back upstairs. Before heading to his room to grab a clean pair of clothes he peeked into Papyrus’ room to check on him one last despite how unlikely it was that anything would’ve changed in such a short time.

“Your bro’s real… special huh?” Alphys said. She was standing in the middle of the room, glancing around with a grimace on her face. “I mean like… I’m not a very clean person but _this_ ,” she gestured with her arms to the general mess in the room, “is fucking crazy. How the fuck does he live like this?”

“Yeah uh… sorry about that.” Sans ducked his head in shame. But at least he was feeling bad about a mess again even if it was only because Alphys was upset about it.

“Don’t fucking apologize, it’s his room.”

“Yeah, but… I let it get this bad and uh…” he didn’t care that it was a mess most of the time. Even now he only cared because she did, else he wouldn’t even notice it anymore.

“Yeah, I know, that’s okay. I’ll scold him when he wakes up, don’t worry about it.”

“Please don’t,” Sans said. “He’s hurt so don’t yell at him please, he doesn’t it deserve that. And besides he’s been sleeping in my room for a little while now and he hasn’t made a mess in there.”  In fact, he’d been super careful to keep it clean, even more so than how he was with the rest of the house. It was very unlike him.

“Why would he sleep in your room?”

“I uh… have nightmares and he can sometimes wake me up from them before they get too bad.” Sometimes not though, Papyrus was a kind of heavy sleeper after all even if he was less so these days. But at least he was always right nearby afterward, that helped a lot.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense. Now go take your shower.” She made a dismissive hand gesture towards him. “I wanna talk to you some more when you’re done.”

“Okay.” Sans nodded before exiting once more, softly closing the door on his way out.

 

“First of all, I wanna say once more that I’m proud of how you handled yourself in that fight earlier,” Alphys said. “I was kinda hoping someone would attack you two and you’d fight back even though this is _way_ more extreme than I would’ve liked.”

“You’re glad this happened?” Sans almost growled. “Papyrus could’ve fucking died.” Had almost died and was severally injured, lying unconscious on the bed next to them.

“Calm down, I never said that.” Alphys made a placating gesture. “Either of you guys getting hurt is the last thing I’d ever want. But I am glad you can summon your Blasters again even if you only did it because of how dire the circumstances were. But we need to discuss what we’re gonna do about your training.”

“I can’t,” Sans said. “Papyrus won’t be able to teleport me down there so I’m stuck here until he gets better.” He also wouldn’t be able to go see the babies at Undyne’s. They were going to be sad and he felt bad about that but… after what happened last time he’d rather not go out on his own again. Even if he was more able to defend himself now he might still crumble under the threat of rape like he’d down at the start of the fight earlier. It wasn’t until he’d realized that Papyrus was going to die that he’d even thought of fighting back.

“Yeah no, not gonna happen.” Alphys shook her head in disapproval. “Now that you can use your magic again you need to practice with it or you might start losing it again. Also…”

“What happened earlier doesn’t mean the problem’s fixed,” Sans interrupted. “I’m still… depressed.” That might be the first time he’d ever actually said the word. “I still don’t have any willpower or mental focus most of the time so my normal bone attacks still aren’t going to be very useful.”

“I know but this is a start. You have your Blasters back, they’re you most powerful weapon, be proud of that.”

“Yeah but…” Could he even summon a Blaster on command now? That might’ve been a onetime thing because he’d needed to save Papyrus. And even if he could, though effective without willpower or mental focus and intent to hurt, they were still better with it, especially when it came to summoning more than one at once.

“Also, you need to continue training because sitting around the house worrying about Papyrus all day and night wouldn’t be good for you. So, I’ve decided that until Papyrus is able to walk and teleport around again I’ll come here for your training sessions. And any time you need to leave the house Dogamy or Dogaressa will be your escort so you need to still visit your babies sometimes too.”

“But…”

“No ‘but’s Sans,” Alphys interrupted sternly. “I thought about this a lot on my way down here, I _know_ you’re gonna want to sit around the house and worry about Papyrus all day while stupidly blaming yourself for him getting hurt. As both your best friend and boss I can’t let you do that to yourself, especially after how much progress you’ve made.”

Sans sighed. Alphys was impossible to argue with when she was like this. And he didn’t even care to try, especially since as little as he liked it, she was right. Given the choice he’d mope all day waiting for Papyrus to get better.

“All right, I guess we can do that,” he said with a sigh. It’s not like she’d let him refuse anyway. “But I’m still going to focus on making sure Papyrus is going to be okay. I don’t care what you have to say about that.”

“Of course,” Alphys said. “You’re gonna take care of him because he’s injured and needs it. I’m just trying to make sure you aren’t going to have many opportunities to beat yourself up over what happened. Just make sure Papyrus doesn’t indulge in his own depression either, give him things to do and keep him company. I’m sure Undyne will be by to visit him every so often as well. So, he should be fine.”

“Yeah, okay.” Sans nodded, he wouldn’t dream of doing anything less. “But uh… thanks for coming down here and… stuff, I really appreciate it.” If it wasn’t for her he’d still be stressing about how badly Papyrus was hurt.

“Well uh… what else are friends for?” She grinned awkwardly at him, obviously not used to this level of openness. “But uh… let’s go cook supper. It’ll be just like we used to do, only at your place instead of mine.”

Sans groaned. Eating was the _last_ thing he wanted to be thinking about right now even if he was hungry. “I can’t.”

“Yeah, I know you have that eating thing or whatever that I can’t know about, but you don’t have to eat it when I’m here. You can wait ‘till I leave as long as you promise that you _will_ eat. It’s just your bro’s probably not gonna wake up for a while and we need something to do so why not cook?”

“I… wanna sit with Papyrus though.” He needed to be there when Papyrus woke up to apologize to him about him getting hurt.

“Okay fine, I’ll cook supper then. You have to promise to eat it after I leave though, understood?”

“Understood.” Sans lied. He wasn’t going to eat when Papyrus couldn’t help him with his problem afterward but she didn’t need to know that.

She frowned as if she suspected the lie. But before she could voice her doubt Sans spoke up again.

“Please don’t burn the house down or even the kitchen. We need them to survive.”

“Hey, I only burnt down my house once, okay maybe twice but that second time didn’t count because the stove broke.” She was of course the one who caused the stove to break in the first place. “But I’ll be careful, I promise. Your kitchen is still the nicest fucking kitchen I’ve ever seen, I’m not gonna ruin it.”


	35. Awake

“All right Sans, as soon as I’m gone, you’re gonna eat that supper I made you and then you’re gonna go to bed. No sitting up and waiting for Papyrus to wake up because you need to sleep,” Alphys said, pointing sternly at him.

“Yeah okay, I already said I would,” Sans said with an annoyed huff. “I’m not a child, so you don’t have treat me like one,”

It was almost dark out now and Alphys was about to leave. She’d cooked a ‘supper’ of bacon and eggs somehow not burning it too badly or destroying the kitchen. She’d made enough for the three of them in case Papyrus woke up, he hadn’t, but had been willing to let Sans not eat as long as he promised to after she left. Which he’d had to do several times to appease her, this being the fourth time she’d brought it up.

“I know, I just wanna make sure because… ya know.” She shrugged. “Just make sure to take care of yourself. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” Sans said with a sigh as she exited, closing the door behind her. He wasn’t looking forward to that. What if he couldn’t summon his Blasters after all? She’d be disappointed with him.

He strolled into the kitchen and picked up the plate of bacon and eggs she’d made sure to leave out for him. He was hungry to the point where he was starting to feel dizzy. But… “I can’t,” he said as he spooned it into the trash. He couldn’t deal with what would happen after eating, not by himself, so he’d just not. Skipping one meal wasn’t going to kill him and given the circumstances it was perfectly understandable. If she knew the specifics of his problem she’d for sure let this slide… maybe.

Once he shoveled all the food on the plate into the garbage he placed it in the sink. He should clean it and all the other dishes but he was too tired and didn’t care anyway. He could do it tomorrow. So, he went back upstairs to Papyrus’ room.

“Pappy?” His eyes locked onto Papyrus’ sleeping form, looking for any sign of him waking up. But other than the gentle raise and fall of his chest as he breathed, he lay motionless underneath the blanket that Sans had retrieved from his sleeping bag in the other room. It hid all the bandages covering him and blood-stained sheets underneath. Sans wouldn’t be able to change them until he found a way to move Papyrus without hurting him further.

How long would it be before Papyrus woke up? He’d already been out for a long while so it shouldn’t be too much longer, right? Hopefully.

With a sigh, Sans lay out the sleeping bag in the spot Alphys had helped him clear of trash for this exact reason because there was no way he was going to sleep alone in his room tonight. He flipped the light switch and lay down in it, pulling it tightly to his chin and hugging his pillow with one arm.

He was exhausted. Today had been a long stressful day which piled on top of his usual mental fatigue and how much magic he’d given Papyrus, not to mention having not eaten for so long, should’ve had him falling asleep within minutes of lying down. But now that Alphys wasn’t around to distract him he could only think about how close Papyrus had come to dying earlier and how injured he was now.

What if Sans hadn’t given him enough magic and he died because of it? Or what if Sans’ first aid skills weren’t as good as he thought them and Papyrus ended up bleeding to death anyway? Or made it so his leg wouldn’t heal right and he’d never be able to walk again? Word would get around that Papyrus was injured, depending on how much the spectators had seen it might get out just how badly he’d been hurt. What if someone decided to take advantage of that and Sans couldn’t save him this time? What if Burgerpants and Nicecream came back to finish the job?

Sans whimpered as he pushed himself back to his feet. He couldn’t sleep with all these thought swirling around in his head. And he’d just have a nightmare anyway, so he wasn’t missing out on much.

Filled with nervous energy, he forced himself to perch on the edge of the chair next to Papyrus’ bed once more. He’d sit and wait for Papyrus to wake up. And then Papyrus would tell him that everything was going to be okay and then it would be. He just had to wait. Papyrus would wake up soon, he had to.

***

The first thing Papyrus became aware of was how much everything hurt, like he’d been run over by a steamroller that had then backed up over him to run him over again. He clenched his eyes shut and rolled his head into the pillow beneath him. He didn’t want to wake up yet, he’d rather slip back into blissful unconsciousness where everything didn’t hurt bad.

But… he had to make sure Sans was all right, that was of the utmost importance. So, with a mental groan he forced his eyes open.

He was in his room, on his bed. His jacket was nowhere to be seen, probably in the wash since he’d no doubt bled on it. At least the stains wouldn’t be visible since it was black. Even his sweater had been removed, leaving him with nothing but his black undershirt and boxers. But even without peeking underneath the blanket he could feel that almost every inch of his body was wrapped up in bandages and a heavy weight on one his legs, the one that hurt like hell, which could only be a cast or splint of some sort.

He shifted, pushing himself up a little. His seemingly countless injuries protested at every little movement, but he ignored it as his eyes roved the room for Sans. It didn’t take long to find him. He was on the other side of the room… cleaning? And judging by how much the mess in his room had been reduced, he’d been at it for a while.

Papyrus’ first reaction was a surge of hope. Sans had used to clean all the time, him picking up that habit again could only be a good thing, right? But then he noticed how Sans whole body slumped, every movement unsteady as he if might be about to collapse in exhaustion at any moment. He kept working anyway, bending over to pick up trash and toss it into a trash bag he was holding.

“Sans?” Papyrus said.

Sans froze, instantly dropping the trash bag and turning to look at Papyrus. “You’re awake,” he said with a large exhausted smile.

“Hey baby bro.” Papyrus forced a smile. “What are ya up to? Ya doing okay?”

“I uh… was waiting for you wake and I couldn’t stop thinking that… maybe you wouldn’t. I needed to do something to get my mind off it so I…” Sans gestured to the trash bag with a shrug. He looked _exhausted_ as if he hadn’t slept in days. There were the skeleton equivalent of bags under his eyes, dark rings of magic, and his eye lights were dim and hazy.

He stumbled over to Papyrus’ bedside and collapsed to his knees, his head just high enough rest on the bed. “I’m sorry.” He sniffled as tears formed in his eyes.

“Nah, ya don’t gotta be sorry.” Papyrus held back a grimace of pain as he turned his upper half to face Sans better.

“I do though. You got hurt because of me, you… you could’ve _died_.”

Of course, Sans would blame himself for what happened. He was always beating himself up about everything else so why wouldn’t he add this to it too?

“Nah, it ain’t your fault. If it wasn’t for you I _would’ve_ died.” He’d thought that he was going to, they’d had him beat and cornered. He’d been furious about it and how he’d failed Sans. But then the Blaster beams had come out of nowhere.

“I know.” Sans sounded like he was on the verge of breaking down into sobs. “But… I should’ve seen the trap coming. I would have if I wasn’t so…”

“Sans no,” Papyrus cut him off before he could say whatever degrading thing he’d been about to call himself. “I didn’t notice the trap coming either.” Even though he probably should have, he needed to be as vigilant as possible to protect Sans. “So, it’s my fault too. But trap or no trap we would’ve destroyed them in _seconds_ if they didn’t that have that fucking magic blocker.” Papyrus would’ve ripped them to pieces just for daring to try to mess with him and Sans.

“Yeah but… you wanted to teleport away and I said not to.”

Sans wasn’t going to let this go, was he? Well, Papyrus wasn’t going to let him get away with it. “No, there’s literally no way ya could’ve known or even suspected that they had a magic blocker. If it wasn’t for that your idea would’ve been right. They would’ve hounded us for who even fucking knows how long if we didn’t confront them. You made the right move with how much information you had at the time.”

“Yeah, maybe, I guess. But they attacked us because they wanted to…” Sans froze, more tears trickling down his face. “They attacked because they hate me and wanted to hurt me.”

Papyrus had to hold back an angry growl at the reminder of just what they’d been planning to do to Sans. As _soon_ as he was able to walk again he was going to hunt them down and make them _pay_ for daring to even try.

“You’re not to blame for that,” he said, not disguising his anger. “They hate ya ‘cause they’re pieces of shit that you busted breaking the fucking law a million fucking times. They’re the only ones to blame for what happened and we’re gonna make them fucking pay for it.”

“Yeah, we’ll make them pay.” Sans sounded confident for once, maybe even a little angry. “They deserve it.”

“They’ll get what’s coming to them soon, I promise.” If he could make them pay right this very second, he would without hesitation. But he couldn’t so it would just have wait for later. He took a breath dispelling his anger for now, “But we can’t do that now, so why don’t ya turn out the light and lie down with me?”

“I don’t want to sleep. I’m not even tired.” A blind person could’ve seen the lie in Sans’ words. Literally the only thing keeping him upright was the bed as he slumped against its side.

“That’s fine, ya don’t gotta sleep if ya don’t want to. I just want ya to lie on the bed with me for a bit.” Papyrus gave him an encouraging smile. Tricking Sans into lying down had worked once before and with how tired Sans looked he probably wouldn’t be able to get up again once he did. Sleeping in the same bed wouldn’t be ideal if Sans did have a nightmare but he clearly needed sleep and Papyrus didn’t want him sleeping on the floor even in the sleeping bag.

Thankfully Sans was either too tired to realize he was being tricked or didn’t care and obediently stood up to stumble over to the light switch to turn off the light before returning. Papyrus held up the blanket for him to roll under.

Sans collapsed on the bed next, putting only a small amount of space between them. Papyrus sighed with relief as he allowed himself to relax back onto his back once more, the least painful position.

 At first it seemed like Sans had fallen asleep right away, he certainly looked tired enough for that. But then he spoke, soft and hesitate. “I uh… touched your soul.” He said it like he was admitting to doing something harmful. “I had to, you’d lost a lot magic and… I had to. I’m sorry. You could’ve died if I didn’t so I had to.”

That explained why Papyrus wasn’t feeling as exhausted as he would’ve thought. “It’s okay, ya don’t gotta apologize.” He had no reason to be upset about that, Sans was one of the few people he’d trust to touch his soul. But he could see why Sans was upset after everything he went through with his captor touching his soul.

“I know you’re probably not upset about it but… I feel like I need to apologize anyway.”

Well, if Sans felt like he needed to apologize Papyrus would let him. “That’s okay, I forgive you.”

Sans sighed with obvious relief, he even smiled a little. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” Papyrus smiled back at him. “But uh… ya finally summoned your Blasters again.” So, at least something good had come out of this whole thing.

“Yeah, I did.” Even through his exhaustion Sans sounded proud of himself for once, a more then welcome change.

“That’s amazing. How’d ya deal with the magic blocker?” Papyrus had been too focused on not dying to watch what Sans was doing.

“I stabbed it. I fought Nicecream with the sword too, I didn’t kill him though. I was too focused on trying to help you. I wanted to destroy the magic blocker so you could teleport away but pretty much right after I did you… fell. They were going to kill you and I couldn’t let that happen so… I summoned my Blasters. I didn’t even really realize it until I was telling Alphys about it on the phone.”

“Thanks for saving me. I would’ve been toast without ya.”

The flash of pride and happiness in Sans’ eyes was worth all the pain Papyrus was feeling right now. He’d give anything to keep it there permanently.

“You did a super good job, I’m proud of ya,” Papyrus continued.

“Thank you,” Sans said with a smile. “But I’m really glad you’re okay. Or at least kind of okay, you’re still… injured and stuff.” His face fell a bit as worry clouded it.

“I’ll be fine though, I promise. I just need some time to recover so don’t worry about me, ‘kay?”

Sans looked doubtful as he opened his mouth as if to say something but ended yawning instead.

“Sleep Sans, ya need it, so go to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow.” Papyrus was starting to feel tired again too despite having just woken up. Though going back to sleep when he hurt so much would probably be difficult.

Sans groaned but nodded anyway. His eyes fluttered closed as his body relaxed. Good, he was asleep, now all Papyrus could do was hope that his much-needed rest wouldn’t be interrupted by more nightmares.


	36. Morning

Sans woke the next morning to the sound of his phone ringing. Why had he chosen such a loud annoying ringtone? And why hadn’t he turned it off last night like he should have?

It thankfully stopped after a couple more rings, allowing him to start to drift back to sleep. But then it started up again, loud and insistent, pulling him closer to wakefulness once more. He groaned as he pressed his head into the warm pillow beneath him. As loud as it was it couldn’t ring forever, whoever was calling would give up eventually, hopefully soon.

But it kept going and going, every time it reached the final ring it would start up again a few seconds later. Whoever it was, was very insistent about reaching him. He was too tired to care though, he’d wait it out.

Papyrus groaned, stirring awake after it started ringing for the umpteenth time. “Sans, your phone.”

Sans stayed silent, pretending to still be asleep. He felt bad that it had woken Papyrus up, and if he’d considered that before he might’ve gotten up to answer it, but it was too late to do that now. As soon as it stopped ringing they could both go back to sleep.

“Ugh, c’mon bro, ya probably need to get up anyway.” Papyrus placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a light shake.

“I don’t wanna.” He was too tired to even want to move, let alone go all the way to the other side of the room to answer his phone.

“I know but… it’s like morning or something now so you should probably get up and do stuff. Also, your phone’s driving me crazy and I can’t get up to turn it off. Ya should probably at least see who it is. If they’re calling you so many time it’s gotta be important.”

The only person who would call him at all let alone so many times in a row was Alphys. Sans wasn’t in the mood to deal with her when he was so tired. But if he didn’t answer she’d keep calling until he did or give up and come over here herself to yell at him to answer his phone. Leaving him with no real option but to get up and answer it.

He groaned as he pushed himself up. He felt heavy, tired, and weak with hunger. But… he hadn’t had a nightmare last night, that was good, more than good that was great. Maybe the way to avoid nightmares was to wait to sleep until he was so exhausted he could barely think. Would that be worth it though? And if he decided it was, would Papyrus and/or Alphys let him get away with it? Probably not.

It took a large amount effort to force himself away from Papyrus’ warmth and off the bed. The world seemed to sway beneath him as he straightened and he almost had to sit back down again.

“You okay?” Papyrus asked.

Sans was too tired to answer with anything other than a tired groan. He put his hand on the bedside table to push himself off it as he dragged himself over to the small table next to the wall plug where his phone was on charge. Why did it have to be all the way on the other side of the room?

When he got to it, it was just starting to ring again. Checking the caller ID revealed that it was indeed Alphys. With a sigh, he pulled himself up to sit on the table and accepted the call. “Hello Alphys.”

Alphys took an audible deep breath on the other side of the phone before replying. “That took a lot longer than I thought it was going to but at least you finally picked up.” She was doing a good job of disguising her annoyance but it was still there. “But anyway, good morning Sans. I let you sleep in for as long as I could but now it’s time for you to get up.”

Sans groaned. “Why?” She could’ve let him sleep for longer, couldn’t she? Like at least another hour or two. He was still so tired, almost like he hadn’t slept at all.

“I figure Papyrus probably isn’t in any shape to be waking up at a reasonable time to get you up, so I’m doing it. I’m not gonna let you sleep all day just because your brother is injured. So, you need to get up, make breakfast and do whatever else it is you normally do in the morning. I gonna need you awake and ready to do stuff when I go over there later today for our training session. And more immediately, you need to get up so you can take care of your brother. It’s your responsibility to take care of him until he’s back on his feet.”

That was true. It was Sans’ turn to take care of Papyrus now. Meaning he could no longer lie around while Papyrus did everything for him. But he wasn’t going to complain. He was going to do everything he possibly could to help Papyrus get better even if that unfortunately meant dragging himself out of bed at a kind of reasonable time.

“How is Papyrus by the way?” Alphys continued. “Has he woken up yet?”

Sans glanced over at Papyrus. He was watching Sans with a concerned look on his face. “Yeah, he woke up last night. He’s uh… Pappy, Alphys wants to know how you’re doing?”

“Oh uh… I’m good.” Papyrus gave him a forced smile.

Sans frowned. He didn’t lie to Papyrus about being okay anymore so why was Papyrus lying to him? It was obvious he was in pain and exhausted, much weakened by his injuries. Did he think Sans didn’t see that? Maybe he was saying that because of Alphys?

“He says he’s… good,” Sans said into the phone.

“I doubt he’s telling the truth but I hope he gets better soon anyway,” Alphys said. “But I’ll let you go make breakfast now. I’ll be by later for our training session and I’ll probably bring Undyne with me. I’ll text you when we’re about to head out so you can be ready for us.”

“Okay, see you later then.” Sans sighed as he ended the call and placed his phone back on the table. He turned to face Papyrus once more. “She called to wake me up. She’ll be by later with Undyne.”

“That’s good. But uh… you okay Sans? Ya look…” Papyrus hesitated, worry clouded his face.

“I’m just tired.” Sans rubbed at his eye socket with the heel of his hand. He was tempted to collapse back on the bed and fall asleep but… he had to take care of Papyrus. Which meant making breakfast and finding a way to change the sheets. And his bandages probably needed to be changed too and his injuries rechecked and cleaned again, except they were basically out of first aid supplies. So, Sans would have to go to the store sometime today to buy more.

“Did ya eat anything last night?” Papyrus gave Sans a look that said he already guessed what the answer would be and didn’t like it.

“No.”

“Sans, that’s not…” Papyrus began.

“Yes, I know that’s not good for me,” Sans interrupted. “But you were unconscious and I couldn’t handle the stress of… you know, while you were like that, especially on top of everything else that happened yesterday.” He was paying for it now with his added exhaustion and weak feeling, but it was still better this way. Eating last night would’ve been too much for him.

Papyrus sighed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Just make sure ya eat something this morning, ‘kay?”

“I will,” Sans promised. “But uh… how are you feeling?” Papyrus opened his mouth to reply but Sans interrupted him. “Be honest this time please.”

“Yeah, okay.” Papyrus sighed with a resigned look. “Everything hurts and I’m super stiff and exhausted.”

“I’ll get you some pain reliever. I don’t think we have any of the strong stuff though.” Sans would probably have to get some of that too. He’d have to ask Alphys for an early paycheck to afford everything he would need. And then he’d have to leave the house to go buy everything… alone, without Papyrus there to protect him.

“That’s fine,” Papyrus said with another forced smile. “It doesn’t bother me that much.”

Even if that was true, which knowing Papyrus it probably wasn’t entirely false, Sans would still prefer for him to be in as little pain as possible. And he needed to go out for more medical supplies and eventually food anyway, might as well get that too. But he’d worry about finding a way to do all that _after_ breakfast.


	37. One Thing at a Time

Cooking while super hungry turned out to be its own special form of torture. Had fried eggs and toast always smelled so good? And had they always taken so dreadfully long to cook? But at least the smell of food served to wake him up a bit more.

It seemed to take forever before he’d finally finished. He put it on two plates which he placed on a standing tray to make it easier to carry upstairs to Papyrus’ room. “How are you feeling?” he asked as he entered. After placing the tray on the bedside table, he closed the door.

“Uh, a bit better,” Papyrus said. Sans had given him some pain pills before he’d gone down to make breakfast. The bottle now resided in the nightstand’s drawer. “That smells good, what’d ya make?”

“Eggs and toast. Alphys used the last of the bacon last night.” She’d burnt about half of it way beyond the point of being edible and had tossed it into the garbage. He hadn’t found out about it until this morning when he’d gone looking for it and knowing Alphys’ cooking habits had ended up checking the trash. She’d hidden it underneath a wad of paper towels that had been suspiciously clean. He was maybe even a little annoyed about it. “You think you’ll be able to sit up to eat?”

“Uh… maybe.”

“Hold on, I’ll help.” Sans left to get more pillows from his room. He returned and used to him gently prop Papyrus up a little more. “That good?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Papyrus smiled at him. “Sorry ya gotta do so much work. I’d uh…”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” Sans interrupted. “You’ve done a lot of stuff to take care of me, I guess it’s my turn to pay you back a little.” Not that he’d ever be able to fully pay him back for everything he’d done and continued to do for Sans, not even in a thousand lifetimes.

After grabbing his plate off it, placing it on the nightstand, Sans put the standing tray over Papyrus’ lap.

“Thanks,” Papyrus said.

Sans nodded, humming his acknowledgement. As hungry as he was he was suddenly reluctant to eat again. This morning had already been not good so far, eating would only make it worse.

It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t he have been conditioned to react like a gross whore to something that he didn’t need to do to survive? Like almost literally anything else.

“It’ll be okay Sans,” Papyrus said. “When we’re done eating we’ll play chess like we always do. So, don’t stress about you know what, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Sans nodded. Everything was going to be all right. They were going to wait it out like they always did and then move on. So, he didn’t need to worry about it.

He forced himself to eat slow to match Papyrus’ pace, sluggish due to the stiffness caused by his injuries. Once they were done his magic formed in his pelvis the way it always did, uncomfortable and wet.

“I’ll go get the chess board.” Sans grabbed their dirty plates before leaving. He carried them downstairs and deposited them in the sink. He still needed to do the dishes but not right now. He grabbed the chest board and walked awkwardly back upstairs to Papyrus’ room.

“Hey bro, thanks for cleaning my room up some last night,” Papyrus said as Sans closed the door behind himself with a soft click.

Sans glanced around the room, he’d almost forgotten he’d done that because of how tired he’d been. It was better, still a mess but noticeably better nonetheless. “Yeah, I should probably finish doing that.” Papyrus was going to be stuck in his room for at least until he was able to get around on crutches, the least Sans could do was clean it up for him.

“You can worry about that later, let’s play some chess, huh?”

“Yeah.” Sans sat down in the chair by the bed once more, perching on the edge of it. He moved the standing tray to be on the bed between them and placed the chess board on it, it was just wide enough. “You okay?” he asked as he started setting up the pieces.

Papyrus shrugged. “Yeah, just tired and in a bit of pain but it’s… whatever.”

Once all the pieces were set up Sans took the first move. It wasn’t just ‘whatever’ to him, but he couldn’t do much about it. “I’m going to have to change the sheets on your bed later. I should’ve done it yesterday but I didn’t want to disturb you when weren’t ready to wake up on your own.”

“That’s fine.” Papyrus took his own move. “I’ll just teleport off for a bit while you do that.”

“I’m not sure I like that idea. Using magic can’t be good for you right now.” Not to mention the teleport itself might jar his injuries.

“Nah, I won’t be going far so it’ll be fine. It’ll be easier on both on us.”

Sans didn’t like it but did he really have a choice? Papyrus teleporting off the bed would be easier on him than moving him any other way. And even though it was technically possible to change the sheets while Papyrus was still on the bed Sans had never done anything like that before so he’d probably only make things even more uncomfortable for Papyrus.

“All right, fine.” He conceded with a sigh. “We’ll do that sometime later today. But… there’s still something else I need to do sometime soon.” Something he was very much not looking forward to.

“What is it?” Papyrus asked.

“We’re almost out medical supplies and we need more.”

Papyrus looked confused for a moment before it seemed to click into place for him. “Ask Alphys to bring some.”

“I guess that could work.” Sans hadn’t thought of that before. “Assuming she’s willing to do that.” It was possible she’d want him do it, she was always pushing him to be more independent after all.

“Call and ask her.”

Sans didn’t want to talk to her when he was all gross like this even if it was impossible for her to figure out what was up over the phone. “Maybe after…” he gestured towards their chess game.

“That’s fine, there’s no need to call her right now anyway.”

After that they played mostly in silence other than small talk about inconsequential topics. Maybe because of his stress about so many other things or something else it only took until they were about halfway through their third game before Sans’ magic dispelled.

“It’s gone.” He sighed with relief. “Thanks.” His first instinct was to stand up and move over to hug Papyrus tight, like he always did, but alas, he couldn’t do that without upsetting Papyrus’ injuries.

“Good.” Papyrus smiled at him. “Ya wanna finish the round anyway?”

“Yeah, sure.” Sans liked playing chess so there was no reason not to finish. He was maybe even starting to get good it, though how good was hard to judge when Papyrus was always going so easy on him.

He won, as always, but just barely, making it a little exciting.

“Wow,” Papyrus said as Sans checkmated him. “I uh was actually trying to win that time.”

Sans frowned at him. That couldn’t be true, could it? If it was Sans would’ve only won because Papyrus was exhausted and thus not on top of his game. So, it didn’t mean much if anything.

He packed up the chess board and placed it on the bedside table along with the tray. When he went downstairs later he’d bring the tray with him but the chess board could stay in here, they’d be needing it later anyway.

“Okay, now I need to change the sheets and after that call Alphys to ask her to bring medical supplies when she comes by later,” Sans reminded himself aloud. Once done with that he’d figure out what he’d need to do next based off whether or not Alphys was going to bring him what he needed. One thing at a time though.

“Sure, I’ll move then,” Papyrus said. There was a pop as he disappeared followed a second later by another one behind Sans.

Sans snapped around to see that Papyrus had teleported to the sleeping bag so that he was lying on top of it. His face was contorted with pain. “Ah fucking…” he groaned.

“You okay?” Sans stood, stiff with fear and ready to run over there if Papyrus needed him.

“Yeah, I’m… good.” Papyrus grimaced but gave Sans a weak thumbs up. “That just hurt a lot more than I thought it was going to but I’m fine.”

“Are you really okay or are you just saying that?” Sans _needed_ to know.

“Yeah, I’m as okay as I can be right now, I promise. So, don’t worry ‘bout me, kay?”

It wasn’t possible for Sans not to worry. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You can take your time changing the sheets so I can rest for a bit.”

“I can do that but you’re not teleporting again. When I’m done I’ll find another way to get you back on the bed.” Sans had been right about teleporting not being a good idea. “But why didn’t you at least teleport to my bed?”

“I uh… didn’t wanna leave ya alone while you were making my bed for me. I’d help if I could but… I can’t so I’ll just offer moral support instead.”

“Oh, okay.” Sans would’ve still preferred Papyrus rest somewhere more comfortable but he did appreciate the company.

Sans took the blanket and pillows off, all thankfully unstained. He moved over to Papyrus to put one of the pillows beneath his head and drape the blanket over him. It wasn’t perfect but it would do until the bed had clean sheets.

“You’re the best, bro,” Papyrus said.

“Thanks.” Sans turned away to head back over to the bed. He grabbed the blood-stained sheet and pulled it off in one smooth tug. He bundled it up in his arms before pausing at the sight of the now bare mattress.

Not surprisingly, it was stained too. But only a few of dark spots marring its surface were obviously spilled magic. There were a bunch of what could only be stains left by food and drink and who even knew what else. It was disgusting. No way was Sans going to let Papyrus lie on it again until after it had been properly cleaned.

That would be so much work though. Maybe he could just move Papyrus to his bed for now and clean this bed later. But if he did that he’d never get around to it. So, he either had to muster up the energy to clean it now or leave it in its disgustingness for who even knew how much longer, probably years if not forever.

He let out a heavy breath as he resigned himself to his fate. He’d clean it now. It was the least he could do for Papyrus after everything Papyrus always did for him. And his own bed was probably dirty now too, it hadn’t been cleaned in months and he’d eaten on it more than once over the past two months.

Upon reaching his decision he finished bundling the dirty sheet up and headed for the door. He fast walked downstairs and tossed it into the washing machine. The stains wouldn’t ever come out but at least Papyrus’ blanket hadn’t been dirtied due to the fact that it had been in Sans’ room.

After setting the washing machine to an appropriate setting he grabbed a fresh bedsheet out of the linen closet, one of the few spares they had, and Papyrus’ jacket from the dryer. There were a few holes in it that he’d have to stitch up sometime later but it being clean and dry would do for now. He then went back upstairs.

“Cool, ya got my coat,” Papyrus said as Sans entered.

“Yeah, it’s got some holes in it though so I’ll I have to fix it before you can wear it again.” Sans didn’t know when he’d get a chance to do that but hopefully soon. For now, he hung it in the closet, standing on a box to be able to reach the clothes bar. “But uh… do you think you’ll be okay there while I clean your mattress or should I try to move you somewhere more comfortable first?”

“Ah bro, ya don’t gotta do that. I know it’s a mess but…”

“It’s gross,” Sans interrupted. “Some of your injuries could get infected if you lie on it any longer. So, you want me to move you to my bed while I clean it? Because it’s probably going to take a while.”

Papyrus gave him a look that he couldn’t quite read but it was maybe positive. “Nah, I’m good here. I still gotta offer moral support anyway.”

Sans sighed in relief. Company and small talk would make his task easier to bear. But once he was done cleaning the mattress he still had so many other things to do. Like calling Alphys to ask her to bring medical supplies, possibly going to get them himself if she refused, checking Papyrus’ injuries to clean and rebandage any that need it, Alphys would be over later for their training session, and later he’d have to cook and eat again.

He almost teared up at the thought alone, it was all so much to do in a single day and he was already feeling ready for bed. But… he would deal with those things when he got there. He just had to focus on one thing at a time and right now that thing was getting Papyrus’ mattress cleaned.


	38. Clean

It was clean! Sans had done it, he’d gotten all the stains out of Papyrus’ mattress, minus the magic stains since those were never coming out. He’d even flipped it over to clean both sides and so the bloodstains would be on bottom.

He was probably prouder than he should’ve been for such a small task, the mattress wasn’t even that big. But it didn’t matter. He’d finally accomplished something and even better it had been something he’d _chosen_ to do.

“Done?” Papyrus asked. He’d been a constant source of encouragement the entire time Sans had worked, saying he was doing a good job or just talking to him in general.

“Yeah.” Sans nodded as put the rest of his cleaning supplies back in their portable little plastic tub that he used to carry everything around in. It had been super useful back when cleaning had been an almost daily thing for him. He hadn’t brought it out from its usual spot underneath the sink in what felt like years.

“Thanks, you’re super awesome, ya know that, right?”

“Oh, I uh… I’m not sure about that. It shouldn’t even be a big deal or anything.” Sans used to do that and more every few months. It being an achievement only showed how little he’d accomplished lately.

The proud almost happy look on Papyrus’ face faltered. “Don’t think like that. Ya did a super good job and I’m super-duper proud of you, prouder than I could ever hope to express. So, don’t put yourself down.”

“I’m sorry.” Sans hadn’t meant to upset him, nothing new there though.

“Don’t be.” Papyrus smiled at him, genuine even if he was still visibly exhausted and in pain. “You did an _amazing_ job and you should be proud of that.”

“You really think that?” Sans asked. “I used to do stuff like that all the time. Heck, I used to do a lot more than that and have it be just a normal day. You used to get annoyed with me about how clean I wanted everything to be.”

Papyrus sighed. “That was before… ya know.” Before Sans had been broken beyond repair. “Things are… different now. I can’t even imagine how hard everything is for you, especially now that I’m like this and can’t help ya with stuff anymore. But ya did something anyway, and that’s a lot, so be proud of yourself.”

“Yeah, okay.” Sans nodded. It wasn’t much but at least it was still better than he’d done in months. And he’d saved Papyrus’ life yesterday, meaning he’d done something useful two days in row. If he could do something tomorrow too that’d be three days, then four the next day and so and so forth.

“Also,” Papyrus said, “just thank you for cleaning my mattress. I uh probably shoulda done that ages ago. So, thanks for doing it for me since I can’t right now. I’ll try to be better about that kinda thing in the future, I promise.”

“You’re welcome.” Had being genuinely thanked always felt so good or was this new due to his brokenness?  He couldn’t know because he couldn’t remember any instance where anyone, not even Papyrus, had had cause to thank him for something before he’d been captured.

Sans checked the mattress, pressing his hands on it to see if it had dried yet. It had so he grabbed the clean bedsheet from the chair and pulled it over the mattress, tucking the corners in to make sure it would stay. He then grabbed the pillows to put at the head of the bed. Now all he had to do was find a way to get Papyrus back on it without hurting him.

Before he could even turn around to ask Papyrus for advice there were two pop sounds in quick succession and Papyrus appeared on the bed. Like last time he instantly grimaced in pain and groaned.

“What the fuck Pappy?” Sans said. “I thought I told you not to do that.”

“Yeah but, it’s easier on ya this way.”

“That doesn’t matter. It _literally_ causes you pain.” No amount of convenience was worth that. “Don’t you ever fucking do that again.”

Papyrus looked at him shocked for a few seconds before he burst out laughing. He winced with more pain but stayed grinning anyway. “It’s been a long time since ya yelled at me.”

“I wasn’t yelling.” Sans crossed his arms. “I was scolding you because I don’t want you to hurt yourself. If you keep teleporting like that you might make your injuries worse.” And what if Papyrus hurt himself bad enough that he became permanently crippled or… what if he died? Sans wouldn’t be able to handle that.

“Okay, it’s been a long time since ya scolded me. I kinda miss it.”

Sans frowned. “How?” Sans had yelled at him and scolded him for all kinds of things that didn’t matter. How could Papyrus miss that?

“I just do.”

Sans sighed. “Just… please don’t teleport anymore. I don’t like to see you pain and you really could hurt yourself more.”

“Okay, I promise I won’t teleport anymore for now. If ya ever need to move me again I’ll let ya figure something else out, ‘kay?”

Sans nodded. “Thanks.” He walked over to retrieve the blanket to drape it over Papyrus once more.

“Ya wanna take a nap with me now?” Papyrus asked once Sans was done making sure the blanket covered him.

A nap sounded _very_ appealing, Sans was tired both physically and mentally. “But…” he shouldn’t, right? Sleeping all day wasn’t good for him no matter how tired he was.

“A short nap should be fine as long as ya don’t sleep for too long. And you’ve done a lot today already so ya deserve a short break.”

If Papyrus said it was okay then it was, right? And he’d stayed up late last night waiting for Papyrus to wake up so it made sense that he’d be extra sleepy. So, as long as he didn’t sleep for too long, maybe like half an hour or an hour at most, he should be fine. And he had done a lot today already with more to come later, a short nap might make that a bit more bearable. He’d at least hopefully be a little bit more rested.

What if he had a nightmare though? Nightmares during naps weren’t as common as they were with regular sleep but they still happened sometimes. And it was on the bed, making the possibility of him sleeping deep enough to dream higher.

“I’ll uh… lay down with you while I call Alphys.” Sans could rest without falling asleep, right? “You want me to turn off the light?”

“Sure.” Papyrus yawned. He deserved to get as much rest as possible. Though if he was able to get any real sleep with the pain of his injuries Sans didn’t know but he hoped so.

After flipping the light off, Sans grabbed his phone and lay down on the bed next to Papyrus. It smelled nice now, clean and fresh. He’d done a good job.

He dialed Alphys’ number, he’d memorized it some time ago and somehow still hadn’t forgotten it despite everything he’d been through. She picked up on the third ring.

“Yo Sans, what’s up?” she said.

“Uh… do you think you could do me a favor please?”

“Depends on what it is?”

“Well, yesterday I used pretty much everything in the first aid kit and I need to restock it. Do you think you could give me an advance on my paycheck just this once? And uh maybe… buy the stuff for me to and bring it here when you come over later?”

“I…” she started to reply before Sans interrupted her.

“It’s just, well you know what happened last time I went out on my own. So, I’m scared to leave the house without Papyrus and he obviously can’t come with me so I’d have to go to the store all by myself. And I uh can’t, I’m not…”

“Sans it’s okay,” Alphys cut him off. “I don’t expect you to be leaving the house all by yourself anytime soon.”

“So, you’ll help me?” Why did he have to sound so pathetic?

“Yes, I’ll help. I’m going to give both you and Papyrus an advance on your paychecks and they’ll be good because you’re both back on duty again.” If what she’d said a while ago was true she was going to bend the rules and have them paid as if they were both working full time even though they weren’t, so the money _would_ be good. Well, as good as it had been before Sans had been kidnapped anyway. “I’m not going to store for you though.”

“But Alphys I can’t…”

“I’ll go to the store with you instead,” she interrupted once more, her tone stern. “I was planning on taking you out for a walk around Snowdin anyway, the store would be the perfect place to go.”

“Why?” Sans couldn’t leave the house without Papyrus. Alphys knew that so why would she want to put him through that?

“Because word will have gotten around about your fight yesterday. People will know that Papyrus is injured, so they’ll be watching for any sign of weakness on your part that they might be able to take advantage of. So, they need to see you out of the house acting like it’s no big deal. We already know from yesterday that some people still hold a grudge against you and possibly Papyrus too. He’s been the only thing that’s stopping some of them from trying to hurt you since you got back. But he’s injured now so they need to think that you’re back to your old strength. And that means you can’t hole up in your house, they’ll think you’re a coward if you do.”

Sans groaned. Why did she always have to be right? Why couldn’t she be wrong about something just once?

“You’ll be with me though, remember?” Alphys continued. “You know you’re safe with me, right?”

Sans took a deep calming breath. “Yeah.” With Alphys was the second safest place for him.

“You’ll also have you Blasters, armor, and sword, so you’ll be fine. And you do have to go to the story anyway. I wouldn’t know what to buy and if you told me I’d probably forget something or get the wrong thing. You know how I am with shopping lists and uh shopping in general.”

Sans nodded despite the fact she couldn’t see it. He could theoretically defend himself and Alphys being there would deter most people from messing with him. So, it would be fine. Not to mention she probably _would_ forget something or buy him something he didn’t need. He’d just do what he needed to do about getting himself seen and buy want he needed at the store and then he’d go home again, safe with Papyrus. “Yeah, okay.”

“Good, I’ll be over in like an hour with Undyne so be ready for us.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then.” Sans let out a breath as he hung up.

“What happened?” Papyrus asked, his voice heavy with worry. “You okay?”

“Yeah I’m okay. It’s just I have to go to the store with Alphys later. She can’t go for me because people need to see me so they don’t think I’m a coward.” Even though he was.

“I guess that probably makes sense.” Papyrus frowned. “Since I can’t really… ya know.”

“Yeah. They need to think I’m strong so they won’t try to take advantage of this. But I’ll be with Alphys so I should be okay.”


	39. Store

“Hey Sans, how’s it going?” Alphys said with her usual energy as soon as Sans opened the door for her and Undyne.

“Okay I guess.” Sans shrugged. He was still tired, even after lying down for almost a full hour. He was _not_ looking forward to their inevitable outing to the store.

“How’s Papyrus?” Undyne asked as Sans closed the door behind them.

“He’s been better.” Despite his idea to take a nap he hadn’t been able to fall asleep as far as Sans could tell. Which, considering the fact that he could normally sleep almost anywhere at any time on top of his exhaustion said something about how uncomfortable he had to be.

“I’m _so_ sorry Sans,” Undyne said. “When the uh magic blocker went missing I just thought that I’d uh… misplaced it somewhere in my lab or s-something. You’ve seen it, it’s uh kinda messy, stuff disappears in it all the t-time. I uh… complained to Alphys about it but uh didn’t tell her it might’ve been stolen on anything so she didn’t think to go look for it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “You were robbed.”

“Exactly,” Alphys said. “The fault lies entirely with the asshats who stole it and used it to hurt Papyrus. If either of you ever try to suggest otherwise again I’ll slap you, gently but hard enough to hopefully knock some sense into you.” She was undoubtedly serious about that too.

“Also Sans,” Undyne began, not meeting his gaze anymore. “I know you uh… don’t like it but your brother does and uh… well uh…”

“She brought him some of her marijuana,” Alphys cut in to finish for her.

“Yeah.” Undyne nodded sheepishly. “It’s just uh… I grow it as you know and uh I figured he might want some to pass the time and maybe make him feel a bit uh better. Alphys told me what kind of shape he was in so I… thought I’d bring some. It’s okay if you don’t want me to give it to him, I uh know how you feel about stuff like that so I uh apologize if I offended you.”

It was almost funny how nervous she was. It shouldn’t be, she was like that because of how mad he’d gotten at her when he’d learned that she was the person supplying Papyrus with pot back when he’d cared about stuff like that. But she had to know he didn’t care about that kind of stuff anymore, didn’t have enough energy. And it wasn’t his place to say what Papyrus could or could not do, it never had been no matter what he might’ve thought. Also, if it helped Papyrus feel better he wouldn’t ever dream of trying to tell him not to do it.

“It’s fine,” he said. “If he wants it feel free to give it to him.”

Undyne looked him, shocked. “Really?”

“Yes really. You honestly think I can still care about that kind of shit?”

 “Oh, I guess not.” Undyne wrung her hands together. “But uh… how you holding up? Papyrus being injured must be really hard on you.”

Sans shrugged. “He’s still alive and awake now so… it could be worse.” If Papyrus had died he wouldn’t have had any reason left to keep going.

The sad look on Undyne’s face said that she suspected what he might be thinking. But she didn’t say anything about it. “If uh you or your brother ever need anything feel free to call me and I’ll do my best to help.”

“Oh… thanks.” Sans hadn’t expected an offer like that but appreciated it nonetheless. She already did more than Sans could ever ask of her though, she took care of octopus babies for him, so he’d probably never take her up on it.

“All righty then.” Alphys clapped her hands loudly. “Undyne you go keep Papyrus company, me and Sans have some shopping to do. So, go get your armor and sword Sans, I’ll wait for you here.”

Sans had to hold back a tired groan as he left to go do as commanded. This was going to be awful. But he had Alphys with him so he’d be safe. Hopefully she’d be okay with them doing what they needed to do as fast as possible.

He went upstairs with Undyne, following her into Papyrus’ room first.

“Hey Undyne what’s up?” Papyrus said as they entered.

“Not much.” Undyne perched nervously on the bedside chair.

“Hey Pappy,” Sans said. “Me and Alphys are going to go to the store now. I just thought I’d let you know before we left.”

“’Kay,” Papyrus said. “See ya in a bit then. Just… be careful please.”

“I will. And Alphys will be with me so it should be fine. I’ll uh come back up here for a bit when we get back.” Alphys was no doubt going to want to do their training session when they got back. He wasn’t looking forward to it but he’d deal with it when they got there, first he had to get through the trip to the store. “See you then.” He sighed to himself as he left, softly closing the door behind him.

He then went to his room to grab his sword and armor, he’d cleaned it too last night. He put them on, still a bit clumsily due to how long it had been since he’d regularly worn armor. But at least he could do it without having to ask for help, that would just be sad.

“Yo, ya look awesome,” Alphys said as he descended the stairs a few moments later. “Now you just gotta act tough and no one will mistake you for being weak.” She gestured for him to follow her to the door.

“I am weak though.” Pretending to be tough wouldn’t change it that.

Alphys paused in her tracks before snapping around to face him once more. “No, you’re not. The last thing I’d ever fucking call you is ‘weak’. I’m not stupid, I see how difficult a lot of the shit I’m asking you to do is for you. I can’t even fucking imagine how hard it is after all that horrible shit you’ve been through. But you’re fucking doing it anyway, or at least trying to. So, don’t you dare call yourself ‘weak’ when you’re putting so much fucking effort into recovering. I better not ever even hear those damn words come out of your mouth again, understood?”

Sans stood frozen, blinking in surprise during her whole tirade. He hadn’t expected that in the least. Normally she wouldn’t tolerate anything that even resembled weakness and had yelled at her troops for it more times than Sans could ever know. He’d assumed she’d tolerated his because they were old friends, not that she actually didn’t think he was weak.

“Sans,” she said after a few seconds of stunned silence, her tone filled with command.

“Yeah, uh understood.” Sans even lifted one of his hands in a small salute.

“Good, now let’s go shopping.” She turned on her heel and resumed striding towards the door.

Sans hesitated for another second before following. Once outside he locked the door behind them and to his credit his hands only shook a little bit as he pocketed the key once more. He took a deep calming breath as he started walking beside her.

“Thanks,” he said, his voice just barely more than a whisper to minimize the possibility of anyone overhearing. Regardless of whether her reasoning for why he wasn’t weak was sensible or not, it was nice to hear her acknowledge how hard a lot of stuff she was asking him to do was and how much effort he had to put into doing it. But if he wasn’t weak, those things wouldn’t be so difficult, right?

Alphys acknowledged his thanks with a small grunt and nod, not saying anything.

As they walked side by side down the street, people watched them. It wasn’t every day the Captain of the Royal Guard came down to Snowdin and everyone probably knew about yesterday’s fight by now. Sans did his best to ignore it and look straight ahead as he walked.

He tried to keep his expression neutral and his body straight in an attempt to hide his nervousness and fear. He had to pretend this was just a casual stroll to the store. Which it was, or at least should’ve been. He was the one making it a big deal. He was with Alphys, no one would even try to hurt him when she was around and he’d proven yesterday that his ability to fight was coming back, so he didn’t need to worry.

So, why was he still afraid? Because he was always afraid whenever he left the house, even when he was with Papyrus, being away from him only made it worse. Everything bad that had happened to him had occurred when he was out of the house. But that didn’t mean anything, he’d been out of the house hundreds of times before and been fine, as he would be this time. So, there was no rational reason behind his fear but knowing that didn’t make it go away any.

He was a coward trying to convince everyone he was the opposite. Would he be able to fool anyone? The sword and armor could only do so much to make him look strong. He needed to act the part too, he wasn’t sure how well he could do that. But he had to, people needed to think that he was once more capable of defending himself and Papyrus. Thinking about it wasn’t going to help though and would only make it harder to do.

 “Hey uh Alphys,” he said after they’d been walking for a little while. “Have you found them yet? Burgerpants, Nicecream, and their gang?”

“No. Unlike Doggo and his crew if anyone knows where they are, they’re not willing to turn them in yet. And the dogs lost their scent in the river.”

“You’ll tell me when you have them in custody, right?”

Alphys grinned at him. “You’re starting to sound a little dangerous again, that’s really good. But yes, you and Papyrus will be informed as soon as possible once they’ve been arrested them.”

“And they’ll die for what they did?”

“They stole property that technically belongs to the Queen, so yes, they’ll be executed for their crimes this time. Or at least Nicecream will be since he’s the one who stole it, depending on what Queen Toriel says once we inform her. If you want I can have you be the one who does it.”

Did that Sans want that? Performing executions had never been something he’d been into before and as he’d proven with the dogs, them dying wouldn’t change anything or undo the damage they’d done. But they’d hurt Papyrus and had been trying to kill him so executing them himself might feel _very_ good, Papyrus certainly seemed to enjoy that kind of stuff when it came to avenging something done to Sans.

“Yeah, I’ll do it,” he said with confidence he didn’t feel. It might end up being just as disappointing as killing the dogs had turned out to be. But even if that was the case they still deserved to be hurt for what they’d done to Papyrus.

“Good, I’m proud of you.” Alphys nodded.

Soon after that they reached the store. Like every other building in Snowdin it was shoddy and rundown, sagging as if even it too felt oppressed by the Underground’s dark atmosphere. The door’s bell rang softly as they entered and the shopkeeper, a tall orange rabbit monster, turned her head to look at them.

“Captain Alphys?” she said, rising an eyebrow.

“Yep, that’s me.” Alphys wouldn’t be saying anything to explain her presence here, no one needed to know she was here mostly to protect Sans. But she was the Captain of the Guard, she could do whatever she wanted and few, if any, would ever dare to question her.

The shopkeeper frowned slightly but smiled once more as she turned her gaze towards Sans. “And Sans, I haven’t seen you without your brother in what feels like ages. The talk around town is that he was almost killed but you just barely saved him with your Blasters.”

“Yeah, I did,” Sans said. There was no use trying to deny it or put it any other way.

“Does that mean you got your old fighting spirit back?”

No, not even close. But she and everyone else needed to think otherwise. “Yes.” He nodded firmly, trying to look and act as confident as he could. How had he ever been so sure of himself when he was so small?

“That’s good. How is brother? He doing all right?” She was fishing for information.

“He’s okay.” Sans did his best to sound neutral, like it wasn’t a big deal. He maybe even succeeded. “He’s not actually hurt that bad, just a broken leg and a few bruises.” If everyone thought Papyrus wasn’t in too bad a shape they’d be less likely to try to take advantage of it.

“That’s good to hear.” The shopkeeper gave him a gentle smile. “I hope he gets better soon.”

“Uh thanks.” Sans nodded.

“Kay, go do your shopping now, I can always use the business.”

The conversation over, Sans gratefully headed deeper into the store with Alphys. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this,” he said once they were out of earshot of the shopkeeper. Had she been fooled by his act? He couldn’t tell.

“Nah, you got this. Just be like that every time you interact with other people and everything’ll be okay.” Alphys patted him heavily on the arm. “But uh, one more thing. I wasn’t originally gonna say anything about this but since I’m taking you shopping and stuff I… may owe you a pack of bacon.”

Sans had almost forgotten about that and was surprised she’d bother to bring it up, she had to know he wouldn’t have confronted her about it. “You mean because you burnt all of it last night?”

“Well yeah but… that wasn’t my fault. It just sorta randomly caught fire so I had to throw it out, like two panfuls. But like I said, I had nothing to do it, it just… caught fire for literally no reason at all, I swear.”

“I’m sure it did.” Even if Sans had been a little annoyed about it this morning he had trouble staying that way, especially since this was her way of apologizing for it. “But you giving us an advance on our paychecks more than makes us even, so don’t worry about it.”

“Good, glad we got that shit sorted out.” She clapped her hands before she started heading down a random isle. She paused after several seconds and turned to face him once more. “Now what all do you need to buy again? And what isle is it in?”

“I know where everything is, so just follow me.”


	40. Smoking

Smoking pot after so long of not smoking pot only made the high better and stronger even with the reduced amount, Papyrus’ weakened state probably helped to. But this was the first time since since he’d woken up after the fight that he wasn’t in too much pain and what was still there, mainly his broken leg and some spots on his ribcage, didn’t bother him much. It even dulled his instinctive worry about Sans being out of the house and far away from him, but only a little bit. These days it was almost impossible for him not to be worried about Sans, especially when he was away. He wouldn’t have allowed it at all if Alphys wasn’t with him, she’d keep Sans safe.

“I’m uh… sorry about this.” Undyne said. She was smoking a joint too. She’d been reluctant to at first, worried that Sans would get mad about it. And normally Papyrus wouldn’t have smoked in the house, cigarettes or pot, because it was something Sans used to hate but he was stuck here and in pain. When she’d brought out the plastic bag of pot she’d brought, saying that Sans was cool with her giving it to him, he’d been eager to try it. And sadly, Sans wasn’t going to care that they’d smoked it in the house. He probably wouldn’t even say anything about it if Papyrus didn’t apologize for it. Which he was going to do since it was something he probably shouldn’t do.

“About what?” Papyrus asked with a relaxed sigh. He’d worry about apologizing later, for now he’d just relax and enjoy it.

“My magic blocker’s the reason you got hurt.” Undyne’s characteristic stammer and nervous tone were missing as they always were when she smoked pot. “I had one out in the lab because Queen Toriel has me trying to find a way to make them less fragile. When it went missing I just thought I’d misplaced it or somehow ended up burying it under something. If I’d known it had been stolen I could’ve reported it to Alphys properly and she might’ve found it before this happened.”

So, Undyne was going to try to blame herself for this too, figures. “Nah, it ain’t your fault.” Papyrus wasn’t going to let her get away with it either. “Even if ya had known it was stolen and reported it there’s no guarantee that Alphys would’ve gotten it back before all this happened. And considering how messy your lab is, thinking ya misplaced it was reasonable.” There was a good chance she _had_ misplaced it before it had gotten stolen. Pretty much the only things she didn’t lose in her lab were things that were too big to be moved much.

“I still should’ve kept better track of it.” Undyne sighed out a cloud of smoke. “But how’s Sans doing? He seemed kinda… okay when I talked to him earlier. Well, okay for these days anyway.”

Papyrus smiled at the thought of Sans. “He’s amazing, like super amazing. But he’s my baby bro so of course he’s amazing.”

“So, that means he’s doing better now?”

“Yeah, he’s handling this a lot better than I ever would’ve thought. I’m so proud him.” Papyrus was starting to feel almost glad it had happened. The only drawbacks were how much it hurt, the fact that he was bedbound, and how much Sans had been and continued to be worried about him. “He made breakfast all on his own and he cleaned my mattress and he went out with Alphys to the store without much complaint. He even scolded me this morning.”

“Really?” Undyne asked, shocked. “That’s… really good. What did he scold you about?”

“I had to teleport off the bed so he could clean the mattress. It uh…  hurt quite a bit so he didn’t want me to do it again. But I did anyway, after he made the bed. He got mad about it and scolded me so I promised I wouldn’t do it anymore.” Papyrus almost laughed at the memory, his high making it funny. But regardless, it had been amazing to hear an emotion that wasn’t sadness in Sans’ voice. To hear some of the that old ‘do it my way because I’m right’ attitude Sans had used to always have.

“Wow, that’s awesome.” Undyne’s face brightened. “But who would’ve ever thought you’d one day be happy about Sans yelling at you?”

“Yeah, it’s kinda weird to think about but, it’s how it is.” The fact that that was the case was sad but dwelling on that wouldn’t fix it. He wanted the old Sans back more than anything, complete with all the scolding and obsessive cleanliness. That was still a long way away, but this morning had been a start. Maybe one day Sans would if not yell at him at least tell him to clean his room again and mean it. Papyrus could only hope so.

***

“I think that’s everything.” Sans checked the list he’d written earlier that morning of both the medical supplies he needed and general groceries. He’d be in charge of all the shopping until Papyrus was back on his feet so even though it was a bit early for grocery shopping Sans had done so anyway. The less trips he had to make down here the better and Alphys was giving them an advance on their paychecks so he might as well.

“Good.” Alphys nodded as she turned the cart towards the front, somehow only bumping it against the product shelves twice before she had it straight once more. Sans had offered to push the cart since she had a tendency to crash into things with it, but she’d refused, assuring him that she wouldn’t run into anything else. That statement had been almost immediately followed by her running into something else. Sans had let it slide though, not wanting to damage her pride.

The shopkeeper smiled in greeting as Alphys pushed the cart up to the counter. That smile would no doubt be gone once she discovered the stuff that Alphys’ struggles with steering the cart had knocked off the shelves. But she wouldn’t figure it out until long after they’d left.

After paying they bagged everything and started for home once more. Now all they had to do was make it home without any trouble and everything would be okay. Which would be easy, no one would mess with Alphys therefore they wouldn’t mess with Sans either. So, this outing was almost done.

It hadn’t been so bad, right? No one had even confronted him, that was good. And he’d managed to act kind of not weak in front of the shopkeeper, she’d hopefully spread the word that he wasn’t a sniveling coward anymore. Even though he still was one, he was just better at hiding it now.

“I want you to try to leave the house at least once a day,” Alphys said.

Sans almost tripped over himself in surprise. “What? No, I can’t.” This one outing had been bad enough, no way could he force himself to do this every day. And did she expect him to go by himself?

“Up until now you were doing just that. But because I’m going to your place for our training sessions because you need to stay near your brother most of the of time you can’t. But I still want you out of the house at least once a day, even if it’s just for five minutes. Both because I don’t want you holed up in the house all day and because people need to continue to see you sometimes or they might start to think you’re a coward after all.”

It took all of Sans’ willpower not slump in despair, the only thing stopping him was the people watching them as they passed by. “Okay, yeah, you’re right. But what about Pappy, I can’t leave him home alone.”

“You told the shopkeeper that he’s mostly fine. She’ll spread that around and no one will want to mess with bothering to make sure just in case. If anyone else asks about him just be casual about it like you were back there.”

That didn’t make Sans feel any better. What if someone saw through his lies? Someone who had a grudge against Papyrus for whatever reason and decided to take advantage of his current state.

“Also,” Alphys continued as if reading his mind, “most of the time Undyne’s going to come over with me to keep him company while we do what we need to do. During that time, I’ll make sure you get out and about at least a little bit.”

Sans could handle that, he’d be safe with Alphys and Papyrus would be safe Undyne as well as not alone. But that left one more problem. “What about… my visits to Undyne’s place?” he asked, Alphys would know what he meant.

Going to visit the babies without Papyrus would be difficult, not only because of the walk down there but he didn’t want to be alone with them. But he couldn’t just abandon them for however long Papyrus ended up bedbound, which would be several weeks at least. Well, he could but he’d feel bad about it.

“Undyne actually brought this up too,” Alphys said. “Apparently they cry when you two don’t show up when you’re supposed to.” That made Sans feel even worse about the thought of leaving them for so long. “I’m thinking every few days, or however often you two decide, you’ll go down there with her and do whatever you need to do with them. Just leave me out of that stuff, I’d rather not have anything to do with babies and kids.”

Sans almost flinched at the way she said that. Did she hate kids in general or just his? He wouldn’t blame her if it was the latter considering how they’d come into this world, but did she disapprove of him caring about them? She’d never said anything to that effect but he’d never talked to her about them either.

He didn’t even get an opportunity to ask, not that he would have, as that was when they reached the house. He let out a sigh of relief once they safely inside with the door locked and bolted. Being safe at home again was always so nice, how had he never appreciated that feeling before?

“Now go let your brother know we’re back then come back down here to put all this stuff wherever you put things and then it’s time for our training session,” Alphys said. “You can worry about changing Papyrus’ bandages and stuff once me and Undyne leave.”

Couldn’t she let him take a break for the day? He’d done so much today already and he was tired. Would a single day off training be too much to ask for?

“We’re gonna go easy on training today so don’t give me that look,” Alphys said. “You’ve done a lot already and I know you’re probably tired and stressed after everything that happened yesterday so I’m not going to push you too hard, okay?”

“Okay.” Sans nodded, letting out a sigh of relief. He could handle that, just barely but he could.

They placed the grocery bags in the kitchen for now while he grabbed the ones with the medical supplies in them to carry upstairs to Papyrus’ room. “We’re back,” he said as he entered, closing the door behind himself.

Right away he recognized the smell of pot hanging around in the room. Neither Papyrus nor Undyne were smoking anymore but it was obvious from the looks in their eyes and relaxed manner that they had been. Sans didn’t care though and was actually happy to see Papyrus relaxed and not in obvious pain once more.

“Hey baby bro,” Papyrus said, his voice slower than usual. “How’d the trip to the store go?”

“It was… okay.” Sans placed the bags in one of the corners for now. “Nothing bad happened anyway and we made it home.” The only real problem had been his unreasonable fear of people and going outside.

“That’s good. I’m super proud of you.” Papyrus smiled lazily at him. “But uh… sorry ‘bout smoking in the house.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. And you seem to be feeling better so it’s not a problem. You can even do it again later if you want to, it’s not like you can go outside for a while anyway.”

Papyrus blinked at him, surprised, before smiling. “You’re the best bro.”

“Thanks.” Sans did his best to smile back. “I have to go put the groceries and stuff away now though so I’ll be back up later.”

“’Kay, see ya soon.”

Once on the other side of the door, Sans sighed as he deflated. He’d rather sit with Papyrus and do nothing for the rest of the day. But he was almost through everything he needed to do today and they’d be going easy on the training. That shouldn’t be too bad and would hopefully be over soon.


	41. Backyard

“Your backyard is smaller than I’d thought it’d be,” Alphys said with a frown as they stepped out back after putting all the groceries away.

“Yeah, it’s not much,” Sans said with a shrug. They had no reason to live in a house with a big backyard, what would they use it for?

“I guess we’ll just have to be super careful not to destroy anything then.” If anyone wasn’t going to be careful it would be her, destroying things was what she was good at, especially if it was on accident. Sans wasn’t strong enough to do much damage even if he’d wanted to, so he’d be fine with being careful.

Alphys walked forward, leading him to the center of the yard. “All right, you’re gonna summon a Blaster and fire it into the ground. You did it yesterday so I know you can do it, don’t even try to think that you can’t. But because we’re going easy today, that’s all I’m going to require this time. Tomorrow we’ll go back to what we’ve been doing.”

Sans had expected her to tell him to summon a Blaster but that didn’t make him any less anxious about it. Yesterday could’ve been a onetime thing, the circumstances had been special after all. But she wouldn’t let him complain about it so he had no choice but to at least try. If he failed she’d be disappointed but… there was nothing he could do about that. And that was all she was asking him to do. If he could just do it and get it over with fast he could rest and she and Papyrus would be proud of him.

So, he took a deep breath to try to clear his mind as he gathered his magic. He’d done this yesterday, had summoned several in fact, without even thinking about it, so he should be able to do this. And it was just one Blaster, that should be easy, he’d learned to do that when he was a child.

The Blaster took shape above his head, held steady in his mind, and it didn’t fizz or pop out of existence. It stayed there, looking almost intimidating. He’d done it! He’d summoned a Blaster. Even if it was only one he could defend himself again. Could he do two?

He closed his eyes as he pulled on his magic to form another and then another. Soon he had five floating in the air above him, a standard sized wave. He grinned, clenching his fist as he fired them into the ground. The loud blaring noise they made as their beams melted through the snow to bore into the ground beneath was perhaps the most satisfying sound he’d ever heard.

He panted as he the beams died down a few seconds later. He could force them to fire longer but he was already feeling the strain, made worse by how little he’d used his magic lately, so he let his Blasters dissipate too.

“I did it.” He bounced on his feet as he turned to smile proudly at Alphys.

“See, I knew ya could do it.” Alphys was grinning too. “I expected no less. Now, why don’t you go run and tell your brother all about how awesome you did?”

“Okay.” Sans nodded before running back into house. He fast-walked up the stairs and into Papyrus’ room one more. “I did Pappy, I did it,” he said the instant he’d opened the door.

Papyrus smiled at him, the same dopey smile he always had when he was high. “I’m super-duper proud of ya, but what you’d do?”

Sans’ eye flicked to Undyne sitting next to Papyrus, feeling a small rush of embarrassment. Who got excited that they’d used their magic properly? But she knew about how he’d been unable to summon his Blasters so she shouldn’t care. “Alphys asked me to summon a Blaster for training today and I did it. I didn’t mess it up or anything, I even summoned five of them.”

“That’s awesome,” Papyrus said. “I’d go over there to give ya a hug but… yeah, ya know.” He made a shrugging gesture with his hands.

“Wow, good job Sans.” Undyne gave him a fanged smile and a thumbs up.

“Thanks.” Sans smiled back at her before going over the bed to sit next to Papyrus and give him a gentle hug. He wanted to hug him tighter but couldn’t so being gentle would have to do.

“You’re super awesome.” Papyrus gave him a gentle squeeze before releasing him to let him stand back up.

The door opened again and Alphys walked in. “Yo, I know Sans already told you guys but he great today. He even did well at the store earlier.”

Sans probably shouldn’t feel so good about being praised for such simple things, things that weren’t difficult for anyone else to do, but he did. He was worthless most of the time so on the rare occasions when he wasn’t it was all right for him to feel proud about it, right? Everyone else seemed to think that was the case, so maybe.

 

“It’s going to burn if you do that,” Sans said as he turned down the stove top dial.

“That makes it cook faster,” Alphys said. “The hotter it is the faster it cooks.”

They’d hung out in Papyrus’ room until it was time to make lunch. Alphys had of course insisted that they make it together like they used to do. Sans had basically been forced to agree, he didn’t want her to burn any of his other stores of food items.

Sans sighed. “That’s not how it works.” He’d forgotten why he’d stopped cooking with her until now. As competent as she was in most other things, cooking was one of her weak points. But she refused to admit it no matter how many times she burned her kitchen, sometimes her entire house, down or how often Sans corrected her.

“Ya know, I’d forgotten why we’d stopped cooking together,” Alphys said. “But now I remember. You’re so… particular about things. You won’t let me smash anything _or_ turn up the heat to make things cook faster.”

Sans wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Before he’d have been able to come up with a witty quip about her being bad at cooking, probably including how he was the best at it, but now he couldn’t think of anything.

“But I guess you _are_ better at this than me so I’ll let your lack of enthusiastic cooking slide,” Alphys continued. “Just this once though.”

“So, you admit that I’m actually better at something than you?” Why did that make Sans so proud? It wasn’t saying much, Alphys was an awful cook, even Papyrus was better than her.

“Yeah, you’re like the best fucking cook in the damn Underground so of course you’re better than me.”

Sans couldn’t help but deflate at the reminder of how cocky he’d used to be. How could he have ever believed he was the best at anything? “I doubt that.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Have you ever eaten anything made my some of the ‘good’ chefs?” She lifted her hands to make air quotes. “You make better food than the Queen’s personal cook.”

“How would you know?”

“I’m the Captain of the Royal Guard, Queen Toriel has to invite me to dinner sometimes. So, I can say for a fact you’re a better cook than her cook.”

She was either saying that to make him feel good or because she was biased. Hopefully the latter, Sans didn’t want to be lied to even if it was an attempt to make him feel better about himself. Unable to read which it was on her face, Sans turned back to the stove.

They were making quesadillas, something easy that didn’t take long to make. Even with Alphys help he’d rather not bother with making something that would take a lot of effort to prepare. He of course wouldn’t eat until after they’d left which they’d do in about another hour or so.

Despite how odd it had to seem to them, neither Undyne nor Alphys had questioned what his problem was yet. When he’d brought that up they’d accepted it without hesitation. Which wasn’t surprising since they knew he had a problem with eating but what was surprising was how little they seemed to be curious about it, like they honestly didn’t care to know. He appreciated it but still found it strange, especially on Undyne’s part, she normally seemed to want to know everything about everything.

Once they’d made enough for everyone except Sans, he’d make his own later, the put it all on the tray and headed back upstairs. Sans sat on the bed next to Papyrus again and set the standing tray over his lap after Alphys had grabbed her and Undyne’s plates off it.

“You seriously okay with us eating when you’re not?” Undyne asked. She was still sitting on the chair by the bedside, they’d pulled another one in for Alphys and had set up a small TV on a bunch off boxes at the foot of the bed so they could watch anime while they hung out.

“Yeah,” Sans said. “I can’t eat when you guys are here.”

“Yeah, it’s better this way,” Papyrus said. Him eating before Sans was better too since his injuries caused him to move slower. This way when Sans ate he wouldn’t have to worry about slowing his pace to keep up with him to make sure they finished at about the same time. So, they could start playing chess as soon as possible.

“Well, if you’re sure,” Undyne said before pressing play on the remote to resume the anime they’d been watching.

This was nice, hanging out and doing nothing. He’d have to worry about eating and other stuff soon but for now he was content to relax for a bit. And even if anime was a bit weird and often starred humans, at least it was better than anything on TV.

 

Undyne and Alphys ended up staying long enough for them to watch one more episode of whatever anime they were watching before leaving, promising to be back tomorrow at around the same time. Before heading out the door Alphys had made Sans promise once more that he’d eat something once they were gone. He’d done so, doing little to hide his annoyance.

“You gonna eat now?” Papyrus said once Sans reentered his room after letting Undyne and Alphys out.

“I want to do this first.” Sans picked up the bags with medical supplies in them and brought them closer to the bed. “It’s probably been a bit longer than is good so… can I?” If Papyrus insisted he eat first he would but he’d rather do take care of Papyrus first.

Papyrus studied him for a few second before replying. “Ya promise you’ll eat afterward?”

“Yes, I promise.” It was going to be unpleasant like it always was but they’d handle his problem afterward so it would be fine.

“All right, I guess, go ahead.” Papyrus relaxed back against the pillows as Sans moved some so he could lie flat on his back again, an easier position for Sans to work with.

Sans pulled back the blanket, bunching it up at Papyrus’ feet. Right away it was obvious that quite a few of the bandages would need to be changed, the wounds recleaned. So, Sans set to work, being as gentle as he could while also trying to fairly quick to trouble Papyrus as little as possible.

It wasn’t hard though, he knew how to do this. Papyrus had taught him, saying it was important that Sans know this stuff too just in case he needed it one day. Which given the violent nature of the Underground was inevitable.

“You’re really kinda good at this,” Papyrus said after a while.

“Oh uh, thanks, I guess,” Sans replied. “But you’re the one who taught me this stuff.”

“Yeah, you’re still good at it though. But uh… you’re handling all this a lot better than I would’ve thought.”

“Oh… I guess I am.” Sans wouldn’t have thought he’d be able to handle this kind of situation at all, not after how long he’d been dependent on Papyrus for almost everything. “You need me though so…” he shrugged, “I have to take care of you.”

“Thanks, and uh… I’m super happy and proud that you’re starting to do stuff again, even if the circumstances aren’t the best.”


	42. Sleep

“Ya sure ya wanna sleep in the sleeping bag?” Papyrus said. “I know sleeping next me isn’t the best but… I don’t want ya to have to sleep on the floor.”

“It’s fine,” Sans said. “You slept in it in my room and you were okay.”

“I know but… I want you to be comfortable. And uh… ya know I won’t be able to wake ya up if ya have nightmare, right? I can try but… I can’t really get up.”

“It’ll be fine, I promise. Now go to sleep, you need to rest.” Sans flipped the light switch off before moving to crawl into the sleeping bag.

“Well… okay then, goodnight I guess.” Papyrus still didn’t sound sure but at least he was dropping it.

“Goodnight,” Sans said with as much cheeriness as he could force into his voice. Now all he had to do was wait until Papyrus was asleep and then he’d sneak out. Today had been the best day he’d had since he’d been rescued, he wasn’t about to let a nightmare ruin it. He’d go to sleep when he was too tired to dream.

He lay there for a long while, probably longer than necessary given how quickly Papyrus tended to fall asleep, but he had to make sure. “Pappy?” he said in a whisper after a long while. Getting no answer, he extricated himself from the sleeping bag as quietly as he could and tiptoed to the door. He carefully opened it and stepped out, closing it gently behind him.

He let out a breath as he relaxed. Later he’d have to find a way to keep the reason for his extra tiredness a secret but for now he was just glad he’d gotten out of the room without alerting Papyrus to something being off. He was tired all the time these days so it shouldn’t be too hard to pass off the extra sleepiness as stress due to Papyrus’ injuries. Maybe if he could sleep something like every other night the nightmares might stop because he’d always be too tired to dream. It would be difficult but it would be worth it.

He went downstairs and to the kitchen where he started up the coffee pot. He didn’t like coffee but it would make staying awake easier, especially since he was already tired.

While that was brewing he went back to the living room and flipped on all the lights. Unfortunately, even with all the lights on the place was still a little dim. But there was nothing he could do about that so it would have to do. Then he pulled out their box of movies and began sorting through it, looking for something lighthearted that might be interesting enough to keep his attention. The TV networks didn’t broadcast anything at night but even if they did he wouldn’t want to watch any of it, he’d seen it all a thousand time already.

Eventually he found several movies that looked like they might be okay. They had animals on the front, that meant they were lighthearted and happy, right? One of them even had the cat from the blanket Undyne had given him on it, it would at least be interesting to see where the cat came from. Hopefully they’d be enough to keep him entertained the whole night.

 

It took Sans a little while before he realized that the ringing sound was coming from his phone which he’d placed on the armrest next to him. He groaned as he took another sip from his coffee, it was cold and even grosser than it had been before but he didn’t care, before placing it on the coffee table and picking up his phone.

The caller ID read: ALPHYS. It was halfway through the morning, she was probably calling him to wake him up like she had yesterday. He almost answered right away but stopped himself. She needed to think he’d been sleeping so he’d answer after she called for the third or fourth time. So, he put it back down.

He counted the rings each time it stopped and started again. It seemed like it got louder and more annoying each time. But he sat there anyway, staring at the animated movie playing on screen, he’d lost track of what was happening a while ago but it still looked nice, beautiful even. How did the humans make movies like this? The rare monster made animations he’d seen were nowhere close to even half as good, both in terms of art and overall quality.

Eventually, he paused the movie to make sure Alphys wouldn’t here it as he’d turned up the sound several hours ago to help keep himself awake, and answered the phone.

“Good morning Sans,” she said, far too energetic. “You didn’t take forever and day to wake up this time, good job.”

“Hello to you too, I guess.”

“Anyway, I’m just calling to make sure you get up and do stuff, like make breakfast and whatever other things you need to do. I’ll be by later for our training session, we’re not going easy today so be ready.”

“Is Undyne coming again too?” Sans didn’t want to leave Papyrus alone for long. Also, he still needed to discuss with her how they were going to handle his visits with the babies until Papyrus was back on his feet.

“Yeah, she’s coming too. It’s probably not going to be until a bit later in the day though, closer to our usual time. I’ll text or call before we head out though so you’ll be ready for us.”

“All right, see you then I guess.” Even more so than usual Sans wasn’t looking forward to training with her but he’d deal with it when he got there.

“See ya,” Alphys said before ending the call.

Sans sighed as he hung up too. He put his phone in his pocket before forcing himself to his feet. It was time to make breakfast and then wake up Papyrus for it.

He grabbed his coffee off the table and drink the rest of it in one go, grimacing at the taste. Why did cold coffee have to taste so nasty? And why had he let it get cold in the first place? But at least the caffeine and foul taste chased away some more of his sleepiness.

He turned off the TV and DVD player before dragging himself to the kitchen to start breakfast. First, he poured the last cupful of coffee into his cup, the second time he’d done that since he’d started last night. Then he set it to brew another batch. He’d offer some to Papyrus later, though he’d probably decline, Papyrus only drank coffee when he was hung over. Which was the sole reason they even had a coffee pot.

On top of being tired he was also jittery and tense to the point where his hands were shaking, from all the caffeine. An exceedingly unpleasant combination that left him feeling physically ill, making cooking even more difficult. But he did his best to push it through it. It’s not like he had a choice, he had to take care of Papyrus.

It seemed to take forever before everything was done and despite how awful he felt he somehow managed to not mess anything up. He topped off his coffee mug before grabbing the tray, putting breakfast on it, and heading upstairs.

“Wake up Pappy,” he said as he walked into Papyrus’ room. He placed the tray his coffee on the bedside table so he could put a hand on Papyrus’ shoulder and give it a gentle shake. “I made breakfast.”

Papyrus stirred awake with a groan. His eyes fluttered open to fix on Sans. “Hey Sans,” he said with a sleepy smile.

“Good morning.” Sans did his best to smile back. “How are you feeling?”

“Uh… sleepy.” Probably in pain to if Sans had to guess. “How ‘bout you, ya doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Sans lied, hiding it by turning away grab more pillow to prop Papyrus up. Once done with that he unfolded the trays legs to put it over Papyrus’ lap. He then settled down on the chair with his coffee mug. He gripped it tight in his hands to try to still their shaking. He had to pretend he was fine so Papyrus wouldn’t worry about him.

Papyrus frowned at him. “You didn’t make any for yourself?”

Sans hadn’t and wasn’t going to. “I’m not hungry.”

“Sans…”

“Yeah, I know. I just… feel kinda not good right now. I have coffee though, that’s kind of like food, isn’t it?” Not eating wasn’t healthy, but coffee was better than nothing.

“You don’t like coffee.”

“Maybe I changed my mind.” After how much he’d drank over the course of the night Sans was used to the taste by now. He still preferred tea though.

“How much have you had?”

“Uh… I don’t know.” That wasn’t a lie, Sans had lost track of how much he’d had a while ago. “Why?”

“’Cause you’ve clearly had way too much.” Papyrus gave him a sorrow filled look. Great, he was upset again and it was Sans’ fault. “Did you… sleep last night?”

“Why would you ask that? You were there when I went to bed.”

“Don’t avoid the question please.” Why did Papyrus have to be so perceptive?

Sans glanced around the room, trying to find something that would get him out of having to answer. There was nothing. He had to either lie or tell the truth. “I uh… couldn’t sleep so I made some coffee to help me wake up.” Bending it worked too.

Papyrus gave him a look he couldn’t read. “Did you try?”

Sans looked away, taking a drink from coffee. As appealing the thought of lying was, Papyrus would be able to tell, he always did, and then he’d be upset and disappointed in Sans for lying. So, he had no choice. It was his own fault though, he should’ve done better to hide it.

“No, I didn’t.” He sighed, keeping his eyes averted so he wouldn’t have to see Papyrus’ face. “And before you say anything, I know that’s not good and I shouldn’t do it but…” His eyes welled with tears. “… I had such a good day yesterday. I did things and… I was happy for once and so were you. I didn’t want to ruin it with a stupid nightmare. So… I figured if I only go to sleep when I’m super tired I won’t have nightmares anymore because I’ll be too tired to dream. It worked the other night so… why wouldn’t it work now?”

Papyrus sighed and Sans looked back at him. “I’m sorry. I know the nightmares are… rough but ya need to sleep, ya can’t do that. And uh… that much coffee can’t be good either.”

“I know.” Sans didn’t even bother to wipe at his tears as he took another drink anyway. “But… the nightmares always wake me up and its hard to fall asleep afterward a lot of time so I’m already missing sleep. And I’m tired all the time anyway so… it wouldn’t really make _that_ much of a difference, would it? And I won’t drink so much coffee next time, I promise.”

“That’s not… gonna work, ya know that. Ya need sleep and yeah the nightmares are bad for that but… getting some sleep is better than none,” Papyrus said. “But uh… after breakfast why don’t ya take a nap with me? We can talk more about this when you’re feeling better.”

“I can’t.” Even if Sans had wanted to take a nap, which he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to. “I’ve had too much coffee.” And it was giving him a headache on top of jitters and inability to relax fully.

“At least lie down for a bit then. And… make yourself some breakfast first, ya need to eat. And stop drinking coffee, it’s only making ya feel worse.”

Sans froze as he was lifting the mug to his mouth again. He lowered it to place on the bedside table instead. “I feel kinda sick though. Can I… eat later please?” The thought of food wouldn’t be appealing even if he’d didn’t have that eating problem. “I promise I will just… not right now.”

Papyrus sighed. “All right, that’s fine.”

“Thank you,” Sans said, thankful for that small mercy at least. He drew his legs up to hug them to his chest. “I’m sorry about… making you worried again. I did so good yesterday but now I’m just…” He trailed off with a shrug, turning his face away to finally wipe at his tears. Why was he even crying? He was just tired and felt a little sick, he should be able to handle that even if he was weak and pathetic.

“It’s okay Sans, really, you’re doing great. Not every day’s gonna be perfect.”

“I’m… going to go take a shower while you eat.” He stood up. “Maybe it’ll make me feel better.” Or at least make him feel less tired and sick, which was technically better.

“’Kay, and afterward ya can take a nap.”

“Maybe.” Sans didn’t want to sleep and couldn’t but lying down and pretending to sounded nice, it’s not like he’d be good for much else today.


	43. Caffeine

“You okay?” Papyrus asked.

“No,” Sans replied as he rolled over again. “I can’t… relax and… I’m so tired.” He’d been lying next to Papyrus for a while now, at least half an hour maybe more, tossing and turning almost the whole time. “I hate this.”

“I know, but it’ll wear off in a few hours, ya just gotta hang in there.”

Why couldn’t it wear off now? Sans just wanted to sleep, to not think or feel anything for a little while. Though he’d probably have a nightmare which would only make him feel worse. So, there was nothing he could do to alleviate his discomfort.

Blinking back tears, he rolled himself off the bed. His tossing and turning was no doubt only make Papyrus uncomfortable. And maybe if he did something he’d be able to work through his caffeine fueled energy faster and be too tired to have a nightmare afterward. He straightened the blanket around Papyrus before turning to face the rest of the room.

He still felt a little sick so cooking and then eating wasn’t an option but he needed to do something. And if that something was useful he’d be not completely worthless three days in a row. Afterward he could maybe eat something and then take a nap.

He left to get a trash bag and some basic cleaning supplies. He felt too awful to do anything complex like fixing Papyrus’ coat, but cleaning up the mess in his room would take almost no mental energy and it needed to be done anyway, the sooner the better.

“Ah, bro ya don’t gotta do that right now,” Papyrus said upon his return. “You should wait ‘till you’re feeling better.”

“I have to do something though, I can’t hold still and it needs to be done eventually.” Sans turned away to start cleaning. He’d make the room clean for Papyrus since he was going to be stuck in it for a while. Kind of for himself too since he’d be spending a lot of time here too, but mostly for Papyrus.

“There’s probably nothing I can do to convince ya to rest, is there?” Papyrus said.

“Nope, sorry. I’ll rest later, I can’t right now.” And this needed to be done anyway.

“Just… please don’t push yourself too hard, ‘kay?”

“I’ll try not to.” Sans didn’t care though. By the time he went to sleep he’d be too tired to have a nightmare. That would make all this worth it, right? Maybe.

 

The chess pieces seemed to almost swim in Sans’ vision. He was so tired it was hard to focus on the game especially with his unwanted arousal from eating. He’d finally come down from his caffeine high shortly after he’d decided to start making lunch. He’d crashed _hard_ and had barely managed to not mess anything up.

“You okay?” Papyrus asked.

Sans nodded, humming his acknowledgment as he took his turn. He’d take a nap as soon as his arousal was gone. Which would hopefully be soon, this was their second game. And he was so tired he wouldn’t dream, right? Hopefully.

Papyrus, no doubt aware of his exhaustion, lapsed into silence. He looked worried and sad. It was all Sans’ fault for being so weak and pathetic.

As they were setting up for the third match he realized his arousal had faded, his pussy dispelled. “It’s gone, thank you,” he said with a sigh of relief, grateful as always for Papyrus’ help.

Papyrus relaxed as well. “Good, why don’t ya take a nap with me now?” He patted the spot on the mattress next to him, there was already a pillow laid for Sans.

Sans nodded as he started putting the pieces away. He placed it back in the nightstand’s drawer, the tray on top, before crawling up on the bed next to Papyrus. “Thanks Pappy,” he mumbled before drifting off to sleep.

***

Papyrus sighed as he looked down at Sans and adjusted the blanket to cover him better. Papyrus was still propped in a sitting position, Sans had clearly been too tired to help him lay back down, but it didn’t matter a whole lot. The stronger pain reliever Sans had gotten at the store yesterday was working wonders.

He looked around the room again. It was a bit cleaner now, more so than it what had been in what felt like years. A few more cleaning sessions and it would be done.

As nice as it was to see Sans cleaning again, even if it was mostly just as a distraction, it would’ve been better if he hadn’t looked so exhausted and ill doing it. He’d been shaking and jittery the whole time, the look on his face making it clear how exhausted and ill he felt. But no matter what Papyrus had said and no matter how he’d said it, Sans had kept going. In a way that was a good thing, his stubbornness was returning. If only he could apply it to things that would be good for him, like _not_ staying up all night drinking coffee and then pushing himself when he should be at least trying to rest.

Papyrus jolted out of his thoughts as Sans’ phone, still in his pocket, went off. Moving as fast as his injuries would allow while still being gentle, he reached into Sans’ pocket to pull it out. He didn’t need to check the caller ID to know it was Alphys, she was the only person who’d be calling Sans.

“Hey Alphys,” he said after accepting the call. He spoked quietly despite how unlikely it was that Sans would be waking up any time soon.

“Papyrus?” Alphys was just as loud as usual.

“Yeah, Sans is asleep.”

“He shouldn’t be, it’s the middle of the day.” She sounded a little peeved.

“Yeah, but he didn’t sleep last night, like at all.”

“Really? Why the fuck not?”

“He uh didn’t wanna have a nightmare and decided to wait to go to sleep until he was too tired to dream.” Which made sense and would probably work but it wasn’t a good solution. Sleep deprivation was not only physically unhealthy but would also worsen his depression, the exact opposite of what they were trying to accomplish. All the caffeine and corresponding crash had only made it worse.

“Goddamnit, slap him for me when he wakes up and tell him to stop being stupid.”

Papyrus would do neither of those things. Alphys’ rough ways seemed to work for Sans sometimes, which was great, Sans getting better was all that mattered, but Papyrus would never emulate them. Being rough with Sans, even with just words, was something he could never do.

“And don’t let him sleep for too long,” Alphys continued. “Like no more than two or three hours. He still needs to be super tired later when it’s bedtime.”

“I’d rather not wake him,” Papyrus said. “He needs sleep.”

“Yeah, I know. But he also needs to be tired tonight so he’s less likely to try to stay up again. Because he probably will if his plan to not have nightmares works.”

That was possible and if Sans did try to stay up again there wasn’t much Papyrus would be able to do about it. But… “He’ll go to bed when I ask him to.” Sans had been good about listening to him lately so he'd probably do so in this instance too.

“He _might_ listen to you,” Alphys said. “He tricked you into thinking he was going to sleep last night, didn’t he?” That was undeniably true. “He might do it again.” That was also possible but…

“Nah, we’ve talked about it and we’ll probably talk about it more later. He’ll go to bed when I tell him to.” Papyrus trusted Sans. He knew his idea wasn’t healthy, if he’d thought it was a good idea he wouldn’t have tried so hard to hide it. But now that it was out in the open he wouldn’t try it again, not if Papyrus specifically asked him not to.

“Well… all right if you’re _sure_ about that, I guess you can let him sleep for however long he ends up sleeping for.” Alphys tone was begrudging, like she was letting him do something she knew she shouldn’t. “But if that’s the case, have him call me when he wakes up. I’ll go over for our training session and stuff.”

“Ya sure training with him is a good idea today?” Probably not, poor Sans was already exhausted without that.

“I don’t know yet. I’ll see when I get there. But I have some business down at Snowdin I need to take care of and I want him with me when I do it. He needs to get out of the house some anyway.”

Papyrus didn’t like the sound of that. When Alphys said ‘business’ she was no doubt referring to Royal Guard stuff which had potential to become dangerous. “What kind of business?”

“Looking for a lead on where Burgerpants and his gang are hiding. I want Sans with me mostly so people will see him. He’ll be perfectly safe I promise, I’ll be there and two of my best Guards will be with me.”

If Sans wasn’t so exhausted and sleep deprived Papyrus would’ve allowed it to happen as long as Sans was okay with it, Alphys meant it when she said she’d keep him safe. But that kind of stress after a night of no sleep wouldn’t be good for him. “No, Sans is…” he began before she cut him off.

“Don’t start that shit. He needs to be seen as much as possible, especially early. And if people see him on official business with me they’ll think he’s dangerous again.”

“Can’t it wait ‘til tomorrow though? When Sans _isn’t_ sleep deprived.” Bedbound or not, Papyrus wasn’t going to let her walk all over him this time. He may not always know what was best for Sans but in this instance, he did. Putting Sans through that much stress after he’d stayed up all night, drinking loads of coffee no less, would be too much for him. Even if he’d done it to himself he still needed some time to rest and recover.

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds before Alphys answered. “Fine, we’ll do it tomorrow. But still have him call me when he wakes up, I want to talk to him.”

“’Kay.”

“See you later then,” Alphys said before the line went dead.

Papyrus hung up too. Wincing, he reached over Sans to put the phone on the nightstand, the risk of disturbing Sans by putting it back in his pocket wasn’t worth it. He sighed as he looked down at Sans again. Was it possible for someone to look exhausted even when they were sleeping? Because Sans did.

Papyrus clenched his hand into a fist. He needed to get back on his feet as soon as possible. He couldn’t protect Sans when he could barely move like this. His sole condolence was that Sans was starting to become able to protect himself again, that by itself was worth all the pain Papyrus had gone through. Alphys would protect him too, no one would dare mess with her and she wasn’t Captain of the Guard for no reason. But Papyrus would feel a lot better when he could protect Sans again himself.

And almost just as importantly, get vengeance on Burgerpants and his gang for even _daring_ to think about hurting Sans. As soon as he was able to walk and fight again hunting them down would be his first priority. And they were going to pay dearly for their crimes.


	44. Call

Sans woke feeling warm and comfortable. He didn’t move, he was too tired and was there any real reason to get up right now anyway? But why was the light on? How was he supposed to sleep with it on? Someone should turn it off.

“Sans?” Papyrus’ voice came from next to him, speaking in a whisper. “You awake?”

Sans groaned, still not opening his eyes. “No.” If he lay here long enough he’d eventually go back to sleep even with the light still on.

“’Kay, but when ya wake up it’s past time for dinner and Alphys wants ya to call her.”

If it was past time for dinner wasn’t it also past time for Alphys to come over for their training session? Why hadn’t she woken him up for it? Had Papyrus convinced her not to? How long had he even been asleep for? Had to have been for a while, right? He couldn’t be sure but he did know one thing.

“It worked,” he said. “I didn’t have a nightmare.” This was the longest he’d ever gone without having a nightmare, since he’d been rescued anyway. It was nice especially with everything else he’d accomplished.

“I know,” Papyrus said. “But uh don’t… stay up all night like that again.”

Sans’ eyes opened as he rolled over to look at Papyrus, lying next to him. “But… it worked.” Not having nightmares was worth a little exhaustion, right?

Papyrus frowned. “It’s not healthy, so please don’t do it.”

Sans groaned. It wasn’t healthy but nightmares weren’t either. He’d deal with it later though. “You said Alphys wants me to call her?”

“Yeah, she called while you sleeping and said to tell you to call her when ya woke up.”

Talking to Alphys wasn’t going to be pleasant. She was no doubt mad at him for staying up all night and then sleeping in the middle of the day and would probably scold him for it. And if he was going to call her, he probably should get out of bed too.

He groaned at the thought. “I don’t wanna get up.” He sounded pitiful and pathetic even to himself. He should care more about that but it was hard, not least of all because he _was_ pitiful and pathetic a lot of the time, now being one of those times.

Papyrus sighed. “I know, but now that you’re awake ya probably should.” And he needed to too, he was the only one who could cook and it was apparently past supper time.

With another tired groan Sans rolled off the bed, shivering in the cold air and already missing the warm blanket. “How are you feeling by the way?” It his responsibility to take care of Papyrus and do anything that needed to be done. He would focus on that and shove his own misery to the side for now, Papyrus was more important anyway.

Papyrus shrugged. “Other than the whole bedbound thing okay, I guess.”

“You need me to get you anything?”

“Food would be nice.” Papyrus smiled almost sheepishly. How long had he been waiting for Sans to wake up to make supper?

“Yeah.” Sans let out a resigned sigh. “I’ll start supper and call Alphys while I’m cooking.”

“See ya in a bit then.”

Sans grabbed his cellphone off the nightstand and left, dragging his feet. With how tired he’d been the past few months he should be used to it by now but he wasn’t. He’d still prefer to lie around and do nothing but that wasn’t an option. At least he didn’t have to train today, that would’ve been hell.

Judging by the lack of light coming through the living room window, it was quite late. Way past supper time and approaching proper bedtime. Papyrus should’ve woken him up earlier. He’d been the one who’d chosen to stay up all night after all, he’d have deserved it.

As he started preparing everything he’d need to cook he called Alphys. She picked up on the penultimate ring.

“Good, you’re finally awake.” At least she didn’t sound mad, just a little annoyed, which was only marginally better.

Sans had to hold back a groan. She’d been so happy with him yesterday now she was disappointed. “Sorry.”

“Don’t ever fucking do that shit again. You need sleep, you’re never going to get any better if you’re staying up all night like a moron.”

“It… worked though, I didn’t have a nightmare.”

“Doesn’t matter, missing so much sleep is only going to make you more tired and more depressed. You’re trying to get better, remember?”

“Maybe I’ll get used to it after a while.” There were people who survived just fine with relatively a small amount of sleep, they were super rare but they did exist. If Sans tried hard enough maybe he’d be able to function on low amounts of sleep too. It would be worth a try, wouldn’t it?

Alphys sighed, her annoyance and borderline anger obvious even in such a small sound. “No, you won’t. So, _don’t_ do it again unless you want me to go over there and force you to sleep.”

Sans held back another groan. “Okay, I guess.” He was done talking about this, especially with her. “Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Mostly that but also tomorrow you’re going to come with me and a couple of my Guards and we’re gonna search for a lead on where Burgerpants and his gang are hiding. The dogs aren’t finding anything but I might be able to intimidate some more info out of the people down there.”

“Okay.” Leaving the house wouldn’t be pleasant but he wanted to be there when they found Burgerpants and Nicecream. He’d get revenge on them for hurting Papyrus. Also, if people saw him on official business with Alphys any doubt that he was ‘back to normal’ would at least weaken if not disappear altogether.

“I uh… didn’t expect you to agree to it that easily.” Alphys sounded pleasantly surprised. “But yeah, be ready for that. Also, Undyne told me to tell you that you need to visit the babies soon. Apparently, they’re _very_ upset with your absence.”

Sans did groan this time. He really was a horrible parent, wasn’t he? “Okay, I’ll uh… go tomorrow after I do that thing with you.” Doing two things in one day would be difficult but it had been three days since he’d seen the babies, he needed to visit them at least for a little bit. And while he was down there he could work out a regular visitation schedule with Undyne. Not every day, that would be too much without Papyrus there, every three days would probably be okay though.

“Good, see you tomorrow then. So, don’t stay all night again or I’ll have to slap you for being stupid.”

Sans sighed as she hung up. He pocketed his phone and put all his attention towards making supper. Tomorrow was going to suck but he’d deal with it then. For now, he’d focus on getting through the rest of today.

 

“Ya gonna sleep on my bed tonight?” Papyrus asked. “I’d prefer if ya did, ya can put as much room between us as ya want.”

Sans sighed. They’d finished supper a little while ago and had had their chess games like usual and were now watching a movie on the little TV set up at the foot of bed. This topic had been bound to come up sooner or later, especially since it was past their usual bedtime. “I uh… really don’t want to sleep.”

Papyrus frowned down at him. “Sans, ya can’t do that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sans sighed. “I need to sleep and… I will.” It’s not like he could stay up all night again with how upset and worried that would make Papyrus. “I just… wish I didn’t have to have nightmares all the time. They’re really awful and I hate them.”

“I know and… I’m sorry ya gotta deal with them. I wish I knew of a way to make them stop.” Was that even possible? Probably not, they’d either stop on their own one day in the far distant future or he’d be haunted by them for the rest of his life.

“Can we… finish watching this before we go bed?” Sans pointed to the TV. He was maybe a little invested in the movie they were watching, enough that he wanted to see how it ended. And he’d woken up from his nap a little more than an hour ago so he shouldn’t be ready to go back to sleep yet even if he was still tired. “It’s okay if you want to go sleep right now though.”

“Nah, we can finish this, staying up a little bit isn’t gonna hurt us.”

The movie, like every other human movie Sans had ever seen and unlike almost every monster movie he’d seen, turned out to have a happy ending. Humans were apparently good at that type of thing, now if only real life was like that too.

As the end credits started to roll down the screen, Sans slid off the bed to turn it off and place the DVD back in its case before lifting the TV to place in the corner. Leaving it stacked on the boxes overnight was asking for trouble. He then helped Papyrus lay back down properly, making sure he was comfortable.

“I think I’ll sleep in your bed tonight, if that’s okay,” Sans said. He was going to have a nightmare and he wanted Papyrus to wake him from it. “But uh… under my own blanket so there’s like… a sort of barrier between us to maybe lessen the uh possibility of… what happened last time happening again.” It probably wouldn’t be the best but maybe it would help, it should at least prevent direct physical contact.

If it didn’t work he’d go back to the sleeping bag or probably his own room and just deal with the nightmares by himself again. He should probably do that anyway, Papyrus didn’t need to be woken up in the middle of night by his stupid nightmares, but Papyrus would object to that idea. And even though it was a little selfish Sans far preferred sleeping in the same room as Papyrus, he could stop the nightmares before they got too bad or failing that comfort him afterward.

“That’s actually really smart,” Papyrus said.

Sans nodded his thanks before leaving to get his pink cat blanket. Now that they were getting more gold they could afford to get a proper blanket. But the closest store that sold that kind of stuff was in Waterfall, next to one of the rivers too. Meaning it would have to wait until Papyrus was better.

As he reentered Papyrus’ room he flipped the light off and closed the door. He then made his way over to the bed and crawled up on it after adjusting Papyrus’ blanket so he wouldn’t lie on it.

“If uh…” he said as he curled up underneath his blanket. “…I start uh… invading your personal space again like I did last time feel free to… push me off.” Even off the bed would be okay.

“I’m not gonna do that,” Papyrus said. “I’ll just wake ya up… and stop touching ya after that.”

Sans wouldn’t be able to convince him to do otherwise so he just nodded. “Goodnight then.”

“’Night.”

 

Despite how tired he still was, Sans ended up having trouble falling asleep. He dreaded the resumption of the nightmares. Not having them had been _so_ nice even with the added exhaustion of a sleepless night and a caffeine crash. But he’d survived with them for months and would most likely have them for a long time, if not the rest of his life. Enduring them was his only option.

He wasn’t going to toss and turn, that would disturb Papyrus. He was going to lie here with his eyes closed until he fell asleep, no matter how long it took. If he ended up lying here all night without ever falling asleep would be fine too. He’d have at least tried to sleep so no one would be disappointed in him. Though he’d be exhausted tomorrow, making going out with Alphys and visiting the babies more difficult. Whatever though, he could handle that if he had to.


	45. Not Fair

_The gentle burbling of a river came from somewhere to the right, a constant sound that never went away. Sans, lying on his back on the mattress, didn’t look towards it. His eyes were glued to the marks on the wall, counting them over and over again as he rubbed a hand over the large swell of his pregnant belly._

_Each count came up with a different number, the marks seeming to shift and change even as he looked at them, but he kept counting anyway. The only other thing he could do was sleep and would probably end up doing so eventually. But for now, he counted the marks and caressed his egg filled belly, waiting for something important._

_“Good morning little one.”_

_The cheery voice of Sans’ captor drew his gaze away from the wall to look towards the river instead. He stood with some difficultly due to the weight of the eggs inside him. It was going to ask him to come over so he might as well just go now, it would at least give him something to do. The bells on his door rang loudly as he pushed it open and again when he let it swing shut behind him once he was through it._

_“Good morning,” he mumbled as he settled down in front of the tentacle monster. Being obedient and pleasing it was a good thing._

_Its tentacles moved to wrap around him, petting him and caressing his belly. He relaxed in their grip, he could let himself enjoy this, it didn’t matter. The thing he was waiting for would happen and then… he didn’t know._

_“You excited to be a mommy?” it asked._

_“Yes.” That’s what Sans was waiting for, right? Or least something related to that. So, he was excited, or as excited as he was capable of being, wasn’t he?_

_As if triggered by the topic, a sudden pain rolled Sans’ belly. He gasped as he curled around it. The tentacles wrapped around him froze until it passed._

_“Is it time?” the tentacle monster asked._

_Sans opened his mouth to say ‘yes’ but cut off another pain hit. He nodded instead, letting out a breath as the pain faded._

_“Ooh, very good.” It adjusted its hold on him, letting him lean back as it spread his legs for him. “You should summon your cunt for this.”_

_Sans did so, flinching as his water broke. It was almost time, right? The important thing he’d been waiting for was going to happen soon, right? But if he’d been waiting for it for what seemed like a_ long _time why was he suddenly dreading it?_

_He groaned, putting his hand back to his belly as another contraction hit, cutting off his thoughts. His body was almost automatically pushing, the feel of the egg going down his magic slick and gelatinous. Soon it popped out of him with another big push, glistening purple and wet from the magic in his womb._

_“_ Very _good,” his captor said as if talking to a small child._

_“I’m… a good pet,” was Sans’ automatic response. It shouldn’t be, right? But… pleasing it was good and that always pleased it._

_It didn’t matter though as he started pushing again when the next contraction hit. That one rolled out of him too, its shell undulating as the baby inside worked at breaking free. The ones still inside Sans were doing the same._

_He didn’t have much time to dwell on it though as another contraction hit and he was pushing again. By the time that egg was sliding out of him the first egg burst open, releasing the small octopus-like baby._

_“How cute,” his captor said, petting a gentle tentacle over its head._

_“Mama.” The baby’s voice was high pitched and cute as it crawled over to wrap a tentacle around his ankle. “Mama,” it said again, ignoring his flinch at the word._

_“Mama.” Another similar voice joined it as the next egg hatched. That one grabbed onto his other ankle as if they were trying to restrain him._

_Sans jerked, trying to pull his legs free but couldn’t, he was trapped. But another contraction had him pushing another egg down. Almost as soon as it was out it hatched too along with the third one. “Mama,” they said in almost perfect unison as they latched onto his legs right above his ankles._

_There was a larger than normal movement in his belly, prompting him to look down at it. One of the babies had hatched in there and was now squirming in what little space it had, causing the eggs to slide around some. “Mama.” Its voice was muffled by his ecto-flesh but still comprehensible._

_Tears filled his eyes as he opened his mouth to try to beg for help or mercy but nothing more than a distressed whine came out. He choked on a sob as another contraction forced its way through him. This egg didn’t even wait to be fully born before it hatched, freeing itself within the walls of his magic. It wriggled inside him, slimy and gross._

_He whimpered and started pushing again, counteracting the baby’s attempt to crawl back up. It slid out with a squeaky “Mama”. It then crawled up onto his pelvis to sit just below the swell of his belly. Was it trying to hold him down too? Probably._

_He whimpered, trying in vain to thrash free himself of the babies’ and his captor’s holds. Another contraction hit and he was forced to push again even as there were more big movements in his womb as more eggs hatched inside, their muffled voices joining the unsynchronized chorus of ‘Mama’._

_“No, no, no,” he begged in a whimper, tears pouring down his face. “_ Please _stop, please.” He was ignored as the egg slid out him, hatching almost right away it moved to restrain him too, saying “Mama”._

***

Papyrus drifted awake to the sounds of soft whimpering. A sound he was unfortunately familiar with. So, he forced himself to wake up fully and turned his head. Sans lay beside him, his blanket only half covering him as he squirmed, his tear streaked face contorted with pain and misery.

“No more, please stop.” His voice was quiet as it always when he sleep-talked, making it a miracle almost every time it woke Papyrus. “Let go, please let go.”

Papyrus reached over and shook his shoulder, gentle but hard enough to jostle him a little. “Wake up Sans,” he said, his voice loud enough to cut through the silence and Sans’ soft whimpering. “Ya gotta wake up, it’s just a dream.”

Sans jerked as his eyes snapped open. Papyrus instantly withdrew his hand in case Sans didn’t want to be touched right now.

“Pappy?” Sans whimpered as he curled in on himself. His hands went to the empty space in his middle as if checking for something, a motion he did often upon waking up from a nightmare.

“Yeah, I’m right here, you’re okay.” Papyrus’ hand itched to reach out and touch Sans, to pull him close and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but he couldn’t.

“It’s… it’s not fair.” Visibly trembling, Sans dragged his blanket back up to huddle underneath it. “Why can’t I just… _not_ have nightmares? I lived through all that stupid shit already, why does my mind wanna recreate it so much? It’s not fair.”

It wasn’t fair, nothing about what had happened to him and was happening to him was fair. There was no way for Papyrus to fix or undo any of it though. “I know, I’m sorry. I wish I could help.” he said despite how little good it would do. “But uh… if you’re okay with talking about it, can I… ask what happened in your nightmare?” Papyrus had never asked that before, normally from what Sans said in his sleep it was obvious what he’d been dreaming about, this time it wasn’t.

Sans nodded, wiping at his tears with the back of his hand. “Yeah, I uh don’t mind talking about it, I think. It was… different this time, I’ve never dreamt about… that before. But uh… you know how I’m always… pregnant in my dreams except when I’m dreaming about when it… you know… This time I dreamed about the… eggs hatching. It felt real, like… I actually felt the labor pains and the eggs and… everything. It was… horrible, just like it was in real life, but worse because… as soon as they hatched they all started saying ‘Mama’… like they do when we visit them. And uh… they were small but they… held me down, restrained me and… and it was awful.”

Papyrus couldn’t even imagine how horrible having a dream like that must’ve been. He reached out his hand again, thinking to touch Sans and offer some comfort, but stopped himself just in time. He could hurt Sans if he touched him without permission again. “Sans, is it okay if I…”

Sans flinched, his face falling even further. “Don’t _fucking_ do that.” He sounded almost angry now on top of his despair. “I _hate_ it.”

Papyrus recoiled. Had he accidentally hurt Sans again despite his care not to? What had he done though? “Hate what?”

“When you ask if it’s okay to hug me. I _hate_ it. Am I really so fucking broken and delicate that you’re literally _afraid_ to fucking touch me?”

The hurt in Sans’ voice and on his face broke Papyrus’ heart, especially since the answer was ‘yes’, he _was_ afraid to touch Sans sometimes, especially when he was upset. He’d _hurt_ Sans that other night, he couldn’t bear the thought of possibly doing so again. “I… don’t wanna hurt ya though.”

“I know.” Sans’ anger seemed to fade as he rolled his head into the pillow. It did little to hide the fresh tears welling in his eyes.

Ignoring the stiffness and pain from moving so much, Papyrus scooched a little closer to put an arm around Sans’ huddled form after another second of hesitation. “I’m sorry.” He’d seen that Sans wasn’t happy about his asking for permission to touch him but hadn’t thought it bothered him that much.

Sans froze for a second or two before moving to cuddle up to his side. He was gentle, mindful of Papyrus’ injuries even through his own emotional hurt and need for comfort.

“I’m so sorry,” Papyrus said again. “I just… don’t wanna hurt ya.” But he’d done so anyway, again.

“I know.” Sans let out a heavy sigh. “I just don’t like that you’re afraid to touch me. It reminds me of how broken I am.”

Papyrus sighed. “I didn’t mean to make ya feel that way. If ya want I’ll stop.” Though how would he know when Sans didn’t want to be held?

“I’d like that.” Sans nodded, sniffling. “Just… don’t hold me when I’m… you know…” his voice lowered to a barely audible whisper as he hid his face against Papyrus’ chest, “… aroused.”

“Yeah, okay, I can do that.” Papyrus would just have to be vigilant of Sans’ mood and what he was upset about. “But uh… can I ask after nightmares anyway, ya know, just in case?” That’s how things had gone wrong last time and things probably had the highest chance of going wrong that way again.

“Yeah, that’s… we can do that. Thanks.”


	46. Search

“You sleep last night?” Alphys said as soon as Sans answered the phone when she called him to wake him. Apparently, this was a thing she was going to be doing now. Probably for the best since Papyrus wasn’t waking up as early as he had before but still annoying, especially when she was calling so early in the morning, earlier than she had the previous days.

“Yeah, I slept.” Sans spoke quietly to make sure he didn’t wake Papyrus. “But why are you calling so early?” How had he ever been a morning person, waking up at the crack of dawn like a psycho?

“Because I’m going be over at your place in like an hour. We’re gonna try to ferret out Burgerpants’ hiding spot today, remember? So, get up, eat breakfast and do whatever else it is you need to do.”

“An hour’s not enough time.” He needed to make breakfast, eat it, and then do their chess routine. Technically possible to do in an hour if he rushed but pushing it. Alphys coming over while he was still aroused would be _awful_ especially if she found out about it somehow.

“Why not?” she asked, a frown almost audible in her voice.

“It’s just not, give me two hours please.” Still less time than he’d like but a lot more reasonable than a single hour.

There was silence for a few seconds before she replied. “Fine, we’ll be over in two hours so be ready to go as soon we get there.” Then she hung up.

Sans sighed as he pocketed his phone. He wasn’t looking forward to today and would rather just go back to bed. But he couldn’t. He’d already said he would go with Alphys to search for Burgerpants and Nicecream’s gang, backing out now would only lead to Alphys being disappointed in him, probably angry too. And getting vengeance on those two was important, he needed to be there for it.

So, with a tired groan, he slipped off the bed. He’d worry about that more after breakfast.

 

“Ya know I haven’t been letting ya win anymore, right?” Papyrus said as they set up for their second chess match. Sans had won the first one, though it had been close. Yesterday Papyrus had won about half of the matches they’d played, all of them had been close.

“But you’re still going easy on me,” Sans said. Papyrus had to be, he was good at chess, Sans wasn’t. As much as he’d grown to enjoy the game and was improving as a result, Papyrus still had to be better, he was smarter after all.

“Nope, I’m not.” Papyrus took the first move, Sans had gone first last time. He didn’t look like he was lying so maybe he wasn’t. That would mean Sans was at least as good at chess as him. Which maybe wasn’t saying much but felt nice anyway.

“Oh… thanks,” Sans said, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

‘ _Me and Undyne are on our way. Be ready to leave when we get there._ ’

Sans sighed as he looked down at the text message from Alphys. “Alphys and Undyne are on their way,” he said to Papyrus. “We’re going to try to find a lead on Burgerpants’ hiding spot today.” Hopefully they would find one and then find Burgerpants. The sooner he and his gang were taken care of the better.

Papyrus growled. “Fuck those guys.”

“Yeah, they’ll pay.” Sans nodded. Papyrus’ reason for wanting vengeance was probably slightly different to Sans’ own, but it didn’t matter.

“Just be careful, ‘kay?” Papyrus said. “Don’t try to take on anything ya don’t think you handle.”

“I’ll be careful.” And he’d be with Alphys and however many Guards she’d brought with her. So, everything was going to be fine, there was no need to be nervous even though he still was. “I’m going to go get ready.”

Sans slipped off the bedside chair. They’d finished playing chess a little while ago and he’d set up the TV again so they could watch another movie. It hadn’t even been playing for five minutes yet so at least Sans wasn’t abandoning it in the middle. He’d watch it some other time.

Not long after he’d finished buckling on his sword and armor the doorbell rang. He took a deep breath as he headed down the stairs to answer it. There’d be no delaying the inevitable and the sooner they got done the better.

“Good, you’re already ready to go,” Alphys said as soon as the door was open.

“Good morning to you too,” Sans said with a sigh.

“Hi Sans,” Undyne said. “You… doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m… okay.” Things could be worse and had been worse not that long ago. “Thanks a ton for keeping Papyrus company while I’m not here.” Leaving unspoken the part where she ensured his safety with her presence. How much was she sacrificing to do this for them? Even if Papyrus was one of her few friends she still had to be missing work to come down here and visit him almost every day like this.

“Oh.” Undyne startled, her eyes darting to the side. “It’s… not a big deal. It uh… gives me an excuse to get high and watch anime with someone. He used to come over to the lab a lot to do the same and he’s been coming over when you’re training with Alphys.” Even so, she didn’t have come over so often and it was nice that she was.

“Ya know Sans,” Alphys said, “you’ve become one of the most polite people I know.”

“Is that… a bad thing?” Sans hadn’t been like that before, in fact he’d been the opposite of polite most of the time, not caring about anyone but himself. These days he was a lot more appreciative of things people did for him and Papyrus, especially since he no longer believed he deserved such things as a right.

“Nah,” Alphys made a dismissive gesture with her hand. “It’s just interesting, not a lot people are like that. But let’s go, we got stuff to do.” She waved for him to follow her, already heading out the door. “See ya later Undyne.”

Sans hesitated for a second before following, he hadn’t had a chance to tell Papyrus he was leaving. It didn’t matter though, or least it shouldn’t, Undyne would tell him. But it still didn’t feel right.

Outside, two more Guards were waiting for them. They towered over Sans and Alphys as all four of them fell in step with each other, Alphys leading the way, Sans walking next to her, the Guards in the rear, their heavy armor clanking with each step. The only thing Sans knew about them was that they normally patrolled and stood guard in Hotland. He’d never cared to ask for their names and they weren’t exactly the talkative type, now he was too afraid to ask. In a physical fight they’d be able to crush him with almost no effort. They wouldn’t, they were his allies and betraying him would be counterproductive and land them in big trouble with Alphys, but they still could if they wanted to. How had he not been aware these kinds of things before?

“So… what are we going to be doing?” he asked Alphys mostly in an attempt to distract himself from how small he always felt while outside, not mention in their present company. Was he the smallest full-grown monster in the Underground? It certainly felt that way.

“We’re gonna be yelling at people to tell us where Burgerpants’ gang is hiding out. They’re still in Snowdin somewhere and there’s only so many places they can hide, it’s likely _someone_ knows something. We’re gonna root that person out and yell at them until they tell us everything they know.”

She was exaggerating, they were much more likely to try to bribe people first. Intimidation tactics had a higher probability of leading to a fight which would draw attention to them and keep them stuck in a fight for a while, giving the people they were looking for a warning and a chance to escape and better prepare their hiding spot.

 It was also highly likely that there’d be at least one person, either someone in the gang or associated with it in some other way, out on the streets, watching what was happening and reporting back on it. Finding and arresting that person, or those people, was today’s main goal. Getting them to rat out their friends’ hiding spot, either through bribery, intimidation, or torture, would lead them straight there.

Once upon a time performing such a task wouldn’t have seemed like anything more than a bit of extra work. But now Sans couldn’t imagine himself being able to do it successfully and knew for a fact he couldn’t. He was too timid, the opposite of intimidating and made him appear unable to follow through on a bribe. He was going to be dead weight on this mission.

“And you’re gonna let me do all the talking, okay?” Alphys continued as if reading his mind. “Just stay silent and try to look tough.”

“Okay.” Sans nodded, he could do that… maybe. Looking tough shouldn’t be too hard, right? He had his sword and armor and he’d sort of done it the other day at the store. And the two Hotland Guards should draw more attention than him anyway, they more than intimidating enough to make up for his shortcomings. So, this shouldn’t be too bad, right?

They headed straight for Muffet’s, the best place to go first when looking for someone in Snowdin. It was the most populated place in town and where everyone went to exchange gossip. The chances of someone there knowing something were good. And Muffet herself often knew a lot of what went on in Snowdin.

They reached it and Alphys wasted no time barraging in. Remembering what happened last time he’d been there, Sans almost hesitated before following her, the Hotland Guards right behind him. A nudge from Alphys was the only thing keeping him from locking up in terror as the murmur of conversation halted, everyone turning to look at them.

Alphys ignored them as she strode straight towards the bar, not even checking to see if Sans and the Hotland Guards were following her.

Muffet smiled at their approach. “Hi Sans, I know you’re here on official duty with the Captain but it’s good to see you again regardless.”

“Really?” Alphys said with a frown. “You’re gonna talk to him first?”

“Yes. His brother is one of my most frequent customers or… was, he doesn’t come around as often as he used to. How is he by the way?” She directed the question at Sans.

“He’s okay.” Just like last time Sans tried to sound as if it wasn’t a big deal. “His leg’s broken so he can’t get around very well.” Which would ‘explain’ why he stayed at home all day.

If she caught onto his lie she didn’t show it. “Tell him I said hello next time you see him. But why don’t you four take a seat, I’ll fix you up some drinks, on the house of course, and then we can get business.” She didn’t even wait for a response before turning to start making them drinks.

Alphys sighed in annoyance but sat down anyway. Sans sat next to her, the Hotland Guards next to him. People were still looking at them, he could almost feel their stares, whispering with their companions. He wouldn’t turn to look at them though, that would draw their to attention solely to him.

Having multiple pairs of hands meant Muffet could mix multiple drinks at once and soon had four drinks prepared for them. She lay them all out at once, the glasses clinking audibly against the bar top in the abnormal quiet caused by Alphys’ presence.

Sans stared down at his, not daring to touch it yet. He’d never been a big drinker but had enjoyed it occasionally. He hadn’t had anything alcoholic since he’d been kidnapped though. And there had been that time when he’d contemplated going to Muffet’s to get black out drunk. If he hadn’t gotten scared off by the people in the bar and had actually done so how different would things have gone that day? Would he still have gotten raped? Either by the dogs or someone else. Probably not, Muffet never let stuff like that happen in her bar. So, in that context, backing out had been a bad decision, right? He couldn’t undo it though so it didn’t matter.

But now was his chance if he still wanted to get drunk. Drinking until he passed out would mean no nightmares, right? He’d be dead to the world as well as his own mind. But… he shouldn’t do that, right? It wasn’t healthy and would only be a temporary solution, one that would leave him feeling worse the next morning. Not to mention Alphys wouldn’t let him get away with it, neither would Papyrus. So, he wouldn’t.

Feeling firm and almost proud in his decision he picked up the glass and took a small sip. Just to taste it, he wasn’t even going to finish it, he was on duty after all.

“So, on to business,” Alphys said after she’d used her glare to get them a bit more privacy at the bar. The murmur of conversation picking up a bit more helped too. “I’m sure you know why we’re here.”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” Muffet shrugged, a sly grin on her face.

Alphys groaned but reached into her pocket, pulling out a stack of gold coins. “I ought to fucking arrest you for making my job harder.” She slid the coins across the bar towards Muffet.

Muffet smiled as she accepted the coins. They caused them to disappear into a hidden pocket somewhere with a hand movement Sans didn’t quite catch. “If you did that though who would you go to when you wanted information? And besides the people of Snowdin would riot if the bar closed. I’m sure that would make your job a lot harder than I do.”

“Whatever, just tell us what you know about where Burgerpants and Nicecream’s gang are,” Alphys said. “And you better fucking know something ‘cause I fucking paid you.”

“Very well, there’s no need to get all huffy.” Muffet made a placating gesture with a couple of her hands that also came off as condescending. “I’m sure you already know from the Royal Scientist’s camera footage that they’re still in Snowdin but in case you don’t, they are. I don’t know where they’re hiding exactly but it’s possible I might know of someone who does.”

“Who and where are they?”

“Hmm,” Muffet put on a fake thoughtful face. “I don’t remember. You have anything to jog my memory?”

Alphys growled but reached into her pocket anyway and pulled another stack of gold. “I fucking hate you.” She slammed it on the table.

Muffet was one very few people who could smile in the face of Alphys’ anger. “That’s much better, thank you,” she said as she vanished those coins too. “Somebody who’s been known to associate with the people you’re looking for comes to my bar quite often. Late last night, right before closing, she ordered several bottles of alcohol, enough to supply a small group or… gang of people. She’s never done that before and was being secretive about it.”

It could of course be a coincidence, maybe she had guests over for a party. But those were rare even among the rich people living in the Capital and almost never done out here in Snowdin. Or she could’ve been stocking up for herself for whatever reason. What were the chances of that though? Especially so late at night.

And Burgerpants, Nicecream, and their gang were undoubtedly holed up somewhere while they tried to figure out how to get themselves out of the hole they’d accidentally dug for themselves. They’d be bored and terrified of the Guard finding them, alcohol would ‘help’ with both of those things. Such was the mentality of a lot people Sans had dealt with in the past, and having dealt with them in the past too he knew they shared it.

“Perfect,” Alphys said. “What kind of monster is she?”

“A red demon, a rare monster type for these parts. Which is why I initially noticed her hanging out with the drug dealers. She was wearing a disguise last night though, trying to hide herself.”

“Interesting,” Alphys said. “Where is she now?”

“I _actually_ have no idea, amazing, right? But given the right kind of motivation I might remember to contact you when she shows up in my bar again.”

Alphys growled. “You’re lucky you’re useful,” she said as she pulled out another stack of gold coins and slammed them down on the bar in front of Muffet.

Muffet smiled as she swept the gold off the bar. “You’ll pay me again after.” It wasn’t a question but a statement.

“Yeah, whatever.” Alphys stood. “You still have my number?”

“Yes, I would never delete such an important contact.”

“Good.” Alphys turned on her heel and started for the entrance. “Let’s go,” she said, waving for Sans and the Hotland Guards to follow her.

“Sans,” Muffet said as Sans stood to follow her, pausing he turned to look at her. “If you like once you’re about to head back home you can stop by here again and I’ll give you some food to take home to your brother, I know what he likes. I could fix something up for you too if you want.”

That would mean Sans wouldn’t have to cook, which given the other stressful things he was doing today would be nice. Also, Papyrus’ liked Muffet’s food, he’d said so on multiple occasions and had gone here often enough to prove it. It might be a nice surprise for him. Of course, it wasn’t healthy but did that really matter as long as they didn’t eat it all the time?

“Okay sure,” he said with nod. “Thanks.” He didn’t wait for her reply before rushing to catch up with Alphys and the Hotland Guards outside.

“I fucking hate dealing with people like her,” Alphys said with an angry huff as they started walking again. “Let’s go see if we can’t find anything else. Maybe we’ll even find that red demon chick on our own.”


	47. Aiming

“There you go.” Muffet gave Sans two bags, one filled with Papyrus’ favourite foods and something for Undyne. The other had food for Sans, he’d let her chose what to put in it since he’d never eaten here before and thus didn’t know what he’d like.

“Thanks again.” Sans handed her enough gold to pay for it. She’d offered to put it on Papyrus’ tab, but that was no doubt already more than big enough without adding to it.

“Anytime dear.” Muffet smiled at him. “Feel free to stop by whenever you want, you’ll always be welcome. And be sure to tell Papyrus I said ‘hi’.”

Sans nodded in answer before turning to leave. He’d made sure to get enough food for there to be leftovers to serve as supper later today, meaning he wouldn’t have to cook. So, once he was done visiting the babies he’d get to spend the rest of the day doing whatever he felt like. It wasn’t healthy to eat like this but… every once in a while, would be okay, right? Like on days that had him doing multiple stressful things, such as today.

Outside, he rejoined Alphys, falling into step with her as they resumed their journey home. She’d sent the Hotland Guards off a little while ago once she’d decided to conclude the search for today. They hadn’t found any other leads except for people noticing the general absence of the gang and people associated with it. They’d hidden themselves well.

As always, he sighed with relief once he was safely back inside the house. Another outing with nothing bad happening, in fact good things had happened instead. They’d found a good lead on the people who’d hurt Papyrus and he’d eliminated the need to cook for the rest of the day. So, there was no reason to be afraid of going outside, especially when he was with people. Maybe a few more outings like that would cure his fear of it, hopefully anyway.

Since Undyne and Alphys were still here he went straight to the kitchen to put his lunch in the fridge for now, also putting some of the extra stuff from the other bag. He’d eaten a big breakfast in anticipation of not being able to eat lunch until a bit later in the day. Papyrus had been okay with that idea too.

“You can have a fifteen-minute break and then it’s time to start our training session,” Alphys said as she walked into the kitchen, pulling his gaze to her as he closed the fridge. “I’m gonna make a sandwich for lunch, ‘kay?” She didn’t wait for his approval before opening the cupboard to start pulling stuff out. He’d offered to get her something from Muffet’s but she’d declined mostly out of spite because she didn’t like Muffet.

“That’s fine,” Sans said. “Just… don’t burn anything please.”

“I said I’m making a sandwich, how would I burn anything?” If anyone could find a way to burn a kitchen down while making a sandwich it was her. “Just go on up to your brother’s room, they’re probably watching anime. I’ll join you in a bit.”

“Okay, but… if you make a mess clean it up please.” It was too late for an ‘if’, she was already making a mess. Sans would be forced to clean it up if she didn’t. He had enough to do today without that.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll clean up after myself.”

Sans sighed, hoping she was telling the truth, before heading upstairs. First, he went to his room to take off his armor and sword. He’d put them back on later for training and when he went out to visit the babies. He didn’t want to wear them in the house though, too uncomfortable. He then went to Papyrus’ room.

“Yo Sans s’up?” Papyrus said as Sans closed the door. The room was once again filled with the smell of marijuana, though neither of Undyne nor Papyrus were smoking it still.

“I brought back food from Muffet’s.” He held up the bag, smiling at the way Papyrus’ face lit up at the sight of it. “She also says to tell you ‘hi’.”

“Awesome,” Papyrus said as Sans placed the table tray over his lap, putting the bag on it.

“There’s some stuff for Undyne in there to, I’ll eat later. And Alphys will be up in a bit.”

“Oh, thanks.” Undyne smiled at him. “When ya wanna go visit the tentacle babies? They’ve been missing you a lot.”

Sans sighed, trying not to let himself deflate at the reminder. “After I train with Alphys and whenever you’re ready.” He’d already done so much today, he’d been out of the house and doing stuff for so long. But… it was fine, he’d visit with babies for a little while and then he could relax for the rest of the day when he got home. So, it’d be fine.

“Don’t push yourself too hard, ‘kay?” Papyrus said. “Ya can take a break if ya want.”

“I’ll be fine. And I’m… actually taking a break right now.” Fifteen minutes wasn’t long but it would do. “So, what are you guys watching?” He sat on the bed next to Papyrus.

“Anime,” Papyrus said. “Shocking, I know, right?”

 

“We don’t have much time today,” Alphys said once they were out in the backyard. “I have some stuff I need to take care of. But we’ll do as much as we can in the time we do have.”

A limited time for training was fine with Sans. Preferable in fact, especially since he was going to visit the babies afterward. The sooner that got taken care of the sooner he could relax again and hang out with Papyrus, maybe finish cleaning his room or fix his coat or maybe do nothing at all. It wouldn’t matter because he’d deserve a break from doing things, right? Maybe.

“Since you don’t have a training dummy, we’re gonna have to get a little creative,” Alphys continued. “I’m gonna throw some axes in the air and you’re gonna hit them, both with thrown attacks and your Blasters. Maybe if we can get you to focus more on aiming than making your attack powerful you might be able to do more damage.”

That sort of made sense, not thinking about it was how he’d summoned his Blasters again that first time. They wouldn’t be able to tell if it worked though, it would be impossible to know how much damage he was doing. But that might end up being helpful too. So, he wasn’t going to worry about it.

“’Kay,” he said. “Ready when you are.”

Alphys positioned herself deeper in the yard to the side against the fence, facing perpendicular to him. “Good, for this first round use a Blaster.” She summoned one her axes into her hand and threw it in an arch over the yard.

Sans quickly summoned a Blaster and fired it. The beam missed and the axe fell to the ground, shattering on impact as Alphys let it vanish. Counter to Sans’ expectation, she didn’t say anything or even look disappointed, instead she summoned another axe and threw it, arching it perfectly so that it reached its apex in the middle of the yard.

Sans aimed and fired the Blaster again, cringing when the beam went wide, nowhere even close to the axe. But still Alphys didn’t react as she prepared to throw the next one.

It wasn’t until the fourth or fifth projectile that Sans’ finally landed a hit. “Good,” was all Alphys said as she wasted no time throwing another axe. Sans hit that one too, clipping it but still hitting it.

After that he quickly got the hang of it and was soon hitting almost every one. Once he was finally starting to feel confident with it though, Alphys paused. “Switch to bone attacks.”

“But…” Sans began before stopping himself. “Yeah, okay.” He let his Blaster dissipate. Its beam was bigger, making aiming it easier, with bone constructs he’d have to be a lot more precise. That was the point though, to practice aiming and focus on it.

Alphys threw her next attack in the same lazy arch as before. Not surprisingly Sans’ attack missed it. But that was okay, Alphys wasn’t mad or disappointed. It had been a while since he’d done anything like this after all. Which wasn’t good, he should’ve been working on getting himself back into fighting shape the day after he’d been rescued. But he hadn’t and he couldn’t change that now so he’d just have to get the hang of this again, like he was with pretty much everything else. He’d get it eventually… maybe. He just had to keep trying.


	48. Bathophobia

“How was training?” Papyrus asked as Sans and Alphys reentered his room.

“It was… okay.” Sans shrugged. He hadn’t quite gotten the hang of it yet but by the end he’d been hitting at least half the thrown axes. Better than nothing but still not as good as he should’ve been doing.

“He did great,” Alphys said as if stating a fact. “We focused on just aiming today and we’ll probably do so again tomorrow. And I’ve decided the day after tomorrow and the following one well will be break days.”

A break would nice, training everyday was exhausting. Sans was already looking forward to it.

“That doesn’t mean you get to slack off all day though,” Alphys continued.

“I won’t,” Sans said. He had to keep up his streak of doing at least one useful thing every day after all.

“Good.” Alphys nodded firmly. “Now on to other matters, I have a meeting with the Queen in just over an hour and a half and you’re planning on going to see the tentacle babies at Undyne’s, right?” She pointed at Sans.

“Yeah,” he said. “But…” Undyne would be coming with him, both as an escort and because she needed to go home which meant Papyrus would be home alone.

“I’ll instruct Dogamy to keep a discreet eye on your house while you’re gone then,” Alphys said, not giving anyone else an opportunity to interject their thoughts. “It’s not really needed but I know you’ll want to make sure. And if you’re not comfortable walking home alone call Dogaressa, she’ll escort you home under the guise of being on patrol and reporting to you.”

That would work but… did Sans really want to risk leaving Papyrus home alone? It wouldn’t be for long, only about an hour or two, but if anyone got past Dogamy and broke in, Papyrus was too injured to be able to put up much of a fight. That was unlikely though. Sans had spread the word that he was fine other than a broken leg, no one would risk that on top of angering Alphys and Undyne, maybe Sans too if they believed he was a threat again like he was pretending to be. And Dogamy was there just to make sure so the real worry was Papyrus being lonely and bored which wouldn’t be good for him.

But Sans needed to visit the babies, right? The longer he put it off the guiltier he’d feel about it. And they wanted to see him, the least he could do for them was that.

“Remember ya don’t gotta go see them if ya don’t want to,” Papyrus said. “No one will blame ya or get mad at ya for that.”

Sans would feel bad if he didn’t though and part of them _did_ genuinely want to go see them. Even if they could be scary sometimes and were a result of horrible stuff happening to him they were still cute and always super happy and excited to see him. And since the no touching rule had been implemented visiting them had grown a lot less stressful, excluding the present circumstances.

“If ya do go though, I’ll be okay by myself for a bit,” Papyrus continued. “I’ll take a nap or watch another movie or read a book or whatever.”

“You sure?” Sans asked. If Papyrus didn’t want him to leave he wouldn’t. He could visit the babies some other day when Alphys was free to keep Papyrus company. He’d feel bad about putting it off for longer but feeling bad was pretty much an everyday occurrence these days.

“Yeah, don’t worry ‘bout me, I’ll be fine. You do whatever ya wanna do.”

This was an out, a good excuse not to visit the babies that no one would blame him for taking. He’d feel guilty and bad if he took it but… who really cared? He did, he cared, he needed to go see them for at least a little bit. He could make the trip short, check up on them, hang out for a little bit and then go home. He didn’t need to be out of the house for much more than an hour.

He took a deep breath. “I’ll go but… it’s going to be a short visit. I hopefully won’t be gone for much more than an hour. You think you’ll be okay for that long?”

“Yeah, that’ll be fine.”

“Now that we have that settled, let’s go,” Alphys said. “And be sure to eat when you get back home Sans or I’ll have to slap you.”

 

“Try not to look so glum,” Alphys said shortly after they’d left after first making sure that Dogamy would be in the area, keeping an eye on the house just in case. “It’s not good for your image.”

“I know.” Sans forced himself to stand straight. “I’m just… kind of worried about Papyrus.” Leaving him alone at the house didn’t feel right. Being bedbound had to be lonely and boring, right? And what if someone _did_ try to break in for whatever, like to rob them or something, and Papyrus got hurt even more because of it? That was unlikely though, right? Dogamy wouldn’t let that happen.

“He’ll be fine,” Alphys said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Dogamy’s watching out for him.”

“I know,” Sans said again. He was still worried though. And… he was nervous about visiting the babies without Papyrus there. Undyne would be there to keep him company but she didn’t offer the same sense of safety as Papyrus did. It would be fine though, he wouldn’t let them touch him so he should be fine.

They walked in silence for a little while, heading towards… the river. Right, because most people took the ferry when they were going to different parts of the Underground, it was faster.

“Hey uh…” he stammered, coming almost to a halt. “Can we… walk there? Instead of… you know… taking the ferry.”

Undyne and Alphys paused too, turning to look at him confused. “Why?” Alphys asked.

“Well uh…” Sans couldn’t handle the river right now, not with where he was going and without Papyrus. “I uh… could use the exercise?” That was true, right? Exercise was good, they’d be happy with him for wanting more exercise, right?

They looked him for a few seconds more, still confused, before it seemed to click to Undyne. “Oh because of the… river, r-right? Where you held there was a river… and also when you were… Yeah, I uh d-don’t mind walking.”

“Oh fuck.” Alphys apparently got it too. “I didn’t think about that. I guess it makes sense. You’re gonna have to work on that sometime in the future but not right now so we’ll walk.” Decision made, she turned and started walking again, changing course to take the path instead. Sans and Undyne had to scramble to catch up with her.

Well, they both now knew he was afraid of the river like a worthless coward. At least they weren’t openly judging him for it and had decided to walk. And there were worse things they could’ve found out about him, namely his problems linked to his sexual conditioning. So, this was fine, sort of. Though the thought of ‘dealing with it’ sometime in the future was more than a little worrying. He’d rather not have anything to do with rivers or any kind of deep water ever again but now that Alphys knew he’d have no choice. Later though, he’d deal with that later.

Even walking at Alphys’ faster than average pace it still took them a while a while for them to reach Undyne’s place. Taking the ferry would’ve made the trip less than five minutes, not to mention easier, but neither of them said anything or even looked annoyed about it. That didn’t mean they weren’t bothered by it, it took a lot more time and effort to accommodate for Sans’ stupid fear of rivers, they had every right to be annoyed with him because of it. They were just too considerate of not upsetting him to show it, right?

“See you two later,” Alphys said before heading off in her own direction.

“See ya,” Undyne said, watching her until she disappeared around a corner. She then shook her head and turned towards the fence leading to her backyard, pulling out the key to unlock it.

Sans tensed as the fence door swung open. The instant he stepped into the backyard the babies erupted into a loud chorus of ‘Mama’ and sounds of general excitement. They were overjoyed, bouncing in the water and clambering over each other as they looked at him. They were always happy to see him, which was nice, but this was almost like he’d been gone for weeks or months. Though three days was probably a long time for monsters as young as them.

But… that dream last night, of them hatching and calling him ‘Mama’ over and over as they restrained him. No, that had _just_ been a dream born of the dark thoughts he’d had while they’d been latching onto him. They wouldn’t do that to him even if they could. And if they were raised right they would never want to. So, he had nothing to worry about… right?

“You okay Sans?”

Sans jumped a little as he turned his head to look at Undyne, he’d forgotten she was there for a second. “Yeah, I’m… okay.” He _was_ okay, he wasn’t going to go near enough for them touch him so he’d be fine. As long as he didn’t think any more about last night’s dream anyway.

“As you can see they missed you.” Undyne gestured towards them, they were still calling for him, eager for his attention. “They cry when you and Paps don’t show up.”

When they got older they’d understand, right? And they wouldn’t be so upset when he couldn’t visit because he could explain it to them. And they wouldn’t call and reach for him so much, right?

Taking a deep breath, he walked as close as he dared which was a foot or so further away than when he was with Papyrus. They whined, some were literally crying as they reached for him. It hurt to see but… he had to take care himself too. He couldn’t handle them touching him so he wasn’t going to let it happen. Maybe when Papyrus was coming with him again he might see if he could handle holding one at a time for a short duration and see where that took him. But he wasn’t doing anything even remotely like that without Papyrus there to make him feel safer.

“You’re not gonna uh… p-play with them or hold them?” Undyne asked.

“I… can’t.” He didn’t need to explain why, right? Undyne was smart enough to figure it out. She knew he was a coward and knew how that had come to be.

“Mama,” they whined, their high-pitched voices filled with an innocent desire for him to come close enough to touch.

“I’m sorry I can’t come any closer,” was all he could say to them. “But at least I’m here, that’s better than nothing, right?”

“I’m sure they’ll understand when they’re older,” Undyne said as she moved to crouch beside the pool. She nudged a few back deeper into the water to make sure they wouldn’t try to crawl out. They’d done so before in attempts to get closer to Sans but couldn’t move well on land.

They seemed soothed some by her proximity, a few even reached out to touch her. But their eyes kept going back to Sans as they made small grabbing motions with their tentacles, still wanting him to come closer. “Uncle Pappy?” One said, the others quickly picking up on it, their eyes darting around to look for him.

“H-he’s not here right now, he’ll be back in a few weeks,” Undyne said before turning her head to look towards Sans. “But uh… I suppose now’s a good time to tell you what I learned from studying them, if you’re interested anyway.”

“Sure, I’m interested.” Understanding them better could only be beneficial and might ease some of Sans’ fears concerning them. And listening to Undyne ramble should distract him from dark thoughts. So, he let himself relax as much as he could as she started talking, idly playing with the babies as she did so.

In full science mode she was verbose in a way that was almost hard to follow, her usual stutter almost non-existent. She explained because of how little time she’d had with them so far, she couldn’t know how long it would take them to become full-grown but that they seemed to be maturing fairly fast. But it would take longer than most monster types before they reached their full size, based off her estimates of their father’s size.

She went on talking about something to do with the way their tentacles functioned but Sans was quickly losing the thread. Tired as always and bored by the science talk, some of which he didn’t even fully understand because she wasn’t explaining it, just assuming he’d understand, his eyes started to droop. Leaning forward to try to look like he was interested, he rested his chin on his hand. Bored was better than scared or anxious though, _much_ better.


	49. Escort

When Dogaressa showed up to walk Sans home, she saluted, standing stiff and straight. Sans almost flinched, he didn’t deserve that kind of respect and wasn’t on duty right now, nor was there anyone other than possibly Undyne through her window around to see. So, there was there really a need to pretend?

“Hello sir,” she said. “I’m here to escort you home.”

“You don’t have to call me that,” Sans said.

Dogaressa tilted her head, confused. “What do you mean?”

Sans sighed, he wasn’t in the mood for this. “You don’t have to call me ‘sir’, I’m… not your commanding officer anymore.” He was no longer qualified to even be in the Guard let alone in a position of authority.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She paused for a few seconds as if expecting Dogamy to continue. “If you had been demoted the Captain would’ve informed us.” That shouldn’t have been necessary, it was pretty obvious.

“Whatever.” Sans turned and started walking. “Let’s just go.”

He shouldn’t need for someone to walk him home. He should be able to take care of himself, he had his Blasters and sword and armor after all, not to mention people were thinking he was starting to regain his old strength. It didn’t matter that that wasn’t true as long as people believed it. But… the thought of being alone, _especially_ in Waterfall, was too much. And he was already stressed out and tired enough from his visit with the babies and walking around with Alphys earlier, pretending to be tough, walking home alone was not something he wanted to deal with. Maybe it would’ve been a bit more bearable if calling Papyrus to ask him to teleport over to protect him or just take him home was an option. But it wasn’t, so, an escort it was.

Dogaressa positioned herself to walk to Sans’ side and a little behind, still giving Sans more respect than he rightfully deserved. It had to just be for show, Alphys might have even told her to do it. There was no way Dogaressa could still think of him as her commanding officer, no matter what she’d said on the subject.

But at least Sans was going home. He could eat lunch, play chess with Papyrus, and then he could lie down and relax for a bit. He’d be able to do whatever he pleased for the rest of the day. Tomorrow though he’d have to… No, he’d worry about it tomorrow, when it was relevant.

He wouldn’t worry about visiting the babies again either until he did so three days from now. He’d discussed it with Undyne and that timing was good for both of them. The babies wouldn’t like it or understand why it had to be that way but there wasn’t anything he could do about that so he’d try not to let himself worry about that either.

Without Alphys leading the way, forcing him to walk fast to keep up with her, the pace was slow. He was too tired to go fast even if he’d wanted to. He’d be justified in taking a nap after eating and chess, right? He’d done a lot of stressful things today, being sleepy was reasonable. Just as long as it was only for an hour or two it would be fine, right? Hopefully, if not… he might do it anyway, depending on how adamant Papyrus was.

No matter what though he’d be able to rest. He just had to focus on that thought to keep himself from slumping and dragging his feet, maintaining the image of being normal, until he got home.

***

Papyrus had been tempted to tell Sans to stay home and not visit the babies, his reasons had been entirely selfish though. He didn’t like Sans being so far away especially when he couldn’t teleport to him if needed. What if something bad happened and Sans got hurt? What if the babies accidentally did something that caused him to get upset? So, many things could go wrong and Papyrus would be helpless to do anything about it.

Sans would’ve stayed if Papyrus had asked him to, even just mentioning the possibility that he _could_ stay had seemed to have him considering it. But… it wouldn’t have been fair to do that to him. Part of him clearly wanted to go see the babies and he’d feel guilty and bad if he didn’t. Papyrus never wanted Sans to feel that way and would never put that kind of emotional pressure on him. Also, the babies didn’t deserve to not get to see Sans just because Papyrus was a bit over protective, even if that overprotectiveness was justified.

So, Papyrus was home alone. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he wasn’t stuck in bed, unable to walk around to try to find things to distract himself from worrying about Sans. His discomfort with the river would mean he’d be walking back with only Dogaressa to keep him safe. She was a perfectly good Guard but… not as good as Alphys. And what if Sans got freaked out by the babies again? As smart and good a friend as Undyne was she probably wouldn’t be able to handle that.

If something bad happened, Papyrus wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. He wouldn’t even know it was happening until long after it had occurred. All he could do was lie here and try to focus on the movie Sans had put on for him before leaving, after once more making sure he would be okay with being alone for a little while.

Sans had said he’d be gone for about an hour, it would probably be a little bit more though. He’d be walking, Alphys would undoubtedly set a fast pace on the way there so that shouldn’t take too long, but on the way back he’d probably go much slower. He’d be tired and his standard walking pace was much slower than it had been before. So, he’d probably be gone for more like an hour and a half to two hours, maybe a bit more. Which wasn’t that long but by the time thirty minutes or so had gone by it was starting to seem like it.

Papyrus checked his phone again. If anything happened they’d call or text him, right? He hadn’t brought that up with them before they’d left because he didn’t want to put the possibility of something bad happening into Sans’ mind or even let on that he was worried it would.

He was probably just being paranoid anyway. Sans was getting better at being able to defend himself and should know what his limits were with the babies. And he wouldn’t be alone at any point so he’d be fine.

Papyrus just had to wait for him to come back. He’d lie and say he’d been fine the whole time when Sans inevitably asked how he’d been. And then they could…

There was a bark from somewhere outside, barely audible through the walls and over the sound of the TV. The fact that he’d heard it at all meant that it had come from someone close to the house. Dogamy was supposed to be discreetly keeping an eye out for him, right? Had the bark been from him? If so, had it been a warning or something else?

Papyrus grabbed the remote and pressed the pause button so he could hear better in case it came again. There was nothing. That didn’t mean anything though. The walls were thick and there weren’t any windows, sound wouldn’t travel well through them. He might have not even heard anything at all.

Normally if he’d heard anything strange he’d have gotten up to check on it, ready to attack or teleport away if need be. But now he could barely even move let alone stand up and walk downstairs. So, if something _was_ happening he’d be in trouble.

It was probably nothing though, just his worry for Sans making him jumpy. It could’ve been nothing or Dogamy could’ve barked that loud for any number of reasons, a lot of which didn’t affect Papyrus.

He was beginning to believe that when the door to his room burst open with a small bang. In walked five or so masked and cloaked figures, moving as if in a hurry. A couple of them bore minor injuries, no doubt from Dogamy. Papyrus growled as he pushed himself up to sit straighter.

“Heya Paps,” that was Burgerpants’ voice coming from the figure who’d entered first and now stood slightly in front of the others. “We landed ourselves into a bit of a pickle when we didn’t kill you and Sans when we had the chance. You’ll hopefully be our ticket out of it. If you come peacefully I’ll…”

Papyrus summoned a Blaster. But almost immediately lost it at the surge of pain it brought, too much of his magic was going towards slowly repairing his injuries, he had almost none to spare for fighting. He’d lost this fight even before it had begun. But he held onto the Blaster anyway, he wouldn’t be able to fire it but maybe he could still intimidate them.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’,” Burgerpants said. “We gotta do this the hard way then.” He pulled a small bat out of a hidden pocket in his cloak. “Remember _don’t_ kill him, we need him alive.”

The others pulled out weapons too, all of them of the bludgeoning type. Papyrus growled before letting his Blaster go and teleporting. He landed behind them, about as far as he could teleport right now with his low magic reserves, balanced precariously on his good leg. The jolt of the teleport sent another wave of pain through his body which combined with the strain of the magic usage and only being able to put weight one leg almost had him falling over. Only sheer willpower kept him standing and balanced.

He summoned a bone construct in his hand, stabbing it towards Burgerpants’ back. But he was already turning around, lifting his weapon to deflect it. It shattered. Burgerpants used the momentum to go for another attack.

Papyrus jerked back to dodge, placing weight on his broken leg. He collapsed with a gasp of pain, his body automatically trying to curl around the screaming agony in his leg, almost bad enough to drown out the pain from everything else.

He looked up as the gang encircled him once more, opening his mouth to say ‘fuck you’ to Burgerpants. But didn’t even get a chance to draw a single breath before his peripheral vision caught sight of club rushing to meet the side of his head.


	50. Note

There was a commotion a couple houses down the street from Sans’ own. Judging by the sounds it was a fight, not a super uncommon occurrence but unusual in that it was in the middle of the street. What the combatants were fighting about or even who and how many there were, Sans couldn’t tell. Too many people had crowded around to watch, seeing past them was impossible for someone as short as him. It wouldn’t have been a problem if Sans didn’t need to walk past it to get home.

“Something’s wrong,” Dogaressa said, her muzzle pointed up in the air as she sniffed.

Sans paused, she wouldn’t have said anything if her problem had just been with the fight. “What… is it?” He was almost home, why did something have to go wrong now of all times?

Dogaressa growled softly, barely audible over the commotion caused by the fight and its spectators, as she sniffed again. “I smell blood… Dogamy’s.” She burst into motion, rushing past Sans and the crowd.

Having no other choice if he didn’t want to be left alone, Sans rushed to follow. The crowd wasn’t paying attention to him so he should be fine… maybe. And Dogamy bleeding could _not_ be a good thing.

He caught up with her as she reached the house, not the front door but the fence separating off the backyard. There was no gate, the only way in was through the house and out the backdoor, so she was hoisting herself up to scramble over the fence. How she did that while still wearing heavy armor was a mystery but she did, landing on the other side with a loud clank.

Sans of course couldn’t follow, he wouldn’t be able to reach the top of the fence even if he jumped. So, he rushed towards the front door, pulling out his key. This could _not_ be good. If Dogamy was bleeding that meant he was injured, possibly dead. What if something happened to Papyrus too? Hopefully it was someone getting revenge on Dogamy for something and the location was entirely because he’d been watching the house. What had he been doing in the backyard then? He was supposed to be discrete.

Sans’ hands shook bad enough that he almost dropped the key as he unlocked the door. Once on the other side relocking it was even more difficult. He _needed_ to rush upstairs to make sure Papyrus was okay. Then he’d head for the back yard to see what was up with the dogs.

As soon as the door was secured he ran up the stairs, pocketing his key. He froze at the top. The door to Papyrus’ room was wide open.

“Pappy?” His voice came out as barely a squeak as he approached. He took a deep breath to try again. “Pappy… you in there?”

No answer. Maybe Papyrus was sleeping.

Sans forced himself to walk in. It was empty, Papyrus wasn’t there. On the bed was a folded sheet of paper with the words ‘ _READ ME_ ’ sloppily written on it in big letters with a blue pen. There was no dust though so Papyrus was still alive… right?

Sans grabbed the paper and carefully unfolded it so his shaking hands wouldn’t drop it. _We have your brother. If you ever want to see him again stop trying to find us and ruin the Gaurds atempts to find us to._ It was signed _BP_ in a poor attempt at stylish lettering with more words underneath, hastily written and barely decipherable. _We have Dogamy to becuase he attaked us. He dies to if Dogaresa trys anything._

Sans stared at it, rereading the first part again and then again. How could he have not considered this? They knew they were being hunted so of course they’d look for a way to keep themselves safe. What better way to do that than getting themselves a hostage or two? They’d probably been watching the house since day one, keeping an eye on their newly made enemies. They’d seen Sans leave with Alphys and Undyne, leaving Papyrus alone, too injured to be able to fight properly. The fight outside had been a distraction to draw everyone else’s attention away from the house while they did their thing.

Sans sat on the bed, tears filling his eyes as he crumpled the paper in his hands. This was his fault. He should’ve stayed. Would he have been able to do anything though? Probably not. But they wouldn’t have come if he hadn’t left, right?

What if they hurt Papyrus? What if they… raped him? That’s what they’d been planning to do to Sans so it was possible. Papyrus _couldn’t_ be forced to go through that. Sans would rather die than have Papyrus go through anything similar to the stuff he’d been forced to suffer.

Dogaressa burst into the room, skidding to a halt just past the doorway. “The trail’s fresh.”

Sans stared at her, blinking through his tears. She was expecting something from him. What though? “How fresh?” Was it possible to catch up to them and save Papyrus before they got away?

“Ten, fifteen minutes at most.”

Sans pushed himself to his feet, stuffing the paper into his pocket. “Let’s… go after them.” There was no other option, they _had_ to give chase. What if it was too late though? What if Papyrus’ captors had already disappeared back inside their hiding spot?

Dogaressa turned on her heel and set out. Sans followed, rushing to keep up. She led him downstairs and out the backdoor, hanging open on busted hinges. In the snow there was signs of a minor skirmish and blood, even two piles of dust. Dogamy’s work no doubt, Papyrus couldn’t even stand let alone put up that much of a fight.

Dogaressa ignored it as she kept walking, following a jumbled trail of footprints. How many sets of footprints there were was hard to tell with how they’d obviously backtracked over their trail when they were leaving. There had to be at least around ten though, probably a bit more if most of the surviving gang members had come.

The trail led straight to a breach in the fence on the opposite side of the yard. It was too small for Dogaressa to fit through so she once more positioned herself to pull herself over the fence to the side of it. Sans however could basically walk through it.

On the other side the trial was much more obscured, both through intentional efforts to cover it and because the snow was naturally a mess here anyway. That was no problem for Dogaressa though, as soon as she landed she pointed her nose towards the ground, sniffing as she set off once more.

Sans struggled to keep up with her and she didn’t seem to care if he did or not. If she wasn’t slowed by having to follow a scent trail she’d have no doubt left him behind in seconds. On the bright side running to keep up with her distracted him from having to think a whole lot.

The trail ended up being almost a prefect straight line to the river. Dogaressa skidded to a halt at its edge, Sans several feet away. “Fuck,” she growled, ignoring Sans as he took a couple steps backward and away from the river.

“Did you… lose the trail?” Sans was trembling and it wasn’t because of the cold.

Dogaressa growled again, not answering as he started to strip off her heavy armor, letting it fall to the ground. Her fur was bristling underneath, making her look twice as big. Once she was no longer weighed down she jumped into the river, not showing any reaction to the cold as she started paddling towards the other shore.

“Don’t…” Sans choked back a plea to have her come back. He couldn’t follow her and he didn’t want to be left alone. But he couldn’t stop her, this was personal for her too, they had her mate. And he shouldn’t either, it was possible she might be able to pick up the trail again on the other side or somewhere down the river. That’s what she’d be trying to do.

Even if Sans wasn’t so weak and fearful he wouldn’t have been able to help her find the trail again. He was much slower and didn’t have the ability to pick up on scent trials. So, he was completely useless in this scenario.

Breathing heavy from the run, he retreated further from the river and whatever potentially hid in its depths. What should he do? What _could_ he do? Papyrus was in trouble, he _had_ to do something. But… he was so weak and…

Alphys! He’d call Alphys. As Captain of the Guard she needed a report of these events and… Sans needed to talk her. She’d know what do. She’d know how to save Papyrus.

His hands shook as he pulled his phone out, back pedaling even further away from the river. He misdialed her number twice before he got it right. It didn’t ring though, went straight to voice mail instead. That’s right, she had a meeting with the Queen today, she’d have turned her phone off for that. He tried again anyway, just in case, but got the same result.

Sans whimpered as he pocketed his phone. He glanced around, at least no one was nearby to see the tears in his eyes. What should he do though? He couldn’t do anything until he could contact Alphys again. How long was her meeting going to last? That would depend on what it was about, right? Which he didn’t know, she’d have probably told him if he’d asked but he hadn’t thought to.

“Oh Pappy, please be okay, please,” he whispered to himself as he drew his arms in to hug himself. They weren’t going to kill Papyrus, not yet anyway. The note implied they were keeping him as a bargaining chip so they _couldn’t_ kill him. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t hurt him though, possibly badly and in the same way Sans’ had been hurt. “I’ll save you okay? I promise. Like you did for me.”


	51. Lost

Sans was going to kill them. He was going to kill the people who hurt and kidnapped Papyrus. He’d make them pay. But… how was he going to do that? He was all alone, bad things happened to him when he was alone. He needed Papyrus to protect him but he wasn’t here. So, what could he do?

He was walking, it was all he could do. He had no destination in mind and wasn’t even paying attention to where he was or where he was going or any of the things happening around him. He couldn’t hold still, he had to do _something_ , but couldn’t do _anything_. So, he just walked.

He pulled out his phone again to dial Alphys’ number for the umpteenth time. It _still_ went straight to voice mail. How long had she been in that meeting? How long had Sans been walking aimlessly? Minutes? Hours? He had _no_ idea. Night wasn’t falling yet though so… not too long, right?

He tried Dogaressa’s number again, maybe she’d picked up the trail again and found their hiding spot, maybe she’d even already saved both Dogamy and Papyrus. But just like the other… two… three… (how many times had he attempted to call her?) times he’d called her number, the phone rang but nobody picked up. That didn’t have to be a bad thing though, did it? She could be too busy to answer… or something. Maybe she dropped it.

He put his phone away as he continued walking, not taking in anything surrounding him. He _needed_ to do something to save Papyrus. He couldn’t let anything bad happen to him, he just couldn’t. But he was weak and worthless and… he _needed_ Papyrus. But Papyrus _wasn’t_ _here_ and Sans had no way of finding where they’d taken him. And he had no way of hurting the people who’d hurt Papyrus. So, head bowed, he just kept walking along whatever route his feet wanted to take him on.

“… Sans?”

Sans froze in place at the voicing of his name, there’d been more words before it but they hadn’t registered as anything other than formless sounds. He turned his head to look towards the speaker, he should probably be terrified, he was alone after all and bad things happened to him when he was alone, but didn’t have the emotional capacity for it.

It was Muffet. He blinked in shock, almost losing his balance as he finally took in his surroundings. He was standing in the middle of Muffet’s bar, half turned towards the exit. Luckily, it was apparently one of the bar’s off hours as there weren’t many people seated around the place and other than a few quick glances they weren’t paying him any attention. But why was he here? Why would he blindly wonder into Muffet’s of all places?

“You okay Sans?” Muffet was looking at him with an almost concerned expression on her face.

“No.” Sans’ voice was emotionless and empty. He was _not_ okay, even more so than usual, this was the least okay he’d been in a while.

“All right, come on over here dear.” She gestured for him to come over to the bar. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Not having the willpower to resist an order, and nothing else to do anyway, Sans stumbled over and half collapsed onto one of the bar stools. “A drink?” Alcohol would help, right? That would be the only reason why he would come in here.

“I can’t give you a drink, unless you want something non-alcoholic.”

“Why not?” She was a bar tender, a greedy one at that, she should be jumping at the chance to sell him some alcohol. He’d gladly drink until he couldn’t anymore, screw how much it would cost.

“Your brother would be _very_ unhappy with me if I gave you alcohol in your current state. And he’d never forgive me if I let you get drunk. Besides, you don’t need it. I can pour you a glass of apple juice instead, how does that sound?” She didn’t wait for him to respond before turning to do just that.

A few seconds later she handed him a glass, he accepted it, grasping it in both hands in an attempt to still their trembling. Whatever weird emotional numbness he’d been experiencing was rapidly fading with having to pay attention to the world around him again, leaving him with his usual anxiousness as well as fear he now had for Papyrus too. He wanted it back but… it had been dangerous, _very_ dangerous. He had no idea how long he’d been like that or the path of his wondering, the part of the river he’d been at was a fair ways away from Muffet’s bar. If anyone had attacked him he wouldn’t have been the slightest bit prepared.

“Okay now, tell me what happened,” Muffet said after he’d taken a few sips of his drink. She was looking directly at him, giving him her full undivided attention. Why though? It didn’t make sense.

“Um…” Sans took another drink. It would’ve been better if it was alcohol, why did Muffet have to wait until he wanted to get drunk to deny it to him? “Pappy was…”

Could Sans trust Muffet with this information? If he revealed that Papyrus had been kidnapped he’d also have to reveal how badly hurt he’d been. Muffet had been friendly so far and she and Papyrus were at the very least friends, with how much time Papyrus had used to spend here they _had_ to at least be that. But… that didn’t mean she was a hundred percent trustworthy.

“What happened to Pappy, Sans?” Muffet’s voice was perhaps the most serious Sans had ever heard it.

Papyrus could be getting hurt right now and Sans was sitting here being useless and miserable. He should be doing something but… what? He needed to report to Alphys and he needed to wait for Dogaressa to report back on her luck with picking up the gang’s scent trail. Both things that required him to sit tight and wait. But there had to be something he could do in the meantime, right? If he wasn’t a worthless coward he would know what that was.

“Sans.” Muffet lightly slapped two of her hands down on the bar top. “I _need_ to know what happened to Papyrus.”

She was rather insistent and maybe smart enough to know what he should do next so… “He was… captured.” Sans almost teared up on the word. Why did voicing things have to be so difficult? “I… had to go somewhere… Undyne and Alphys too, we… left him alone.” How could he have ever thought that was a good idea? “While we were gone… Burgerpants and his gang… broke in and… took him hostage. They have Dogamy too.” It was Sans’ fault too, he should’ve stayed home to protect Papyrus.

There was a long pause where they didn’t look at each other before Muffet spoke. “So, the initial rumors were true, Papyrus had been hurt badly, possibly almost killed?”

Sans nodded. “Don’t tell anyone please.” That could land them in trouble after Papyrus was saved… _if_ Papyrus was saved. It was possible he could die, killed by his captors maybe even on accident. He was already injured quite badly after all. There was no way he’d have gone with them without attempting to fight back, even knowing it was useless. They’d probably had to knock him unconscious to be able to capture him. Meaning he _could_ be dead. There’d been no dust in the room but he could’ve succumbed to his injuries on the way to the gang’s hideout or after they got there. He might even be slowly dying right now with no one around who’d bother to even try to save him.

Sans clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle a sob at that thought as his eyes flooded with tears. He _shouldn’t_ cry in public but now that he’d realized the _very_ real possibility of Papyrus being dead he couldn’t stop. Nor would he really care to if Papyrus _was_ dead.

He jumped, almost yelping with terror as Muffet put a gentle hand on his arm. “Why don’t you come to the back with me dear?” she said.

Sans probably shouldn’t trust Muffet enough to go to the back with her but… being seen crying in public was dangerous and there was no way he could stop now that he’d started. This was his only option.

He nodded as he stood up and stumbled over to the service entrance to the bar. She ushered him to the door at the rear of the bar and into a back room.

He kept his head bowed, hugging himself, as he let her guide him with a gentle hand on his shoulder over to a purple couch that he gratefully sank onto. His shoulders shook with sobs as he drew his legs up to hug them to his chest. He was away from prying eyes so he could cry as much as he needed to.

The couch dipped as Muffet sat beside him. “You want to be left alone?” she asked in a whisper.

No, Sans did _not_ want to left alone. “No, but… if you don’t want to stay… you can go. I know you… probably have stuff to do.” He couldn’t ask Muffet to stay. She didn’t even have any reason too, she was Papyrus’ friend, not his.

“Okay, I’ll stay,” she said, contrary to his expectations. “Have you called Alphys?”

“Yeah, but she’s… in a meeting with the Queen so… her phone’s off.” Why couldn’t that meeting have been at any other time? Why did it have to be today? “Do you think… Pappy might be…” He was unable to finish as another sob wracked his body at the thought.

“No dear,” Muffet said, her voice gentle but filled with conviction. “He’s much stronger than that, you know that. His biggest worry is probably you, so he’ll be fine. I’ll even help you find him.”

Sans paused as he finally looked up at her. “You will? Why?” She had no reason to help save Papyrus.

“He owes me money, remember? I can’t let someone with a tab as big as his run off and die without paying it.” It might’ve been a joke, Sans had never been good at figuring those out. But he wouldn’t have been surprised if that wasn’t at least part of the reason she’d want to save Papyrus. “And I _know_ he can’t be dead. He wouldn’t let himself get killed by a bunch of stupid street thugs, he’s _much_ stronger than that. So, you don’t have to worry about him so much dear, he’ll be fine.”

Sans sniffed, still crying but slightly less hard. “Thanks.” He wasn’t sure if she’d said any of that with the goal to comfort him but it had, even if it was just a little bit. She was right, Papyrus was one of the strongest monster he’d ever met, it would take a lot to kill him. Worrying about him being dead wouldn’t do him any good. Sans _had_ to operate on the belief that Papyrus was still alive, he wouldn’t be able to function otherwise.


	52. Bound

Papyrus drifted awake to the sounds of voices. He couldn’t quite make out what they were saying yet, only that the conversation tense, probably an argument. _Everything_ hurt, every injury he’d taken from the fight with Burgerpants’ gang was filled with renewed pain. The agony in his head and leg trumped that though. It was dizzying and had him feeling ill, even without moving yet. He didn’t want to face reality yet but had to.

“Sans?” He groaned as he forced his eyes open. He wasn’t in his room but lying on the hard floor in an unknown room, facing a blank wall. “Shit.” He tried to move only to find that his hands were tied behind him back, tight enough to be almost painful. His ankles were tied together too. The ropes felt thick and strong, there’d be no breaking them with force even if he weren’t severally weakened by his injuries.

“ _You’re_ the one who wanted to fuck Sans before killing him so this is _your_ damn fault.” That was Nicecream’s voice borderline shouting, muffled like Papyrus was hearing it through a closed door. “If we had killed him upfront like we were _originally_ fucking planning to, we wouldn’t be in this fucking mess to begin with.”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know he’s not as weak as he’s pretending to be?” Burgerpants’ voice, angry and heated just like Nicecream’s. “Doggo said Sans let them fuck him so I’d thought it be fun. That little bitch certainly fucking deserved it. And you fucking agreed to it, very enthusiastically too.”

Papyrus growled. How _dare_ they talk about Sans like that? Papyrus was going to string them up by their intestines for even _daring_ to think about Sans like that.

“I know, but it was dumb.” Nicecream again, his voice had dropped a little. “And now we’re _fucking_ screwed.”

There was a short pause before Burgerpants answer, also speaking quieter than before. “It’ll be fine, I promise. They can’t do anything to us as long as we have Papyrus as a hostage. And we got Dogamy too so that should at least Dogaressa off our backs.”

“This won’t last though, all you’ve done is delay the inevitable. They’ll find us eventually and they won’t want to sit around and do nothing forever. They’re either gonna try to save Papyrus and Dogamy or accept their loss and move against us anyway because we stole a fucking magic blocker. Sans and Alphys are pals so they’ll probably want to try rescue first. When they inevitably try, because they _will_ no matter what you might say, if they don’t succeed we’ll have to kill one of them or they’ll think we’re bluffing. If they try again they’ll either succeed or we’ll be forced to follow through with out threat again and then we’ll we have nothing left. So, no matter what we’re already as good as dead. We were basically dead the exact fucking minute Sans foiled our trap.”

“Nah, we’ll get out of this somehow, we always do, so don’t be so pessimistic. We’re the best team out there, we’ll for sure figure something out soon.”

Whatever Nicecream replied with, if he replied at all, was too quiet to be heard through the door. But that seemed to be the end of conversation, or they’d moved out of earshot, as no more seemed to be coming.

Ignoring the pain pounding through his head and coursing through his body, Papyrus took a deep breath and summoned a bone construct in his hand. It shattered immediately though, his magic stores were too low and the strain on them had sent another pulse of pain through him.

He growled again. Not only would he not be able to free himself and escape he also wouldn’t be able to get revenge yet. The bastards who’d wanted to hurt Sans were _right_ there and he couldn’t do anything to them. He was too weak and injured.

But that paled in comparison to Sans. When he returned home and found Papyrus had been captured he’d be _devastated_. And no one would be there to comfort him and make sure he’d be okay. What would he do? What if he tried to… no, he wouldn’t. He’d know that Papyrus is still alive, that was important for Nicecream and Burgerpants’ plan to even have a chance at succeeding. Sans would go to Alphys, she’d keep him safe and comfort him as much as he she could.

If he were able to, Papyrus would’ve teleported out right then and there to make sure, even if it meant finding the gang again would be more difficult. But if he didn’t have enough magic to summon a simple bone construct he _definitely_ wouldn’t have enough to be able to teleport even a centimeter or two let alone all the way back home or somewhere else safe. Trying anyway would most likely end with him dead.

But Sans _needed_ him. So, he’d have to figure something soon. Waiting until night when his captors were asleep would probably be a good idea and he needed time to rebuild some strength. Sans would just have to hold on until then, hopefully he’d be okay.

 

Papyrus was forced awake as someone grabbed onto his bound wrists and jerked him up. He had to hold back a grunt of pain, he wasn’t going to give them that satisfaction. His head swam at the rough movement though, they’d really hit his head hard, huh? He did his best to ignore it.

“Ugh fuck, why are you so heavy? You’re a damn skeleton.” It was Burgerpants dragging him backwards by his wrists seemingly being as ungentle as possible.

But being moved gave Papyrus a chance to get a better look at his surroundings even through his slight dizziness. They were in small windowless room made of concrete. Dogamy was chained to one wall by a collar around his neck, his muzzle held shut with copious amounts of duct tape, his hands and feet similar to the way Papyrus’ were. He also appeared to be asleep or unconscious, possibly drugged to keep him from trying to escape.

Burgerpants dragged Papyrus out of the room, into a bigger one, though it was by no means a large space either. But it was big enough to house what had to be what was left of gang as they all crowded around to no doubt make sure he wouldn’t be able to get away with trying anything. It was made of concrete, just like the previous room, no carpet or anything like that. It had to be basement, or a hidden room to some building. But there was no clue to where in Snowdin it might be.

“This is less than ideal but we’ll have to try to work this out.” That was Nicecream. He was seated at a desk, a heavily bandaged leg propped up on a footstool. “If you cooperate you won’t get hurt.”

“Fuck you.” Papyrus growled, jerking against Burgerpants hold on him. He would teleport to try to kill them but… he couldn’t in his current state. He could probably do a short teleport but wouldn’t be able do anything afterward even if he could work through the pain it would cause, his magic was much too low.

“Yeah whatever.” Nicecream scoffed. “We just need you here to confirm that you’re alive when we call your shitlord of a brother to make sure he’s gotten the message.” He pulled out a cellphone, Papyrus’. Of course, they’d stolen it, why wouldn’t they?

At least Papyrus would get a chance to talk to Sans, even if it was just for a little bit. Hopefully he was with Alphys by now.


	53. Threat

Sans jerked awake to the sound of his phone ringing, a common occurrence. But what wasn’t common was his eyes fluttering open to the sight of a purple room that had a giant spiderweb canopy hanging over everything. And in that spiderweb were tons of little spiders just hanging out. Luckily, none of his acquired phobias included a fear of spiders otherwise he would’ve freaked out at the sight.

Right, he was in the back room at Muffet’s and somehow hadn’t noticed the giant spider web before. Though to be fair he’d been crying and not exactly interested in looking up. Emotionally exhausted, he’d ended up crying himself to sleep, his head resting on the arm rest of the couch. By the looks of things Muffet had left but had lain a soft fuzzy blanket over him before doing so.

His phone started ringing again, pulling him the rest of the way towards wakefulness. It had to be Alphys, right? She’d gotten out of her meeting and had turned her phone on and had seen all his missed calls and was calling to see what was the matter.

He sat up and pulled his phone out, freezing when saw the caller ID. It read PAPYRUS. He’d never accepted a call faster.

“Pappy!” he said, tears of relief in his eyes. “Are you okay? Where are you?”

“Sorry but no, this isn’t Pappy.” That was Nicecream’s voice, one of the people who’d hurt Papyrus and had now taken him hostage.

But _of course_ , it wasn’t Papyrus. They’d kidnapped him, it made sense for them to have his phone too, the bastards.

Sans growled, clenching the phone hard enough to make his hand tremble. “I’m going to _fucking_ _kill_ you if you don’t let my brother go _right_ fucking now.” He’d kill them regardless but he might consider being merciful about it if they let Papyrus go.

“We can’t do that. But here’s the deal, you stop trying find us and we won’t kill him. Convince Alphys to drop all charges against us and to let us walk free and disappear somewhere in the Capital and we’ll let him go. If we catch you snooping around for our hiding spot we’ll… cut off one his hands and send you the resulting dust. Keep it up and we’ll keep cutting off pieces until his dies.”

Sans froze, his free hand clenching the blanket tight. They wouldn’t really do that, would they? They would, their lives were on the line so they totally would. Sans _couldn’t_ let it happen.

“As proof that he’s alive and whole, for now anyway, we’ll let you talk to him,” Nicecream continued.

There were several seconds of silence before Papyrus’ voice came through the phone. “Hey Sans.” The relief in his voice was audible even through the phone. But he also sounded tired. “Ya doing okay?”

“Oh my gosh, Pappy.” Even with everything going on, Sans felt better with just hearing his voice. “Yeah, I’m… okay, well as okay as I can be right now. What about you? Are you… okay? Did they… hurt you?” Did they rape him?

“I’m… good, sorta. You’re with Alphys, right?”

“Yeah.” Lying in this instance was okay, Papyrus would worry about him if he knew Sans was alone. “Can you… teleport?” he whispered, hoping the others weren’t eavesdropping.

“I might be able to but… only a short distance. I’m kinda… a bit beat up right now.” He was no doubt downplaying it, if he’d had enough magic and was in good enough shape to teleport to safety he’d have done so by now. Trying would undoubtedly hurt him further and might kill him.

“I’ll save you.” Sans would find a way. Nothing else mattered to him more than Papyrus so he’d figure something out.

“Sans that’s…” His voice cut off as the phone was no doubt taken from away.

“There, you know he’s alive now.” Burgerpants now spoke. “So, get to convincing the Captain to give us a pardon for everything including stealing the magic blocking thingy and attacking her Guards or you’ll never see him again.” The line went dead.

Sans pulled the phone down to look at it. Should he try calling them back to demand they let Papyrus go? They wouldn’t though, they might not even pick up. So, it wouldn’t do any good and might just annoy them, the last thing Sans would want to do when they had Papyrus at their mercy.

He could call Alphys though, he’d been asleep for a little while, hopefully she’d be out of her meeting by now. He dialed her number but it _still_ went straight to voice mail.

“Fuck you Alphys,” he said, putting his phone away. “Fuck you and your stupid meeting with the Queen.” It made sense that she’d turn her phone off for it, it was a meeting with the ruler of the Underground after all, but _why_ did it have to be right now? _Any_ other time would’ve been preferable, like when Papyrus wasn’t kidnapped and in danger. And why did it have to be so long?

Sans couldn’t handle this situation, it was _way_ too much. But he had to, he _couldn’t_ let anything bad happen to Papyrus. But it already had, _twice_.

Sans was going to kill them, he was going to make them pay for hurting Papyrus. He’d drag their deaths out as long as he could for this. He’d keep it together and rescue Papyrus, he _had_ to. Papyrus was in this situation because of him, he would get him out of it. But _how_?

He pulled his phone out again to try to call Dogaressa once more. He needed help and he needed information, he couldn’t do this by himself especially since he had no way to track the gang down. But just like all the times before, the phone rang but there was no answer.

“ _Fuck_.” He threw the phone down onto the surface of the couch next to him, tears of frustration and anger filling his eyes. He couldn’t do anything right now no matter how much he wanted to.

A short while later the door leading to the bar opened again and Muffet walked in. She was carrying a glass of what was probably more apple juice and a small plate with a large muffin on it. “You okay?” She said as she sauntered over and placed on them on the coffee table in front of him.

“No.” Sans picked up the glass and took a drink, yep it was more apple juice. Did she think he was child? He placed it back down with a sigh, he’d finish it later. “They called though and I got to talk to Pappy for a bit so at least I know he’s alive.” For now.

“What did they say?”

“They want a pardon from Alphys to be allowed to go free in the Capital.” Alphys wouldn’t be able to give that, the Queen would never allow it. Maybe if the Queen didn’t know about it, it might be possible. But that was unlikely, she had spies everywhere. In fact, the meeting with Alphys was probably about the stolen magic blocker, such things could only be kept a secret for so long especially from her informants.

“I don’t know what to do.” His rage was fading for now to be replaced with despair once more. How had he ever been able to stay mad for so long?

“We’ll find them soon, I promise,” Muffet said. “But for now, why don’t you eat something?” She gestured towards the muffin on the table.

“I’m not hungry.” A lie, Sans was almost starving. But he couldn’t eat with her here… or at all, Papyrus wasn’t here to help him with his problem afterward.

“Okay, but I’ll leave it there in case you change your mind.” Muffet stood. “I’m going to head back out to the front though, you can stay back here as long as you like. If you need me just knock on the door.”

“Thanks,” Sans said. “I really appreciate this.” He didn’t know where else he could’ve gone other than home where’d he’d have been all alone. At least here he had company and someone to distract him from dark thoughts, even if Muffet wasn’t his friend or the most comforting of presences.

The look Muffet shot him was one of pleasant surprise. “Wow, you’ve become rather cute, haven’t you?”

Sans froze, icy terror shooting through his soul. “D-don’t call me… that.” It was just a word, a compliment even, and she’d meant it in the nicest way possible but… that’s what his captor had called him all the time, cute and adorable. He could still remember what its voice had sounded like when it had said those things to him, how it had cooed at him and spoken to him as if he were a child.

Muffet’s eyes widened in surprised, her gentle smile morphing into a small frown. “I’m sorry dear.” She sounded sincere too. Why would she care though? He was just scared of a dumb word. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Are you going to be okay?”

No, ‘okay’ was impossible for Sans, had been for a long time, now it was even harder. “I’ll be… fine, just… go.”

Muffet hesitated for a few seconds before replying. “Okay, but be sure to knock of the door if you need me for anything, I’ll answer as soon as I’m free.” She stared walking towards the door again. “I’ll be back to check up on you again in like an hour, okay?”

Sans nodded his assent and she left. With shaking hands, he reached to pick up the glass of apple juice again. By the time he’d finished drinking it he had almost even calmed down.

Freaking out about a word was not good, he needed to never do it again. But he undoubtedly would if anyone ever called him ‘cute’ or ‘adorable’ again, he was weak like that.

The silence was shattered by his phone going off again. He put the empty glass down and picked it up, sighing with relief when he saw the caller ID. It was Alphys this time.

“What happened?” she said as soon as he accepted the call. “I have like a billion missed calls from you so something fucking happened.”

“Pappy was kidnapped.”

There was a long silence. “What the fuck?”

“Burgerpants and his gang broke in and… captured him while we were out. They got Dogamy too when he attacked them.”

“God _fucking_ damn it.” Alphys growled, her voice raised almost loud enough to painful over the phone. “That’s fucking…. Are you okay? No, fuck, of course you’re not fucking okay. Where are you? How long ago did this happen?”

“I’m at Muffet’s bar, in the back room. It happened a few hours ago, I don’t know how many for sure.”

“You’re really at _that_ money grubbing whore’s place?”

“Yeah, I uh… just sort of ended up here.” Telling her about that weird numb emptiness he’d experienced after learning of Papyrus’ capture probably wouldn’t do him any good. “She was nice and let me sit the in back so I could… calm down some.” Key phrase for ‘stop crying like a bitch’.

“Ah, what the fuck ever, as long as you’re safe. What about Dogaressa?”

“Uh… she had their trail, it led to the river. She jumped in to try to find it on the other side or somewhere else. I uh… couldn’t follow and uh…” Dogaressa was openly going against what the note said, she hadn’t even seen it. What if Papyrus got in trouble because of that? Hopefully they’d punish Dogamy instead since it was Dogaressa hunting for them. Gosh, what a horrible thought to have, the dogs wouldn’t deserve that. But… Sans was selfish, he’d rather have Dogamy get hurt than Papyrus.

“All right,” Alphys said. “I’m on my way over to you now. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”


	54. Alphys

Sans knew Alphys had arrived even before she walked into the room. Her shouting, probably at Muffet or maybe at all the people at the bar, was audible through the door. Her exact words were indecipherable but it was obvious she was not in a good mood. It went on for a few seconds before the door opened and she strode in.

“If let him get drunk I’m going to fucking kill you,” she was saying to Muffet who was walking in behind her.

“I already told you I didn’t give him any alcohol,” Muffet replied with a frown, crossing all four of her arms in obvious annoyance.

“Yeah, and I don’t trust you. But Sans,” Alphys focused on Sans, walking over to stand in front of him. “I… fuck… you okay?”

No of course not, why would she even bother asking that right now? “She didn’t give me anything to drink, nothing alcoholic anyway,” he said instead of answering.

Alphys groaned. “Okay, all right, that’s good.” She clapped her hands together, visibly holding in her frustration and anger.

“What was the meeting with the Queen about?” Sans asked.

Alphys shot a glance towards Muffet, an unspoken request for her to leave. She didn’t though, so Alphys sighed and turned back towards Sans. “One of her filthy spies found out about the stolen magic blocker and told her about it. She was _very_ upset with me over it, mostly because I didn’t report it to her right away. But this way she’s more mad at me than she is at Undyne, which is what I wanted. She also now knows about your fight against Burgerpants’ gang and how you destroyed the magic blocker. And she _demands_ that we get the people who stole it as soon as possible. Now tell me _exactly_ what happened with Papyrus.”

“When I got home he wasn’t there and this was on his bed.” Sans pulled out the balled-up piece of paper with the gang’s ultimatum written on it.

Alphys accepted it and smoothed it out. Muffet read it too, looking over her shoulder. Muffet’s face remained controlled and expressionless but Alphys, already angry, started to look even madder.

“God fucking damn it,” she said with a growl. “I’m so fucking sorry Sans, just… goddamn it.”

“Also,” Sans took a deep breath, trying to maintain at least some level of anger about this to combat the feelings of despair threatening to take over. “They called using his phone a little bit before you called. They said that they would… start to… cut off parts of him and send me the dust if we kept looking for him. And uh… they want you to pardon them and let them go free into the Capital to disappear, they said they’d let him go if you did.”

During the short silence that followed his words Sans didn’t look at either of them. The thought of that being done to Papyrus simultaneously made him want to curl up in despair and obliterate every last one of them. He _couldn’t_ let it happen.

“I… would maybe consider doing that if I could,” Alphys said. “But… I can’t, the Queen wouldn’t allow it. And there’s also a chance they wouldn’t follow through on their end of the bargain. But here’s what we’ll do, we’ll go down to Undyne’s lab and try to call them back. She has a phone tracking thingy that’ll help us find their location, as long as they answer anyway and stay on for however fucking long the thing takes.”

“Okay.” Sans nodded, standing. Finally, he had something he could do to start looking for Papyrus.

“All right let’s do that, afterwards we’ll try to get in touch with Dogaressa,” Alphys said. “But Muffet, remember to call me if that person shows up in your bar again. And yes, I’ll fucking pay you for it so don’t even fucking ask.”

“Don’t worry I’ll call,” Muffet replied with a serious expression.

“Good, let’s go Sans.” Alphys started walking towards the door, gesturing for him to follow.

“Thanks again for deciding to help save Papyrus, and for uh… being nice and stuff,” Sans whispered to Muffet before running to catch up with Alphys as she walked through the door.

Out in the bar, there were a lot more people than earlier. Not surprisingly, pretty much all of them turned to follow Alphys’ progress, and thus Sans’ too, as they made their way through the bar. Sans tried not to pay any attention to them, they didn’t even care about him so he shouldn’t be afraid of their regard, as he walked as close to Alphys as he could without it appearing like he was trying to hide behind her. Alphys however, didn’t even seem to notice them as she strode right past them and out into cold Snowdin air with Sans on her heels.

They walked in silence, Alphys going even faster than normal. Sans struggled to keep up, he was _so_ tired and starting to feel a little lightheaded. It was evening and he hadn’t eaten since earlier that morning. He wasn’t going to complain though about either of those things.

After a little while however, Alphys slowed her pace. She didn’t say anything about Sans dragging her down though, just kept walking without even acknowledging that she’d slowed. Sans sighed with relief even knowing she was no doubt annoyed with him for how weak and slow he was. But it didn’t matter right now as long as she’d slowed down.

As they walked they passed by the house. Sans skidded to a halt. “Alphys,” he said, pulling her to a stop too, “Before we go to Undyne’s lab I need to board up the back door to the house.” He should’ve done it a lot sooner but he hadn’t even thought about it this whole time. Hopefully no one else had broken in in the meantime. “They… broke it when they forced their way in and I uh… haven’t fixed it yet.”

“’Kay, I’ll help.” Alphys shrugged. “But let’s make it fast.”

Sans almost told her she didn’t need to do that, it was his house therefore his problem, but her help would make it go faster. Which was no doubt why she’d offered. “Of course,” he said instead, pulling out his key.

Inside, he was relieved to see that nothing was missing and there were no signs of anyone else’s presence. Later they would have to fix the door properly, or Papyrus would since he was the one who knew how to do stuff like that, not to mention Sans wasn’t even tall enough to reach to top of the door. For now though, they’d board it up so no one could get in.

It didn’t take long with Alphys help, she’d had to board up her share of broken windows and doors so she knew what she was doing. They even did it for the back fence too. Afterward they went back outside and started walking towards Undyne’s lab again.

“Does Undyne know what happened to Papyrus?” Sans asked after a while.

“Not yet, so we’re gonna have to tell her when we get there,” Alphys replied. “But uh… I’m sorry that meeting with the Queen went on for so long. I… can’t even imagine what it must’ve been like when you discovered Papyrus was kidnapped. We’ll get him back though, so don’t worry about him.”

“I know and we’ll _kill_ them for hurting him.” Sans growled, gripping a hand onto his sword’s hilt as if he were about to draw it. He’d chop them into little pieces or blast them to bits with his Blasters, maybe both. So, they would pay, Sans would make sure of it.


	55. Tracker

“Oh, what you guys doing here?” Undyne asked as they walked into her lab. From the look of things, she’d been about to leave.

“Papyrus was kidnapped by the fuckwit street thug gang,” Alphys said. “They have his phone and we’re gonna try to call it, so we need your phone tracking thing.”

Undyne went rigid. “R-really?”

“Yeah,” Sans said. “We’re going to save him. We need to find where they took him first though.”

“Okay, yeah, c-come on.” She nodded as she stiffly turned to walk back into the lab, gesturing for them to follow. “W-what happened?”

Sans told her the same thing he’d told Alphys, even handing the note to her so she could read it for herself before he told her about their call.

“T-that’s… fuck,” she said, stopping at her computer. “I can’t b-believe… A-are you okay Sans?”

“No.” Why would anyone bother asking at this point? The answer was more than obvious.

“Y-yeah of c-course.” Undyne turned and began fumbling around with her computer. After she’d gotten it rebooted up, she plugged some kind of two-sided wire into it. “Plug y-your phone into this.” She held the other end towards Sans. “The only way it’ll work though is if they answer and y-you can keep them on for about a minute.”

Sans grabbed it and pulled out his phone to plug it in. He had no idea what he could say to keep them on the line for a whole minute but he’d think of something.

Undyne and Alphys leaned in a bit closer as he dialed Papyrus’ number. Each ring seemed to increase the tension in the air until it eventually reached voice mail. Sans hung up and tried again. They’d answer eventually, right? To see what he wanted. But they didn’t. In fact, after the fifth try, it started going straight to voicemail, they’d turned the phone off.

“Fuck, goddam it.” Alphys growled. “We’ll try again tomorrow. I’ll try to get a hold of Dogaressa for now, see if she’s found them or their trail. If I can’t, I’ll send someone to go look for her.” She stepped away, pulling out her own cell phone.

Sans sighed as he unplugged his phone and put it away once more. He slumped onto the officer chair. He was _so_ tired. “Fucking shit,” he growled, drawing back a little of his anger over his exhaustion.

“I-I’m sorry.” Undyne fidgeted with the sleeves of her lab coat. “I’m sure Paps is okay.” She didn’t sound completely sure of that. “He’s r-really strong, he can hold out until we’re able to save him.”

“What if…” Sans eyes flooded with tears again, he bowed his head and lifted a hand to his forehead to try to hide it. He shouldn’t be thinking about this or what might be happening to Papyrus in general but it was hard not to. “…What if they… rape him?”

There were a few seconds of stunned silence before she replied. “Oh, t-that’s… I’m s-sure they won’t. T-they’re…”

“That’s what they wanted to do to me when they attacked us. They… they wanted to… fuck me in his dust. That’s why they didn’t kill me because they could have. So, they _could_ do it to him. And they _might_.” They could even be doing it right now. And if they were, there was _nothing_ Sans could do to stop it.

“Oh gosh S-Sans that’s… I’m s-sure they won’t.” Undyne was just saying that to make him feel better. It didn’t work.

“What’s wrong?”

Sans looked up at as Alphys returned. “They were planning to rape me, remember? They have Papyrus now, what if they… rape him? I _know_ how _awful_ that is so… I _can’t_ let that happen but… I can’t _do_ anything about either. And… what if they… break him like I was broken?” What if they raped his soul and forced him to comply and beg for it? What if…

“No, Sans.” Alphys clapped both her hands onto his shoulders, forcing him to look her directly in the face. “ _Don’t_ think like that. Think instead about how much you’re going to make them _pay_ for hurting Papyrus and kidnapping him. You’re going to _destroy_ them for daring to hurt your brother. You’ll make them regret ever messing with either of you two, okay?”

Sans nodded. “O-okay.” That was hard though when he was so tired and worried. Papyrus was the only person who could make him feel better but he wasn’t here.

“Say it Sans,” Alphys said. “Tell me all the horrible things you’re going to do to them for daring to cross you and hurting your brother.”

This was stupid, what was she trying to accomplish by making him voice what could only be empty threats until he was actually in a position to do anything to them? He took a deep breath before he began. “I’m… going to kill them. I’ll make them pay. I’ll… do to them what I did to Doggo. I’ll stab them over and over again until they dust. Only it’ll be worse, I’ll… skin them alive first.” Sans gripped onto his sword again. “If they… hurt Papyrus like that I’ll fuck them with my sword.” He would too. If they touched Papyrus like that Sans would give them a taste of their own medicine. They would _deserve_ it.

“There,” Alphys clapped on a hand on his shoulder again. “You feel better now?”

“Sort of.” Sans’ hand trembled from how hard he clutched the sword’s hilt. If Burgerpants and Nicecream or any of their gang were here right now he’d be chopping them into bits.

“Good,” Alphys said. “I’ve sent a couple Guards from Waterfall and Hotland over to Snowdin to look for Dogaressa because she’s not answering her phone. I sent three extra to keep an eye on the place in general. Which leaves Waterfall a little undermanned but there’s not a whole lot I can do about that until we have all this shit sorted out.”

“W-what do we do while we w-wait for the r-report on Dogaressa?” Undyne asked. She was wringing her shirt front in her hands.

“There really not a whole lot when can do. Especially considering their demands, we can’t risk angering them right now. But the temporary Guards I sent over are all mammals, including the ones looking for Dogaressa. I’ve instructed them to contact me as soon as possible if they happen across anything that even sort of smells like the fuckwit gang, Papyrus, or the dogs.”

“So, we can’t do anything?” Sans let out a frustrated growl. He’d _just_ gotten done not being able to do anything and now he was stuck again. But… they couldn’t do anything if they didn’t know where the ‘fuckwit gang’ was. And they couldn’t find them without a scent trail to follow or any other kind of lead. And Papyrus’ wellbeing was threatened if they did. So, they _were_ stuck right now. “ _Fuck_.” He kicked an empty soda can that was lying nearby on the floor hard enough that it skidded almost all the way to the other side of the lab.

“I know, I’m not happy about it either,” Alphys said. “So, here’s what we’re gonna for now, Undyne, you’re going to send all the security camera footage from Snowdin today over to my office. I’ve already instructed my usual people to be ready to go over it and analyze it for any clue about the stuff that happened today and where the fuckwit gang might’ve come from and where they could’ve gone. I doubt they’ll find anything because they didn’t last time but we need to cover all out bases. If they do find something though they’ll contact me immediately. As for us three, for tonight as least why don’t we all have a sleepover at Undyne’s place? Me and her we’re planning to have one soon anyway.”

“So, we’re just gonna not do anything?” Sans _needed_ to do something. He couldn’t just sit around and wait while Papyrus was in trouble.

“When we get there we’re gonna have supper.”

“I can’t.” Sans couldn’t eat until Papyrus was with him again. Except that was stupid. He was already starting to feel weak from not having eaten for so long and he would need to keep up his strength if he wanted to save Papyrus.

“You can and you will,” Alphys said. “Because you probably haven’t eaten anything since breakfast, right?” She pointed a finger at him and he reluctantly nodded. “You _need_ to eat then. We’ll give you as much room and privacy as you need for whatever eating problem thingy you have, I promise. So, you _will_ eat, understood?”

“Yeah, understood.” Sans nodded, hanging his head. He’d have to figure out a way to deal with his problem that didn’t involve Papyrus. It was going to suck. “But uh… can I ask why we’re all sleeping over at Undyne’s?”

“Because,” Alphys said. “I don’t want to leave her alone right now. Papyrus is one of her few friends, she’s worried about him and she’s going to try to blame herself for this. And I know you are too. I won’t allow it because none of this shit is either of your faults so don’t even fucking try it because I am _not_ in mood for it right now. And no ‘but’s Sans.” She cut him off even before he could open his mouth to try to explain how it _was_ his fault. “If you think I won’t slap you for being stupid because you’re my friend you have another thing coming, especially today. Same goes for you Undyne, just ‘cause you’re taller doesn’t mean I can’t find a way to slap you if you try to blame yourself for the fuckwit gang’s actions, ‘kay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Undyne said, nodding.

“Good, let’s go.” Alphys started walking as usual not checking to see if they were following. “Also, Sans you’re not to leave my side until we rescue Papyrus, ‘kay? As much as is reasonable anyway.”

“Okay.” Sans could live with that. She knew what to do and would keep him focused on his anger about this situation instead of his despair.

The pace Alphys set off at was way too fast but she quickly slowed, again not making any comment about Sans’ inability to keep up with her. She didn’t even send him an annoyed look. He needed to stop being so weak and tired but that was hard.

By the time they got to Undyne’s house night was falling as the street lights dimmed to replicate a day/night cycle. Sans didn’t like being out in the dark, never had. Nighttime was dangerous because it made it harder to see. Despite that though any time someone suggested keeping the lights bright all the time they were shut down. The reasons stated were always about saving power or that’s how it’s always been so don’t change it. But the real reason was that was how they kept track of time passing, unending day would erase the fragile illusion that they weren’t stuck down here forever, that the concept of day and night could hold any meaning whatsoever to people who had never seen the sun and never would.

Sans collapsed onto the couch as soon as they were inside, not even waiting for an invite to do so. His less than positive thoughts had dragged his mood down even further. Enough that even unlatching his armor for comfort’s sake was a chore, one that he wouldn’t have been able to accomplish if wasn’t worried about what Alphys or Undyne might say.

“I guess you’re sleeping on the couch then?” Undyne asked.

Sans nodded as he grunted noncommittedly, placing the armor to the side of the couch and laying the sword and scabbard across his front to hold onto it. “Can I sleep now?”

“No, you need to eat first,” Alphys said. “So, sit up.”

Sans groaned but forced himself into a sitting position. He lay the sword across his lap, holding it made him feel safer. “I don’t wanna eat.” His hunger felt distant and unimportant compared to his exhaustion and worry for Papyrus.

“I know but you _need_ to,” Alphys said. “When you do though you can eat in whatever room you want and we’ll give you as much time and space as you need for whatever your eating thing is, okay?”

Sans nodded, unable to stop himself from shaking a little. How was he going to deal with it without Papyrus? Would he end up touching himself again like a disgusting whore?

“O-okay,” Undyne said, “I’ll go make f-food, you guys can sit here and w-watch anime for a bit.”


	56. Ropes

“You better hope your bro does as we say or we get to start cutting pieces off.” Burgerpants’ predatory grin suggested he hoped he’d get a chance to do that as he flipped out a knife and ran its edge against Papyrus’ cheekbone.

Papyrus growled, pushing past the pain he was in to glare at Burgerpants with all the hate in his body. After hanging up on Sans Burgerpants had dragged him back into the small room where Dogamy still lay unconscious in the corner.

“Ha, you’re not scary anymore pal.” Burgerpants scoffed. “Neither is your damn brother.”

“That’s easy to say when Sans ain’t here and I’m beat to half death _and_ tied up.” Papyrus should probably be a lot more afraid than he was, he was at Burgerpants’ mercy after all. But with his anger at them and worry for Sans he didn’t have enough room left in his soul for fear.

“Whatever, I’ll be back later, probably to cut off the first piece if your bro is as stupid as he looks.”

Papyrus growled as Burgerpants straightened and left the room. The locking mechanism in the door made an audible click once it shut behind it him. Great, another obstacle to get past once Papyrus got free of his restraints.

But now that he was alone, other than for Dogamy, he let himself slump in exhaustion. If it not for how much pain he was in, he might’ve fallen asleep right away if not very soon. But now wasn’t the time to sleep anyway, or wallow in pain and misery. He had to find a way out of this.

Sans had said he’d save him, that _hopefully_ wouldn’t be necessary. But it had been comforting to hear, it meant Sans wasn’t emotionally crippled by these events and was at least sort of holding himself together. He of course, was no doubt very upset but Alphys should hopefully be able to help him through this until Papyrus got free.

He took a deep breath as he forced himself to sit a bit straighter. “Dogamy,” he said, raising his voice. “Wake up.”

No response, not even an eye twitch. Hopefully he wasn’t hurt too bad, Papyrus would probably need his help to get out of here. He was certainly bleeding from somewhere though, a small pool of blood leaked out from underneath him. It looked dry though so hopefully he wasn’t still bleeding.

When a few more commands to wake up didn’t work, Papyrus prepared himself to move over to him. The distance could’ve easily been closed in a stride or two if he’d been both standing and able to walk. Instead he had to do an awkward shuffle that involved him using his bound legs to push himself backwards. It _hurt_ , every time he moved his injured leg it flared with renewed pain. He could feel it bleeding again too, so were some of his other injuries, soaking the bandages. Which, was _really_ bad with his already low magic levels. There was nothing he could do about that though.

By the time his bound hands bumped into Dogamy’s side he was feeling almost like he might pass out. Part of him wanted to too, to escape the pain. But he fought it as he pushed at Dogamy’s body for a long while until he heard a startled growl that signaled he’d awoken at last.

“’Kay, Dogamy can ya hear me?” he asked. His reply came as a muffled whine of course but it had to be mean ‘yes’. “I need your help to get us get outta here. Can ya use magic? I’m kinda… a bit weak right now.”

There was a long pause before Dogamy whined. It sounded like a negative and considering the fact that nothing was happening it seemed he couldn’t use magic right now either. Whether that was because he was too weak to as well or because of some drug or something they’d given him, or something else was impossible to tell.

“’Kay, I’ll uh try to untie your hands then,” Papyrus said. If he could untie Dogamy, Dogamy could untie him, giving them a much better chance of being able to defend themselves if they needed to.

Papyrus scooted a little bit until his bound hands found Dogamy’s. He’d never been good at picking apart knots, trying to do it with his hands tied behind his back made it even harder. He couldn’t even see what he was doing and he was tired and in so much pain.

He was maybe starting to get somewhere when the door burst open again. He tried to scramble away to hide what he’d been doing but it was no use as Burgerpants strode in. He didn’t look mad though, in fact he looked exceedingly pleased with himself, which could never be a good thing for most everyone else.

“Guess what?” he said. He was holding something behind his back. And through the still open door several others could be seen with eager grins as they crowded around to watch whatever was happening.

“What?” Papyrus forced himself to sound angry instead of fearful. What if the reason Burgerpants looked so smug was because something had happened to Sans?

“Somebody didn’t follow the instructions in the note we left.” He grinned wide as he revealed what was hidden behind his back, a box filled with snow and… dust. “They were getting a bit too close to our hideout though so we had to take them out. They were too single minded to notice our ambush until it was too late.”

Papyrus’ soul went cold. It _couldn’t_ be Sans’ dust, could it? That would be… No way, it couldn’t be true. But what if it was?

Burgerpants laughed at whatever he saw on Papyrus’ face. “Wanna guess who it is? Or _was_.”

A broken whine came from behind Papyrus. It sounded like Dogamy was crying. He had a superior sense of smell, he’d be able to smell who’s dust it was even from here, right? And if he was crying that meant it could only be Dogaressa which would mean it _wasn’t_ Sans.

“D-Dogaressa,” he said, feeling guilty for the note of hope in his voice. Dogamy was _right_ there, the last thing he needed was Papyrus feeling… grateful that it had been his mate who’d died and not Sans. But considering the fact that Burgerpants had both decided to show them and was disgustedly gleeful about, it could only be either Sans or Dogaressa.

“Yep, you win,” Burgerpants said. “Bet you’re grateful it ain’t Sans, huh? Oh, as funny as your reaction would’ve been we kinda need him alive right now to convince Alphys to let us go free. And there’s no way he would’ve found us, he’s too weak and pathetic.”

Papyrus growled as Burgerpants approached, still holding the box filled with melting snow and dust. He stopped when he stood next to Papyrus and… dumped the contents of the box onto Dogamy who was still whining pathetically. “That’s what you get for you two causing us so much goddam trouble over the years. Your life is forfeit now though. Maybe we should kill you and send your dust to Sans to make sure he knows we’re serious. It’s not like there’s anyone left alive who cares about you.”

“Don’t you _dare_.” Papyrus growled. Not only did Dogamy not deserve that but Sans didn’t need to be scared like that either.

“Calm down, we haven’t decided if we’re gonna do it yet or if there’s a better use for him now.” He dropped the box. “But since you two suddenly wanna be all close and personal I’m gonna have to separate you.” He bent down and grabbed Papyrus’ bound wrists again then dragged him all the way to the other side of the room. He then turned towards the door where people were still standing, watching the proceedings. “Someone bring me some more rope.”

Not even five seconds passed before someone tossed him another length of rope. He caught it, then ignoring Papyrus’ attempts to resist and angry swearing, he looped it the metal loop in the wall that had obviously used to hold a chain and the turned Papyrus around to tie it around his forearms, above where his wrists were tied together.

Burgerpants stepped back and dusted his hands off. “We’ll feed you guys tomorrow morning since we don’t want ya starving to death.”

“Really? Ya gonna feed us by hand?” There was no way they were dumb enough to unbind Papyrus and Dogamy’s hands.

“I’m not going to but someone else will. So, see ya then.” He gave a small wave before exiting, the lock clicking shut behind him once more.

Papyrus sagged in exhaustion and defeat. His eyes drifted back towards Dogamy.

Covered in mostly melted snow and the dust of his mate he was understandably still crying, loud pathetic whimpers escaping through his bound muzzle as he trembled visibly. It felt wrong to see him in such a private moment of grief and despair.

“I’m sorry,” Papyrus said, averting his gaze. There was nothing he could say to make Dogamy feel better. Even if the type of relationship was different Papyrus still knew what it felt like to lose the most important person in his life, only he’d been lucky that Sans hadn’t actually been dead and thus eventually reunited with him. There was no chance of Dogamy having the same luck, he was literally covered in his mate’s dust. So, there was nothing that could be done or said to help him feel better about it, not for a long time, if ever. Assuming he even got out of this alive.


	57. Eating Problem

Sans stared despondently down at food on the plate in his hands, poking it with a fork. Undyne had made some sort of casserole that he’d never heard of before. It looked good and it smelled good, making him aware of just how hungry he was. But… he still didn’t want to eat it, not when Papyrus wasn’t around to help him wait out and distract him from his problem afterward.

He was seated on the edge of the bed in Undyne’s guest room. He’d still be sleeping on the couch later tonight even though they’d both said they’d let him sleep in here if he wanted to. But it was right next to Undyne’s room while the living room was further down the hall. He’d be much less likely to be overheard having a nightmare out there. For now though, he needed a private room to eat in and then… wait out his problem afterward all by himself.

He groaned as he forced himself to start eating. If he didn’t eat he would be too tired and starved to be able to save Papyrus. So, he would just have to suck it up and deal with it. He forced himself to eat slow though despite his first instinct being to shovel it all down because of how hungry he was. It tasted good at least, he’d have to ask Undyne for the recipe later. He didn’t make casseroles very often, maybe he should try to expand a little in the kinds of foods he cooked.

Shortly after he’d finished his magic formed in his pelvis. It might be less strong than it used to be, maybe. He couldn’t tell and it might only be his imagination or wishful thinking. Either way he still couldn’t get it to dispel.

He whimpered, pressing his knees together as tears filled his eyes. “Why?” He had _much_ more important things to worry about right now, _why_ did he have to put up with this too? “Please okay Pappy, please,” he whispered.

What if… they tried to condition Papyrus to be like this too? They wouldn’t, would they? They weren’t planning on keeping him forever. Meaning they’d… fuck him as much as they wanted without any care for his health. At least Sans’ captor had been careful not to physically damage him most of the time, he’d been carrying its eggs and was its permanent sex toy and breeding tool after all, so that made sense. Papyrus’ captors wouldn’t have much reason to be gentle with him. And he was already badly injured too so…

“Stop!” Sans pressed his hands to the sides of his head. He could _not_ afford to think about stuff like that, it would destroy his ability to function. And he was going to _save_ Papyrus so he had to focus on that. He could worry about everything else once Papyrus was safe.

He needed a distraction both from his arousal and his dark thoughts. Sitting and waiting for it to go away had never worked so he wouldn’t even try it and he was _not_ going to touch himself. So, he needed to find something to distract himself with. There was nothing in the room though except of the bed, empty closest, and bare bedside table.

He placed the plate on the night stand and stood up before pulling the blanket off the bed. He wrapped it around himself to hide any possibility of the glow of his magic being visible through his pants. He was taking _no_ chances.

He took a deep breath as he walked towards the door and opened it, his hand shaking hard enough to make the doorknob rattle. “Alphys,” he called down the hall.

“Yeah?” came her immediate answer as she appeared at the end of it.

He almost flinched back into the room as she started walking down it. “Don’t look at me,” he said. “I just want to talk, please don’t… look at me.” It was stupid, there was no way she’d be able to figure it out from looking at him when he was covered by the blanket and hiding behind the door. But he’d still feel better if she didn’t see him at all.

“Okay, I’m not looking.” She lifted her hands to cover her eyes. “See, I’m not gonna look at you. What do you need?”

Sans let out a sigh relief, she was not only doing as asked but not questioning it or even acting as if it were at all weird. “I need a distraction, like… a board game or something. Only it has to be something I can play by myself.”

She thought for a few seconds, her hands remaining over his eyes. “How ‘bout solitaire? If you know how to play that, I know Undyne has a deck of cards.”

Sans hadn’t played solitaire in ages but he did know how to play because Papyrus had taught him when he was a kid in an attempt to give him something to do to entertain himself when Papyrus had to leave him alone for one reason or another. It had worked for a time until he’d gotten bored of it.

“Yeah, that’ll work,” he said. If he couldn’t remember how to play he could still just mess around with the cards to distract himself.

“All right. Close the door and I’ll go find the cards and open it just enough to stick them through.”

“All right, thanks,” he said before closing the door.

He stood there for a little while, his magic burning uncomfortably in his pelvis until it opened again, just a crack. Alphys’ hand poked through, holding a pack of playing cards. “Thank you,” he said again as he accepted it.

“No problem buddy,” Alphys said. “Come out whenever you’re done with whatever you need to do.” The door closed.

Sans stepped a few paces away from the door and sat on the floor. He could sit on the bed but he didn’t want to. He then splayed out the cards onto the floor in front of him and began sitting up a game of solitaire.

“It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay,” he whispered to himself. “You can do this, it’ll be fine.”

As he played he kept whispering things like that to himself. And in the end it took longer than when he played chess with Papyrus but he still got through it and his arousal faded and magic went away.

He let out a sigh of relief as he gathered up the cards and placed them back in their pack. Then he stood up and put the blanket back on the bed, tucking it in and making it nice and neat the way it had been when he’d first gotten in here. He grabbed the dirty plate off the night stand and exited.

“Thank you, guys for uh… everything,” he said as he walked into the living room where Undyne and Alphys were watching anime. He handed the pack of cards to Undyne. “Especially for not questioning me about… all that. I know it probably seems really… weird.” And stupid. “So, thanks for not… asking about it.”

“D-don’t worry about it,” Undyne said.

“Yeah,” Alphys said. “It’s a private personal thing, only you and Papyrus need to know about it, we don’t.”

 

A short while later after Sans had cleaned his plate and they’d sat and watched anime for a little while, it was time to go to bed. They’d do more to search for Papyrus tomorrow.

Before heading to the couch though, Sans dared himself to peek into the backyard. He couldn’t see much through the small crack in the door but he couldn’t hear anything, so the babies were probably asleep, right?

“T-they should be asleep by now,” Undyne said from behind him. “You c-can probably go out and see them without waking them if y-your quiet enough.”

Did Sans want to go see them? He’d already visited earlier today. He should’ve stayed home with Papyrus instead but that wasn’t the babies’ fault, it had been a choice he’d made so it was his. But did he want to go see them now? Visiting when they were sleeping wouldn’t be too bad, would it? But he was already _so_ tired.

“Tomorrow morning, I’ll… visit with them early tomorrow before we start doing stuff.” He stepped back and shut the door.

“T-that should be okay.”

“Goodnight then, I guess. Tomorrow we’ll… save Pappy or at least get on the right track.” Hopefully anyway, Sans wouldn’t be able to handle sitting around and waiting for news or anything else for long. But with the gang’s threat they had to move carefully.

When they found those bastards though Sans was going to make them pay. He’d wreak unholy vengeance upon them… starting tomorrow. For now, he needed sleep. But… he would undoubtedly have a nightmare and Papyrus wouldn’t be there to comfort him when he woke up or wake him from it before it got too bad.

“’Night t-then,” Undyne said before turning to head down the hall. Alphys had already gone to bed a little while ago.

Sans headed back to the couch, sighing as he lifted the borrowed blanket to crawl underneath it. He reached towards the floor to pick up his sword inside its scabbard. After making sure the peace loop was in place, he drew it up underneath the blanket with him to hold his chest while he slept, almost hugging it.

Maybe it would appear in his nightmare and he could defend himself with it. Doubtful, and even if it did a sword would be useless against something the size of the tentacle monster even in a dream. But it made him feel a tiny bit safer anyway.


	58. Just a Dream

_“Pappy!” Sans’ voice echoed in the nearly lightless cave. His only answer was the burbling of the dark river he was running beside. He had to save Papyrus, he_ had _to, before it was too late. So, he kept running even as he felt malevolent eyes tracking him from the river’s seemingly bottomless depths._

_“Pappy, where are you?” His voice echoed back to him accompanied by the river. “P-” He cut off with a strangled yelp as a tentacle wrapped around his leg, yanking him into the freezing cold river._

_He was pulled deep under before being lifted again, emerging from the water with a splash. Dangling upside down by his ankle, he turned towards his captor. “Please, please, let me save Pappy, please,” he begged, tears forming in his eyes._

_His captor giggled as it drew him closer to lay his naked body down in front of itself. “It’s already too late though. They’re already fucking him, you know that. And it’s your fault. If you weren’t such a broken whore they wouldn’t have ever thought to attack you two in the first place. But hey, on the bright side you’ll both be broken sex toys once they’re done with him.”_

_“No, no, I’ll save him.” But that wouldn’t undo anything done to him by his captors. So, Sans had to save him as soon as possible which meant he had to get away._

_He stood and ran. He didn’t even get three steps before a tentacle wrapped around his ankle and yanked him back. He clawed and scrabbled at the ground as it slid him closer still._

_“Where do you think you’re going?” it said. “This is your home now. You deserve it after leaving your very own brother all alone to get kidnapped by a bunch of rapists.”_

_Sans whimpered and sobbed as he was turned around to face his captor once more. This time the tentacles didn’t let go of him, they held him, restraining him and forcing his legs apart. He couldn’t do anything as they explored his bare bones, touching him in all the ways it knew would make him feel good._

_“Now summon a cunt for me like a good pet.”_

_Sans’ body and magic obeyed, forming into a pussy just for it. He was already wet too because why wouldn’t he be? It had trained him well. A tentacle rose out of the water and pushed into his waiting pussy. He whimpered wriggling and squirming as it slid in, stopping halfway in as magic tendrils grew off it to latch it into place._

_“Please let me at least_ try _to save Pappy,” he begged._

_“I already told you it’s too late, silly. But it’s just a few eggs, you’ll be fine.”_

_The first egg was already coming down the ovipositor. Sans could only watch in mute misery as it made its way towards him. It entered, stretching his magic and then exiting the tube, gelatinous and gross against the walls of his pussy. His magic expanded to accept it and it settled in his womb. Where else would an egg go?_

_“I’m sorry Pappy, I’m sorry.” He had been supposed to be taking care of Papyrus but he’d_ failed _. Anything bad that happened to Papyrus as a result was Sans’ fault._

_He whimpered, going limp as the second egg entered, quickly joining its sibling inside him. The first two of many and he couldn’t do anything about it._

_A tentacle pet over his belly, a loving caress, as the third egg entered. “You’re so cute like this, don’t you think?” it said, speaking to him as if he were a child that had just done something adorable._

_Sans didn’t reply as he sat there, watching the next egg push into him. And he stayed silent no matter how it taunted or prompted him as his belly grew a little bit with each egg. Eventually he was big and round with all the eggs packed inside. Its tentacles kept petting over his belly, which felt good, but still he didn’t say anything or make a single move._

_And eventually when his belly reached a familiar size… it stopped. Its tentacle pulled out and his magic dispelled, sealing the eggs safely inside his womb. But he stayed silent even as it scooped him up to cradle him, gently caressing his pregnant belly. Struggling wouldn’t do him any good so he didn’t bother, hanging limp instead._

_“Sans!”_

_Sans flinched at the angry tone, turning his head to see Papyrus. He looked beat up and was limping, his clothes were torn and ragged maybe like they’d been ripped off him._

_“Pappy I’m sorry I…”_

_“You left me to get kidnapped so you could_ this _?” Papyrus cut him off._

_“No Pappy, I had no choice, it…”_

_“You fucking_ failed _me, everything that happened is_ your _fault. After all I’ve done for you the least you could’ve done is be there for me for once. But instead you sit around and do_ this _.” He gestured in disgust towards Sans’ egg filled belly. “You disgust me.” He turned around and began limping away. Right, because he was too injured and low on magic to teleport._

_Sans twisted his body as he reached desperately for him, not caring if he rolled out of the tentacles’ gentle grip on him. “Pappy, please no I…”_

Something rattled underneath him as he landed face down on carpet. He whimpered, his face wet with tears, as he pushed himself up. He drew in breath to scream for Papyrus but bit down on it. Papyrus wouldn’t be able to even hear it let alone answer it. He’d been kidnapped and was now at the mercy of Burgerpants and Nicecream’s gang.

“It was… just a dream, it wasn’t real.” Saying that didn’t make him feel any better about it. Even if Papyrus would never in a million years say it, Dream Papyrus had been right Sans had failed Papyrus. He’d been supposed to take care of Papyrus for once, keep him safe and care for him the way Papyrus always did for him, but he’d _failed_.

“I’m s-sorry Pappy, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He clutched the sword to himself as he curled up, sobbing all alone in the darkness.

But… crying and sobbing like this over a damn dream wasn’t going to help Papyrus. Yeah, Sans had fucked up but it was time to fix it, he could hate himself and be depressed later, _after_ Papyrus was saved.

So, taking a deep breath, he forced himself sit up. He leaned back the couch and held his sword to his chest, its point resting on the floor between his legs. He was safer with it and he had his Blasters back, could probably even do something with his bone attacks if he were in the right kind of situation. So, he wasn’t helpless anymore. He could and would fight to save Papyrus.

He closed his eyes and titled his head back, forcing himself to breathe deeply and calmly as he could, like how he’d started doing those times when Alphys had forced himself to deal with his issues by himself instead of calling for Papyrus to come and coddle him. He was still crying though, pretty much no force in the world could make him stop right away after having a dream like that.

“It’s okay, it was just a dream, it wasn’t real,” he whispered as he gripped the sword tight. Things like that were what Papyrus whispered to him when comforting him after waking him from a nightmare. If it worked when Papyrus said it, why wouldn’t it work when he told himself?

And Papyrus would never ever say anything like he had in the dream, wouldn’t even think it. It had just been Sans' own self blame putting those words in his mouth. Also, there was no way to know for sure if the gang was raping him. There was very real possibility that they were too caught up in worrying about getting out of the hole they’d dug themselves into to have considered that yet. Which was one of the many reasons why Papyrus needed to be saved as soon as possible. So, Sans couldn’t afford to be a selfish whiny crybaby. He _had_ to save Papyrus, no other option existed.

After a long while his tears slowed and then eventually stopped. He felt drained and empty, like he'd cried out everything he had in him, but also maybe a little proud of himself too? He’d dealt the aftermath of a _bad_ nightmare without…

He lifted a hand to rub the scars on his wrist. _Last_ time he’d had a dream anywhere close to that bad and woken up alone he’d tried to kill himself, had almost succeeded too. This meant he’d made some progress, right? Yeah, it did. Now if only he could run and tell Papyrus about it.

Maybe he should get up and at least move to the couch. But the thought of moving seemed like it would destroy the almost peaceful clam that had settled over him. And besides, it was too much too work. He could sit here and relax for a bit longer before figuring out how he was supposed to go back sleep, hopefully without another nightmare. He would _not_ be able to handle that.


	59. Text Message

Sans’ phone chimed, pulling him back to full wakefulness as he’d been starting to drift off. That was the sound his phone made when he got a text message. Who would be texting him in the middle of the night? And was it worth the effort to get up, go over there, and find out? Probably.

With a grunt, he pushed himself to his feet and headed over, ignoring the stiffness in his bones caused by sitting still for so long. He unplugged the phone from its charger and sat on the couch, laying his sword across his lap. A push of a button gotten the screen to light up again, blinding in the darkness. A couple more button presses turned the light down so he could read the text.

‘ _When you can, come back down to my bar. Bring Alphys. -Muffet_ ’

Assuming it really was Muffet, how had she gotten his number? And more importantly why would she text him in the middle of the night to go back to the bar? He dialed the number the text was from.

It only rang twice before it was answered. “Sans dear, what you doing up so late?” Yep, that was Muffet’s voice. “You should be sleeping.”

“How’d you get my number?” He kept his tone neutral, not that he was capable of much else right now.

“I memorized it off Papyrus’ phone a while ago in case I ever needed to get in contact with you. But…”

“Papyrus let you look at his phone?” Sans interrupted.

“Well, he was too drunk at the time to say much about it, so I was calling you to come take him home because he was about to get into a barfight with someone over something that was most likely stupid. That was the first time anyway, it was a while ago, I’m glad your number hasn’t changed.”

Yeah, that was a thing that had used to happen, Papyrus getting drunk and Muffet calling Sans to come and get him to take him home. Though, with increasing frequency she’d taken him to her backroom to let himself sleep it off there instead. Sans had used to hate her for that.

“Oh uh… I forgot about that.” That at least wouldn’t be happening anymore, Papyrus didn’t drink nearly as much as he used to even when he went to Muffet’s. Which was something he’d started doing frequently again when Sans had started training alone with Alphys. So, Sans had _finally_ got him to stop drinking so much, it just took being broken to do it.

“Anyway dear, why are you up so late?”

“I uh… had a nightmare. But it doesn’t matter, why are _you_ up so late? And why do you want me to go back to the bar?”

“I had some business that I needed to take care that I couldn’t let anyone see me doing. I need you down at my bar because that business involved me finding that person I told you about yesterday morning. I have her in the backroom of my bar with me, I think you’d like to be here when I interrogate her.”

If it was the person she’d talked about when Alphys had asked her for information then that meant she probably knew were the gang was hiding. _Meaning_ they were that much closer to finding and rescuing Papyrus.

“Right now, interrogate her right now. I’ll head over and…”

“I can’t dear, I had to drug her so I could get her back here. She should wake up sometime tomorrow, probably a bit late in the morning.”

Sans wilted a little, but only a little. They’d be rescuing Papyrus soon because of this he just had to wait a little longer. “But I thought you said you couldn’t find that person.”

“I said I didn’t know where she was, not that I couldn’t find her. And that I would contact Alphys if she happened to appear in my bar again, for a cost of course.”

“Why didn’t you offer to do this then? I’m sure Alphys would’ve probably paid you more.”

“Because dear, this is taking too active a role and I don’t like to make enemies, it’s bad for business.”

“But… why are you okay with making enemies now?”

Muffet sighed as if he’d asked a dumb question. “They have Papyrus now.”

“Yeah…” Like Sans needed to be reminded about that.

“Also, if this doesn’t work my spiderlings should be able to find their hideout probably within a week or two at most. So, you really don’t have to worry too much, okay?”

Sans could’ve hugged her if she were in front of him. If what she said was true then finding the gang’s hideout was almost guaranteed. There was only one problem though. “But… what about the note and their threats about if we’re caught looking for them? Pappy could get hurt.”

“No one knows I have their friend, I made sure of that. And if my spiders have to look for it, they’re tiny and almost entirely unnoticeable when they don’t want to be seen. How we’re going to negate the threat towards Papyrus once we find where they’re keeping him is something best left up to you and Alphys, I know you two have dealt with situations like this before.”

That’s true, they had a few times. But Sans had never cared a lot for the safety of the hostages they were trying to save, he’d wanted to save them mostly because that was part of his job. The times when he’d failed to do so had made him angry but it hadn’t been the end of the world like it would be in this scenario. Not to mention that had been before Sans had been broken and made weak So, this felt like a _very_ different thing.

But Alphys was strong and smart and wasn’t head of the Royal Guard for nothing. She’d dealt with situations like this far more often than he had. She’d know what to do, she always did.

“Okay.” Sans nodded. “Thank you _so_ much. If it wasn’t for this I… don’t know what we would’ve done.” They’d been stuck without a single lead and looking for one might’ve gotten Papyrus hurt. But now that was solved. So, they’d be able to save Papyrus soon and everything would be okay again. Sans just had to hold on for little bit longer.

“Of course dear, anytime,” Muffet said, her voice sweet. “But why don’t you get some sleep now, okay? Tomorrow after breakfast we’ll try to get answers about Pappy’s whereabouts out of this bitch.” Her tone remained gentle throughout, making the last bit sound almost comedic.

“Okay, thanks again, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 “Goodnight,” she said before ending the call.

Now how was Sans supposed to even try to go back to sleep when the possibility of saving Papyrus was just around the corner? It could even happen tomorrow if things went well enough, hopefully anyway.

But if that was the case, he needed to get as much rest as he could tonight. Only he couldn’t because he’d probably have another nightmare, which would only make him feel even more exhausted. So, what should he do?

He stood, placing his sword on the couch for now, and went over to plug his phone back in. He then walked over and turned the TV on, and put a random anime disk in the DVD player. Hopefully it was something lighthearted and fluffy and not any of that weird tentacle hentai stuff he used to catch glimpses of occasionally. Surely, Undyne wouldn’t keep anything like that around when he was around and might catch sight of something that would trigger him, right?

He was in luck, it was an anime he not only recognized but also liked. He set it to the beginning of the first episode on the disk and then turned up the volume as loud as he dared before going back to the couch. He lay down on his side to face the TV, resting his head on the armrest. He then pulled the blanket back up to cover himself and hugged the sword to his chest once more.

This was kind of like rest, right? He might even fall asleep eventually, though he wasn’t specifically trying to. If he did, hopefully the sound of the TV wouldn’t let him fall into a deep enough slip into a dream. It wouldn’t be as restful as proper sleep, that was impossible anyway, but was better than nothing and better than waking from another nightmare.

“No more nightmares,” he whispered to himself. “Tomorrow you’re going to save Pappy and he’ll make everything all right again. So, you need to get as much rest as you possibly can tonight so you can be in your best possible shape tomorrow.” He tried to speak like Alphys would, commanding and not willing to put up with any attempt to make excuses. It maybe even worked a little bit. “No nightmares, just anime and sleep. Tomorrow we’ll get vengeance or at least get one step closer it.”


	60. Breakfast

“Sans!”

Sans flinched as his eyes snapped open to the sight of Alphys standing in front of him, glaring down at him.

“I slept,” he said before she could accuse him of what she was obviously thinking based of the angry look on her face. He’d drifted in and out of sleep, unable to go too deep because the TV and his nerves had made sleep difficult. Which left him still tired now but better than he would’ve felt if he’d had another nightmare.

“Then why is the TV on?” Alphys crossed her arms, tapping her foot.

Sans should probably at least force himself into a sitting position while he talked to her, right? But… would it really be worth the effort? “I had a nightmare, a bad one. So, I turned the TV on. When it’s loud like that I can’t sleep as well so… I’m less likely to dream.”

Her expression softened. “Oh. I had assumed… whatever. That’s still not good but… I guess it’s better than nightmares. How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” Exhausted, like he didn’t even want to move.

Alphys sighed, giving him a sorrow filled look. “I’ll let you go back to sleep until Undyne’s done making breakfast.”

Sans groaned, fighting tears that suddenly threatened to form in his eyes. “Please no, I don’t wanna eat.” Papyrus wasn’t here and he was too tired for it.

“I know, but you need to and you’re going to, okay?” At least she wasn’t mad, just full of pity. “You dealt with whatever your problem was just fine last night, you can do it again.” That had been last night though. “We’ll give you as much time and space as you need and the deck of cards too. Afterward we’ll go back to working on rescuing Papyrus, we’ll figure something out soon, I promise.”

“Oh,” Sans perked up a little. “Muffet called last night, or she texted and I called her. She kidnapped the red demon lady she was telling us about at her bar. She’s going to interrogate her after she wakes up from whatever she dosed her with and wants us to go down there for it.”

“Wonderful.” Alphys straightened, an eager expression splaying across her face.

“Can we… go now and… skip breakfast?”

“I would consider it but the way you spoke implies Muffet has the target held captive. Why she would do that I don’t know, she never has before, but it means our target’s not going anywhere anytime soon. And since you didn’t sleep well I want you to at the very least be well fed. They’re not gonna just give us Papyrus because we found them, we’ll probably have to fight, I need you ready for that or anything else that might happen.”

Sans groaned. She was right of course, like she always was, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He wanted to go save Papyrus _now_ and did _not_ want to deal with his eating problem.

“I’m gonna go wake Undyne now, you can continue to rest until we’re done making breakfast.” Alphys turned off the TV and left the room.

Sans sighed, pulling the blanket a bit tighter around himself and clutching the sword closer to his chest. He was _so_ tired. He was excited to save Papyrus but it was hard to hold fully onto that emotion when all he wanted to do was lie here and do nothing.

He couldn’t do that though. He _had_ to save Papyrus. Nothing mattered more than saving Papyrus _before_ he was terribly damaged by his captors the way Sans had been.

So, after taking a few minutes to gather the minuscule threads of willpower that remained within him, he rolled off the couch and stood with a tired groan. He then strapped the sword to his waist. His feet dragged on the floor as he walked but he made to the kitchen where Undyne and Alphys were setting up to make breakfast.

“G-good morning Sans,” Undyne said. She looked tired too and had just finished pouring herself a cup of coffee from the pot. “You uh… w-want some coffee? You look like you could use it.”

Sans nodded, too tired to answer with words.

“How w-would you like it?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Sans slumped onto the only chair in the kitchen.

“Looks like I’m the only morning person here,” Alphys said. “That means I get to be in charge of making breakfast.”

“Yeah, no,” Undyne said as she handed Sans a cup of coffee. “I may not be the best cook but I like my kitchen not burnt.”

“My way of cooking’s faster though. And a little bit of charcoal never hurt anyone, people eat it all the time.”

“Y-yeah, maybe dragon and reptile monsters like you, b-but the rest of, no.”

Sans took a drink of his coffee as he watched mostly Alphys lightheartedly banter about breakfast as they set up to prepare it. He was surprised to find that the coffee actually tasted good. He’d have to ask Undyne what she’d put in later.

By the time he finished it he was feeling more awake and alert, not completely but better nonetheless. And listening to Alphys’ banter and overall high energy was nice distraction from where his mind might’ve otherwise gone. Maybe he should get another cup of coffee. Or maybe not considering what happened last time he’d had coffee. A caffeine crash was the _last_ thing he needed with everything else going on. A short time later breakfast was done too.

“Take as much time as you need with your thing,” Alphys said handing him his plate as well as the deck of cards.

Sans nodded his thanks before heading back to the guest room. After locking the door, he settled down on the bed, placing the deck of cards on the bed next to himself for now.

“Just… eat fast, wait it out with a distraction and then you’re done and can go back to working on saving Pappy,” he told himself as he poked at the food with his fork. The quicker he got this over with the sooner he could go back to looking for Papyrus.

So, he took a deep breath and started eating. As soon as he was done he transitioned to the floor and started setting up a game of solitaire, trying not to think about his magic reacting the way it had been conditioned to. It still took longer than when he was with Papyrus but it did eventually go away.

He let out a sigh of relief as he stood after gathering up the cards. He then grabbed the dirty plate and left the room.

“You want to go out and visit with the t-tentacle babies before we head out?” Undyne asked him when he walked into the kitchen to drop off his dirty plate in the sink. She was already clearly about to head out there. “T-this is their breakfast time. Y-you could help if you’re uh… okay with getting that c-close to them.”

Sans sighed but nodded. It would only be for a little while and they wouldn’t leave for Muffet’s until Undyne was done with feeding them anyway. If he could get himself to help it might even go faster. And… he probably needed to anyway. It might be a while before he felt able to see them again.

“’Kay, have fun with that or whatever,” Alphys said. “I’ll wait in the living room.” She didn’t sound like she disapproved of him visiting the babies, though that might just be because she was good at hiding it.

Sans sighed again as he followed Undyne out the back door. He didn’t have the emotional space to worry about what Alphys thought of his relationship with the babies right now.

Outside, they were all floating in their pool, just starting to stir awake. Eventually they’d have to be moved to a bigger pool or even the river, though not for a while yet, this pool should be big enough to comfortably hold them for little while longer. At first, they were quiet, sleepily blinking as the ones who were already awake turned to face him and Undyne as the back door swung shut. And then they spotted Sans.

“Mama!” Of course, they were excited to see him, they always were.

“Hello,” Sans said with a small hand wave.

They were all awake now, excited as if he hadn’t come to see them just yesterday. They were more excited about him being there than they were about breakfast apparently. If they could just be a little less excited to see him Sans might be able to go closer.

“So, are you going to help feed them?” Undyne asked.

Sans had fed them before, their main diet was various fruits and seaweed, it wasn’t difficult. And he was grateful they weren’t a monster type that needed to be breast fed, that would’ve been _awful_. But feeding them meant being close to them and would give them an opportunity to touch him. He should though, right? Being their… mother meant he should take care of them, or at least help. And it would make it go faster so they could head to Muffet’s sooner. But…

“You d-don’t have to,” Undyne said. “You h-have enough… stuff to stress about w-without adding this.”

Sans sighed, some of the tension leaving his body. “Thanks, I’ll uh… watch then.” He settled down to sit on the ground and watch. At least him just showing up at all made the babies happy. Even if they did want more, this was all he could give them right now. Hopefully Papyrus was okay and no one was hurting him.


	61. Interrogation

“Good morning Sans.” Muffet greeted him with a smile when the three of them walked into her bar.

“What’s the deal with you suddenly going out of your way to help us?” Alphys said, crossing her arms as they strode up the bar. While they’d been walking down here Sans had given her and Undyne a more detailed explanation of his phone call with Muffet last night. She’d expressed doubts about Muffet’s trustworthiness, saying it was possible she might be planning to betray them, probably for money. Sans didn’t think so, though he hadn’t said so because he wasn’t in the mood to argue.

“Papyrus has a really big tab,” Muffet replied. “He can’t pay it off if he’d dead or kidnapped.”

“That’s nice and all but he doesn’t pay his tab, or at least that’s what I’ve always heard from Sans. And it wouldn’t have gotten so big in the first place if he made payments on it. In fact, if he did die you’d have grounds to transfer that debt over to Sans, and he probably _would_ pay it. So, what’s your _real_ reason for wanting to help us? Assuming that is even your motive at all.”

Muffet raised an eyebrow. “Does my reason for wanting to help actually matter?”

“ _Yes_ , it matters a lot.”

“Let’s just go,” Sans said. Muffet’s real reason for helping didn’t matter to him as long it brought them closer to finding and rescuing Papyrus. Besides, it was probably just because Muffet considered Papyrus to be a good friend, a reasonable conclusion based off how often Papyrus hung out at her bar.

“If you betray us I _will_ kill you.” Alphys growled, pointing a finger at Muffet.

Muffet’s only response was a shrug as she gestured for them to come around behind the bar and into the back room with her.

In the back room, hanging down from the spiderweb canopy by a thin rope of more spider silk was a cocoon. It was the right size and shape to hold a medium sized monster and hung several feet above the floor, about the right height for someone as tall as Muffet to be able to easily interact with it. Next to it was a giant spider that looked a bit like a malformed cupcake.

“O-oh, that’s a big spider,” Undyne stammered at the sight of it.

“Yes, he is. His name is Cupcake, I’m sure you can see why,” Muffet said as she sauntered over to it and the cocoon. “He won’t bite though unless I tell him to.”

Alphys strode over too. Sans walked with her, positioning himself so that she’d be between him and Cupcake. It was big enough that it could probably eat him in a bite or two if it wanted to. It probably wouldn’t, it seemed to be Muffet’s pet and she wouldn’t let that happen, but taking chances like that wasn’t something he was into doing anymore. Being short and small sucked. How had he ever not been so aware of it before?

“I assume this is our person.” Alphys gestured to the cocoon. “We might want to get the Royal Torturer down here for this.”

“No, we can handle it,” Muffet said. “And we don’t want to call attention to the fact that we have her.”

Alphys crossed her arms in annoyance. “All right, fair enough. How confident are you that no one knows you’ve captured her?”

“Very.” Muffet turned towards the cocoon and using whatever weird spider magic she had, began unweaving the bottom of it. “Let’s begin though, shall we?”

Soon the head of the person inside the cocoon was revealed. Sans recognized her as someone he used to walk by while on patrol. She was a red demon monster most often seen with a mouse monster wearing a too big scarf. He’d often suspected that they were informants for somebody from the way they always seemed to be hanging around not doing much of anything important. She was unconscious right now but a quick slap from Muffet fixed that.

“Uh… what…?”

“Let’s start with your name,” Muffet said. “What is it?

“Why ya wanna know?” The dazed look on her face and tone in her voice was quickly fading as she no doubt registered the less than good position she was currently in.

“Mostly just for convenience but if you won’t tell us…”

“Where’s Papyrus?” Sans interrupted. “If you guys hurt him you’ll _regret_ it.” He growled, gripping his sword, ready to draw it and summon a row of Blasters.

“I had nothing to do with those idiots’ stupid idea to kidnap him.” The red monster growled back. “So, don’t involve me in this stupid bullshit.”

“ _Where_ did they take him?” Sans didn’t care if she had nothing to do with that plan specifically, he’d gladly kill her for just associating with the people who had.

“Their hideout.” She gave him a snarky grin, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that she was upside down.

“And where’s the fucking hideout?” Sans growled again. He’d flay those assholes alive for hurting and kidnapping Papyrus.

“It’s somewhere.”

“I suggest you tell us where,” Muffet said.

“If you do,” Alphys said, “you won’t be punished for associating with them and can go free as soon as we’re done dealing with them.”

“I’m not going to rat them out just ‘cause you asshats told me to.”

“We’ll just have to make you talk then,” Muffet said with shrug.

That seemed to have finally gotten through to her as she cast Muffet a slightly worried look. “Fuck you bitch,” she said with an obviously forced growl.

Muffet didn’t seem to care though. “Let me handle this,” she said, addressing Alphys, Sans, and presumably Undyne who was standing a little distance away.

Sans fidgeted, still grasping the hilt of his sword. He didn’t know how to get information out of someone, especially through torture, but he still wanted to do something to help. There wasn’t anything he could do though. So, watching would have to do, as long as it would lead to finding Papyrus.

One of Muffet’s hands moved to hover over where the red demon’s chest would be, still wrapped up in the cocoon. There was a soft ping followed by her sharp intake of breath as her soul was forced out into the open, glowing reddish orange. Muffet’s hand moved towards it.

“Don’t.” Hand already on the hilt, Sans drew his sword and in one swift motion pointed it at Muffet.

Muffet froze, her hand centimeters away from the soul. She looked at Sans, a shocked expression on her face. “I’m getting information out of her, dear. That means I have to hurt her because she’s not going to tell us what we want to know if I don’t. This is the fastest way to do that.”

Sans’ hand trembled slightly as he focused on Muffet, refusing to even _look_ at the soul. “I know, but that… that’s going too far. Torture her in any horrible way you want but… _don’t_ touch her soul.” Hurting someone through their soul was going too far. An argument could probably be made that some people deserved it, like the people who’d hurt Papyrus, but Sans would never be able to watch it or be in the same room when it happened.

Muffet hesitated a second or two longer before pulling her hand back to her side. The red orange glow in Sans’ peripheral vision vanished and he sheathed the sword once more. He looked to the side, at _anything_ that wasn’t any of the other people in room, and crossed his arms to obscure the fact that his hands were shaking.

“I’m… sorry,” Muffet said. “I did not mean to upset you.” She sounded… genuine. “You’re right, that is going too far. I got a bit carried away.”

Sans didn’t know how to respond. Should he apologize too for pointing his sword at her? Everyone would think he’d gone crazy now, defending an enemy was… unheard of, no one did stuff like that, ever. Heck even defending random strangers was super rare unless it was a young child, even then a lot of people wouldn’t care enough to help. The Underground was just like that, one watched out for themselves, their friends and family and everyone else could go fuck themselves. Sans didn’t care though, he _couldn’t_ sit there and watch _that_ even if it was happening to someone he hated.

“’Kay, I’ll talk,” the red monster said. Sans snapped around to face her.

“Why would you suddenly change your mind?” Alphys asked, glaring at her suspiciously.

“I don’t know, maybe because he just saved me from soul torture even though I work for the people who kidnapped his brother and know where they are. So, I think I might owe him a bit. Also, the only people I’ve ever seen who do that kind of thing are people who’ve had it happen to them a bunch so I know it’s gotta be bad.”

“Sans, is that true?” Muffet asked. “Were you…” She trailed off.

Sans shrugged. “Yeah, sorta.” It had been soul rape, forced arousal and magic suppressant slime being forced into his soul, not actual torture but still awful beyond words. “It doesn’t matter though. Where’d they’d take Papyrus?”

“You know that old abandoned library on the outskirts of town? It has a secret basement that they’ve been using as their hideout for a while now. They even made a hidden entrance at the back of the building facing the forest so they could get in and out without being seen. No one else knows it’s there as far I can tell. That’s where they’re keeping your bro.”


	62. Planning

Getting spoon fed was humiliating to say the least, especially since the fox monster, the same one who’d held the magic blocker, in charge of feeding him easily avoid his attempts to bite his hand despite being injured as well. What made it even worse was the gruel tasted disgusting. Papyrus would’ve refused to eat it if he wasn’t so low on magic.

He eventually finished it though and the fox left, leaving him alone with Dogamy once more. The fox had force fed him first and then had duct taped his muzzle shut once more.

As soon as the lock on the door clicked, Papyrus tried to summon a bone construct again. It was still painful but he got it to stay this time, though with how weak and tired he was he wouldn’t be able to hold it for long. But he started sawing at the ropes binding his hands together anyway. The rope was thick and sturdy, probably also the kind made to resist magic. He kept at it though, he had no other options right now.

“Dogamy?” Papyrus said, raising his voice as loud as he dared.

Dogamy didn’t reply though. In fact, he looked asleep. Had they drugged him or was he just that exhausted because of his injuries, Papyrus still didn’t know how bad those were, and sorrow? Either way he wouldn’t be much help here. So, with a sigh, Papyrus went back to sawing at his bindings despite how futile it seemed.

After a while, a spider scurried into his line of his sight. He paused. There was no way to know if it was one of Muffet’s or just a random spider, though there were times he wondered if all of spiders in the Underground worked for Muffet. But if it was Muffet’s that meant she’d just found him, meaning he was almost as good as saved.

He glanced towards the door, the sound of muffled indecipherable voices could be heard coming through it, none of them sounded like they were coming closer. “Hey Muffet s’up?” he said. She’d mentioned a few times that her spiderlings could convey simple messages to her and understood some of what others said to them. “Make sure Sans is okay for me please.” If she knew where he was she’d tell Alphys, even though they didn’t like each other, and she would come save him so he didn’t have to worry much about himself anymore. “Also… uh Dogaressa’s dead.” Not news he’d ever want to give but it was probably best that the outside people knew.

Muffet’s spider or not it scurried onward and was soon gone. Hopefully it was Muffet’s, there was _no_ way he’d be able to last much longer especially if they decided they wanted to torture him. And the sooner he was rescued the sooner he could make sure Sans was okay.

***

“There’s traces of Dogaressa’s blood along one of the riverbanks in the forest,” Alphys said as she returned, pocketing her phone. “It’s almost exactly parallel to the library so that bitch’s story might be true.”

“How much was there?” Sans asked. They were seated in one of the rear booths at Muffet’s bar, Undyne and Alphys on one side, Sans sitting across from them.

“Apparently a lot, but there didn’t seem to be any dust. So, we can probably assume they ambushed her while she was distracted looking for their trail and they have her captive now too or they gathered her dust for some reason. But her phone was found in the snow nearby, open to her contacts like she was about to call someone, probably me.”

Sans fidgeted, rubbing his hand around the hilt of his sword. He wanted to go do something right _now_ but Muffet had said they needed to confirm the red monster’s story before going out to the library as well as get a general idea of where Papyrus was located both in the building and in relation to his captors. So, she’d sent a bunch of her spiders out to check. It hadn’t been that long ago, not even a full hour yet, but it sure felt like it.

“D-did they find anything else?” Undyne asked.

“Other than the basic signs of an ambush no,” Alphys replied. “I told them to leave it alone for now so they don’t fall into the same trap or get the captives hurt. But they are on standby nearby so they can come quickly when I summon them. I’ve also called in several other Guards, they’re going to be undercover until I send them a message and we’ll all close in on the library once we know more about what we’re up against.”

The sat in silence for a few minutes before Muffet made her way over to them, sliding in next to Sans. “It’s true, they’re holed up under the library in a room even I wasn’t aware existed. Papyrus and Dogamy are tied up in a side room, presumably it’s locked. And Papyrus sent a message through one my spiders, he wants me to make sure Sans is okay and also said that Dogaressa is dead.”

Dogaressa was dead? That explained why they couldn’t get a hold of her. But… would things have been different if she’d known about that note? Maybe, maybe not, she would’ve at least been more cautious in her search though, right? Enough that she might not have been found and caught. So, Sans was partially responsible for her death. And what about Dogamy? Did he know yet? He was at least alive… for now. Sans really could not afford to think about them right now, Papyrus was more important.

“Oh, that’s… not good,” Alphys said with angry frown. “Any news on how it happened?”

“No, my spiderlings are smart but can only remember so much information at a time.”

But of course, Papyrus would tell Muffet to make sure Sans was okay, that was just like him. But was _he_ okay? “Muffet, do your spiders know if Pappy’s okay?” Sans asked. “Did his captors… hurt him?” Did they rape him?

“Well he was okay enough to speak coherently to my spider, that’s a good sign. So, I’m sure he as okay as he can be in his situation.” That didn’t mean those bastards hadn’t raped him though. There was probably no way to know for sure until he was saved.

“Let’s go save him,” Sans said. If Muffet wasn’t blocking the way he’d have been standing up and heading out there right now.

“Hold on Sans,” Alphys said. “We have to be careful or they might get a chance to hurt Papyrus or Dogamy, possibly even use them at shields. We should wait until night, when it’s dark and most of them will be asleep so we can take them by surprise and hopefully overwhelm them before they can try to use Papyrus against us. We also need to work out a plan of attack before we do anything.”

She was right of course, but that didn’t make Sans feel any less anxious about _needing_ to do something _right_ now. They could be hurting Papyrus even as they sat here talking about rescuing him. There was nothing that could be done about it if they were and they had to minimize the chances of them having an excuse to do so. Meaning Papyrus would just have to hang on until after nightfall. He was strong, he’d be fine… hopefully.

“So,” Alphys said, “Muffet tell us everything your spider babies were able to pick up on about the gang, their hideout and the surrounding area.”


	63. Waiting for Night

“Sans, I think you should get some sleep while we wait,” Alphys said.

“I can’t sleep, I’ll have a nightmare” And he was too anxious to hold still or lie down right now. But underneath that he was… tired, he hadn’t slept well last night. If he kept this up he’d collapse, potentially at an inopportune moment too. But he couldn’t stop. They were _so_ close to saving Papyrus, he wanted to do it _now_ and there were so many things that could still go wrong. Like what if they failed and Papyrus got killed or severally injured, which would basically be the same thing due to how damaged he already was, because of it?

They’d thoroughly discussed what they were going to do and how they were going to do it with help from the diagram Muffet had drawn up based off information her spiders had given her. She’d even had them scout the sentry spot locations. So, once night fell they could send people ahead to take them out stealthily, ensuring they wouldn’t be spotted sneaking in.

That had taken several hours and it was now past midday but nighttime was still hours away, leaving them with nothing to do but wait. It was _awful_.

He was pacing back and forth in the back room of Muffet’s bar. Because Muffet was going to help them rescue Papyrus she’d offered to let them wait here. Alphys had been angry about it but had agreed, they were already here anyway. The cupcake spider and red demon were gone though, where was anyone’s guess but it didn’t matter.

“I know but… at least sit down.” Alphys patted the spot next to her on the couch. Undyne was sitting on her other side, biting her lip and twirling a finger through her hair.

“I can’t.” Sans _needed_ to be doing something but _couldn’t_ until tonight. That left him filled with nervous energy which he couldn’t do anything with.

And what was he going to do about food? Everyone would except him to eat again and he just… couldn’t, not without Papyrus. But he would have to at least once. And he _should_ rest given how little sleep he’d gotten last night.

He growled, kicking one of the coffee table’s legs. It hurt but he didn’t care. “This fucking _sucks_ , I _hate_ it.” It wasn’t fair, why couldn’t he be able to sleep like a normal person?

“I know,” Alphys said. “I hate it too. But come over here and _sit_.”

Sans couldn’t, just holding still while standing was difficult. He was going to be _exhausted_ later if he kept this up. But he didn’t know what to do about it.

The door leading to the front opened and Muffet walked in. Her eyes locked on Sans. “What’s wrong?” Almost everything, but saying that wouldn’t help.

“He needs to sleep or at least rest but won’t,” Alphys said. “I’m about to force him to.”

“I can’t.” Sans crossed his arms. Why couldn’t it just be night already so they could go rescue Papyrus? This waiting was worse than yesterday’s helplessness.

“I might have something that could help. I’ll be right back,” Muffet said before turning to head back out into the bar.

“If she brings back alcohol I’m gonna kill her,” Alphys growled.

“I d-doubt she’ll do that,” Undyne said. “S-she seems to care about Sans and P-Papyrus.”

Alphys grumpily crossed her arms but didn’t say anything to that.

Muffet returned a short time later, a cup of steaming tea in her hands. She carried it over and handed it to Sans. “I put a sleep drug in it so it should put you to sleep for a few hours.”

Sans stared down at it, it was pleasantly warm in his hands and smelled nice. “I have nightmares though… bad ones.” And if he was drugged he wouldn’t be able to wake up from them, right? He’d get more rest but would have to suffer more in his dream, and would that _really_ be restful? “I… can’t handle one right now.” He was already at the very limit of what he could deal with and that was with only letting himself worry about saving Papyrus.

“I’m not sure if it’ll help with that but I’ve never had vivid dreams while taking it. You can try it if you want, or don’t, it’s up to you. But you probably should sleep dear, you have bags under your eyes. We’ll wake you up for dinner.”

Sans didn’t have much of a choice here, did he? He couldn’t afford to let himself do something that was going to weaken him further, not with how weak he already was by default. “I can’t… eat around other people. I’ll… need somewhere private and something to distract myself with.” While he spoke, he stared down at the tea in his hands, steam raising from it in lazy swirls.

There was a short pause before Muffet replied. “Why?”

“It doesn’t matter why,” Alphys cut in. “It’s his business and you’re not going to ask him about it. So, when the time comes you’re gonna do as he asks.”

“All right,” Muffet said. “He can eat back here and we’ll go out front until he’s done. Is that acceptable Sans?” She didn’t sound annoyed by it but… that didn’t mean she wasn’t, right? At least she was dropping it though, explaining anything to her, or anyone other than Papyrus, would be awful in every possible way.

Sans nodded, trying not to tremble. He’d dealt with the problem on his own twice now, one more time wouldn’t hurt. “Thanks,” he whispered before taking a sip of the tea. It was jasmine flavored, the kind he’d used to brew quite often back when he’d bothered to do such things. It had a slight bitter taste to it, probably the sleep drug.

He quickly finished it and placed the empty mug on the coffee table. “If I start making sounds in my sleep wake me up _immediately_ please,” he said, looking at Alphys. “It doesn’t matter what kinds of sounds I’m making or what I’m saying, just wake me up, okay? And if you can’t… maybe you could… leave please.” Having a sex dream with Alphys and Undyne right there would be the _worst_.

“All right,” Alphys said. “If you start dreaming I’ll try to wake you and if I can’t me and Undyne will head back out front, I promise.”

Sans let out a sigh of relief, the drug already starting to make him feel relaxed. What would he do if Alphys wasn’t such a good friend?

“I’m going to head back out front then,” Muffet said.

As she left, Sans sat on the couch next to Alphys before lying down, his head on the armrest. “We’re gonna rescue Papyrus tonight and then everything’s gonna be okay,” he whispered to himself.

“And, we’re gonna fuck up the people who hurt him,” Alphys added.

“Yeah, we are.” They kept up that kind of dialogue as the drug relaxed Sans further and further until he eventually fell asleep.

 

“Wake up Sans.”

Someone was shaking his shoulder a bit more vigorously than he would’ve liked. He didn’t want to respond to it though. “… go… ‘way…” He sleepily waved his hand in their general direction in an attempt to push them away.

“C’mon Sans, you need to get up and eat something ‘cause we gonna head out to rescue Papyrus in like an hour.”

He cracked his eyes open at the mention of Papyrus. “We gonna save Pappy?” That was important, _very_ important.

“Yes, we are. So, you need to get up now.”

Sans pushed himself up to blink warily around the room. Muffet’s back room. They were here waiting for nightfall so they could save Papyrus. And he’d slept without waking from a nightmare even though he had had one. The tentacle monster had been there and it had fucked him. He hadn’t woken up though and it hadn’t been as vivid as it normally was, so he felt more rested. And still relaxed from the drug he couldn’t quite care about it much as he normally would yet. But he was lucky it hadn’t been one of the nightmares about it putting the eggs in him, he wouldn’t have been able to handle that no matter how unvivid it was. Hopefully he hadn’t made any sounds in his sleep, signalling what he'd been dreaming about, like he apparently did a lot since waking up Papyrus with it hadn't been an uncommon thing.

He turned his head to see Alphys. She’d withdrawn her hand from his shoulder as he sat up. Undyne was sitting on her other side still and Muffet was standing nearby.

“How are you feeling?” Muffet asked. “You sleep okay?”

“Okay, sorta.” Should he ask for more the drug for later usage? Waking like this hadn’t been too bad and even if he’d had a nightmare he was at least well rested, so he wouldn’t have to worry much about complete exhaustion for a little while at least. Later, he’d ask for more later.

“Good,” Alphys said. “Now, you’re gonna eat in here and the rest of us well go out there,” she pointed towards the front, “‘till you’re done. And in like an hour we’re gonna head over to the library to save Papyrus, cool?”

Wow, had Sans really slept that long? “All right,” he said. The drug was wearing off now, the sleepiness it had brought being replaced with nervous energy and worry. But he didn’t have the time nor the emotional capacity to worry about much other than rescuing Papyrus.

“And h-here’s a pack of cards,” Undyne said, placing her deck of cards on the coffee table next to a plate with food on it. “For your d-distraction thing.”

“Thanks,” Sans said, somehow managing to keep his voice from shaking. And with that the three of them left him alone. He sighed as he watched the door close, looking up at the web canopy he saw that even the small spiders had left the room. Or at least he couldn’t see any.

He picked up the plate of food, a large muffin much like the one she’d tried to give him yesterday. All he had to do was get through this and he’d never have to deal with his problem alone again.

He ate it quickly, surprised by how good it tasted. Why had he been so adamant about hating Muffet’s food if he hadn’t ever even tried it? Eating unhealthily every so often wasn’t the end of the world.

He groaned when he finished it, his magic forming in his pelvis. It was fine though, he could deal with this. And he would be saving Papyrus soon so everything was going to be okay. He placed the plate back on the table as he lowered himself to sit directly at it and picked up the pack of cards, spilling them out over the table top.

He was about a third of the way through the game when his phone broke the focused silence that had settled over him. He jumped a little in surprise before digging into his pocket to pull it out. The caller ID read PAPYRUS.

Should he answer it? He did _not_ want to talk to anyone when he was like this, especially someone he hated with every fiber of his being. But… it was probably important, right? And it would be impossible for them to know about his… condition over the phone, or that anything was wrong at all as long as he kept his voice from sounding pathetic. So, with shaking hands he accepted the call on the last ring.

“You have ‘till this time tomorrow night to meet our demands or Pappy loses a hand. We’ll contact you for your answer sometime tomorrow.” Nicecream said before immediately hanging up.

Sans stared at the phone in shock for a couple seconds as he registered Nicecream’s message. “ _Fuck you_.” Sans stood, lifting the phone as if to throw it onto the table, stopping himself just in time. Instead he turned and threw it onto the couch, where it _wouldn’t_ have a chance to break.

How dare that motherfucker refer to Papyrus as ‘Pappy’? How dare they threaten to cut off his hand or any other part of him? How dare they kidnap or hurt him? How dare they even fucking _exist_?

Sans growled again as he turned to kick the coffee table. It fell over with a loud thunk, everything on it spilling to the floor. He froze, lifting his head to look towards the door. Had anyone heard that? If so, would they come and investigate? Thankfully, the carpet prevented the plate from breaking at least. And it was a sturdy table so it didn’t appear as if any part of it had broken.

After several seconds when thankfully nothing happened Sans bent over and righted it, placing the plate back on top. He’d pretend he hadn’t done that. Then he gathered the cards back up into a neat little stack. He was about to start lying them out again but stopped when he realized his arousal and magic were gone, his rage must’ve driven it away.

That was the fastest it had ever gone away. Which was good, the less he had to deal with it the better.

He took a deep breath as he shook himself and put the cards back in the pack. He was still mad but the table falling over had at least brought him to his senses. Anger was good here, but he needed to be calm and cold about it.

He retrieved his phone next. Those asshats had another thing coming if they thought they’re demands would be followed.


	64. Stealth

Papyrus jerked awake as the door opened. As usual he hadn’t intended to fall asleep but had been too exhausted not to. At least he wasn’t out of it enough that he slept through the door opening.

Burgerpants walked in with a grin, closing the door behind himself. “Hey Pappy, how’s it going?”

Papyrus growled. “Don’t call me that.”

“I think I’ll call you whatever I want, Pappy. It’s a cute nickname.”

Papyrus growled again. He wanted nothing more than to claw Burgerpants’ ugly face off.

Was it night yet? That’s when he was most likely to be rescued. They’d sneak in to take everyone by surprise while they were sleeping to minimize the chances of someone getting an opportunity to use him a shield. Burgerpants being here didn’t bode well for that though.

“Why does your brother call you ‘Pappy’ anyway? It sounds like something a child would say.” Burgerpants sneered. “Even though I guess he is at least as weak and stupid as your average child.” Is _that_ what this asshole was stooping to now? Childish insults and playground bully type behaviour. They _both_ knew that if Papyrus weren’t injured half to death and tied up he’d have skinned Burgerpants alive a long time ago.

“Says the guy who’s fucking scared of him,” Papyrus said. “After he destroyed your damn stolen magic blocker and fired a couple Blasters at ya, ya _sure_ seemed to be in a hurry to scurry away like the filthy fucking cowards ya…” Burgerpants slapped him, snapping his head to side. His head seemed to ring from the impact, the edges of vision going black for a second or two.

“…not a fucking coward,” Burgerpants was saying as the ringing in Papyrus’ ‘ears’ faded enough for him to be able to hear again. “I’m the one in charge here, _not_ you. So, don’t even start that.”

Papyrus growled, shaking off the pain of the slap, it was nothing compared to everything else anyway. “What the fuck do you even want?” Surely even Burgerpants wasn’t petty enough to come in just to insult him and Sans. Whatever he did want couldn’t be good but the faster he was done and out of here the better. Both because Papyrus _really_ didn’t want to see his ugly face anymore and because rescue should hopefully be coming soon. Assuming of course that that spider _had_ been Muffet’s.

“I had a thought recently and I…”

“I’m sure that doesn’t happen often,” Papyrus interrupted with a grin. “Congrats.”

Burgerpants snarled and slapped him again, not as hard as before but still enough to sting. “Shut the fuck up asshole, don’t interrupt me when I’m speaking. Anyway, Sans pulling his little surprise stunt with the magic blocker, and it was a surprise he _never_ would’ve gotten anywhere if we’d expected it, ruined the fun we were gonna have with him. So, I was thinking we could maybe take it out on you instead.”

‘Fun’ could only mean one thing in this context. The mere remainder of what these asshats had been planning to do to Sans made Papyrus enraged enough that he almost didn’t register the last part.

“Tomorrow,” Burgerpants continued with a smug grin, “we’ll drag you out there,” he pointed to door, “and let everyone have some fun with you. We’ll film it on your phone too and send it to Sans with another reminder for him to hurry up with our demands.”

Papyrus growled to hide the fact that he was starting to feel almost afraid now. With how beat up and weakened he already was what were the chances of him surviving a… gang rape with that many people? And Sans, with everything that had happened to him did _not_ need to see anything like that even if Papyrus did survive it. “Don’t you _dare_.”

Burgerpants chuckled. “Tonight though, I think I’ll take you for a test run, I’m sure one of your eye sockets will do just fine.” He was already messing with his pants, letting them fall around his ankles and freeing his mostly limp dick. A few strokes got it up pointing though.

***

Being out after night had fallen was awful, it was dark and hard to see, though Sans’ vision being tied to magic made it a lot easier on him than Alphys. Which was why she’d put him at point. He hadn’t even bothered trying to protest that, what she said went without question in situations where she was acting as his commanding officier.

They were taking a long way around so they’d approach the library straight on from behind, just in case. It involved walking through the forest for a quite a ways and uncomfortably close to the river that ran through it. Sans couldn’t see it though so it wasn’t too bad.

Before they’d set out several Guards, the sneaky ones who often acted as assassins anyway, had gone through and eliminated all of the sentries that Muffet’s spiders had discovered, Hopefully, they hadn’t missed any.

Everyone was wearing padded armor instead of the usual metal stuff so they’d moved almost silently too. Well except for the sounds of mostly Alphys, but a few of the other Guards too, stumbling and stepping on everything that could be stumbled and stepped on in the darkness. But that couldn’t be helped and other than the occasional twig snapping underfoot it wasn’t too bad. So, somehow, they made it to the library without raising an alarm or seeing anyone or anything.

“’Kay let’s do this.” Alphys ‘whispered’, rubbing her hands together as they stepped up to the rear of building. Behind her were a squadron of Guards, Muffet, and bringing up the rear the Guard designated to carry their magic blocker. It wasn’t on yet but it would be once the fuckwit gang had been subdued and arrested, execution would come later hopefully with added torture.

Now that they were near the building, the small outline of the secret door was visible. Sans prodded at it until he could get his fingers into the gap and pull it open, slowly so as to make as little noise as possible. He cringed at every little scrap against hardened snow and squeal of the hinges. Once it was all the way opened he stepped through into the darkened hallway beyond, a hand on his sword and ready to summon a Blaster or a wave of bone constructs.

A few feet in was a metal chair, someone sat in it, their head slumped against their chest. Sans froze in place, before he heard a soft snore come from the seated figure, they were sleeping. Luckily these street thugs lacked true discipline and probably assumed themselves safe in their previously undiscovered hideout, leading this one to napping on the job.

“What’s up?” Alphys again tried to whisper but being quiet was the exact opposite of what she was good at.

The sleeping lookout stirred, snorting before blearily lifting their head to look towards Sans. “What…” They cut off with a strangled grunt as Sans’ summoned bone projectile pierced them through the throat. Flinching at even that noise, Sans stepped forward to catch before they fell and made even more sound, lowering their body gently to ground and holding their mouth shut to muffle their pained gagging. He summoned another construct and shot it through where their soul should be. They collapsed into dust and Sans let out a sigh of relief. That could’ve gone a whole lot worse.

Alphys stepped forward, opening her mouth as if she were about to say something before clearly thinking better of it and closed it again. Instead she gave him a large smile and two thumbs up. Behind her, Muffet gave him gentle smile and six thumbs up before gesturing for him to continue in.

Sans almost groaned at the thought but straightened and headed further in anyway. This was stressful yes, but saving Papyrus was far more important.


	65. Attack

There were what looked like pointed barbs on Burgerpants’ dick, now fully erect and unfortunately on level with Papyrus’ eye sockets. Papyrus didn’t want it anywhere near any part of himself. He clenched his eyes shut and ducked his head in and away as Burgerpants put a hand on the back of his skull. “You’re only landing yourself in more trouble asshole,” he said with a growl.

Burgerpants chuckled, prodding his dick against Papyrus’ closed eye. “You forget, if they want to see you alive again they’ll have to pardon me and all my friends and let us vanish into the Capital. So, why don’t you just go ahead and open your damn eye already, make this easier for the both of us.”

As if Papyrus would ever in a million years sit there and let someone rape his eye socket. With a growl, he turned his head, opening his mouth to bite down on as much Burgerpants’ dick as he could easily get his mouth on, which was most of it. Metallic tasting blood flooded his mouth as Burgerpants yowled like a dying cat, his knees giving out underneath him. The weight of him falling only assisted Papyrus’ sharp teeth sinking into all the way through his dick, severing it. It dusted in Papyrus’ mouth, mixing unpleasantly with the blood as it flowed down his chin.

Burgerpants fell over onto his side, still yowling and screeching in that annoying way only cats could. Papyrus spat what he could of the dust and blood out, wishing he could spit it out on Burgerpants’ face to add to his suffering and humiliation. But his cries of pain as he writhed on the floor were _amazing_. If Papyrus weren’t tied up he’d have been making them worse, cutting the rest of his dick of, breaking every bone in his body, and so much more. He _deserved_ it.

“Holy shit, looks like he bit his dick off.” The words were accompanied by laughter as everyone had crowded around the door, no doubt drawn by Burgerpants’ yowling.

“What the fuck happened?” Nicecream’s voice was an angry screech. Right, his leg was injured so he couldn’t stand and walk over to investigate.

“The fucker bit Burgerpants’ dick off,” one gang member called back, sending them all into another fit of cruel laughter.

“It’s not funny,” Burgerpants said, his voice pitched high with pain. He was no longer yowling and thrashing but mewling and whimpering pathetically instead with actual tears running down his ugly face as he lay limply on the floor. The fur around what was left of his dick was matted with blood as he curled around it.

“I think it’s quite _humerus_ ,” Papyrus said with a grin.

Burgerpants’ only response was a pained whimper as he pushed himself backwards and away from Papyrus. The goons crowding the door chuckled again.

“Drag him back out here you fools.” Nicecream’s order was accompanied by the sound of a fist banging on a wooden desk. “And get him some medical attention before he fucking bleeds to death or something. We’ll find a way to punish that asshole later.”

Still grinning wickedly, a pair of goons stepped into the room, heading for Burgerpants. But before they could take more than two steps there was a sound, an awful lot like several Blasters going off at once, in the main room. It was accompanied by yells of pain and surprise. The two goons snapped back around, summoning projectiles.

Before they could make another move though the sound of Blasters came again, this time firing through the door and into them. Sans ran in maybe two seconds later, his sword drawn, its blade slick with dust coated blood. “Pappy,” he said with obvious relief, almost childlike even as he pulled his Blasters in, four of them and fired them at the goons again, pushing them away from Papyrus. Judging by the sounds of battle going on outside he wasn’t alone.

Papyrus had been saved and Sans was okay. More than okay actually, as with a precision Papyrus hadn’t seen from him what felt like forever he finished off the goons. Stabbing one through with his sword the other with a Blaster beam. He then moved closer to Papyrus, pausing when he spotted Burgerpants lying on floor and pointed his sword at him, summoning a single Blaster to point at him as well.

 “Don’t, please.” Burgerpants whimpered and squirmed backwards. There were sparks in the air around him as if her were trying to use magic but he was clearly in too much pain and too frightened to summon anything and hold onto it.

“What happened here?” Sans’ voice was edged with cold anger as he gestured with his sword to the still bleeding remains of Burgerpants’ dick.

“I bit it off,” Papyrus said with a cruel grin before thinking.

There was a second or two of silence before Sans turned his head to face Papyrus with a shocked almost fearful expression on his face. “Did he… hurt you?” His voice was a whisper, almost emotionless but tinged with what could only be horror. “Did he make you… suck his…”

Shit, Papyrus shouldn’t have said, Sans didn’t need to know what Burgerpants had tried to do but… he was smart enough to figure it out anyway based off the blood and dust on Papyrus’s chin coupled with the state Burgerpants was in. “No, he tried to… hurt me but I…” Papyrus cut off as the look on Sans’ face morphed into one of pure rage, his eye lights vanishing as he turned his head back to looked down at Burgerpants once more.

“Please don’t…” Burgerpants’ plea was cut off with another yowl of agony as Sans stabbed the sword down into what was left his dick.

Without saying a single thing or changing his expression, Sans summoned four bone constructs and shot them down to impale Burgerpants’ arms and legs, preventing him from trying to crawl away. Which probably would’ve been impossible anyway with how much pain he was in, but it was nice to make sure. He then began slowly dragging the sword up, slicing through Burgerpants’ hide, not deep enough to disembowel only draw blood and more cries of pain.

Before Sans had always been clean and efficient whenever killing was necessary. This was anything but. Seeing Sans being enraged enough to do this was… encouraging in one way, especially after the weeks that had turned into months of Sans being too tired to feel much of anything. But just like the thing with Doggo, it was also kind of… not good because Sans wasn’t supposed to be like that. He normally only killed as part of his job as a Royal Guard, and even then only when it necessary, or in self-defense. But Burgerpants _deserved_ to suffer.

Muffet strode in. “Hey…” she began before blinking in surprise at Sans torturing Burgerpants. “Well, I can see you have him taken care of, I guess I’ll free the prisoners.” She moved over to crouch down by Papyrus and began working on his restraints. “Also, we already took out the rest of the gang.” The way she said that implied she was proud of her role in that, meaning she’d taken some anger out on someone she didn’t like. Which no doubt was why she hadn’t arrived at the same time as Sans did.

“Hey Muffet,” Papyrus said with another sigh of relief, it was nice to see her again too. “I’m uh kinda surprised you’d come along for something like this, I thought ya hated taken active roles in things.”

“Normally yes, but I couldn’t leave you here to be mistreated and possibly killed by a bunch bullies. Especially not after seeing how upset your poor sweet brother was about this whole thing.”

Papyrus almost laughed at Sans being called ‘sweet’. Oh, he certainly was sometimes, but not right now. He’d moved on to Burgerpants’ face, using the tip of his sword to gouge his eyes out with a bloody mess, continuing Burgerpants’ pained screeching. He was so far gone he thrashed against the bones impaling his limps, only damaging them further.

“We’ll get you some medical attention soon.” Muffet lightly pet Papyrus’ head as she stood, having finished untying him faster than he ever would’ve thought possible. “I’m going to untie Dogamy now.”

Before going over to Dogamy however she stepped up to Sans. She whispered something to him that Papyrus couldn’t hear as she placed two of her hands over Sans’ on his sword. She guided it over and stabbed it down into Burgerpants’ throat. He collapsed into dust, the ring of his soul shattering almost loud in the quiet. She then whispered something else to Sans as she physically turned him to face Papyrus and gave him a small push in that direction.

The angry look on Sans’ face melted to be replaced with concern. “Are you okay?” He stepped forward to crouch down beside Papyrus, not bothering to clean and sheath his sword yet.

“Yeah, I’m okay, now that you’re here anyway.” Papyrus gave him a smile as he flexed his wrists. Even moving that much hurt but he needed to work out some of the stiffness in them. He wasn’t going to do his feet and ankles though, just the thought of moving his broken leg was almost enough to make him want to pass out.

Sans crawled a little closer, his body language suggesting he wanted to hug Papyrus but was thankfully aware that that would be painful for him. “Did they… hurt you?” Sans whispered. “I know you said he… tried and you… yeah, bit it off before he could. But did they ever actually…”

“No, they didn’t. That was the first time anyone’d tried any like that, I promise.” He wasn’t going to mention what they’d been planning to do him tomorrow, it didn’t matter now anyway.

“Oh, thank god.” All the tension left Sans’ body as he breathed out. “I was… _so_ worried they’d… do to you what was… done to me and I…”

“It’s okay,” Papyrus whispered back. “I’m okay, I promise everything’s going to be okay. And thank you for saving me.”

“Yo Sans, super good job,” Alphys said, standing in the doorway. She was splattered with dust and had a light coating of dust. “I can see ya already took care of Burgerass. Muffet took out Nicecream and broke his other leg, he screamed like a little girl, it was pretty funny. Everyone still alive has been subdued and arrested.

Muffet had finished untying Dogamy as she stood and sauntered back over to sit down next to Papyrus again, on the opposite side as Sans. “Now you should get your medics in here to patch up these two.”


	66. Safe

It didn’t long to get Papyrus cleaned a little and bandaged back up with Muffet’s and one the squad’s medic’s, complete with a tiny amount of healing magic, help. The medic had also given him something to help with the pain. Other than a small crack on the side of his head there were thankfully no new injuries, though several of the ones already there had been exacerbated.

The whole time they’d worked, Sans had trembled with relief. Papyrus was okay and safe again, _and_ the goons hadn’t raped him. But his soul pulsed with rage each time his mind wondered back to the fact that Burgerpants had _tried_. Hurting him for it had felt _good_ , he’d _deserved_ every second of pain he’d suffered. Too bad he was dead now. But Muffet was right, Sans had gotten some vengeance and had some fun but needed to tend to Papyrus now. There was always Nicecream to destroy later if he felt like it.

“How’s your magic?” Sans asked in a whisper once Papyrus was all bandaged up and the medic had moved on to work with the other medic on Dogamy. If Papyrus needed magic from Sans again he was at least conscious and could thus give permission so Sans wouldn’t feel like he was violating him.

“It’s okay, I think. I’m awake so it can’t be that bad, right?” Papyrus said. He looked like he was just barely managing to stay awake though, but still better than being passed out. But should Sans ask to check and make sure? Even that would be invasive though, right?

“You want to check to make sure?” Muffet said. She was sitting on Papyrus’ other sider, her legs elegantly folded underneath her.

“Nah, I just need some rest and something real to eat.”

Sans relaxed, his eyes drifting over to where the medics were tending to Dogamy who looked… unconscious. Was the dust covering him Dogaressa’s? It was possible, which was sad but at least her dust had been spread onto her favourite thing, right? Poor Dogamy though, he hadn’t asked to be dragged into this, neither had Dogaressa. Would he be mad at Sans and possibly Papyrus for this? Would he even be capable of the emotion with how grief-stricken he no doubt was? Maybe Sans should let him get vengeance on Nicecream. Though that would do little to alleviate the pain of Dogaressa’s death but it would at least help a little, right?

“Yo Sans, whenever you’re ready and when the medics are done taking care of Dogamy we’ll set up a stretcher and you can take Paps home,” Alphys said as she returned. She’d left to make sure her Guards still had everything under control in the main room. “We’ll discuss more stuff, like what we’re gonna do with Nicecream the day after tomorrow. But you’re gonna have at least two days off from training, maybe one or two more depending on how you feel.”

That would be nice, Sans had been under too much stress the past few days and would want to spend as much time as possible with Papyrus for at least a day or two. And some extra time off would be nice, though if he felt up to training after his two days break he probably should. He would see when the time came.

“I’ll be having a couple of my Guards carry Dogamy home too,” Alphys continued. “I uh… don’t know what’s gonna happen to him without his mate. I doubt he’ll be much of a Guard now and gosh, I really don’t know what to do for him.”

“Yeah, that’s… super fucked up,” Papyrus said with a sigh. “Where’s Undyne by the way?”

“She should be on way over, I texted her that the fighting’s over.”

As if summoned by them talking about her, Undyne walked into the room. “Hey Paps, you o-okay?” she said with a small wave as she moved over to stand next to Alphys.

“Yep, now that I’m like rescued or whatever anyway. I’m like super ready to go home to eat something real and take a nap though.”

“Right,” Muffet said as she straightened elegantly. “Going home and getting some rest is probably a good idea for all of us. And it looks like the medics are done with Dogamy, so let’s go see about that stretcher.”

 

Muffet and Undyne volunteered to carry Papyrus’ stretcher. Sans had volunteered too but was too short be able to hold it at the same level as Muffet or Undyne. So, he walked beside it instead. Alphys would’ve walked home with them too but she needed to escort the prisoners to jail and make sure Dogamy got home safely.

Papyrus drifted off to sleep before they were even half way home. Good, he undoubtedly needed rest. But Sans was almost envious that he got to get some sleep already.

When they reached the house, Sans opened and held the door for them. It took a bit of work to get him up the stairs but they managed and without waking him too somehow. He woke up with a grunt of pain as they transferred him from the stretcher to the bed though.

“S-sorry,” Undyne said.

“Nah, it’s cool, but uh wow, we’re already home,” Papyrus said, the relief and exhaustion evident in his voice.

“You slept almost the whole way,” Muffet said. “How are you feeling by the way?”

“Tired mostly.”

Sans could sympathize, he was more than ready to collapse on the bed and sleep. And as soon as he could he would.

“All right, considering it’s way past midnight we should let you sleep then. I’ll be by to visit tomorrow though, if that’s okay.” Muffet turned her eyes towards Sans.

It took him a couple seconds to realize she was asking for his permission. “Yeah, that’s fine if Pappy’s okay with it.”

Papyrus nodded, yawning.

“I’ll probably be by again too,” Undyne said. “F-for a little while at least, I have work I’ll need to catch up on.”

Before leaving Muffet gently pet Papyrus on the head which he seemed to enjoy based off the way he relaxed into it. Sans followed them downstairs to see them out and lock the door behind them after exchanging farewells. He then when back upstairs.

“You need anything or do you want to go to straight to sleep?” As tired as Sans was he’d tend to anything Papyrus needed first.

“Uh… some real food would be nice. But if you’re not up to making anything right now that’s fine, I can eat tomorrow.”

Sans wasn’t up to preparing anything right now but. “We still have some left-over food from Muffet’s, is that okay?”

“Sure.”

Sans ran downstairs to get it out of the fridge and bring it back up. He was a bit hungry himself but not enough to make eating worth it right now. So, he sat on the chair while Papyrus ate, ready to go get anything else he needed and clean up once he’d finished.

“Pappy, I’m… _so_ glad you’re okay,” Sans said once he’d cleaned everything up and he was getting ready to turn off the lights so they could sleep. He wasn’t sure he could ever fully articulate how relieved he was that Papyrus was safe. Maybe he was being a bit needy and it might be viewed as a weakness by a lot of people but he didn’t care. “And I’m so, _so_ sorry I let you get…”

“No, Sans,” Papyrus interrupted. “Ya didn’t let any of that happen and it’s _not_ your fault.”

“But…”

“And even if any part of it _was_ you fault somehow, which it’s not, I forgive you. So, don’t blame yourself and just be happy we’re together again, kay?”

Sans nodded wiping away the tears that had formed in his eyes. He could do that right now at least. Later he’d probably end up beating himself up again for everything surrounding this. But for right now he could be happy that Papyrus was safe and with him again.

“Also, thank you so, _so_ much for saving me.” Papyrus grinned. “I’d’ve been toast if it wasn’t for you.”

Sans nodded again, wishing he could hug Papyrus. That would probably cause him pain though.

“Let’s go to sleep though, huh? Before I pass out.”

Sans turned off the light and crawled into bed next to him. Like last time he wrapped himself in his own blanket to separate them, hopefully that wouldn’t be necessary. But if he had a nightmare he’d deal with it then and Papyrus was there to comfort him again so it’d be fine.


	67. Epilogue

“Um… can I ask how’d ya… fare without me?” Papyrus asked. “Ya know like, how’d deal with your problem and… nightmares and stuff. If ya don’t mind talking ‘bout it anyway.”

It was the next day, they’d just woken up and had breakfast, more like lunch considering the time of day. They’d played chess as always and Sans was just putting the board back into the nightstand’s drawer. It was _so_ much better and faster having Papyrus help him with his problem.

Sans took a deep breath as he considered his answer. How _had_ he fared without Papyrus? “I think… I might’ve done a bit better than I would’ve excepted. I cried a lot sure but I also got really mad, kind of a lot like I used to do but not as bad or as long. And I… stopped myself from thinking bad thoughts sometimes. I dealt with my eating problem alone without… touching myself, I played solitaire instead. I had a nightmare, a _really_ bad one but I didn’t do like I did that one time.” He pressed a couple finger to his wrist where the scars of his suicide attempt were covered by his glove. “I think those times when Alphys forced us to separate and… me to deal with some of my issues by myself helped a lot.” Sans wouldn’t have been able to function without Papyrus at all if hadn’t had practice doing so. “It was hard though. I was _super_ worried about you and what they might be doing to you.”

But everything was finally all right again now. He’d saved Papyrus, just like how Papyrus had saved him and how he’d promised himself he’d do. He’d even gotten revenge on Burgerpants, _very_ satisfactory revenge. Nicecream would be next, though if Dogamy wanted to, Sans would let him do have Nicecream instead. He deserved some revenge too.

“I’m super proud of ya bro,” Papyrus said. He sounded genuine too. “I uh… was worried that might not have been able to handle it. And gosh that sounds really… kinda not good to say but… I’m glad ya managed all right on your own.” Of course, Papyrus would’ve been worried about Sans even though he’d been in a much worse predicament. But they were both safe and together again.

Sans relaxed back in his chair. “Just so you know I’m not going to leave you completely alone again until after you’ve recovered. If that means I have to disobey Alphys or whatever I will. I’ll only go out to visit the babies when she or someone else is with you.” It didn’t matter that the biggest threat to the two of them had been neutralized. The events of all this would get out, including how beat up Papyrus was, there’d been too many Guards present last night for anything else to be the case. Someone who didn’t like Papyrus or wanted to hurt Sans through him might try to take advantage of that.

“Yeah, okay that uh… sounds fair. And at least I won’t get… _bone_ ly, right?”

It took Sans a couple seconds to register the pun. How long had it been since Papyrus had made wordplay jokes? It was something he’d used to do quite often, more than Sans had liked. He’d done it to irritate people, normally Sans, most of the time but also did it sometimes when he was in a good mood and wanted to be funny, this was obviously the latter.

“Yeah.” Sans maybe would’ve responded with his own joke but he’d never been good at them even back before he’d started pretending he didn’t like them. But it was nice to see Papyrus make a joke again, even if he didn’t know how to convey that. But the satisfied look on Papyrus’ face said he didn’t have to.

“Anyway,” Sans continued, “I should probably finish cleaning this room before Undyne and Muffet come over to visit.” He looked around the room. It was still a mess even if it was better than it had been not that long ago. But it wouldn’t take more than a few hours to get it back into shape if he worked at a steady pace.

“Ya don’t gotta clean right now if ya don’t wanna,” Papyrus said. “I doubt they’d mind. Well, Muffet might but she’d understand and probably wouldn’t say anything.”

“I think I want to though.” Sans maybe kind of did for once. It was bothering him; only little bit granted and he could easily ignore it and push it to the side if he chose to, but even without considering what their guests would think of it he should clean it for Papyrus, right? He was going to be bedbound for a long while, he deserved to be in a clean room. And it would give Sans something to do in here that wasn’t just sitting in the chair next to the bed. Last night he hadn’t had a nightmare, so today he wasn’t feeling as tired as he usually did. In fact, he felt pretty good now that they’d waited out his eating problem. Papyrus was home safe so everything was much better than it had been yesterday so everything looked like it would turn out to be all right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, this story's finally done. Thank you to everyone who read it, left kudos and comments, and all that stuff. :)
> 
> It's possible I'll write a third part. I've got a good concept for it and several good ideas. But I need a break first, including the first part, 'Swapfell Sans Suffers', I've been working on this story for almost an entire year. So, I need some time away to work on other things for a while so I don't get burnt out on it.
> 
> My next main project is continuing 'Feral' if anyone cares. The next chapter of that should go up tomorrow night/super early the following day (in my timezone anyway). But again thank you for reading my fic, I really appreciate it. :)


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